Chapter four.
So have any of you readers ever seen the movie 'This is Spinal Tap'? I know that has absolutely nothing to do with Harry Potter, but even geeks like us do a few other things in our spare time. Well if you haven't then you should go to the nearest movie store and rent it. I laughed so hard watching that movie. Anyway you all know that I don't own Harry Potter, the superb J.K. Rowling does and I would never attempt to take credit for it.
Oh and by the way this chapter makes mention of some SLASH pairings so if you don't like that, well either don't read this chappie or suck it up.
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Miss Granger are you there?
-SS
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Yes, why? And I thought we agreed that you would call me
Hermione.
-HG
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Do you know who Mr. Potter has for his writing project?
-SS
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Ummm…… I think he has Draco Malfoy; why?
-HG
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Because I just found the two of them snogging in the
broom closet on the fifth floor. Did you know he was gay?
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Of course I did Professor. Can I ask you a favor on
Harry's behalf. Would you not tell anyone about him?
-HG
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Why, does he still like all of the girls chasing after him?
-SS
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No, but surprisingly enough he is rather shy, and he doesn't
want anyone but his friends to know until he has to tell people.
So could you not mention this to anyone. Please….!
-HG
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Okay, but only because you said please. So why are you here.
I thought that you had Head Girl patrols tonight.
-SS
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Yes, but how did you know that. Were you doing a little
extra checking up on one of your students? …….Gasp! I'll have to
tell the Prophet.
-HG
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I only knew because all Minerva does is brag about her 'Little
Lioness'. I don't know if you could get the same effect on paper
but there were air-quotes around that. Besides you still didn't tell
me why you weren't out.
-SS
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Draco offered to take my patrols tonight since I am ill. Or in case
you didn't notice I wasn't in Potions today. I have mono. Thank
goodness for wizarding medicine methods, so I will be over it in a
couple of days rather than a couple of months.
-Hermione
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Isn't mono the kissing disease? Who did you get it from?
Normally under the circumstances I would guess Potter, but
my opinions have been changed thanks to his little escapade
tonight.
So who was it?
-SS
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I can't believe you would suggest something like that. People
can get mono from other things too.
-Hermione
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What? The illustrious Hermione Granger finally got laid,
there was a bet going on in Slytherin to see when it would
happen. I believe Miss Greengrass won.
-SS
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SEVERUS SNAPE ! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT?
-Hermione
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Sorry, I think I overstepped boundary there. Besides I was just kidding……
Blaise Zambini won. Kidding… still.
-SS
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Overstepped your boundaries… only a little. And by a little I meant a lot. I would assume that I got it from supervising a detention the other day. There was a little girl who looked sick and I sent her to the Hospital Wing. I suppose she had mono. On a slightly related subject did you know Draco was gay? He and I have been friends since the end of the war but he never mentioned anything.
-Hermione
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Oh yes, I suppose you are right, I heard about Miss Larson's illness. Yes, I did know about Draco. I am one of the few that do though, so don't worry that he didn't' tell you. I think the only other people that know besides myself, and apparently Mister Potter would be Lucius. Not that he approves, but at least he didn't kill or disown him like I thought he would
-SS
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Ok, well I have a question for you, was there really that bet going on in Slytherin?
-Hermione
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Do you want the honest answer or the one that portrays my Slytherins in a positive light?
-SS
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Oh my goodness, it is true. Isn't it?
-Hermione
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I am sorry to say that it is. But I put a stop to all of the gossip about it and threatened to take away house points when I found out. Not that it is much consolation, rumors and wagers like that have been going on for a while.
-SS
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What are some of the other ones?
-Hermione
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Do you really want to know?
-SS
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Would I ask if didn't?
-Hermione
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Well the most popular ones were who would you end up with; Ron or Harry? Or …..
-SS
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What? Or what?
-Hermione
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Well the other one was 'Is she a lesbian?' but I swear I stopped that as soon as I found out. I told them that you weren't and that if I ever heard them talking about it again then…. Well you get the point.
-SS
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How did you get them to believe that one? If there is one thing I know about Slytherins its that they don't give up an idea unless they have a definite reason to. So what did you tell them?
-Hermione
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Ummm…. Remember that rumor that got started about you and Longbottom……?
-SS
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No, you didn't. I was denying that one for weeks. I can't believe you said that.
-Hermione
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Well it was either that or the lesbian rumor would get around. Besides it isn't my fault that I can lie so well. I was a spy if you remember.
-SS
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Well then thank you, you saved my reputation that blow at least.
-Hermione
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What do you mean? There were more rumors that even I didn't know about?
-SS
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Yeah, just stupid stuff. You know; 'She can't even get a date.' 'She probably paid Krum to go with her in fourth year' or my favorite " Did you hear the comment Snape made bout her teeth before potions yesterday?' 'Yeah, he was right on the mark with that one"
-Hermione
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People still remember that comment from fourth year? I did but still…..
-SS
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Yeah I never forgot that either
-HG
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Oh no Hermione you are not going to switch back to 'HG' format just because you are upset about something that happened three years ago.
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'HG'
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Would it help if I said I was sorry?
-SS
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Maybe…..
-H
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Okay…. I'm sorry I didn't mean to be so rude. I did not realize that your emotions were that fragile.
-SS
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That isn't much better
-H
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Ok, I'm sorry Hermione, I really didn't mean to make you cry.
-Severus
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You signed your letter with your first name.
-Hermione
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Yes. It felt like I was…. Well I don't know, but I like signing Severus better anyway.
-Severus
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I think I have to get to bed, Mono is still mono, even if you have a quicker cure.
-Hermione
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Goodnight Hermione
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Goodnight Severus, sweet dreams.
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And the switch to first name basis is complete. I made the one from 'SS 'to 'Severus' obvious but did anyone notice when 'HG 'turned into 'Hermione?' sorry this took so long.