A/N: Thank you everybody for your support. Since some of the comments were connected to some specific points, I'm just going to clear some things up, if you're not interested, please continue to the chapter :)
On Odin: I don't think he's cruel for the sake of being cruel, but he has proven over and over again that he's king first and father second, so while he may feel some personal remorse for his upbringing of Loki (and the mistakes he made), he's beyond trying to save him as his father and therefore all that is left is a plan that backfired, a dangerous person that needs dealing with.
On the whipping (thanks to Misplaced Matches for your point!) - I don't feel the need to make this story more macabre than it needs to be and the "lightness" of the punishment had its reasons. I don't actually see the amount of the lashes as very high (Loki is a god afterall) and as I was trying to hint before, Loki has been through a lot of torture and a lot of other ordeals that however had a very strong psychological side. This whipping had none of that and it's much easier to get through pain if you're not, in fact, afraid. Also... this chapter is called "The change in the game," so we'll see how the next part of the punishment goes, muhaha.
Also thanks to everybody who wished me luck on my exams, I passed philosophy today and it's holiday for me now! So lots of updates coming :)
Loki was awoken by a strange sensation. His body was burning up, but at the same time he felt a mysterious relief shifting slowly all over his back. Something cold and wet was being gently pressed on his, as he realized, reopened wounds. He didn't move, trying to decide his next actions. Last night when Thor came in, he was too drained to protest and now was blaming himself for being so vulnerable. Naked and bloodied, he was getting petted like a kitten.
„I didn't realize my punishment was up. It's quite early in the morning," he told Thor venomously without looking at him. The soothing movement over his back stilled.
„What?" asked Thor casually enough, not yet responding with temper to his brother's comment.
„You are trying to torture me, correct? Because that's certainly what it feels like."
Thor sighed and moved of the bed.
„Your wounds reopened during the night. You didn't stay laying on your stomach and kept writhing around," he informed Loki briskly.
„And yet," yawned Loki, gingerly getting up. „it took you pawning over to make me actually feel the pain."
Thor slammed the bowl and cloth he was using on Loki's back on one of the several tables that lined the walls in Loki's room. The bloodied water splashed out and covered some books and papers that were spread messily on top.
„And now you move on to ruin my things," commented Loki, still standing near the bed, naked. He meant to get dressed, but for now was fully concentrating on staying on his feet. He got up too quickly and was experiencing a rather nasty dizzy spell. „You really should just leave."
Thor stared at some remote point on the floor. He was unusually immune to Loki's quips.
„Actually," he spoke heavily, „it's not that early. I had already left and then I came back. You slept right through it."
It sounded like a ridiculously mundane piece of information, but Loki wasn't fooled. Nervousness and unhappiness was practically pouring out of every pore of Thor. That, and he was stalling.
„There was need to... specify the conditions of your punishment," he finally spoke.
Apprehension dawned on Loki. „Council isn't playing very fair, now, are they?"
„I'm afraid the Council has nothing to do with it," replied Thor, finally looking up and meeting Loki's gaze. „Your punishment wasn't changed, but father had some say in how it will go."
„Oh for gods' sake, Thor, just tell me," exploded Loki, tired of Thor's fidgeting behaviour. „What is it? Palace arrest wasn't specific enough, so I am to go live in some cupboard instead of these chambers?"
„No. It's about the whipping. It won't be like it was yesterday. Father claims to see no need for it to be so public."
Loki raised his eyebrows. It hadn't been public. Only the Council and the royal family had been present.
„So...? " he started to inquire further, but the words froze on his lips.
„I am to do it."
Loki was speechless, emotions colliding in him in one chaotic mess. Thor. Thor was to deliver his whipping. Anger. Betrayal. Shock. Fear. Anticipation. Disgust.
He shook his head slightly, trying to get a grasp of the situation. He rested his hand on the bedpost to keep his balance.
„You take no pleasure in this," he remarked when he looked up, seeing Thor utterly miserable.
"Of course I don't!" answered Thor fiercely.
"So why is Odin making you do it?" questioned Loki, but half-knowing the answer already.
"I have no answer to that," stated Thor, fidgeting with one of Loki's quills.
"He's mad at you," pushed Loki. "This isn't about me. The executioner yesterday was no light-weight. It's not about finding the person who can hit me the hardest."
Thor put the quill down for fear of breaking it. "Isn't it though?" he said thoughtfully.
"You're being philosophical, Thor. It doesn't become you," told him Loki slightly dismissively. "I'm going to wash this blood off before you get on with your noble task and if it's not too much trouble, call for some food. I'm starving."
With that, he turned around and slammed the door of his bathroom behind him with relief. He desperately needed to regroup. For several brief moments after he woke up, he was determined to have it with Thor, to show him that he wasn't defeated, and that he was ready to fight for his position. To show him contempt and hate and then, when Thor finally left him alone, he would be free to figure out his future, his options, especially regarding avoidance of the Chitauri wrath. But instead, he was faced with the prospect of sharing something unbelievably disturbing and intimate with him. How can two people, with enough issues already, face a situation like that? Loki was reminded of the gentle way Thor took off his restrains when he came to visit him in his cell. He then too, had to contemplate ambivalence of his feelings.
Is it better to love or hate your captor?
He mechanically set to the task of washing himself, though there was little point. He would definitely want it to be over soon, which meant he would be covered in blood again shortly.
He exited the bathroom with cloth firmly secured around his hips. He didn't feel like going through the ordeal with pants like the day before, but nudity wasn't too tempting either.
There were several plates filled with Loki's favourite food on one of the tables. He grabbed a clean plate, filled it with some fruit, bread and cheese and took it to bed, since he would be most comfortable sitting cross-legged there. Thor watched him silently.
"You know," he spoke to Thor after a while, getting slightly annoyed by listening to only his own chewing. "Unless I'm also to be starved and that food is my month's supply, be so kind and get some too and stop staring at me."
Thor ignored this. "Tell me about all the scars you have. Why did the Chitauri torture you?"
Loki stopped mid-chew. Way to ruin a meal. He put the plate on the side.
"They didn't know who I was or what use I could be."
"How long have you actually been there?" Thor asked hesitantly, fearing the answer.
"Longer," said Loki simply. Thor got up and started pacing, clearly disrupted.
Loki thought about eating some more, but his appetite was gone.
"Shall we do it then?" he asked, forcedly maintaining air of nonchalance.
"But-" Started Thor, but Loki cut him off resolutely.
"I will not bear with your snivelling any longer. I want it over. So if you're truly as sympathetic as you have been hinting, you will remember that it's actually me who's about to get skin torn of his back, again, and you will do it now and quickly."
Thor looked deeply ashamed. "Of course. I, uhm, I have to chain you."
Loki nodded and looked around for a suitable place. Part of the wall to his left was free of any bookshelves and there was a chandelier that the chains could be attached to, though only nominally. Not that he was about run away.
Thor put Loki's wrists into cuffs (that he had apparently brought before along with the whip and hid them out of sight. Loki was weirdly amused by this) and not too carefully wrapped the chain around the chandelier.
"I'm sorry. I can't hold back. Heimdall is under orders to watch and if I do, we'll have to repeat it," explained Thor apologetically, still not ready to begin despite Loki's wishes.
"Well I hope you perform well enough then," Loki said through gritted teeth. He heard Thor take a deep breath and steeled himself for the blow.
When it came, he wasn't able to stop the scream. He had been wrong in thinking that the executioner wasn't much weaker than Thor and what more, his back was in bad state already. He felt the fire deep in his skin, threatening to consume him whole. This was definitely much, much worse than the first time.
Thor crushed the handle in his slightly sweaty palm. He couldn't quite believe that he was doing this. Loki's back was already full of bleeding, deep gashes, on top of closed wounds that covered his whole body (which he could very well see during the previous night, as well as now, with only small cloth covering Loki). He struck again, trying and failing to block out Loki's, this time more controlled, whimper. He tried very hard to concentrate on the count, since it wouldn't be good to lose track and give him more, or worse, give him less which he was sure would result in full repetition.
When he reached twenty, he paused briefly, the pain of seeing Loki slumped against the wall, sweat pouring of him almost gutting him.
His beloved brother was paying for crimes that weren't his. He was paying for being different. He was paying for Odin's mistake in bringing him to Asgard and lying to him is whole life. He was paying because he, Thor, still loved him, even though he was now considered a useless nuisance by Odin.
Loki was in no state to ponder about the reasons for Thor's role in this anymore, except for the occasional cursing of his brother strength. With each blow he felt like he was going to be split in half. He lost count around fifteen and vaguely hoped that Thor didn't.
"Just two more," he heard Thor murmur after what seemed like an eternity. When those two were over, he rushed to free him.
"Do you want to lie down or do you want to bathe?" asked Thor worriedly, trying to figure out how to support Loki, who was almost unable to stay on his feet, without hurting him further. He opted for putting one of Loki's arms behind his neck and letting him lean heavily on him.
"Bed," gasped Loki faintly. It was much closer. Thor complied and soon Loki was stretched on the sheets with some relief. Absurdly, he was feeling a tickling sensation on his sides from the blood drips. He laughed humourlessly.
Thor hurried to fill the bowl with clean water and upon settling on the bed next to Loki, he carefully poured in a healing infusion that his mother had given him. He had already used it this morning, but this time he decided that much bigger dose was needed.
"What is it?" asked Loki who had seen the motion through half-closed eyes.
"Mother's medicine," answered Thor.
"I can heal myself, you know," couldn't help a bit defiance Loki.
"You mean like you healed all your scars and the wounds from yesterday?" retorted Thor, his tone not hurtful, but Loki winced anyway. Anything he might have said in response however fled his mind as soon as the wet cloth touched his back.
"Ugh..." he let out. The relief was immediate. Thor managed a smile upon hearing that.
"This is how I know you were lying to me this morning. It did feel nice, because of the medicine at least," he teased.
"I always lie to you, Thor," sighed Loki.
"Well, you shouldn't. At least for now," chided him Thor. For a while, Loki withdrew from the conversation, enjoying the soothing feeling. Thor let him, but there was still something on his mind.
"How is it possible that you didn't know whether you had wanted the Destroyer to kill me or not?"
"It was an unprecedented situation in my life," answered Loki.
Thor laughed shortly. "I'm sure that you would be able to kill me if you put your mind to it at any point in our lives."
"I don't mean being in position to kill you," said Loki irritably. "I mean the power."
Thor was silent and thoughtful for a bit. "I understand that. I used to be power-hungry too and I had some form of power my whole life. Having it so suddenly must be even more trying."
Now Loki had to laugh at his brother's self-important statement.
"You still are power-hungry, you idiot. Just because you got slapped over your fingers and decided that it is not attractive to flip Mjölnir in the air or brag about your battles all night any more does not mean that you are not waiting eagerly to be the king."
Thor shrugged. "I have other reasons to want the throne than just to feel the power. How does your back feel? It's not bleeding anymore."
"It's better," admitted Loki and after some hesitation added: "Thank you."
"No need to thank me, I was the one who did it, after all."
"Right," grimaced Loki, slowly sitting up and resuming his cross-legged position. Thor made no movement to get off the bed.
"Also," started Loki, picking up an apple and playing with the stem absent-mindedly. "I was jealous."
Thor appeared confused. He knew Loki had just jumped back to some part of their conversation, but he didn't know which.
"Of what?" he asked carefully. For a minute, it seemed that Loki wasn't going to answer.
"That woman. She seemed awfully attached to you. Which is surprising since you weren't there that long," explained Loki casually, his fidgeting with the apple betraying his calm façade.
"We had goals that pertained to similar places and actions. I was rather... charmed by her midgardian ways. She was also very close to understanding the structure of the Nine Realms, which most humans aren't."
"Hm. How did you meet her anyway?" continued Loki his probing.
"Right after I got there... she hit me with a... car. You know, their means of transport."
That got some reaction from Loki. He looked at Thor disbelievingly. "What? Why?"
"It was an accident. She then did it one more time," laughed Thor. It sounded very silly when spoken out loud and apparently, so thought Loki, who was however trying to suppress his laughter, since it caused him some pain.
"I'm surprised you brought that up, though," said Thor more seriously after they were finished with their amusement.
"Oh, do not try that. You were more than ready to talk about our past when you were trying to interrogate me back on Midgard," answered Loki unhappily.
Thor leaned forward, putting his hand over Loki's where it rested on the bed.
"I was not trying to trick you or use it against you."
Loki looked away, though he didn't flinch away from Thor's touch. He felt himself slip into a memory.
There was a huge Yule celebration and even though he found himself discontent in the presence of his brother and their friends lately, he was just as merry as everyone else on this evening. He laughed at Thor's inelegant jokes, amused everybody with sparks of colours that he was sending out from his palms and drank a lot of wine with cinnamon and clove.
Well after midnight, he and Thor headed back to their respective chambers, singing, laughing and leaning on each other in a way that was bound to send them crashing to the ground any moment, since they were both so inebriated. They were almost at Loki's door in the palace wing that was more or less reserved for the two of them when Thor tripped and fell, pulling Loki down with him.
"Oof," let out Thor, Loki's weight resting on him. "You are very clumsy on this fine evening, brother."
He had not yet perceived the change in Loki's mood. Loki was suddenly breathless, hotness spreading on his face. He had been dealing with most disturbing feelings in the past weeks and with his reservations greatly erased by the wine, he was about to act very rashly. He made no move to get up and looked into Thor's face intensely. Thor returned his gaze, not exactly sobering, but definitely catching on. Loki watched Thor's hand hesitatingly move up to his face, rough fingers touching Loki's cheek gently and then continuing to thread through his hair. Encouraged, Loki lowered his head and pressed his lips to Thor's. His whole world was spinning, with only the slightly rough, slightly bitter feeling of the kiss anchoring him.
"Of course you weren't. You hardly could without exposing yourself too and I think we both know that they were all listening," answered Loki, snapping out of his reverie.
Thor smiled. "I think we might just have to agree to disagree on this. But no matter, I doubt we will visit Midgard any time soon."
A knock on the door interrupted their calm session.
"Yes?" called out Thor when Loki didn't react. A guard entered.
"His majesty Odin wishes to see you," he told Thor and exited with a slight bow.
Thor sighed.
"Will you be all right here?"
Loki made a face. "I am not an invalid, Thor. You run along to Father, I will entertain myself."
Thor rolled his eyes. "Fine. Be nasty. I will come see you in the evening."
He left with a little smile and Loki let out a breath.
"Please don't," he murmured to the empty room.