Chapter 10 – not enough
Lilli didn't know how many time had passed, but she eventually decided to go back into the castle and to the hospital wing. She wanted to talk to James and also to Anna about what happened. So, the green blood she saw was not an imagination. It was real and it was possibly James blood. She remembered seeing Anna coming from the dorms after she saw the blood, which means that she may have been responsible for that clean up, too. Her appearance was not a coincidence.
Lilli walked through the corridors up to the hospital wing and stopped right in front of the door. She breathed deeply in one last time and opened the door, determined to take James to task... and wanted to close it at once.
James was laying on the bed, but he wasn't alone. Melissa Kingcade laid above him and they were laughing happily. The picture of both of them being exuberantly happy and so close shot a painful hole into her already beaten heart.
"James, stop that," Melissa giggled. Lilli turned around to go away as fast as she could, when James called her in surprise. He was still smiling at her, meaning that he didn't know how much he really hurt her by being with his girlfriend in such an intimate position.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" He asked chummily.
"I am... um... Sorry, doesn't matter." She left as fast as she could, nearly running away. Why the hell was that girl there? Why was Melissa Kingcade with him? Dumb question, the answer was obvious. Because she was his girlfriend, of course.
Lilli walked back to the common room. She just wanted to be alone at this moment. James and her got along so fine these past week, she almost forgot about his girlfriend. She really thought, she had managed to get closer to him... She was so blind.
"Anna?" Lilli asked surprised as the witch had been waiting outside the common room, leaning on the wall, cross-armed with a sceptical expression.
"Seems like we need to talk, don't you think, Evans?"
Lilli nodded agreeably. Yes, she wanted to talk, but not after what she just saw. The only thing, she wanted to do was to sit alone in her bed and cry. But instead, she followed Anna down the corridor.
"I was not going to let you girls in anyway!" The Fat Lady yelled after them, muffed. Lilli looked back confused but didn't respond to that. She was even more confused when Anna guided her not anywhere but into the guys bathroom.
"What the -" she was about to curse when Anna just pulled her in.
"Hello? Somebody spend a penny?! No? Great!" She pointed her wand towards the door and closed it. "Just made sure Lissy isn't going to eavesdrop on us."
"In the guys bathroom?" Lilli asked disbelievingly.
"Which girl would come in on purpose?" Anna asked her.
"None, I'm sure. Like no guy would go into a girls bathroom on purpose."
"Wrong! Lissy was here... a lot."
"Why? What would she want in a – Ohhhh!"
"Yes, James."
"James? They... what?"
"Shag."
"Oh... well... thanks for telling, but do I look like I wanted to know that?"
Lilli stepped back, trying to find the right spot to sit down. There were the frame of the urinal or the sink. The sink seemed to be the better choice. Anna didn't have any problems to sit down right next to her onto the other sink and starting to swing her legs.
"Today, you witnessed something, you wasn't suppose to, Evans."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Care to explain?"
"What exactly?"
"What I saw? Why did he fall down?"
"Well... Exhaustion, I guess. Could have a lot of reason though, but usually he let me know if he thinks it's going to happen."
"Going to happen what? What was that spell you put on him and why did you do that?"
"Evans, if I really explain everything to you, we are going to still sit here above the sink tomorrow and I don't have any intention to do that. It's really uncomfortable and my butt hurts already."
Lilli couldn't help but smile. Anna seemed to take notice of that, but didn't show any reaction. Instead, she heavily sighed.
"Let's keep it short. James is not doing well. You could say he is sick."
"Sick?"
"And there are not a lot of spells, that could help him and even less wizards and witches, who could manage those spells. I can do some of those and I use them to help him. Neither his parents or Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey know about that, because he doesn't want them to know."
"But why? If it's a disease, they -"
"I said, you could say that. I didn't say it is a disease."
"But -"
"Anyway, he suffers and I ask you to not tell anyone about that."
"What's that disease?"
"I can't tell you. This is James business."
Lilli sighed.
"Something else: He was not himself, when he crashed. Therefore he didn't know that you saw that. Don't tell him."
"But why?" Lilli asked afraid. Seeing him like that already scared her, but having Anna telling that he wasn't himself, scared her even more.
"Because he would feel upset about it. He thinks a great deal of you."
"Oh..."
These words were something, the Head Girl never thought she would ever hear. James liked her? Her opinion mattered to him? If anybody else would have told her that, she would have laughed at him, because it would sound like rubbish. He never acted like her opinion mattered to him anything. But it was not anybody, it was Anna White, one of James closest friends. She knew him very well and she had said that.
"But... Kingcade?" Lilli said irritated.
"Even so I'm probably not suppose to say that and he will kill me, if he ever finds out that I did tell you, so I advise you strongly to never tell him that, because otherwise I'll kill you, but... the truth is, Lissy is the girl, he is together with, but... you are the girl, he always wanted to be with."
And Lilli felt again the feeling to smile widely. Did Anna really say that? Did Anna say what Lilli wanted to hear from James? What she always hoped for, that could possible happen? She even cried occasionally at night, begging for that to happen. So, James liked her? Maybe even more than his girlfriend?
"Just try to act like you was not there."
"You want me to ignore what happened today?" Lilli asked disbelievingly, but her room mate nodded frigidly.
"Do it for James. He thinks that he can deal with that by himself and doesn't need anybody else. I guess it's just a matter of time that he will realise that he can't, but until then there is no reason to smash his pride or ego by telling him off that he is wrong."
"I don't understand. What's your point?"
"That's doesn't matter now. If James means anything to you, then you keep this to yourself, Evans. And please, stop trying to destroy his relationship to Melissa."
"I never did that!" she defended herself immediately, jumping down from the sink. 'Or did I?' she thought doubtfully. Someone knocked on the door.
"Hello? Who is in there? I have to pee!" a young voice came from a boy. Anna rolled her eyes, nerved, but also jumped down from the sink to open the door. It was a very young first class student, who was bouncing, but after spotting both girls, grew stiff, his head flaming red.
"Don't forget that, Evans. You won't do him a favour otherwise."
With those words, she left, shaking her head towards the first class student. The door closed again, leaving a confused Lilli in the middle of the Bathroom.
'Great, what the hell was that?' she thought suspiciously, immersed in her own thoughts.
"Um... hello?" the little first class student said embarrassed.
'First she said, that James likes me and that he likes me more than Kingcade and then she points out that I should leave him alone.'
"Um... I'm sorry, but this is the boy's toilet."
'Did she want him to be unhappy for the rest of his life by being with someone he didn't really love? I love him... and... he likes me.'
"I really really have to pee! Could you please leave?"
'She couldn't be serious! I have to talk to her again about this. She just couldn't be serious! And what was that with James disease? How sick is he really? What's that sickness? Why did she start about that and cut it halfway?'
"Um... don't care!"
'Anna was sure about James and me. She could only be sure if he told her..., right?'
sssssssssssssssssss...sssssssssssssssssssss...sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
"What the hell?!" Lilli shouted after hearing the pee sounds, noticing the little boy at the urinal. "Yuck! Can't you say something! Those first class students, unbelievable! 10 points discounted for bad manners!"
Disgusted, she walked out of the toilet and shut the door behind her, leaving the mazed student at the urinal looking disbelievingly and grimaced.
The weekend went by and Lilli didn't see James even once. According to Remus, he had stayed Saturday in the hospital wing, because he cracked some rips when he crashed. When she asked him why James crashed at all, he only answered by saying that he guessed it was exhaustion. James was released on Sunday, but since Kingcade was with him all day long, Lilli couldn't see him even once. Remus was the one, filling in for James duties and doing the rounds with her, since he was the seventh class prefect. At that evening, Lilli had a thought she wanted to share with him or maybe even got an answer from him. She just tried it.
"Remus? You know Anna White very well, right?"
"Yes?" he asked suspiciously.
"How would you describe her relation with James and Kingcade?"
"Um," Remus said confusedly. "Well... She is one of Prongs best friends. They are like brother and sister. He's probably even much closer to her than to his own sister."
"James has a sister?" Lilli asked astonished. Why didn't she know that?
"Her name is Patricia. She's 3 years older and just about to finish her training as an Auror. Never heard of her? When we started Hogwarts, she was in fourth grade. James and Patricia are very close, but James is telling Anna things he would never tell anyone else, not even one of us. Sirius thinks, that are girl-related things, he didn't want to talk with us about."
Remus laughed while they were still walking through the corridors. But Lilli didn't laugh cause she knew things Remus didn't. Sometimes, she wished she had not found out about that, because then her life would probably be easier and not so complicated like it was now.
"Well and Melissa. They are good friends... Or maybe..."
He was thinking thoroughly about what to say, when Lilli prompted him gently.
"Maybe?"
"Well, maybe they are more rivals."
"Rivals? They always hang out together!"
"Just because you hang out with somebody, doesn't mean you're good friends. Anna and Melissa are both pure-blood witches, therefore of good standing in the wizardry world along with their families."
"James once said, what I think of Anna is what she wants me to think of her."
"Ow," he said awkwardly.
"Ow? What's that suppose to mean?"
"Err – I refuse to give a statement?"
"And if I force you?"
"No chance. This belongs to the things I can't tell you, just as there are things about you, I would never tell others, because I promised you."
"But -"
"No buts, Lilli. Please accept it."
"How about a small hint?"
"No," he said firmly, so she had no choice but to let it go.
"Okay, you won."
"Good."
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
She remained silent for a moment, before tenderly adding: "I'm sorry."
"I survived, Lilli. It's not like I'm jealous. I promised you once that if you ever need someone to talk to, you can turn to me. That offer still stands."
"Thank you," she whispered smiling.
They finished their rounds and went back to the Gryffindor common room. Lilli noticed a tuft of black hair lurking out near the couch and the tuft of black hair was not alone but were together with some blond, long hairs. Both knew that it were James and Melissa, who laid there together. Lilli could not take it any longer, so she went up to her dorm. She didn't know why James wanted to be with someone like Melissa or the meaning of Anna's words, but she knew that she would find out about that. She would fight. She would not be weak.
Chapter 11 – should it be?
The first Quidditch game of that year was about to come up and the Gryffindor team was training hard to win that game. James trained with them day and night, whenever they got some spare time. On that Monday evening, he was even running late for doing the rounds with Lilli.
"Sorry!" he mumbled at first after storming into the common room and past the already impatiently waiting Head Girl."10 minutes! Just taking a quick shower!"
He really only needed 10 minutes to take a shower and glided onto the banister back down, jumping daringly in front of her to his feet. "Et voilà! Here I am!"
"Et voilà yourself. We're running 10 minutes late."
"All right, Mademoiselle is not in a good mood," he noticed and pursed his lips.
"Let's go," she said, rolling her eyes before climbing out through the portrait hole.
"Something happened?" he asked carefully, but Lilli just shook her head. Anna did forbid her to talk to him about that and she honestly didn't know why she even listened to her. Lilli didn't tell him about seeing his dark eyes. The dark eyes, that scared her more than she admitted.
"So, your crash didn't seem to bother you too much or am I mistaken?"
He laughed amusedly and a very proud brilliance surfaced in his eyes. Lilli just noticed that they were his usually cheery ones again. Nothing evil was there anymore, only a very gentle sparkle.
"Was not my first time," he answered.
"So you're used to it?"
"Something like that. Did occur at the game against Slyterhin in fifth grade as well-"
He seemed to find that really funny, but Lilli could not laugh about that.
"Hey! Everyone was very worried about you when you crashed at that game and you even thought that was funny?"
"Worried?"
"Of course! Every student and teacher had been anxious about you, because you had been laying in the hospital wing and didn't wake up for several days."
James surprisingly stepped back when she told him off, her eyes staring disbelievingly at him.
"You were worried?"
"I -" she started but silenced herself at once, after realising what she had just admitted.
"I thought, you profoundly hated me in fifth year."
"No, I did not," Lilli whispered very gently.
"You preferred the greasy giant squid over me?"
"I only said that. You just... got on my nerves."
"So... you didn't profoundly hate me?"
"No..." she admitted sheepishly. 'Why am I telling him that? He'll just make fun of it.'
But that was exactly what he did not. James continued to smile and nodded softly.
"Lilli?"
"Yes?"
"It's my turn asking a question, right?"
"Yes."
"Well, I always wanted to know why it didn't work out between you and – Snievellus!"
"What?" she asked dumbfounded, while James just joyfully rubbed his hands and walked past her right into Severus Snape.
"Great," she said incredulously.
"Hey, Oil Snievellus," he bantered, patting his shoulder after catching up to the Slytherin. "It's after curfew. Prowling around at the corridors is off-limits. Seems like I have to take some points."
"Is this all you can do, Potter? Taking Points?" Snape barked snottily, elongated his nose upwards. This caused James to grimaced disgusted, seeing his nostril hair dangling.
"Well, I could also wash your hair but I doubt that all the anti-dandruff shampoo of the world won't cut it."
"James!" Lilli said disbelieving, drawing him away from the Slytherin, turning herself at him first. "Go back into your common room. You are not suppose to be here after curfew, even if you are full-age."
"Shut ab, filthy little mudblood. I don't have to listen to you!" Snape barked nastily.
"What? I – wait!" she stuttered inconceivably. James rolled his eyes, seeing how great his partner was dealing with the situation.
"How dare you!" she yelled firmly. "I'm Head Girl and you will listen to what I say!"
"I won't listen to mudbloods. I'll go wherever I want to."
"You'll go back to your common room, is that clear?!" James shouted loudly and despotically, which even surprised Lilli, since she had never seen this side of him.
"And I won't listen to mudbloods-loving-fools at all! How does Melissa think of her bloke macking on a mudblood at night?"
"Keep Melissa out of this, Snape!"
"Why? Scared of her, Potter?"
"Like you are? Or who showed the white feather whenever she walked by?"
"Afraid to lose her to me?"
James snorted with laughter. "To a Oil-fetishist? Yeah, I'm shivering."
"You will, once I tell her about your carry on with that thing. It will be a real pleasure for me to tell her that in person."
"Not after I'm done with you, Snievellus!"
James already took out his wand, but Lilli stepped between them and pushed his arm down, looking shocked.
"Are you crazy?! Fighting at the corridors are forbid-"
"Impedimenta!" Snape yelled loud. His curse hit Lilli by brutal force and slapped her against the wall. She gasped when the pain suddenly occurred in her body. After she got back onto her feet, she noticed that both guys were already fiercely fighting. But they didn't do this with their wands, but rather with their fists. James got the upper hand since he was way stronger and brawnier than Snape, who could only get a few punches at his rival.
"Stop it!" Lilli yelled at them, but neither James or Snape seemed to listen to her or even noticed that she was still standing by. They continued to beat the crap out of each other. She had the choice between calling a teacher to end this fight or try again herself...
Two minutes later, Professor McGonagall appeared shouting and yelling at them. Lilli stood right next to her, while the teacher pointed her wand at both still fighting students.
"Siste!" McGonagall said eventually and both students froze immediately.
"What the hell got into you?!" she scolded at both, taking the curse off them. While they just kept standing in front of their teacher, she continued to tell them off.
"Mr. Snape!" she finally barked. "You'll go back to your common room without making any detours!"
"Yes, Professor," he said submissively, but shot a nasty look at James, while passing them. The Gryffindor just wiped away the blood on the corner of his lips.
"And now to you, Mr. Potter! I expected more maturity from you! You are Head Boy and there is no excuse to duel at the corridors and more than ever not with your fists! Have you lost all rationality at all? The director told me, you've changed to the better and got the right rationality that's needed to be Head Boy. Tonight, no, ever since this year started, I witnessed quite the contrary. Detention! The whole week!"
James did not defend himself at all, but Lilli's jaw suddenly dropped down shocked, because McGonagall only punished and told him off.
"Go back to your common room and thank Miss Evans. She saved you from worse. And something else, Mr. Potter. If you don't better yourself, I will talk to Professor Dumbledore to choose someone else as Head Boy."
"Yes, Professor," James murmured, grinding his teeth. McGonagall left them but both stayed there until her steps faded away. Lilli looked apologetically at her partner, who did look blankly back.
"I am..."
Wait a minute, why should she apologize anyway? She did not do anything wrong, but only the right thing. McGongall did prevent worse! It was probably not fair, she only punished him, but she, Lilli, didn't do something wrong... didn't she?
"Thanks," James murmured sarcastically and walked away from her back to the common room.
Lilli didn't dare to talk to him again that night. He really seemed to be angry and somehow she understood why. On the other hand, did she really had another choice? She could have never stopped their brawl on her own. Both of them were punching each other totally headless.
At that night, Lilli could not sleep. Melissa, Alice and Anna were already asleep. She could hear their evenly breathing as she just stared at the ceiling, thinking about what happened.
'How does Melissa think of her bloke macking on a mudblood at night?' Snape's voice appeared in her thoughts.
'Keep Melissa out of this, Snape!'
'Why? Scared of her, Potter?'
'Like you are? Or who showed the white feather whenever she walked by?"
'Afraid to lose her to me? You will, once I tell her about your carry on with that thing. It will be a real pleasure for me to tell her that in person.'
'Thing,' Lilli thought frustrated and turned towards Anna's bed. 'I'm just a worthless thing for these people. And now, even James is mad at me. Why did I stupid cow call McGongall?'
'I expected more maturity from you!' she could now hear McGongall's voice in her head and it laid a very heavy guilt on her heart. 'You are Head Boy and there is no excuse to duel on the corridors and more than ever not with your fists! Have you lost all rationality at all? Detention! The whole week! Go back to your common room and thank Miss Evans. She saved you from worse.'
Lilli longingly curled up in her bed.
'James, I don't want you to be mad at me. I didn't know that she punished you unfairly. I need to talk to her tomorrow to make things right. She needs to punish Snape, too.'
'Detention! The whole week!'
'It's my fault that he got punished. Great friend I am, really. God, why had this have to happen today? Why?'
Lilli only found some sleep in the early morning, which was the reason why she was so tired in class that day. Sitting on her seat in herbology, she tried hard to not accidentally fall asleep. The Gryffindors attended that class together with the Rawenclaws, so Lilli sat right next to Diana and tried to follow Professor Sprout, who told them something about rare curatively herbs and where to find them.
James sat some rows behind her with his group of friends, consisted of Sirius, Anna, Melissa, Remus, Peter and Alice, who more or less kept up with the teacher. Actually, only Remus listened to what Professor Sprout was telling them. The others seemed to talk at James, because he rolled his eyes every now and then or shook his head. He was staring frustratingly at his desk and finally nodded wearily. She had the worse feeling, that, whatever his friends were talking at him to, concerned her.
"Did something happen yesterday?" Diana asked worrying. "There are rumours floating around."
"Rumours? About yesterday?"
"Yes," she admitted slightly awkward and even a little bit afraid, that Lilli might get annoyed.
"What's with that rumour?"
"James bleeding lips. It says that he beat Snape and you grassed him up to McGonagall and now, he got detention for a whole week."
"Great!" she murmured, snorting disdainfully.
"Not the truth?"
"It is, but I didn't think he would go around, telling everybody about it."
'Great friend, you are, James Potter. Really!'
Throughout the whole lesson, Lilli could not get rid of the bad mood, but Diana didn't seem to be bothered at all. The Rawenclaw girl continued to listen and wrote everything needed down. After the class ended, both walked outside the room to go to their next class respectively. Before Diana walked away from Lilli, she tried to gave her one last advice.
"Talk to him!"
"Who?"
"James. You know, that rumour came from a third year girl, who could have got that from god-knows-who and if this is the truth, you are not that innocent on his misery."
Lilli mumbled angrily something, that Diana didn't understand, because it was in a low voice. So she just smiled and walked away from her friend as fast as she could – right into Remus. The Gryffindor was just on his way back to his own crowd from a Rawenclaw student he was talking to. They met halfway, starting to smile at each other very gentle and tried to move away, so the other could pass. But instead, they stepped to the same side, standing again in front of each other. Remus tried again, stepping to the right at exact the same time Diana stepped to the left, resulted in both of them standing in each others way again.
"Um," Remus said with a kind smile. "Maybe, we should decide for one side?"
"Um, yes... I guess you're right," she answered embarrassed, becoming crimson in her face, being addressed by Remus Lupin with more than just a simple hello.
"Both to the left?" he said softly.
"Um... okay. Well... Bye."
"Bye." She walked shyly her way through the corridors, staring at the floor and without looking back. Remus shook his head, laughing amusedly until he stopped at Lilli, who had been observing them.
"Strange girl," he noticed smiling, but she only grimaced at him.
"Remus?" Lilli asked after they walked together to their next class side by side. "Is James angry at me?"
"Err -" he said confused. "Wait, you talking about that grassing thing?"
"I did not grass him to McGonagall!" she said firmly and was stirred up.
"You called McGonagall, didn't you?"
"What would you have done, if you saw him beating the crap out of Snape?"
"I -"
"Forget it! You are a guy. Of course you could tear them apart."
"You could have use a spell to tear them apart," he said quietly.
'Damn it. He was right. I hate that he's right.'
"I just thought it would be smarter to call McGonagall."
"Consider the fact, that she only punished James, I would probably not state that a smarter call."
"Thanks. I know that now. I didn't mean to harm him. I just wanted to help. It was moronic of him to rip into Snape, even if he was provoked. James should be responsible enough, to not let that get him."
It was a bad statement, which she didn't even mean as it came out. Deep in her heart, she indeed felt guilty for his plight.
Lilli avoided James the whole day until they met for rounds that evening. She waited for him with mixed feelings in the common room. She knew that she did the only reasonable and right thing, because she could not have intervened in their fight without getting herself hurt, probably even not with putting a spell on them.
On the other hand, calling Professor McGongall was perhaps also not the right thing. Everybody knew how McGonagall thought of James being a mischief and putting most of the pranks on his account. The portrait of the Fat Lady swung aside and James entered. His face was half angry, half tired and right next to him was his girlfriend, whose hand hold his one very tightly. They stopped right in front of Lilli, who jumped up from the couch with a start. Her heart gave a jealously lurch when Melissa leaned towards James to kiss him passionately on his lips.
"Think about my words, okay?" With that she left and went up to the girls dorm, passing Lilli with an evil and superior expression.
"Well," she started, looking at her partner. "Should we go?"
He nodded in pondering silence. For a while, she just walked silent on his side, without knowing what to say to him. It was a maddening silence. She wished the evenings back, where they chatted and laughed cheerfully like friends. Did she really destroy that friendship? She just wanted to do the right thing...
"Lilli?"
"James!"
Both of them were addressing each other at exact the same moment, breaking the silence with it. They started smiling relievedly and finally looked into each others eyes after a very long day of avoidance.
"You first," she said smiling, but he shook his head.
"Ladies first."
"No, you go first."
"All right, never argue with a beautiful woman, right?" he said charmingly, causing her heart to beat faster. "I'm sorry for punching Snape. I did not mean to scare you."
"What?" she asked disbelievingly that he apologized to her. That was nothing she expected even in a million years, more that he would ask her why she called McGonagall and betrayed him with that or another cocky thing that would show her that she did him wrong. But it was nothing like that at all. He really meant his apology.
"I could not help it, when he started to slag you. We are friends, not more or less. I just get nuts if a blockhead bad-mouth my friends, but I shouldn't have beat the crap out of him. McGongall is right by saying that a Head Boy didn't behave like that."
"James, I-"
"You don't need to explain yourself, Lilli. It was the right thing to call her. Who knows what I might have done to Snape otherwise in my anger."
She wanted to say something complete different, telling him how sorry she was for not having the courage to pull them apart herself, but he did not let her say one word about that. Instead he took a deep breath, put on a fitted smile, which Lilli noticed was only to cover his frustration and dejectedness, and told her firmly his decision.
"I will give up the position as Head Boy."
It caused a ghastly silence again and a painful feeling inside her already chipped heart. A strange feeling appeared in her, like something was about to eat her up inside. She was afraid of a new partner, who she might not get along with or worse would hate her. She was desperate, because they would go back to seeing each other only a few times if not less. Lilli was sure, that Kingcade would clinched on him even harder. She felt incomprehension, because he gave up a position he obviously liked to perform and even did well. And there was that feeling of sadness, because she was about to lose him, if they weren't partners anymore.
"But... why?" she asked gently, trying hard to hide her frustration and disappointment. She didn't want him to know how much she would miss meeting him and doing those rounds. It was surprising how much she really loved being around him.
"McGongall is right, Lilli. I didn't posses the necessary sense of responsibility to perform this position good enough and you deserve a better partner."
"..." 'I don't want a better one. I want you.'
"The next Head Boy will be Frank Longbottem. You know him and he surely will be great."
They walked very quietly side by side for the rest of their rounds, because Lilli didn't want to say anything else. Actually, she didn't know what else to say, because she wanted to persuade him to not give up his position. Even so Frank was a good student, she wanted James to remain her partner. She thought hard about something to say to him, but no matter what she would have come up with, it was clear that he already made up his mind. No, in fact, his friends had made up his mind. It was just a suspicion that Kingcade planned all this to keep James away from her. After both of them finally entered the common room again, she knew she was right when Kingcade looked at them overconfidently. His girlfriend walked towards him, gave a gentle hug and pulled him carefully on herself as if he needed to be comforted.
Lilli shook her head in disbelief. How did she persuade James into giving up something he liked to do. Was her influence on him that deep? The thought that Kingcade were about to win again, brought a wave of anger and fury up in her, she never thought she was able to feel. That witch did not have James best interest in heart and acted just selfish. Egoistically, she destroyed every good thing in his life. No, this fight was not over. Lilli would not gave up that easy, even after suffering this setback. She would not let Kingcade harm him.
Chapter 12 – Marauder prank, part one
After Lilli finished her breakfast that day, she went back to the common room to get her stuff for history of magic. She was not very eager to go to class after the worse event of last night. James wanted to quit his position as Head Boy, leaving her confused all night. She grabbed her book and stormed out towards the portrait of the Fat Lady.
"Um -" the woman started, but Lilli didn't let her finish. "Open!"
"But -"
"Come on! Open now!" she yelled hasty and was almost already on the portrait. "I'm running late! Open, damn it!"
"Very well then! It's your call," the Fat Lady said, swinging to the side.
BAMMMMM!
"Owwwwww!" Sirius yelled painfully, causing Lilli to push her hand onto her shocked mouth when he appeared in front of her with a now bleeding nose.
"I warned you," the Fat Lady said, grinning very broadly.
"I'm so sorry," she said, looking guilty and handed him a tissue to dab away the blood.
"Nangs," Sirius murmured and sat down on the couch. "Whakwakat?"
"Um-Sorry, what?" she asked carefully, since she didn't catch his sayings by no stretch of the imagination. Sirius took off the tissue and breathed in deeply with his nose.
"I said: What was that?!"
"Um - I'm kind of in a hurry? If I remember correctly, we do have history of magic right at this very moment."
"Binns won't notice if we come in 5 minutes later. I want to talk to you."
"Me?" she asked baffled.
"I did say that, didn't I?"
"Why?" she asked, taken aback. She must have done something wrong, since they weren't even friends and there was none possible good reason for them to talk to each other... except... maybe...
"It's about, Prongs."
"Err -" Except if it concerned James Potter, of course.
"Did you approve or disapprove that he resign his position as Head Boy?"
"I?" she asked again, still confused.
"Is there anyone else inside this room, I could possible ask?"
"Well, if you want to know my opinion -" The Fat Lady started bubbling out. "I approve that he give up that position. He absolutely did not fit being a Head Boy. Look at all the nonsense he's been doing!"
"YOU are not inside this room," Sirius brawled, rolling his eyes. "You are in passing. So of course my question was addressed to Evans."
He looked back at her, frowning. "So?"
"So what?"
"Approve or disapprove?"
"Well... Honestly, I think it's a crazy idea to give up. I mean, Dumbledore chose him to be Head Boy and I doubt that he just did that out of fun just to see how one of you guys manage this duty."
"My sentiments exactly!" Sirius agreed with a very surprised Lilli, who blinked unbelievingly.
"Hold on! I thought you guys were talking him into putting down his position?"
"Who claimed that?" Sirius asked outraged.
"Um – Well, I just thought..."
Lilli could have swore she saw them talking at him yesterday to lay down his duty.
"No, of course not! It's quite the contrary. We talked at him into remaining Head Boy and didn't let himself be goofed on from McGonagall. I think that too, you know, that Dumbledore didn't choose him to be Head Boy, because he had a good day. It's Lissy, who wants him to step down."
"And why did he listen to her? If all his friends say something different, why do he listen to only one person?"
"Why? Come on, Evans. Why are we listen to a special person? He loves her, for example?"
"How can he? She's unfathomably evil! Sorry, for saying this out loud but it is the truth."
"You don't know Lissy, Evans. She is really okay. She wouldn't be in Gryffindor if not and she loves Prongs. He's happy after they became a couple and by the way, she's not the only reason for him to lay down that position."
"What other reasons does he have?"
"His parents. Prongs is a pighead."
"Pighead?"
"His parents love him very much, but recently he acts like a dork towards them. He continuously upset them and provokes to be yelled at. On the other hand, he looks up to the Kingcades, who also love him like a son. As far as I know, they even talk about him like their son-in-law. Prongs' dad was so proud when he became Head Boy. If he now quits by choice, what do you think will his dad say about that? Mr. Potter will go ballistic and give him a very crazy tongue-lashing and we have another quarrel."
"You think," she started disbelievingly. "That he just did that to score off his father?"
"Not only. He probably wants to score off Dumbledore as well, because the headmaster chose him. Recently, he kind of drawing trouble in and tries to make every grown up livid with rage. And not like we used to do that with pranks, but rather in a hard and provoking way. However, we want to prevent him from giving up his position and therefore prevent Mr. Potter from going nuts."
"We?"
"Al, Anna, Longbottem, Moony and Wormtail."
"And what do you guys wanna do?"
"Are you in?"
"Depends on what," she said suspiciously, but Sirius grinned broadly, which said more than thousand words. Lilli just shook her head in disbelief. She got that weird feeling that she would regret this very soon.
History of magic
When Lilli and Sirius sneaked into class, she stopped shocked after seeing what had been sitting on her seat. A Lilli made of board? She turned her eyes to Sirius, who grinned back at her and nodded joyfully.
"Binns wouldn't notice if all his students sitting here were made of board. Don't forget our plan! It has to look real."
He blinked meaningfully, before taking out his wand and put the very charming and attentive looking Sirius made of board with a spell away to sit down. Lilli just shock disbelievingly her head over Sirius craziness, but pulled out her wand as well to put the very conceited looking and with way to much Make up on her face made of board Lilli with a spell away.
Binns really didn't notice them entering and changing their seats. The ghost continued to read from his book without looking even once to his students, who already had fallen asleep and laid with the head either on their desk or on their neighbour's shoulder.
Melissa Kingcade however noticed that Lilli had entered with Sirius and her nasty look could have kicked down a troll. It was obvious she didn't like them hanging out together since Sirius was against James laying off his job as Head Boy.
After a very boring lesson, the students walked out of the class. Some yawned, some others just walked half asleep to the next class. James put his arm over his girlfriend's shoulder and followed his friends down the corridor, while Lilli walked far behind them. She observed the group for some time, asking herself if Sirius was serious that morning or if it was just a bad joke or a cruel prank on her? She really could not tell... at least until the next moment. Suddenly, she saw Anna and Dumbledore walking along the corridor side by side. It was a strange view of togetherness, cause Lilli had never seen both of them hanging out like that. It was always either only Anna or only Dumbledore. Never both together like now. But after observing them longer, she noticed that this view was not strange at all. They treated each other very loving and familiar. Now, it looked like Dumbledore was telling her something very smart.
In fact: "I think I want white socks at Christmas, but I would also be happy if you gave me red ones."
Lilli laid her head to one side, seeing how Anna smiled carefully. It was the first real smile, she saw in her face for a long time. It looked like it came from the heart and made her look kind and friendly, unlike all the other times she was seen. It seemed as if she thanked him for his good advise.
In fact: "You've lost a quill! Mum and Dad are going to kill me, if I tell them I take some money to buy you socks."
Now, Anna bended forward, beaming at him. They both really do look like a happy family, causing Lilli to smile gentle. Probably, they had a heart to heart?
In fact: "Oh! Wait, Mr. Headmaster! I think you got a non-grey hair there."
Zack!
"Ow!"
"Ups, sorry. It was a grey one after all."
"Well, I forgive you. But if that happen again, there is a good chance that I need a wig at the end of the year."
"In that case. I'll take precautions."
"Let's hope that."
And with a trace of smile, he walked away. Anna went back to Sirius to hand over the hair to him. Okay, Lilli understood shooked. That was not a prank. He was serious about that crazy idea.
Advanced defence against the dark arts
While Anna practised with James, Kingsley and Mundungus, Sirius bended towards Lilli, looking inquisitively.
"What?" she asked confused, giving a start after noticing him.
"Tonight? Are you ready? It's our last chance. He wants to talk to Dumbledore after rounds. That's why we need to do it this evening."
"I still think of this as crazy."
"Got it, Miss Know-it-all. Just don't forget to be at that place at the right time!"
"I really hope I manage such an incredible complicated task, since we went there on our rounds on that time every day," she commented sarcastically, throwing him a goony look from the side. He just grinned cheerfully and winked glowing.
"I like that. Nothing will go wrong tonight!"
"Sirius?"
"Evans?"
"If James found out about that, he will kill us."
"I'll take all the blame. One time more or less killing doesn't matter."
He turned away, after feeling the look of Anna on him. She stood right in front of James, who was standing with his back at them at her side. Anna raised her right eyebrow suspiciously, but Sirius just showed her a thumb up. Everything was going just fine. If a marauder made a plan, it had to be great!
And with that, the day passed by and the evening arrived. Lilli breathed in deeply and then walked down to the common room. James was sitting with his friends on the couch, strangely enough, without his macking shadow. Without her, she noticed, the group looked different. Anna appeared to be more kind and outgoing. Whenever she laughed, it was not arrogant anymore or was this just a wishful thought?
"Hey, Lilli," James said. "Ready?"
She nodded without being able to say anything else. The thought of the upcoming evening gave her a lump in her throat. Somehow, she hoped imploringly that everything would work out great, even if it was wrong what they were about to do and James could find out about that.
"Well, then. Shall we have a last time?" He said smiling and so did she a little shy. He left the portrait hole first, but before Lilli followed, she threw a last view back to his friends on the couch. They looked all back, holding her thumbs up, which caused a very strange feeling in her heart and she couldn't tell what it was, yet.
"Shouldn't you actually be... I don't know... a little bit more happier?" James started the conversation, eyeing her confusing while walking through the corridors.
"Happier? Why?"
"Because Frank Longbottom will be my replacement. As far as I know you two like each other, don't you?"
"Well... um... yes, but... why should I be happier?"
He laughed because she was slow on the uptake.
"Because Longbottem didn't make as much nonsense as I do? He will be a good Head Boy."
"You are a good Head Boy, too!" she insisted firmly, but that made him laugh even more.
"I already talked to McGonagall about my resignation. She was stoked! I'm sure she's partying in the faculty room: Finally! Potter resigned!"
"Rubbish! You got a wrong picture of her."
"Or you got a wrong picture of her. OR we both got a wrong picture of her and the truth is that she's even more nasty!"
James grimaced so funny at her she couldn't help but joining in with his laugh.
"Finally! Yay, she laughs."
But that only made her laugh more, even though she shock her head in amazement. How did he manage to always give her such a feeling of being alive and happy?
"I was worried cause you walked the whole day like a mope."
"What did you expect, if my partner turn his back on me."
"Only, so you can have a better partner," he replied, winking at her.
"You really are glad," she noticed with a slightly disappointed voice. She had hoped that he was at least a little bit sad about giving up those evenings with her.
"Sure! Why shouldn't I? I never wanted to become Head Boy. It's not like I begged Dumbledore to throw this on me."
"... understand..." she said, still feeling hurt.
"Hey, both of you!" Frank's voice appeared loud in front as he crossed their way on the corner, waving at them.
"Hi, Frank," Lilli greeted wearily.
"Hey, Longbottem. Shouldn't I take points of you guys? It's too late to make an excursion on the corridors."
Frank started to laugh very quizzically, patting James amicable on the shoulder.
"Cutup! Well, by the way, Lilli! Um... Sirina asked me to pass a message to you."
"Sirina?" James and Lilli asked simultaneously, staring surprised at the classmate. Since when was a girl at their school with that name?
"Yes, SIRIna," he said again and tried to wink with his right eye at the Head Girl inconspicuously.
"Oh... yes... right... Sirina, of course," she said after figuring it out. Unfortunately, Frank's wink didn't go by unnoticed at James as well.
"Who's Sirina?"
"Um – A girl, you don't know," Frank tried to make an excuse, hastily turning to Lilli again.
"Anyway. He – I meant she wants me to tell you that she still needs 15 minutes more than expected, because Dumb – um – ina is not ready..."
"Dumbina?" James asked sceptical, frowning at him. The Hufflepuff boy tried to look as serious and casual as he could. He had no idea how to pass that otherwise to Lilli.
"Yes... She is – um – also a girl, you don't know."
"Sirina and Dumbina? And the third one's name is presumably Remina?"
"..."
"..."
Frank started to laugh out loud to override his jolt, patting James again on the shoulder. Lilli do have noticed that he was laughing way to loud to let it sounds real.
'Great masterminds, these guys,' she thought sarcastically, finally turning towards James.
"Um, let's go to the Hufflepuff common room first, shall we? We should walk Frank back, since he apparently drank way to many butterbeer."
"Butterbeer!?" BLING! You literally could see a light bulb flashing up next to Frank Longbottom's head.
"Yes! Right! Hahahaha... to many butterbeer," he laughed at them.
"Well...," James said, still looking suspiciously at him, but nodded agreeably. "Then, let's go to the Hufflepuffs first."
Chapter 13 – Marauder prank, part 2
"Well, thanks a lot!" Frank said, waving them goodbye after Lilli and James walked him back to his common room. James just shook his head before leaving with Lilli.
"Somehow, I'm afraid there will still a lot going to happen tonight."
"Um... really?" she asked innocently, smiling slightly.
"Sirius is against quitting my Head Boy position. I'm almost sure that he will pull out something."
"Um... well," she said innocently again, even though Lilli wasn't surprised. The Head Girl somehow knew that James wasn't dull at all, so she hoped that he won't associate the upcoming happening with her.
They walked their rounds until they got near the headmaster's office. Usually, they would turn around to walk their way back, but tonight, everything was about to go a different way. They arrived almost at the office, when Dumbledore suddenly walked out from the corner. Strangely, he looked a little bit smaller than they remembered and he didn't wear reading glasses, but very dark sun glasses. James couldn't help but rolling his eyes in disbelieve.
"James!" the guy said at least with the same voice as Dumbledore, which was an improvement. Lilli only shook her head desperately. Sirius was really crazy, if he believed that James could fall for it. "And Lilli! You already finished your rounds?"
No one gave a response.
"LILLI!" Dumbeldore said firmly.
"No – Professor," she answered slowly and monotonously. "We are still... doing our rounds..."
"Well then, but since we are here already. James! You wanted to talk to me?"
"Do I?" He replied peevishly. Did Sirius really even thought for a second that he would believe his masquerade?
"Talk to me, James. Unfortunately, I won't have time later, so we should talk now."
"Okay," the student said, crossing his arms while looking seriously at his friend. "Well, I want a new dorm!"
"A new dorm? Why?" The man asked confused.
"Because my dorm mate and best friend isn't a student, but a maniac, escaped from St. Mungo's. Besides, he stinks like hell and newly started to look like a huge cockroach."
"Um, that can't be right, James. Surely, Sirius Black is a very good friend and I honestly can't imagine he stinks like hell. He wears Merlin's Spice. Is that everything you wanted to talk to me about? Well, in that case -"
"Stop messing around, Padfoot!" James pulled down his white wig and surfaced a Sirius Black with a long, silver beard and dark sun glasses.
"..."
"..."
"James! Ripping off the wig of an old guy isn't very nice. Just don't tell anyone that I actually have black hair and just made myself older and wiser as I really a-"
James ripped off his sunglasses.
"..."
"..."
"And also that I don't have blue eyes but black ones. But I really am Albus Dumbledore! Your Headmaster."
He even ripped off his beard and without any doubts now, there was a Sirius Black standing in the corridor. The only thing that might reminded at Dumbledore was his abnormally embroidered cloak.
"Who unfortunately looks a lot like my crazy best friend, who stinks and looks like a huge cockroach," James added.
"Err -" Sirius said slowly. Lilli just rolled her eyes. She knew right from the start that this was going to be a crazy idea, but no, the marauder just didn't want to listen to her.
"That's a dream!" Sirius tried now, staring firmly at his best friend as deep into his eyes as possible. "You are sleeping! This never happened. If I count to three, you will wake up and I'll be gone."
"Wacko!" James laughed, shacking his head. "If you have to disguise yourself as Dumbledore., why don't use the Polyjuice Potion?"
"Good question," Lilli chipped in, looking suprised at Sirius.
"Err, we already had the hair. Just forgot that the Potion need at least 2 weeks to be brewed."
Lilli clapped her hand on heir forehead.
"And when did you guys notice that? About noon, you said everything worked out just fine."
"Hey, Anna brewed that thing. She's the genius! Told me that she only needed a hair from Dumbledore and that's it. Foolishly, we thought it it's enough if we just stewed the moor flies just 6 hours instead of 21 days and that we could take the river grass, without being plucked at full moon. Um – wasn't enough obviously. Though, we thought, maybe Prongs would fall for my disguise. Didn't I look like Dumbledore?"
"He didn't wear sunglasses, Einstein!"
"Ein-what?"
"You were in on this?" James chuckled hilariously. Lilli was silent at once, looking embarrassed after noticing that she just revealed herself. She was not sure if an innocent look would help at all now. Surprisingly, he wasn't even angry at her, but laughed.
"Mr. Potter? Miss Evans, Mr. Black? What are you doing here?"
That was the real Dumbledore.
BOING! Sirius, James and Lilli gave a start. Sirius was still standing in one of Dumbledore's cloaks at the corridor, which Anna actually had snaffled away, while James had the white wig, the long beard and the dark sunglasses in his hands.
"Um -" Sirius and James looked as if they were caught.
"Um... Halloween," Lilli finally answered for them. "Sirius wanted to show us his costume. He will go as – err -"
"Me?" Dumbledore suggested gently smiling.
And without giving an answer, all three students gave a weak awkward smile.
"Well, putting that aside, even so I like your engagement for our Halloween-Ball, Mr. Black, I guess you are not supposed to be here at this late hour. You should go back to your common room. Mr, Potter? You wanted to talk to me?"
"Um. Yes, Sir."
"Then, follow me, please."
Both went away from Sirius and Lilli into Dumbledore's office. James gave his friends an amused look while passing them. Okay, he had every reason to be angry, as they seemed to think of him as being dumb enough to believe that, but the situation was just to funny to remain serious. After they were out of sight, Lilli turned angrily towards Sirius.
"Well done, really!"
"Hey, blame Anna! Is it my fault that she made a mistake with the ingredients? Punch her, not me!"
She looked a little bit calm now, causing him to smile charmingly. "By the way, Evans. I've got to hand it to you."
"What?"
"Cool reacted, concerning Dumbledore."
"Oh... well... thank you."
"You're welcome."
At Dumbledore's office, James just sat down in front of the headmaster at his desk.
"Well, James. What can I do for you?" the director started benignly.
"Didn't Professor McGongall already talk to you?"
"I would like to hear this from yourself," Dumbledore said, still sounding gentle.
"As of now, I want to lay down my position as Head Boy."
"As of now?"
"I know that Frank is my replacement. So, it shouldn't be a problem, since Lilli didn't mind it either. I only need your agreement to quit."
"..."
For a long moment, nothing happened. Dumbledore was just sitting there, keeping his hands together on the desk and looking thoughtfully into space. A quiet had appeared, James knew very well and took it as it was, without thinking too much about it.
"I'm afraid, I can't let you," he finally answered with a clam voice, his eyes at the young student.
"What?" the marauder asked disbelievingly and chuckled crazy.
"I'm very sorry, James. I'm afraid, I can't let you quit your position."
"You have to!" he now yelled annoyed.
"I don't have to and you know that."
"And why not, if I may ask?"
"Isn't that obvious?"
"No?"
"Because, you didn't really want that."
"What?" James asked again disbelievingly and chuckled even crazier than before. "I'm sure, I know perfectly well what I want and what I don't want."
"Not at this very moment," the Headmaster said, his voice still very calm.
"I'm full-age! I can do whatever I want! If I want to quit, you have to accept it!"
"And yet, I won't. James, you need to stop that."
"Stop what? Telling my opinion?"
"Thinking constantly that everyone just wants the worse for you."
"I don't think that! I know that! Just because you are close to my grandfather, doesn't mean you have the right to control my life!"
"I don't control your life. I try to protect you."
"I don't need protection!" He shouted with fury and rage. "I can take care of myself just fine! If you don't accept it, I can deal with this my way. I just don't do that stupid stuff anymore! How does it strike you?"
"Then, it is Miss Evans, who will suffer, James."
He bristled with anger and didn't understand how the Headmaster could even do that. He knew that Dumbledore would try to prevent him from quitting, but he had now idea what tricks he was able to pull off. This caused an unbelievable hatred in his heart that even disgusted himself.
"I did not make you Head Boy just for fun, but rather because it's my belief that you fit in this position the best out of everyone else."
"Really?" he laughed, feeling frustrated. "You'll see what you get! I won't let anyone control my life. Neither my parents or you or... or him!"
He stood up, mad as hell and stormed out of the office. Dumbledore didn't stir from the pot. His gaze was neither disappointed, nor angry or surprised. No, he had seen that coming and he knew what was about to come. In that very moment, he was just sorry for the boy, that he was not able to change the impending sorrow.
Lilli and Sirius didn't get very far, when James suddenly passed them. His face looked like he was ready to kick the next person out of the window, who dares to cross his way.
"Yo, Prongs!" Sirius called after him, but his friend did not stop. He went his way and obviously not back to the Gryffindor common room.
"Where is he going?" Lilli asked puzzled.
"No idea, but I guess, we shouldn't let him alone in this state. Come on."
Both immediately followed him, but unfortunately, he was too fast. They just got around the corner when they lost all sight of him.
"He's walking out of the castle?" Sirius noticed shocked.
"James!" Lilli shouted after him, but either he didn't hear her or he didn't want to hear her. Just when they reached the door, he had vanished into the dark.
"Did he head to the Quidditch field?"
"I don't think so," Sirius said, feeling worried. "That's in the other direction. Stay here! I'll go after him."
"No! Why should I?"
"Because, it's too dangerous outside. He is heading towards the forbidden forest. Go back and wait there."
"No! I'll go with you."
"No, you don't!"
"Yes, I do."
"No, you don't!"
"Yes, I do!"
"No, you don't!"
"He soon will be out of reach, if you continue do discuss that with me. I'll go! Like it or not."
"Aaaaaaaaarghhhhh! That's the reason why I prefer a goon instead of you smart-aleck!"
But Lilli hadn't waited for his answer. She was already running towards the dark where she saw James vanished. Sirius only needed a few seconds to catch up. Unfortunately, Lilli was faster than he thought, because they suddenly found themselves deep inside the forbidden forest.
Chapter 14 – Deep Falling
"Evans! This is dangerous. Go back, damn it!" Sirius tried to persuade her to leave, but if there existed someone more stubborn than James it was Lilli.
"Forget it! Haven't you seen how mad he was, when he passed us? By the way, I'm Head Girl and if they catch you out here, you'll get detention! That way, I can say that you helped me searching for him."
"It won't pay out a lot, because I really doubt that one of the teacher, let alone Filch himself, got his bed in the forbidden forest, meaning that there is no danger of running into any of them!"
"Why was he so mad?" she asked, ignoring his comment, while they walked deeper and deeper into the forest without realising it. It seemed that James had run very far into the forest, because they still haven't caught up to him yet. At least, that's what Lilli thought, but Sirius knew the truth. He was aware that his best friend had another way to move a lot faster than them. With Lilli at his side, it became just impossible to catch up with him in time. He felt annoyed about her being that stubborn that others would cry out loud.
"Guess, Dumbledore didn't let him quit."
"He didn't? Why not?" she asked surprised.
"Dunno, ask Dumbledore, not me. But judging his reaction, that's the most plausible reason. He wouldn't be that mad if the Headmaster had let him quit. I think that he also doesn't want Prongs to provoke his parents, just like us."
"Dumbledore? Why that?"
"He knows the Potters very well – or, not just well. He's actually very close to the whole family and also the best friend of Prongs grandfather, the minister for magic."
"Minister for magic? James grandfather is the minister for magic?" she asked, looking completely surprised. "I've read articles about him but... Potter is a very common name! A lot of people named Potter. I never thought that he's James grandfather."
"Common name, yes, but there is only this one pure-blood family named Potter amongst the wizardry world."
"Really?"
"There are just a few of them left, Evans. James, his sister, his parents and his grandfather. His grandmother died in an attack from deatheaters, some time ago and any other relatives are also already dead. It's like Voldemort tries to methodically annihilate all the white-magical families."
"Voldemort," she whispered quietly. Lilli was relieved that she didn't have anything to do with him so far and she wasn't eager to change that. Until now, it was just a name she linked to frightful things.
"Why am I even tell you that?!" Sirius asked puzzled more himself than her. "It's not like that matters to you anything. You're living in your own world with muggels being something better or with you being something better."
"Are you crazy?!" she asked, looking appalled. She felt offended by his words, because they weren't truth at all. "When did I claim to be something better?"
"Since you attended Hogwarts, Evans," he replied annoyed. He was worried about his best friend and to have a know-it-all chick being a pain in the neck was nothing he could take much longer.
"Well, then explain to me how I did that, because, I'm sorry, I'm not aware of doing that!"
"No?"
"No!" she emphasised firmly.
"Who always grassed us up to McGongall or the other teachers?"
"I did not grass you up! You were hexing your fellow students! I just did what I had to do as a prefect!"
"Who always bragged about his great accomplishments?"
"I never bragged! I just wanted to be a good student!"
"Who ignored everybody else, just because she felt greater than everybody else?"
"Don't you confused me with yourself?"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" he squealed.
"It's not me, who ignore you. You are the one, who would love to drown me in the sea!"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" he squealed again.
"Wow, great response," she said sarcastically, now squealed mockingly like him: "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"
"Hold on a minute!" he said, smirking and grabbing her arm to stop her as it finally hit him. Both looked at each other. "Just to made that clear. You are telling me, that these past six years, you were grassing, humiliating, ignoring, smashing and made mincemeat of us... you just did that because you liked us?"
"Err -" Lilli said confusedly, but admitted that what he said was actually somehow true in a very strange and nutty way. "Yes?"
Sirius couldn't help but laughed out loud. Lilli crossed her arms, looking resentfully. She didn't find that funny at all.
"You are a really weird witch, Evans. But you know what? I kind of find you funny."
"Funny?"
"Yap, like Anna, I would say. She's whimsical brain as well."
"Whimsical?" she asked, blinking astonished.
A mellowly rustling sounded next to them from the shrubberies and broke up their conversation at once.
"James?!" Lilli asked carefully but there was no answer. Instead, eerily noise appeared around them, causing her to step back in fear. There was a sough and then a howl from an animal, a magical creature.
"What was that?" Lilli asked, unfortunately feeling afraid now.
"Dunno," he answered honestly.
Even though he knew a lot of those creatures in the forbidden forest, thanks to his friends and his wanderings at full moon nights, he didn't know all of them. There were so many that he doubted that even Dumbledore himself knew all and how dangerous they probably were. The purpose of the forest was to protect Hogwarts from unwanted intruders, but it had drawn different creatures over those years and they remained there.
"Why would James ran into the forest, if he knows how dangerous it is?" she asked worryingly, stepping a little bit closer to Sirius as if she would be much more safer next to him, instead of two steps afar, where it might could be much more risky.
'Because, he transformed into a stag and therefore it's not that dangerous anymore,' Sirius thought but instead just pouted and shrugged.
"Dunno, let's go back."
"Go back? But, what's with – Sirius!"
He turned around too late, because he couldn't even react when a wild white animal jumped towards him and pulled him forcefully down, plunging it's claws into his skin. Even though he let out a painfully cry, he still managed to push the creature with all the strength left away from him.
His right arm was covered with blood, but Sirius could still straightened himself again. Sirius and Lilli faced a tall creature like a tiger with a black and white coat, which was also kind of cruddy, like it just got out of another struggle. The animal bared his ensanguined teeth, pried at them with his dark, perilous eyes. He was ready to jump again and roared loudly, before taking aim and dived towards Sirius.
"Impedimenta!" he yelled, but noticed very fast that the spell didn't have the expected impact. The creature was just slightly jostled and immediately jumped onto him. It pulled him onto the ground again, pinning him there.
"Sirius!" Lilli yelled scared.
"Evans! Do something, will ya?!" he shouted, while the creature lowered his teeth dangerously near his neck. "EVANS!"
"Petrificus Totalus!" she said firmly, but even though the spell had hit its aim, the creature wasn't hurt at all. Instead, the tiger turned it's attention towards her, baring his teeth fiercely. It let go of Sirius and was know diving towards Lilli, who stood rooted to the ground. Her body couldn't move out of fear, so she just watched in horror how the animal fastly approached her. She pointed her wand towards it, but wasn't able to speak any spell.
"EVANS!" Sirius bawled, but she was still in shock. FLASH!
A magnificent stag jumped out between the shrubs, hitting the creature fiercely away from the Head Girl, who unfortunately got touched by the stag and fell down. Lilli cried out in fear, but stopped after noticing that the stag was saving her life and fought with the other animal. With a strange fascination, she followed their struggle. One moment the stag had the upper hand but in the next moment the creature seemed to be stronger. It changed every minute.
"Evans!" Sirius shouted worryingly, pulling her to her feet. Lilli wondered for a moment how Sirius could still be that strong with such a wound on the arm, but that question was immediately displaced by the struggle of the two animals.
The tiger now got the upper hand and buried the stag under his heavy body. Before either of them could even react, it plunged its teeth into the waist of the stag. It winced in pain, making an indescribable sound like it was tortured.
"Inflamare!" Sirius shouted, setting the shrubs next to the animals in fire. The tiger jumped frightened away from the stag. "Aedificare Turus!" An invisible protection shield was built in front of the injured stag, to prevent the creature from approaching it again, no matter what it tried. Sirius hat put out the fire and started to shoot spell after spell against the creature to drive it off.
His voice was not only strong but also filled with rage. He knew that it was not any stag, bleeding on the ground, but his best friend in his animagus form. Every spell that hit the creature now was much harder and took its effect, pushing it away, until he finally managed to force it running away. They waited a moment to get sure, that it was not about to come back. Both of them stood rooted to the ground, their wands were still pointing at the shrubs, where that animal had vanished. Then both turned their view towards the stag, who started to close his eyes wearily.
"Damn it!" He barked, running to the stag and so did Lilli. It whined quietly, but wasn't able to move at all. It's eyes opened every now and then for a second, but closed again, looking really painfully.
"Oh no!" she said sympathetically, trying to close the wound with magic. "It won't work?! Sirius? Why -"
"I don't know, Evans. Maybe, those spells don't work for animals, just for humans or maybe it just needs a little longer to take effect..."
So, Lilli took of her cloak and laid it onto the bleeding wound of the stag to prevent it from losing too much blood.
"All because of me," she whispered devastated, looking deep into those hazelnut brown eyes. Lilli blinked confusedly. For one moment, they seemed to be very familiar. She shook her head to get rid of that strange thought. "I'm so sorry," she said gently. If this wasn't the stag, but his best friend, Sirius was sure that he would grin at her. Fortunately, a stag couldn't show such an expression. He took of his cloak as well to lay it onto the animal to keep it warm. Autumn was very cold in Scotland, since the temperatures sank very fast very deep at night.
"Don't worry, Evans. It will be all right. Animals have a natural survival instinct. They don't need medicine like we do."
Lilli took off her cloak from the wound and sighed with relief, noticing that it had stopped bleeding that strong. The healing spell seemed to finally take effect.
"What are we going to do now about James?" she asked Sirius.
"James?" he asked puzzled when even the stag propped up his head in shock. Sirius instantly put down his head without hesitation. "I see! James... um, I'm sure he's already back in the castle."
"What if he's not? What if that creature attacked him and he's now laying somewhere hurt in the forest?"
"I don't think that's the case. I'm sure he's safe and sound."
"How can you be so sure about it?"
"Trust me, I um... know him. Let's rather take care of the stag. He saved your life."
"Yes, he did," she agreed softly, turning her gaze from the forest back to the wounded animal next to her. She gently stroke over his coat, smiling when he suddenly stopped whining. It's like he eased up or even enjoyed her tender strokes. His eyes seemed to show so much gratitude, that it warmed her heart in an instant.
"It's cold..."
"I'll try a spell to make fire," he said, getting some wood to make a small bonfire. Lilli continued to take care of the stag, looking friendly at him and continued striking softly his coat. It was such a proud and strong creature. His coat was so squashy, she never knew that, since she never got close to one like she did now. Sirius had made the fire and laid down right next to it.
"What are you doing?" she asked baffled.
"Get some sleep. What else?"
"Sleep? What if the animal comes back?"
"I built up a protection around us, so no danger there. Get some sleep, too. The stag will be fine tomorrow and then, we can go back to the castle."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm dead certain. Now do what you want. I'll sleep."
"Um... okay?"
Sirius felt faster asleep than she expected. Lilli turned her view back to the stag, who apparently hasn't found sleep yet much like her. She wasn't even tired and therefore could not sleep at that moment at all. The whole night was just get to her.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" she asked the stag kindly. "You need to sleep to get your strength back." But the stag went on looking at her in a very ingratiating way. "Yeah, right. As if you could seriously respond..."
The Head Girl started to strike his coat very gentle, breathing frustratingly. Everything was so hard and complicated. Living was now difficult, growing up should really be banned. It took so much pain to realise that one was not up for that life. Something heavy but squashy laid down on her lap. She took her eyes away from Sirius, just to see the stag had put its head there, looking at her with very cute eyes. Her heart warmed up immediately, because he obviously liked her. At least, he liked her, she thought.
"I guess, you are alone here as well, aren't you? So, we both share the same fate? We are both... so lonely souls. I suppose, you know how it feels if you don't have anyone to talk to about what is bothering you so much? Even so, everyone said you can come to them to talk, you just can't tell them. You are afraid, they might think you are crazy or dumb, because of what you're doing."
The stag nodded gently in her lap and Lilli couldn't help but laughing softly.
"Thank you for your sympathy. May I tell you my trials and tribulations tonight?"
It nodded again, its face remained still approvingly.
"Have you ever been in love? With a deer probably?"
Nodding.
She smiled delighted. It was such a lovable animal and really seemed to like her. A fact, she didn't experience a lot in her life, but she savoured that feeling and continued to strike him fondly.
"Did she return your love?"
It shook its head.
"Something, we have in common, again. How about us? We could join forces?"
It seemed to like that, because she could swear that its eyes looked affirmative and with a lot of imagination, it also seemed like its face was beaming and smiling at her.
"I'm sorry," she said with a soft smile. "But I've already given my heart so someone, who unfortunately will never return my affection. He has a girlfriend, you know. She's... regrettably very beautiful and in addition even very popular. I don't have any chance against her. I kept trying but it's no use. I lose. You have to know that he used to chase after me, but I didn't know that he was the one... you know... and so many times kept on turning him down."
"..."
"I guess it sounds totally stupid to you. A long time ago, I fell in love with a guy. I saw him laying there, saw his eyes and he looked back at me. I'll never forget them. It was like he let me into his soul and his heart... Maybe not on purpose but they definitely showed gratitude to me for staying at his side. I only stayed with him for fifteen minutes though but... his eyes. I'll never forget them. His face and body were covered with blood and bruises and..."
She smiled slightly.
"Bandaged and it was covered with patches. But I had a clear view at his deep, kind eyes. I held his hand to take the fear off him. He was so afraid of being left alone that it tore my heart apart. I wanted to visit him the next day. I remember being very excited about that but when I finally got there, he was already gone. I asked one of the staff, who cared for me and I got along very fine with, but she just answered that his parents took him home. She couldn't told me his name and I was afraid I would never see him again... But I did. In Hogwarts.
I was just stupid, because I recognized him too late. I scared him off and now he's with that silly goon. I lost my chance, because I was so shallow. If I had just looked clearly into his eyes just once, I would've seen that he was the one and I would be at his side now. You probably asked yourself how dumb someone has to be to not notice such obvious things. To my defence, my life was not a walk in the park either. Oh! Now, you are probably thinking: Heaven forbid! Now, she pities herself! But no... it's the truth. Do you know the feeling if you are completely different than everybody else?"
Nodding.
"Muggleborn witch. I guess this is the worst to be. You don't belong into the wizardry world, because you have muggleblood inside and you don't belong into the muggleworld, because of the magical blood inside you. You just don't belong to anywhere but your own world. Lonely for eternity. I don't want to be that, you know, but... I can't change it."
'Lilli,' James thought devastated.
A tear appeared in her eyes, rolling it's way across her cheek down to her chin and dropped onto the coat of the stag. She hastily wiped the rest of them away, sobbing to get a grip on her emotions, she wanted to keep a secret forever.
"I'm sorry. You should sleep at last. If you sleep, you don't suffer that heavy. You are pulled into another world where nobody can hurt you. Absolutely no one... I guess I sound like a mental wreck to you, don't I?"
The stag whined gently before softly moving his head from one side to the other to shake his head. A gesture that showed a lot of kindness.
"Thank you," she whispered kindly, her voice was fractured. After carefully stroking his coat for some time, Lilli eventually felt asleep, exhausted and tired.
"Evans?"
"...?" 'Who's there?'
"Evans, wake up!"
"..." 'Just Sirius.'
""EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!"
"All right, give it a rest, will you?!" she grumbled madly, after waking up with a start. Sirius voice had echoed loudly right next to her ear.
"Jeez, Black! Are you trying to bite my ear off, or what?"
"Never knew that you are a late riser," he chuckled jovially, while pulling her up to her feet. Her face suddenly became worried after she couldn't spot the stag anywhere.
"Where -"
"Gone. Jumped bright-eyed and bushy-tailed away an hour ago."
"What about the wound?"
"Healed good enough. It's going to be okay. We should go back to the castle, before they start worrying about us."
"And if James isn't back yet?"
"Trust me, Evans. He will be back."
"Why are you that sure?"
"I'm his best friend. If I don't know him, who else does?"
Broadly grinning, Sirius walked past her back to the castle. Lilli had seen that broad grin at only one other person and that was James. It obviously was something both of them had if they were totally sure. With all that chaos happened, Lilli didn't even notice that Sirius didn't have any problems finding his way back to the castle from the forest. She was only following him until they got back to the gate. They had just entered the Great Hall, when James walked towards them.
'Thank god. He really got back to the castle' she thought, feeling heavily relieved. The only thing that tarnished the picture was the attachment clinching at his arm. His girlfriend.
"Hey," she whispered. It was probably the most dumb greeting that existed for that moment, but she couldn't think of anything else and awkward silence was the worst for her right now.
"Hey," James responded, smiling kindly at her.
"Let's go," Melissa said coldly, her arrogant gaze turned to her archrival. She was trying to draw him away from her and James only nodded understanding.
"See you tonight, Lilli."
"Yes, see you tonight," she said quietly, watching him leaving with his girlfriend. Her attention turned back to Sirius, who seemed to be pleased with himself.
"Mission successfully completed, haven't we?"
"Mission?"
"Well, Prongs stays Head Boy. That was what we wanted. Well, then Ev – Lilli."
"Lilli? What happened to Evans?" she asked, looking surprised.
He eyed her with a strange look, she had never seen it from him and couldn't tell what it was. Kindness? Sympathy? What?
"Don't throw a tantrum at me, Lilli, but... I kind of overheard your talk with the stag last night."
"Oh..." she said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. She wasn't angry at him at all, but more disappointed at herself for believing he would have been already asleep.
"I think it was the best. At least now, I know that you can be nice. So, how about bury the hatchet?"
"Bury the hatchet?" she asked confused.
"Friends?"
"Friends?"
"You stop pick on me and I stop pick on you."
"I never -"
"Ah ah!" Sirius raised his finger to stop her from saying anything more that could trash what was about to be between them. "Just say okay."
"Okay."
He reached out his hand, but Lilli hesitated for a moment. Should she really do that? What else could she possible lose? Solitude was nothing she wanted to keep and friendship was a present, he offered her. It would be the most stupid thing to remain suspicious and to draw back. It was a big step, but she wanted to take the risk. It took her a lot of strength and a lot of courage to do that with a clear conscience.
"Okay, friends."
"Great," he barked laughingly and after a friendly handshake, he nodded with his head towards the great hall, where everyone else were eating breakfast. James has been sitting with everyone else at the Gryffindor table and was already laughing heartily again. Lilli walked away from them towards the other end of the table when she suddenly felt two hands on her hips holding her back halfway, turning her around.
"Maybe I should explain to you what friendship means," Sirius voice surprisingly appeared next to her. "It means to not let the friend eat breakfast alone. Come on!"
"But -"
"No buts!" And in a blink of an eye, Lilli found herself sitting on the table between Sirius and James.
"Hello, Lilli," Remus smiled nicely.
Peter hadn't said a word and Melissa was also quiet or just grumbling a little bit next to them. She was probably the only one, shooting a shirty glance towards Lilli. Alice beamed at her, while Anna just twitched the corner of her mouth to a very gentle smile. James was very cordially towards her and winked to welcome her. It was the reaction of everyone but Melissa, that caused Lilli to smile kindly back. So, this was what their friendship felt like?