Single Dad
A/N: This is a totally AU Snape fic, in which Snape got the girl after all! I wanted it to be really light-hearted and funny, and I hit upon the idea of his life being more like a sitcom in which everything is always going wrong for him. So, enjoy!
'Severus...? Severus, are you awake?'
The soft voice that called him out from pleasant slumber was not an unwelcome one. Severus Snape, Potions master of Hogwarts and husband to quite possibly the loveliest woman in the world, opened his eyes to meet hers with a smile.
'I am now,' he replied, reaching up to tuck a strand of Lily Snape's red hair out of her face. 'What is it, my darling?'
'Did you forget to set your alarm clock? It's the first day of term!' Lily reminded him, pointing with a stern expression towards the time displayed in red digital letters on the bedside table. 'You're going to be late if you don't hurry up!'
Snape sat up with a jerk, rubbing his sleep-blurred eyes with one hand pushing his dark hair out of his face with the other. 'Why didn't you wake me?' he demanded, throwing back the covers in order to begin the hunt for his clothes.
'I was getting Harry ready, and packing his trunks with him,' Lily scolded with a cross expression. 'You said you had finished packing last night!'
Snape scowled at the mention of the youngster, as he nearly fell over trying to pull his socks on. 'I did,' he replied, annoyed. The little brat must have unpacked it again after he had left.
His relationship with Lily's son was not as good as it could have been. Not many people could pity him for the fact that he had to put up with the kid – after all, it had been his choice eleven years ago to take Lily back after she had been forced to confess that she had cheated on him with James Potter – but young Harry was almost a carbon copy of his father, and the sight of his face reminded him every day of his wife's former unfaithfulness. It would not have been as bad were it not for the fact that James had quite obviously schooled Harry in developing an intense hatred of his step-father, along with teaching him a few techniques in winding him up.
'Just get dressed, Severus, we have to take him to the train station so that he can go to school with all the other kids,' Lily told him, storming out of the room with an expression that clearly showed she believed Harry's version of events.
Snape collapsed back down onto the side of the bed for a moment after she had gone, double-checking the time and rubbing his tired face once more. He was not even going to have time for a shower, he realised, and his hair was already a little greasy. That was exactly the kind of first impression he wanted to make on a whole year of new students. Just perfect.
Finally dressed in long, dark robes that befitted his status as a professor at the school, he rushed downstairs for breakfast only to find Lily pacing backwards and forwards whilst she talked on her mobile telephone, a strange yet handy muggle device that she had taken to using in order to keep in touch with James. With Harry spending weekends with his father up until now, it had been necessary to keep in close contact; Snape could only hope that this new era signalled the beginning of James' removal from their life.
'What do you mean, late?' Lily snapped into the receiver, pushing her hair out of her face irritably. 'James, you can't - '
Snape watched her with interest as he crunched into a slice of dry toast, not bothering to add anything to it with the time constraints he was facing.
'What do you mean it's his – No, James, this is not – Don't you hang up on me, James Potter!' Lily continued, suddenly screeching into the phone and holding it away from her face to check the screen. From the angry, inarticulate noises she started to make, it was clear that James had done just that.
'Are you alright? I need to get going soon in order to meet the other professors,' Snape began, before Lily turned and launched the full force of her anger at him.
'Don't you dare move an inch from this house, Severus!' she insisted, tucking the phone into her pocket furiously and wagging a finger at him. 'James isn't coming, and someone is going to have to stand with Harry and be a father figure for his first day!'
Snape gaped at her for a moment. 'But – Lily – I'm supposed to meet the other heads of houses to discuss points this year, and...' he trailed off as her eyes began to light up with green fire. '... And it's clearly more important for me to be there for Harry than to fulfil my official duties, of course. I'll send an owl to Dumbledore right away.' He backpedalled hastily, going out to the back of the house and the three sleepy-looking owls who spent most of their time resting in a shed in the garden.
He wrote a quick and brief note that he hoped would excuse his absence – AD: Sorry, crisis with Potter. Students first. Catch up on meeting later. SS – and attached it to the most alert-looking owl with an apologetic look. Stirring its feathers as if to imply that it had been having a very nice sleep until you showed up, thank you very much, the owl gave a tremulous croak and finally lifted to its wings.
Satisfied that his work had been temporarily taken care of, Snape wandered back to the house and braced himself for another of his wife's demands. He loved her very much, but it was true what they said about redheads – you did not want to get in their way when they were angry. He winced at remembering how he had nearly lost her once, when they were younger... How James Potter had been the one to comfort her after they argued. He suppressed that memory with a shudder of annoyance, not wanting to bring back bad memories on a day like today.
'Oh, there you are, Severus, we really must go,' Lily exclaimed as he stepped back inside the house, flapping her hands at him to continue out through the front door. 'I've put yours and Harry's things in the car already, but we're going to be late if we don't leave now.'
Snape nodded and rushed outside, not wanting to waste any time in commenting on this when he knew it would only annoy her. He reached the side of the car, hesitating with his hand over the passenger seat door handle, when he realised that Harry was already sitting in the position he had intended to claim. The boy looked up at him with a rude little smile, pushing his glasses up his nose with an air of superiority.
'There's no time for that, Sev, just get in the back, for goodness' sake!' Lily exclaimed as she hurtled into the driver's seat. Being born to muggle parents, Lily understood muggle things like cars; though his mother had owned a car, Snape himself had never seen the point in learning how to control it when he fully intended to spend his life as part of the wizarding community. Lily, however, had noted the importance of getting around without attracting attention, and so she had become the family's designated driver. Fuming at the idea of having to sit in the back like a child, Snape did as he was told, cursing the smug look on Harry Potter's face. If any of the muggle or half-blood students saw him getting out of the back of the car when they arrived, he would never live it down.
In the front of the car, Lily and Harry engaged in a quickfire dialogue, Lily giving her son a last-minute checklist of everything he was supposed to have brought and all of the things she had told him to remember for his first term at Hogwarts. Snape idly watched the motorway pass by through the window, and wondered which house the child would be in. Preferably not his own, Slytherin; he would like to see him in Hufflepuff perhaps, or Ravenclaw. Something nice and quiet that would keep him out from under his step-father's feet. For a brief moment he wondered if transferring to Beuxbatons or Durmstrang for about seven years would not have been a better idea, but he dismissed it after a moment's consideration. He knew full well that there were no vacancies in the staff – he had checked at the start of the summer - and besides, it would mean no longer being able to hop onto a broom and head home to Lily for the night whenever he wanted.
They arrived at the King's Cross station rather too quickly for his liking, and soon they were piling out of the car and putting their trunks onto luggage trolleys in order to navigate the crowds and make it to Platform 9 ¾, though not before a rather unpleasant meeting happened almost immediately.
'Severus! You're back for another term, I see,' a voice rang out as they moved towards the edge of the car park, and Snape turned to see a smirking Lucius Malfoy.
The tall, blond wizard was dressed in a sharp pinstripe suit, obviously as part of his "muggle uniform" to ensure that he did not attract attention in the muggle station, but the series of small scars on the left side of his face were enough to ensure that he did not go unnoticed by the crowd. Snape remembered with a twinge, as he always did, that night twelve years ago when he had led the charge against the Death Eaters in order to save Lily and her unborn child. Somehow, Lucius had not only survived, but managed to integrate himself back into a position of power and respect amongst the wizard community. The man really was a weasel sometimes.
'Of course I am,' Snape replied, a little annoyed at the implication of surprise in Lucius' words. 'And your son starts this year, does he not?'
'The same as yours – oh, sorry; I mean James', of course,' Lucius replied, throwing the barb in deliberately. 'It seems you've been relegated to the child seat in his honour.'
Snape threw a backwards glance at the car and groaned inwardly. So someone had seen him getting out of the back after all. Just what he needed – some extra ammunition for the Lucius Malfoys of the world.
Before he could muster up a snappy retort they were inside the station, and rushing towards the correct platform. He checked the orange letters glowing from the nearest display board and began to push their trolley a little faster. Lily had been right – they were running behind quite badly. Various students that he recognised from the school were also rushing around them, and when they arrived at the right platform they had to queue behind a good number of families.
As they waited, Lily fussed and adjusted Harry's uniform neatly, going over a few key items again to really ensure that he had not forgotten them, and teasing some stray hairs into place with the finesse that only a mother's touch could provide. Meanwhile, the Malfoys pulled up behind them, and Lily immediately turned to get the two boys acquainted.
Before they even managed to get through the door, the two boys were already getting along like a house on fire. Great news, Snape thought. Another little monster recruited into the James Potter Army against him. He went to check the time on his wrist and realised with a groan that he had left his watch behind on the bedside table, where it was now sat uselessly ticking down the seconds and informing him of nothing at all.
'I want to be in Slytherin, like my father,' the precocious young Draco Malfoy was informing Harry loudly, who guffawed in return.
'I don't. That house is no good any more, with Snivellus in charge of it,' he replied with an air of knowing.
'Harry!' Lily scolded. 'That is no way to talk about your step-father.'
'But it's true,' he answered, with an air of innocence. 'Dad told me. He said that it should be a job for the Defence Against the Dark Arts tutor.'
Of course. Remus Lupin, his old enemy, who occupied a permanent position on the staff in the very job that Snape had always wanted for himself. It would be just wonderful to find his position as head of house usurped from under him by that hound, wouldn't it? There was no time to dwell on whether or not the threat was a serious one, however, as their place in the queue had come and Lily and Harry quickly melted through the wall in front of him, hand in hand.
Left alone with the luggage trolley, Snape took a deep breath and began to propel it at full speed towards the wall, just as Lucius shouted out some kind of mocking comment at him. Turning to look, Snape's aim was off; he hit the wall next to the platform and the trolley rebounded savagely, the handle hitting him in the gut and knocking him flat on his back.
'Oh dear,' Lucius pronounced above him, with a raised eyebrow and a supercilious expression. 'The professors at Hogwarts used to be so respected. Accio dignity, Severus.'
After a moment of feeling sorry for himself as the Malfoys elegantly drifted through the platform, Snape heaved himself into a sitting position. A hand appeared from nowhere and he took it without thinking, allowing the person to pull him to his feet, before looking up and realising who the owner was. Just when he thought this expedition could not get any worse.
'Hi, Sniv,' James Potter said, grinning in a self-satisfied manner. 'I managed to get here on time after all. Why don't you let me handle the manual labour, hmm?'