Okay, here's the next part! Thank you for the lovely words of encouragement those who reviewed gave me! This is kind of a transitional chapter, but it's important for the plot, so please enjoy and comment!

Warning: Hurting!Allen and some bad language

Other important fact: Marie isn't blind in this story!

Tarot Card Meaning: The chariot card is a card about struggle, may it be emotional or physical and a hard won battle that is needed in order to move forward.

THE CHARIOT

It was the late afternoon when Allen and Lenalee arrived back home with Miranda and Lavi from the studio. They were all excited about the prospect of tomorrow and the fact that they were going to finally meet Tyki.

"So what's the game plan concerning Big Red?" Lenalee asked Allen when the four of them sat down in the small sunroom in the back of the living room that had a view of the woods behind their house.

Miranda stood up to close the sliding doors of the sunroom, just in case Big Red was around. They all knew what Cross had in mind for their band and it wasn't that they weren't happy with the opportunity, but they did feel they had cause to be a little weary of the offer since Komui had warned them about Cross maybe doing this so he could be closer to Allen.

"I just don't get why now!" Allen whispered, letting his head fall back against the back of the couch he was sitting on.

"Maybe he's come to realize how much you mean to him, Allen," Miranda said softly, leaning against the closed door with her hands on her back. "I don't want to defend him, but seen your history it's not strange to see him act this way…"

"You don't realize what you have until it's gone," Lavi agreed. "In this case, almost gone."

"If you really think that things will work out with Tyki, you have to tell Cross that now, Allen," Lenalee said with a nod, sliding down the arm of the couch to sit next to him. "Otherwise you'll be stringing the both of them along, which is unfair."

"But who's to say the man is actually in love with Allen?" Lavi said with a shrug. "We're only going on speculations here."

"He's right." Lenalee placed her hand on Allen's head when he scooted closer and leaned in against her. "You have to figure out what it is he really wants from you," she whispered softly, brushing his hair back a bit.

Allen sighed. "This is supposed to be easy, isn't it?"

Miranda shook her head and kneeled in front of him with a comforting smile. "We make it sound that way don't we? But we know it isn't and you will have to do it sooner or later."

Lavi cocked his head to the side from his sitting position on a reversed chair. "No other way out of this one, Al."

Allen sat up and leaned forwards with his head in his hands. "You're right you guys, but what if Cross takes away the proposition he made to Komui?"

"It would hurt our pride to think he only did it so he could be close to you and not because of our talent…" Lavi said with a grimace.

"Do you really think he'd do something like this?" Miranda asked Allen.

Allen closed his eyes and chuckled humorlessly. "The man is capable of a lot of despicable things, trust me…" He then stood up and took a breath. "I think he must be up stairs. I guess I'll go find him. Come find me when Marie and Kanda get here."

Lenalee jumped off the couch and pulled her hair into a short ponytail. "I'll get started on dinner."

"I'll help," Miranda offered following her out of the sunroom.

"I'll keep you guys company," Lavi said, standing from his chair and giving Allen a shoulder tap and a grin when the girls laughed in the distance.

Allen chuckled softly and then made his way to the hallway and the stairs.

The sound of an acoustic guitar playing greeted him when he got on the second floor of the house, which was entirely his own and consisted out of two rooms; a small lounge room and his bedroom and en-suite bathroom.

He recognized the melody and found himself smiling in front of his door in the hallway. He knew that if he kept listening, that he'd lose the will to push through, so he softly knocked and turned the doorknob.

Cross was sitting near the sole window of the lounge room in the black easy chair he'd bought himself on one of his past visits. His right ankle was resting on his left thigh, the guitar rested in his lap. He'd changed in to dark sweatpants and a muscle shirt, his naked feet moving to the rhythm of the song he was playing.

Allen closed the door softly and sat down on the red sofa near the entrance, wanting to listen to the song. It was the first song Cross had ever taught him how to play. He'd mastered it over the years, both on his guitar and on the piano, but Cross still made it sound far better than he ever could.

"How did the rest of the rehearsal go?"

Allen looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah, it went great."

Cross was still playing, his fingers dancing over the fretboard steadily as he plucked the strings of the instrument gently. "Did Komui tell you the news?"

"Yeah." Allen stood. "He did." He walked over to him and kneeled next to him on the floor, giving him a questioning look. "Why did you make such an offer, Marian?"

"Why did you snuck out of bed this morning, Allen?" Cross asked calmly, still playing.

Allen had dreaded that question and now that at it had been asked he still hadn't found an answer that would satisfy both him and Cross. He closed his eyes and rested his head on top of his folded arms on the arm of the chair, not answering.

The song neared its end and when it ended there was a silence in which they both didn't say anything.

It was actually a bit sad that in all those years that they'd known each other they never took the time to learn how to talk to each other.

And because of this, misunderstandings easily grew and were left unresolved with festering issues as a direct consequence.

"Did you fuck him?"

Allen's head shot up at that; not because of the bluntness of the question, but because Cross' voice had sounded so small. Almost hurt.

What was wrong with this picture?

Cross was looking at him silently, waiting for an answer.

"No," Allen replied softly, keeping his eyes locked with his to prove his sincerity.

Before he even had the time to blink, Cross kissed him, softly yet persistently, his left hand resting against Allen's face.

Allen could only stare at him when Cross sat back, his heart beating hard and fast in his chest. It'd been a long time since Cross had kissed him like that.

"Why…?" Allen whispered, taken aback by the rush of feelings he suddenly felt for the man and at the same time hating him for it. His throat clenched up and he could feel tears coming up. "Why?" he asked again, a bit more forcefully this time, wanting to blame him for making him feel so guilty and helplessly scared of what he was feeling.

Cross looked at him pensively, but didn't say anything. It wasn't that he was at a loss for words, but he hated feeling this exposed and unsure. For a brief second he realized that perhaps they were both feeling the exact same thing in that one moment. He sighed, "Your presence isn't an excuse for me to want Black Order in the tour. It's more the other way around,' he explained, averting his eyes.

Allen exhaled, feeling partly relieved, and partly more frustrated. Why the hell was it so hard for this man to just say what he felt?

"Black Order has become good enough to handle an opening act and because of that it gives me the opportunity to be here more."

To be with you more. Allen smiled and snorted at first, but felt like crying again the next moment.

Oh for crying out loud…

"Marian… I—"

"And then perhaps, if your careers take off for good we could give you a definitive contract with 14th Records, the same label as Delete's."

Allen realized all too well that Cross was stalling and it dawned on him that Cross knew what he wanted to say and yet…

Was he perhaps scared as well? Of what?

Allen decided that it was now or never.

"I love you," he whispered shakily, willing his tears to stay at bay.

Cross closed his eyes, placed the guitar on the floor next to him and pushed himself out of the chair, moving towards the bedroom on the left. He stopped in the doorway for a moment, wanting to say something, but deciding against it.

Allen got on his feet and ran to the door, grabbing him by an arm. "What is it, this thing between us? Tell me, Marian!" he whispered tearfully. "Is it worth pursuing or not? Because I can't do what we're doing now for another ten years!"

There was a silence and then Cross pulled his wrist out of Allen's grasp. "Fine," was all he said, walking over to the bathroom and shutting the door.

Allen sunk to the floor in disbelieve, hitting the back of his head against the doorframe as twin tears fell down his cheeks quietly.

Laughter and the smell of oven cooked chicken and fried vegetables greeted him when he entered the kitchen half an hour later. He'd changed in more comfortable clothing by then and washed his face in Lenalee's bathroom on the first floor to hide the fact that he'd been crying not so long before.

"Hey you guys are here!" Allen said, putting up a cheerful smile when he saw both Marie and Kanda sitting around the kitchen island.

"Hey, Allen!" Marie greeted, lifted his big right hand for a shake.

"It's so good to see you, Marie! It's been way too long." Allen grinned when he was pulled into a brotherly hug by the bigger man.

"Same here," Marie smiled back.

Next to him sat Kanda who barely looked up at him and instead grunted a derisive; "Walker."

It'd been almost four years now, but apparently Kanda still hadn't forgiven Allen for gluing his ass to his chair once in high school. They'd never really gotten along over the years, but Kanda had been part of their clique for more than 7 years and there was an unspoken bond between them that couldn't be replaced.

That and of course, the fact that Kanda secretly loved Lenalee.

Allen grinned as he walked past the new owner of the new martial arts dojo downtown. "Mr Tight Ass," he greeted.

"What did you say?" Kanda replied with an angry scowl.

Allen leaned into him as if to kiss him, smiling at his surprised expression as he reached for a grape from the fruit bowl on the island. "Relax Yu," he murmured softly, "it was in no way meant as a compliment." He laughed and pulled back. "Sheesh, you're so easy!"

Both Lenalee and Lavi chuckled and Allen jumped away from Kanda's grappling hands. "Whoops, sorry. Didn't mean for it to come out that way, my bad!"

Kanda stood up from his stool and growled. "You stupid son of a—"

"Kanda!" Lenalee sternly said, "Not in my house!"

Kanda grunted and rolled his eyes. "Then keep him on a leash, Lee!"

"Maybe you're the one who should be put on a leash, with that temper of yours Ba-Kanda*! My house, my rules!" she yelled back.

"Well, your rules suck ass, woman!" he hollered in turn.

Lenalee put her hands on her hips. "Maybe so, but they're still mine!"

Allen sat down in the cane chair by the frosted glass wall and watched the scene with an amused smile.

"How long do you think it'll take for them to realize?" Lavi asked, leaning against the sink near Allen.

"That they actually love each other? Who knows?" Allen shrugged, "It's been like this for years already, I've sort of given up hope." His eyes rolled towards Marie and Miranda as he said that, watching her sit herself in his lap and laughing when he kissed her in her neck. Her engagement ring glistened in the overhead lights when she reached for his face over her shoulder and kissed his lips lovingly.

Allen averted his gaze with a smile and looked at Lenalee and Kanda who were still fighting, now by the stove. Lenalee was waving a wooden spoon threateningly in front of her while Kanda was staring her down with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Sorry I didn't come and get you like promised, but I had a feeling you'd want some time alone," Lavi softly said, hands in his pockets. "From the way your eyes are slightly swollen and red in the corners, I think I was right to do so…"

"I told him I loved him and he reacted just the way I knew he would, if not worse," Allen whispered, pulling his feet up on the low chair and resting his chin on his knees. "He assured me he made the business offer based on our talent though."

Lavi dismissed that last bit and scrunched down next to him. "So are you two broken up or…?"

Allen looked at him and shrugged. "I want to think so… The thing that hurt me the most was the way he pretended not to care. And yet I…" he took a steadying breath and chuckled dejectedly. "I need to move forwards. I'm tired of hurting over him."

"That's going to be hard with him now being here and all…"

Allen nodded, "But Tyki is going to be around. I hope. If he and I can make it work Cross shouldn't be a problem anymore." He looked up at his friend when he noted his silence. "I know what you must be thinking but it isn't anything like that. I really like Tyki."

"Enough to maybe love him one day?"

Allen nodded without a second thought. "Yeah."

"Then if you're sure about it, I'm 100% with you," Lavi said, raising his right thumb.

Allen grinned happily. "Thanks Lav-Lav," he whispered.

Lavi chuckled. "That's what you used to call me in pre-school!"

"I still like it," Allen said playfully, shrugging.

"Fine, just don't say it when I'm in company of women."

Allen laughed.

"Alright everyone! Grab a dish, plates or cutlery and move to the dinner room!" Lenalee exclaimed, taking off her apron and hanging it away.

Everyone moved into action and grabbed said items from the isle and cutlery cupboards.

"Allen, is Cross coming?" Lenalee asked.

"I'll go get him," Lavi offered, walking off into the hall.

Allen grabbed the bowl of mashed potatoes; Lenalee took the one with the fresh salad. "Everything alright?" she whispered so only he could hear.

"It will be," Allen replied, chuckling when Lenalee gave him a playful elbow push to his side.

"Where will you be staying?" Allen asked from his sitting position on his bed. He was watching Cross pack his travel bag now; dinner had been over for hours and all their guests had left.

"At the Ark Hotel down at Innocence Beach," Cross replied, zipping up his bag and coming to sit next to Allen.

Tender lips fell on his forehead and Allen closed his eyes, reaching for Cross' jacket with both his hands and holding on.

Cross held him close, smiling into his hair. "I won't be far, Allen. I never intend to be again."

Allen blushed at that and snorted. So now he chose to express his feelings? He lifted his head and kissed him a last time, taking his face in his hands gently. Their foreheads rested against each other after the kiss, Allen looking down at his hands that took hold of his jacket again for comfort and Cross looking at his lowered eyelids and hands wordlessly. After a moment Allen let go and Cross stood, took his bag from the floor and left the room.

Lenalee entered his room not much later, having waited behind the door to his rooms for Cross to come out. She sat down on the bed next to him and took him in her arms when he leaned into her.

"Sleep here tonight?"

She closed her eyes at the teary tone of his voice and nodded. "You don't even have to ask," she whispered back, pulling the covers from the bed behind them and settling with him between the sheets a few moments later, holding him close to her heart.

*Ba-Kanda: I took this one from the anime(non dub). For those who don't watch it, it's a contraction of the word 'baka' (idiot, stupid in japanese) and 'Kanda'. So it means Stupid Kanda. I loved that one tehee!

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ToBeContued...

-BDP-