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Kakashi felt black. Was that even possible? Well…that was what he felt. He also saw black. But it wasn't because he was in some state of consciousness where he is waking up from a deep, disturbingly vague dream that left him clueless as to what the previous events were. He was blindfolded.

He tried to move, but found that he was bound to a chair.

"No. Not…S&M" Kakashi began to struggle. There was only one thing left to do…he would have to chew through his own stomach to escape the bindings; of course he forgot that he was trained ninja and that he was able to escape from much worse situations. He was about to bare his teeth…when he remembered that he still had his mask on.

"Okay then…first the mask…then the sinew and organs." He started to work on his mask, and had succeeded in tearing through a thread, when he heard the squeak of a door. "Who's there?" He did not want to take part in those two freaks sick fantasies.

"Kakashi?" A familiar voice reached his ears.

'O, thank god. Someone slightly sane.' "Allison! Help!"

He heard Allison still. Then a maniacal chuckle. "You just wait right there…I'll go get my whip." He heard fast paced footsteps run out the room, and then return. "I forgot. I left them by the poker behind you." He felt her near him, and soon she was close enough for him to feel the soft brush of her hair against his face. "Aha!" She jumped back and he heard the crack of leather against the floor.

"HELL NO!" He began to thrash in his bindings, hoping that by sheer will alone he would be able to break free.

"No?" Allison sounded a little put out. "What about handcuffs?"

"…no."

"Leather thong?"

"Hell no."

"…chocolate syrup?"

Kakashi seemed to think about this for a moment. "Hm. I'm on a diet…low cal?"

"No…double fudge."

"BACK THE HELL AWAY FROM ME BITCH!"

Kakashi threw himself back so hard that he ended up tilting backwards in the chair, and eventually fell over, banging his head hard against the concrete.

"Hn." He grunted.

"Kakashi?"

Kakashi slowly turned his head towards the voice. "How is it that you are one of the best ninjas ever, and can't escape from a simple rope and defeat two yaoi-crazed girls?"

"Because that's how it works." Kakashi answered, his head pounding from the curse of the evil floor.

"Kakashi?"

'The bitch is still talking?' "WHAT?"

He felt Allison cringe at his raised voice. "What's that on your chest?"

"Hm…you know what…I think it is…huh…you know what I just remembered? I'm FREAKING BLINDFOLDED!"

Kakashi was through. Hentai Holy Grail be damned. He had had enough. He spent the entire day being molested, dealing with a pasta crazed freak and her two freaky friends, bound and blindfolded, assaulted by a floor and now was being asked dumb-ass questions. He was done.

Kakashi hung his head in defeat. "Could you please just…untie me?"

There was silence. He was about to ask again when her felt the blindfold being pulled away from his eyes. He blinked a few times to get used to the bright light. The first object that he was able to focus on was Allison's worried face looking at him…only 6 inches away.

"GYAAA!"

"Your gonna have a nasty knot on the back of your head." She murmured feeling around the back of his head, gently prodding at his skull. "Want an ice pack?"

Kakashi looked at the girl and was about to yell at her for having the nerve to held a small injury, but putting him through hell. But he couldn't. Not with the concern on her face. "Nah."

"M'kay. Brace yourself." She reached up behind his head and grabbed the back of the chair. Pulling into an upright position she stood back and loomed over him. "Kakashi…we need to talk."

Oh god. The dreaded four words that every man would rather withstand torture than have to deal with those four words. It meant that feelings would be shared and they would have to talk…which he really didn't want to do. But Kakashi quickly reminded himself that those four words were only the devil's words if he were in a relationship with Allison, and it is a proven fact that he was not.

"First is…you have a note on your chest saying "Screw me…I'm Irish."

Kakashi whipped his head down and saw a piece of cheap looking paper taped to his chest with those crude words written in a messy scrawl.

"Well…that's new."

Allison sighed and looked at Kakashi with pity. "You met my friends right? Alicia and Dana."

Kakashi shuddered as he remembered the rabid girls. He thought that they were on his side of the Sanity Meter. "Traitors." He spat.

"Yes, those are the ones. Well Dana has a unique kind of jutsu."

"Can I copy it?" Kakashi asked. He just loved learning new jutsus.

"No. Not because you can't…but because you can't. You know the whole 'Scream and Attack' thing she does?"

Kakashi nodded.

"It's a jutsu that impairs on the ears, which messes with the nerves in the brain. And then she is able to manipulate how far she pulls you into her jutsu by adjusting her tone accordingly." Allison stated solemnly.

"Huh?" Kakashi was confused.

"It knocks you out. But she knows how to prolong it. She could have screamed two hours ago and you would just be feeling the effects now. It's difficult to explain. If you want to know more then ask Dana."

"No." Kakashi did not want to be near the banshee anymore.

Allison chuckled. "And that is why you can't copy the jutsu. One…you don't know which screams are jutsu screams. Two…you can't reach those notes unless…"Allison trailed off and looked at a very private part of Kakashi. "And you might have been knocked out by her voice before you could even figure out what she was doing."

Kakashi nodded in agreement. "Shouldn't she be from sound?"

Allison laughed. "Oh she is. But then she met some guy from Rock country and fell in love and went with him. His name is…Daradei? No…Dreida? No…"

"DEIDARA?" Kakashi' mind was reeling. Was she the girlfriend of the S-class-anbu who works with Akatsuki?

"Don't judge. But yes…that is his name." Allison snickered. She just loved surprising people. "And as for Alicia…she's kind of…different."

Oh yes…Kakashi definitely remembered that girl.

"Well…she likes getting into peoples head. Like the Yamanaka's. But she is a bit more…sadistic with it. She treats her gift more like a puzzle than a weapon. A play thing."

Kakashi eyes widened. This was the girl he thought was sane?

"And she can manipulate the mind. Like take away memories or add them. I remember one time waking up thinking that I had to go save the world and my name was 'Pastagal' and that the other day I had defeated the evil lord who tried to take over the world named 'Ramenator'." Allison laughed at this memory.

"Did she do something to my mind?!" Kakashi was in shock. She was worse than Itachi!

"No…well…not something I wouldn't have approved of anyway." Allison mumbled the last part. Before Kakashi could say anything she cut in and said "But she saw your thoughts."

"And."

"You were only being nice to me because of the Hentai Holy Grail." Allion narrowed her eyes.

'I'm dead'. Kakashi didn't even have the will to deny it. "Yea? So what? It's the Hentai Holy Grail! I should be able to see it! I am a Kight of the Hentai Holy Grail and I deserve to see it!" Kakashi continued to rant about how worthy he was.

"You know you could have asked." Allison stated casually as she walked out of the room. "I'll go get it."

Kakashi's eye widened. He…he was finally going to see the Hentai Holy Grail!! Kakashi prepared himself mentally to be in the presence of such an esteemed object. When Allison returned she held a wooden box in her hand. She at down on her knees in front of him and placed the box on the floor.

Kakashi cringed. Something so precious should not be on the floor of such a place. But then he remembered something. "Didn't you say no before?"

Allison shrugged. "Yes…but you didn't ask in the right way."

Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his eye. "And what is the right way to ask?

"So glad you asked! All you have to do is bargain."

"What do you want?"

Allison grinned. "I want you to go on a date with me tomorrow. For the whole day. And you have to wear black spandex shorts with pasta patterns on it. I have a pair in your size."

The girl was creepy. But he wanted to see the Hentai Holy Grail. He yearned for it. And if it meant that the only thing between him and the Grail was this girl, then he would brave the humility of pasta-spandex and a date with the thing from Hell in order to obtain his dream.

"Fine."

Allion's eyes lit up. "Okay." She snapped her fingers and the bindings on his torso disappeared. She got up and walked out the door. But right before she left she said "All that glitters is not gold." And she shut the door; a maniac grin on her face. She was probably planning the next day and was making sure to incorporate chocolate syrup and leather in it.

Kakashi looked at the box placed before him. Now that he was closer to it, he saw something etched in eloquent script on the lid.

It read: Only the worthy may be blessed with the most coveted object on the planet. Millions have searched for it and few have uncovered it. Those who have decided to pass down this knowledge to those who deserve it. Enjoy, worthy Knight, the Hentai Holy Grail.

Kakashi reached towards the lid with shaky hands. He took a deep breath and lifted the lid off. He peered into the box and lifted the object out. Actually, there were many. He looked at all of them until he had had enough and closed his eyes. His reaction was great. He threw his eye open wide and his mouth gaped. His face turned red and his breath came short.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kakahsi cried before running out of the room in search for the demon he had jut sold his soul to. As he did so he dropped the Holy Grail. That was not the Grail. That could not possibly be what millions have sought to uncover. It had to be a hoax.

Back in the room the Holy Grail fluttered to the floor with grace. On it… were pictures of Kakashi, from his childhood, to pictures that seemed fairly recent…like he just had a date with Allison and one picture had him laughing at her recent. And his mask was down because he was eating. In fact, all of the pictures showed his face.

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"Do you think we did a good job?" Alicia asked Dana. The two were sitting on the roof of Ecchi Paradise, watching as Allison was chased out of the store by Kakashi.

"Yes. His face is the most coveted thing ever. And it is one of the sexiest. Besides Deidara of course."

Alicia snorted. "You mean Gaara."

"No…Deidara."

Alicia glared at her friend. "Gaara."

"Deidara."

"Gaara."

"Deidara."

"GAARA!"

"DEIDARA!!!"

They launched at each other. In the middle of the brawl a camera fell from someone's pocket and landed on the ground of the road. And it just so happened that Amane was walking by and saw the silver camera glinting in the light. She picked it up and turned it on. She was assaulted by pictures of Kakashi…naked!

"Hehehe. I can have fun with this." She laughed and headed home…thinking of ways to sell the thing people coveted most for a very high price.

Fin.

Did you like it? Did you hate it? I wanna know! So read and review. Go to DLAYCOMICS on Deviantart for pics for the story made by Dana and Allison and was inspired by me Alicia!