So, like, 3 more chapters left? I can do it.

I took a break [this summer pretty much killed me] and now, looking back at the past chapters, my writing pretty much sucks. =\

I'll try my best to do what's best: Apologize and finish this story strong.

So I'm sorry, and here we go. A lot of classic literature in this chapter; I hope you all are fond of us literature junkies!

Stage 3: Voile, the Magic Library
Dust floats quietly and settles onto the windowsill; are they contemplative fairies?

A glimpse into a world where everything is black and white... Are you blind that you can't see our gray world is best?

Patchouli Knowledge sat solemnly at her study desk as Koakuma quietly hovered about behind her, reading her Grimoire of Knowledge...

I wouldn't admit it to many, but it really is just a diary. I flipped through it, stopping occasionally when my eye caught an interesting phrase or two. I sure wrote a lot about Marisa in the past few months, and looking over it all, how we changed... it brought a wave of nostalgia...

May 25:

"...She sped right through the 'D' and 'E' sections this month and is now getting started on 'F.' She's ceased all her talk about going to the outside world, and I'm glad. All this 'following her dream' crap is kind of annoying me; there's nothing wrong with staying in Gensokyo, heck, there's nothing even wrong with staying inside all day. Look at me.

Okay, that was a bad example..."

June 4:

"Eight in the morning, every morning; My, is she punctual!

It's been months and still I'm amazed by her passion, her enthusiasm. Not just for reading, but for the books themselves.

She huddled under my desk and wrapped her arms around my legs all throughout Frankenstein (much to my protest, although I can't say I really... minded...) and I had to plug my ears as she went on and on about The Great Gatsby to Koakuma. (She would have rambled to me about it, but she eventually learned better than to.)

Now she's absolutely obsessed with some messed up book series about Potters or something by a 'J. K. Rowling.' It must be a comedy, because Kirisame-san and Koakuma are having a great time laughing at the examples of 'magic' in those fat books. There are a great amount of them, but that black-white girl is, as expected, reading them at a remarkable speed..."

June 11:

"Dear goddess, Kirisame-san is still trying to get me to read The Jungle Book. She's poking and prodding me and refuses to give up; I think the only way to satisfy her is to give in and pretend to skim through one of these crap books, mukyuu...

Well, I read it this morning much to Marisa's elation, and I suppose it would be lying to say it was horrible.

I still don't believe the writing of those human people in the so-called 'outside world' can ever compare to what we can do, but... it was a pleasant experience.

I mean, I haven't read something that wasn't pure fact and science for such a long, long time..."

June 23:

"Three of the books in this shelf are of the title The Lord of the Rings and I feel like I should be slightly ashamed when I tell you that I enjoy them almost as much as Marisa.

What can I say; they're fun. If you had told me a couple months ago that I'd be enjoying a book that wasn't all about the proper skin care for vampires with eczema, or the theories behind the tanukis' inflatable testicles, I would have blasted you through the wall.

But they're fun, you know..."

July 21:

"Boy, I haven't written in a while, wouldn't you think? I've been forgetting; Marisa is still around, reading these books, and she's already up to The Odyssey by Homer. He's a Greek poet, she tells me, after reading his biography. Her memory and reading retention is truly amazing, wouldn't you agree?

The problem , if you can call it a problem, is that she's getting me to read them, too... and I like them.

Is that bad? I feel like I should be upset at myself, but I'm not! I'm actually, looking forward to waking up every morning and seeing her come in at eight.

Yes, that's right, 'waking up.' Meaning I've actually been getting sleep, too; just because we're getting along doesn't mean that Marisa and her boundless energy don't wear me out completely!

'The power of love is infinite, ze,' she says when I bring it up, and it makes me smile.

Wait, wait you don't think she means that, like...

Oh, ha! Now she's trying to get Koakuma into her book! Oh, that Kirisame; her determined little grin is so cute...

You know, I promised not to tell, but late last night I saw that Koakuma taking a peek into Macbeth after all the fangirly fuss the two of us made about it. I bet that little devil feels left out; I'll go see if she'd be better interested in Old Yeller."

July 24:

"My goddesses, help me. Someone, please give me the patience; Marisa is going to drive me through a wall!
We were actually having an intelligent conversation today, a peaceful, intelligent conversation!
We both read The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton, and it... it was good.

I quite enjoyed it, and... and it would be another lie to say that it didn't make me tear up a bit. Some of the terminology took a little bit of thinking to understand, and I still don't exactly get what all this fuss about 'grease' is, but... It was a beautiful book, sincerely, and according to Marisa, it was written by some girl when she was 16! I was still practically an infant at that age!

(I understand youkai and human timelines are a bit... different, but still.)

Marisa and I were talking about this and that, having a friendly argument about how I think Dallas was stupid and how she thought he was heroic and cool, wondering why he didn't just dodge the bullets, and sharing our anger against the Soc's and sympathy for Johnny...

Until Marisa has to go out and say some more of her outside world crap.

'I wish we could go and meet S. E. Hinton...' and 'Maybe it would make more sense if we lived out there; I heard that the author based the book on where she grew up, you know.'

Mukyuu.

Then we end up getting into a real argument, and now she's gone, and I just want to knock someone's head off!

Can't she just enjoy the books? They're fiction! Fictional, fake, unreal, you read them, you get over it! She just wants to live somewhere where she can be special, she just wants to live somewhere where she really just doesn't belong, and she thinks that Gensokyo is abnormal, and that the outside world is where everything is real!

If I'm too weird for her because I'm some inhuman, heartless youkai, then whatever, let her prance away to her normal humans and leave! She might as well exterminate me while she's at it! I just don't care anymore!"

July 30:

"...So she apologized...

Ugh, how am I even supposed to feel about this anymore?

I mean, she just came in and then started ranting to me about The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, and then I ended up reading it for myself, and then we were both ranting about how much we hate that Dorian guy... Before I even realize it, Koakuma is giggling at us, exchanging words of passionate anger against Mr. Gray together.

Brought back together through the common hatred of a fictional character.
( I still can't stand him! What a book!)

But perhaps I should be thankful to him...

I really want to get back to Robinson Crusoe now, while Marisa tackles The Scarlet Letter... Gosh, she's got such great taste in literature, that sweetheart... It even impresses me...!"

August 3:

"Urgh, Sakuya-san came in and 'discovered' us the other day, debating about The Secret Garden. I ended up stopping her from immediately trying to shove knives down Marisa's throat, thinking she was intruding again.

But now that I've explained the situation, she, Remilia, Flan, and even that China are peeking into the library after Marisa's come in at eight and sat herself at the second to last bookshelf in the third column. They're interrupting us every five seconds, it seems!

'Hey, Patchouli-san, your playmate is over again, aru!'

'Oh, Miss Knowledge, please excuse me. Let me just drop off this tea and I'll leave you two alone.'

'Uuuuu, how come Mari-chan always comes to play with youuu, Pachu-chan? Are you giving her some special reading lessons, Pachu-chan?'

'Patchy, dear, you and Marisa aren't doing a little bit more than just book talk in here, are you? Koakuma, you ought to keep an eye on those two kids for me!'

Even Koakuma is giving me these mischievous looks! And I mean, like, more devilish than usual!

They all completely misunderstand! We just have a mutual love for literature, and magic, and the pursuit of knowledge. That's all, mukyuu!
And love for this Sherlock Holmes series. Marisa is so right; Doyle is brilliant!"

August 9:

"The Time Traveler's Wife was just so amazing; I don't really know how to express it! I loved it, sincerely!

I mean, I can time travel, potentially, with enough work, and we have a certain 'human' maid resident who can stop it, control it.

However, Audrey Niffenegger is a positive genius! The concept was portrayed so cleverly, originally, beautifully... not to mention time travel doesn't even exist in the real world! Such an idea, it must be so unorthodox and revolutionary, as those humans have never experienced it or had the pleasure of knowing it, yet this book was so intelligent in that aspect...

Oh, boy, I'm almost forgetting that these authors, these books, they're from the real world. Wait, why am I saying that? Gensokyo is real enough. The outside world, I should say. The outside world...

What's wrong with me?

I'm turning into Marisa; shouldn't that bother me? A silly little 'normal human' worshipper. Now that I think about it, all I've been reading are Yukari's books lately, and I haven't touched my translations, my taxonomies, my documents, in weeks!

Next, I'll be tacking 'Ze's to the ends of all my sentences!

This isn't right!

I am of pure youkai blood; I am Patchouli Knowledge, a pure-bred youkai magician! Not like that human black-white or that phony little 'seven colored puppeteer' girl who cheated her way into long life with that grimoire. I live here, I love it here, I need no place other than my study, I need no one other than myself!

But why do I feel so...

Conflicted? Upset?

...Is this that feeling people call...

Confused?

I'm never confused...!

Mukyuu, I just... I don't know what to do, how to feel.

Marisa has blasted past the 'T's, 'U's, and 'V's and is now on 'W' with War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy."

August 16:

"Is it just me, or is Marisa slowing down?

She read The Turn of the Screw, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Treasure Island in less than a week a bit ago, but she took absolutely forever on Watership Down and only today is she hesitantly concerning herself with Wuthering Heights.

She's spending more time talking to me (and attempting to do as much with Koakuma) than she does reading; she's getting up and having lengthy conversations with the maids when they do as little as bring a cup of tea.

Is it wrong to be happy that she's taking a little longer to finish that d*mn bookshelf?

...Is it wrong to feel so scared?

Will she still come and visit me after she's put down that last book in the 'Z' section?

Will she care about me when I have nothing that interests her?

I want to tell myself that of course she will; I'm actually content when I say that over the past few months, she and I have grown so much closer. We're friends. It's... ridiculous! We weren't even like this during the whole Subterranean incident...

I haven't seen a single thievery from her, as promised, and Reimu even came in yesterday asking if Marisa was here. (Which she was.)

That prissy shrine maiden actually thanked me for keeping Marisa away from her shrine and all the other places in Gensokyo where she'd usually be spending her time tricking and stealing. She thanked me.

Strangest experience of my life, I'll tell you that.

What if Marisa thinks I'm a dork now that she sees how I spend my days? What if she's still offended by how I refuse to speak of the outside world? What if she thinks I'm some scaredy-cat shut-in who's actually just frightened of the thought of ever going back...?

What if that's right?

I miss her already and she's not even gone yet.

The scariest thing isn't my fear of her leaving me, my fear of the outside world, the fear of being alone, none of that can even compare.
I'm so, so scared...

I think I love her."

The clock chimed 8 AM; I slammed my grimoire shut abruptly when I heard the door creak open. Marisa Kirisame golden eyes met mine and we both smiled by reflex.

(I'm so screwed.)

The black-white sat herself in front of the second to last bookshelf in the third column on August 24th...

"Well, it's time to finish up Wuthering Heights, ze. You should try it when I'm done, Patchy... Say, what's this next book called... 'The Yearling' by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings... Hey, I'm on the... I'm on the 'Y's already, Patchouli...! Da-ze..."

Still not liking the title, but is it too late to change it?

Meh.