Chapter Four

I muddled through my morning classes on Monday, but by lunchtime I was dead on my feet. I seriously considered skipping the afternoon lectures when I encountered Jasper.

"You okay, Bella? You look like crap."

"Gee, thanks, Jazz," I pouted, but I couldn't help the wide grin that spread across my face when he flung his arms around me.

"Is it that bad?" he asked pulling away to search my eyes. I could see the concern clear in his. "Actually, we sort of came to an agreement last night," I admitted, feeling exposed by my own rashness on Saturday night.

He unfolded a sheet of paper and held it out to me. "So I don't need to put this up then?"

I read the flyer. It was the ad for my spare room. "No, still put it up. I've agreed to give it a shot but I can't really see it working out."

He walked me to the cafeteria as I explained to him the deal that Edward and I had struck. After I finished, I was surprised by Jasper's skepticism.

"Hmm, sounds to me like he wants to start dragging you around Seattle in a warped effort to normalise you."

I stopped mid stride. "Normalise me?"

He shot me the kind of look that a parent might give a child who was being deliberately obtuse. "You know what I mean, Bella. I mean normal to him." He huffed out an exasperated sigh. "What is he trying to do here? Turn you into one of the bar hopping skanks he usually dates?"

"Jazz, we are not going to be dating. He's just suggesting that we get to know each other better and the best way to do that is to share our common interests. I thought you'd be happy. It's time I made more friends."

His eyes narrowed. "Yes it is, but the only interest Edward Cullen has is scouring bars looking for women. That's not a common interest he could share with you."

He seemed annoyed and it was the complete opposite reaction to what I was expecting. I had genuinely thought he'd be pleased that I was willing to give his choice of roommate another shot.

"I thought you'd be pleased." I said again, my new found confidence in my ability to handle Edward slowly evaporating.

"I don't want you to get hurt," he said. "Just don't let him talk you into anything you're not comfortable with."

I rolled my eyes. "We're going to see a movie on Thursday. He's hardly going to pounce on me in the middle of the campus movie club showing of East of Eden."

He scoffed. "Edward's going to sit through that with you?"

"Actually, it was his idea. He knows I don't watch much TV and know even less about movies. He suggested that since I love the book it might be nice for me to watch the film adaptation."

We were still mid argument when Edward appeared at our table. "Hi guys," he said brightly, plonking his tray down on the table and consuming half a pizza slice in one bite. "Jesus Bella, you look like shit."

Jasper frowned.

~*AE*~

I didn't see much of Edward for the rest of the week. True to his word he spent most evenings working in his room or at late lectures. By the time Thursday rolled around when we were due to go to the movie club, Jasper's words were haunting me. Why would Edward want to sit through East of Eden? Was he just playing me?

He materialised in his doorway at seven thirty on the dot dressed in a plain black button down shirt and charcoal jacket. I noticed that he'd shaved, but his hair hadn't cooperated and was as rambunctious as ever. I smiled nervously as he cocked one eyebrow as he appraised my outfit.

Not knowing what the usual attire was for a non-date with your room mate to see a fifty year old film on a college campus, I had decided that maybe a little effort was required. I had donned a simple floral dress toned down by my jean jacket and deck shoes.

"Is this okay?" I nearly bit through my lip with embarrassment.

"Do you think it's okay?" His eyes probed mine. His subtle reminder to be myself did not go unnoticed.

"Point taken," I conceded, forcing a tight smile.

We stepped out into the cool night air and headed for my truck. "Is this heap yours?" he asked, with a chuckle.

"Hey," I groused. "Don't hate the truck."

He held his hands up in apology, but the smile that graced his face was natural and set me at ease.

He slid onto the seat beside me and I started the engine. When I turned to look out the rear window to reverse, our eyes met. His lips pulled back into a wide grin causing my gut to twist in that peculiar way I was quickly becoming accustomed to. I tore my eyes away and concentrated on the task at hand.

We drove in silence but his presence seemed to fill every bit of space around me making me intensely aware of him. He, on the other hand, looked casual and relaxed as his fingers tapped out a lazy rhythm on the window frame.

When we reached our destination I gave Edward one last chance to back out, but he insisted he wanted to do this with me. I was so excited to see the film that I didn't argue, and followed him into the building. We stepped into a room teeming with students all locked in individual discussions. I glanced at Edward, and he smiled encouragingly before suggesting we get some sodas from the refreshment table at the back of the room.

We found two seats in one of the middle rows, and I blushed as a couple of people grumbled when they had to stand to let us past just as the movie was starting.

I thoroughly enjoyed the film. It was a wonderful surprise for me to look around the room and see pleasure reflected in so many faces. It was an entirely new experience to share an emotion with so many people in such a public setting. I glanced at Edward but his eyes were on me rather than the screen. For a brief moment, before he turned back to the screen, I thought I saw a glimmer of pleasure in his eyes.

"That was amazing! Of course it was only a small part of the full story, but still, I'd like to watch more of James Dean's work. He was so intense as Cal!" I trilled excitedly, as we made our way through the dark, crowded, parking lot to my truck. "I expected the place to be empty. I can't believe there were so many people there, and you could have heard a pin drop throughout the entire film."

I opened the truck door and climbed in.

"It wasn't too boring for you was it?" I asked, worried that the night might have been excruciating for him.

His expression was soft with amusement. "It was surprisingly good."

"The film?"

"No Bella, not the film. You were right about that, it wasn't my scene at all, but it was good to see you lose yourself like that."

His words perplexed me but I'd had such a good evening they failed to erase the smile from my face. I pulled the truck out of the lot and headed for home.

Edward chuckled beside me.

"What?" I asked, stealing a glance in his direction.

"I was just thinking you look so buzzed you could probably fly home."

I grinned. "I guess I'm just... buzzed... that I felt a part of something tonight. I've never felt that before, you know? A whole room of people all feeling the same emotion, engrossed in the same story. It was...amazing."

His smile was almost affectionate. "Yeah, you said that already. I hate to break this to you... James Dean only made three films."

"Really?" That disappointed me.

"Yeah, he died young."

I ruminated on that all the way home. Life is way too short to worry about things that really don't matter at all. It gave me renewed conviction that I should make the effort to attack life and get what I want from it, rather than just let it happen around me.

I parked outside the apartment, killed the engine and swivelled in my seat to face him "Thank you Edward, for suggesting this tonight." His eyes met mine. "I had a really good time."

"Well since you like the book so much, I was pretty sure you would enjoy it," he said modestly.

He got out of the truck first and I followed him to the apartment where I waited while he unlocked our front door and stepped inside. We stood facing each other in the hallway.

"I might have a beer," he said, making it sound like an invitation.

In response, I yawned theatrically which made him smile. I became aware of his close proximity when his eyes searched mine and I had to fight the urge to swallow...hard.

"Goodnight Bella." His voice was decadent like melting chocolate and his breath fanned my face.

"Goodnight," I responded, fumbling frantically behind me for the door knob. I found it, twisting it altogether too quickly and almost fell backwards into my room.

His hand clamped around my arm like a vice. "Whoa! Careful." His expression was caught somewhere between intense humour and mild concern.

I wriggled free from his grip and ducked into my room closing the door with more restraint than I felt. I stood for a few interminable moments listening to my own crashing heartbeat, before I mentally berated myself and got ready for another sleepless night.

~*AE*~

I dragged my laundry bag into the apartment on Friday night and dumped it in my room deciding I could put the clothes away later. I had gone straight to the Laundromat after college, and eaten a carton of take out Chinese noodles while I watched my clothes tumble around in the washing machine.

"Edward?" I called out removing my jacket and heading into the living room – no answer.

It was just gone eight and I figured he'd probably gone out for the evening, so I grabbed a soda from the fridge, retrieved my needlepoint from my room, and relaxed onto the couch to unwind.

Less than half an hour later Edward breezed into the apartment brandishing a brown grocery bag and wearing a mischievous grin.

He stopped in front of me and squinted at my needlepoint.

"Seriously?" He smirked. "Friday night, and you're doing needlepoint."

Lately we had fallen into an easy manner with each other, and I now knew he wasn't being mean with his little quips.

"It's very relaxing." I insisted smiling up at him. "I've had a rough day."

"Well I can help with that," he said, dumping the bag on the counter. I watched him pull out two six packs of beer, two large bags of chips, and a pack of playing cards.

I eyed his wares suspiciously, and looked up at him confused.

He walked towards me and took the needlepoint carefully from my hands. "That's really nice," he said looking down at it. "But it's hardly a team sport now, is it?"

"And two six packs and a couple of bags of chips is?" I snorted.

"Last night was your thing. Tonight is mine..." He hesitated slightly but still waggled the cards in front of me. "If you're up for it?"

"Why don't you tell me what you have in mind," I suggested, taking the needlepoint back and standing up. "I'll put this back in my room."

He walked behind me as I went. "Normally, if I'm not too busy with course work, I go out on a Friday night. But since you're newly twenty one but act like your seventeen, I thought we could hang out here, have a couple of beers and play cards. You can play?"

He lingered in my doorway with his arms stretched above his head gripping the frame, and watched me put the needlepoint in my sewing box.

"Does snap count?" I asked, with a giggle.

A wide grin spread over his face. "I had you down as more of a Solitaire girl." He pushed away from the doorway as I walked towards him, and we moved back to the living room. "I'll teach you how to play poker."

He put the beers in the fridge, leaving one out and twisted the cap off before offering it to me.

I eyed the bottle skeptically. I'd never tasted beer before, but the wine had been a pleasant surprise, so I accepted the bottle and took a tentative sip. My mouth was instantly filled with bitter bubbles that left a horrible aftertaste once I swallowed. I grimaced thrusting the bottle back into his hands with a shake of my head.

Edward laughed. "Lucky I brought back up." He lifted a bottle of wine out of the bag and poured me a small glass.

We settled at the table and he roughly explained the rules to me as he dealt the cards. I didn't follow any of it, and the first few hands we played descended into farce as I struggled to comprehend the object of the game.

"For the love of God, Bella, how many times?" He laughed, scooping my cards up and throwing them at me lightly. "My full house beats your flush."

I narrowed my eyes dramatically. "I'm not sure I trust you. You seem to be doing all the winning here."

"Are you accusing me of cheat–"

We were interrupted by a loud knock on the door and exchanged confused glances, before Edward got up to answer it. "You're not expecting anyone are you?" he asked, making his way to the door.

I shook my head standing up to see who it was. He swung the door open to reveal Jasper and Alice.

"Come in!" I leapt towards them. My voice came out sounding embarrassingly like a squeal, and they raised their eyebrows in unison. I cleared my throat, hoping my voice would sound more normal when I spoke again. "I wasn't expecting to see you guys tonight."

Jasper stepped into the apartment eyeing Edward. "We thought you might appreciate some company."

Alice skipped in behind him hugging Edward first and then me. "We thought Edward might be out, and Jasper couldn't bear the thought of you sitting here alone on a Friday night."

Jasper looked sheepish when I laughed. "It never bothered you when you were dating Alice. I can remember many weekends spent alone."

His head snapped up. I was shocked to see that he actually looked offended, but then as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone, and I was left wondering if I had imagined it.

"I'm teaching Bella how to play poker, but it's not going well, let me tell you," Edward said with an easy smile. "It's actually sort of perfect that you guys showed up. She thinks I'm cheating."

"I do not," I protested, swatting his arm.

"Have you been drinking?" Jasper had passed us and was now taking in the contents of the table.

"Yes dad," I replied with a sarcastic giggle. Turning to Alice, I asked, "Would you like a glass of wine?"

Alice beamed at me. "Bella's letting loose. I approve."

The four of us settled at the table and I slowly began to grasp the rules. When I finally won a hand I squealed in delight, and Edward and Alice gave me a high five, while Jasper simply gaped at me open-mouthed.

Alice slid onto Jaspers lap as we played and we laughed at his poorly disguised attempts to peek at her hand. I watched the easy way they were together. The way his lips would brush her shoulder surreptitiously, or she would play with his hair absentmindedly. It made my heart ache, not because I was jealous, but because I longed to feel loved like that.

When the spectre of work the next day loomed in my mind, I made coffee and the game wound down.

Jasper helped me clear the glasses and bottles from the table, and leaned against the counter while I bagged up the trash. "I had a really good time tonight," I told him. "I'm so glad you and Alice came over. I don't know why we didn't think to invite you over."

"We?" He crooked a questioning eyebrow, but his lips were curved into an amused grin. "You've changed your tune."

"Maybe I was slightly hasty. He's been very nice this week," I said, cradling my wine glass to my chest.

He stepped forward and lowered his voice. "Bella, I get that you want to broaden your horizons, but you really shouldn't be too trusting." His eyes were gentle. "He's supposed to be here because he needs to get away from the party life style, yet here he is plying you with alcohol and teaching you poker."

I stifled a giggle. "Jazz, I love that you're concerned but really, we're just trying to get to know each other. It'll make living together a whole lot easier."

He let out a long hissing breath and folded his arms across his chest. "I'm sorry, I know Alice is adamant that he's okay underneath it all, but I've seen him in action and I don't trust him."

"In action?" My eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Jasper ruffled his fingers through his hair, sighing."I just think we should find you someone more suitable."

"Suitable for what?" Edward asked, setting the wine bottle carefully on the counter.

I spun round and could see the hint of challenge in his dark green eyes as he looked at Jasper. Thankfully Alice appeared behind him holding Jasper's jacket. Edward stepped to the side, never taking his eyes off him, as Jasper brushed past. I offered Edward a small smile of apology as I followed them to the door.

"You should come to our place for dinner on Sunday, Bella," Alice said hugging me. "If you don't already have plans?"

I shook my head. "No, it was just going to be my usual leftovers after work night. I'll come straight from work, can I bring anything?"

"No, just your good self." She smiled kissing my cheek.

"I'll see you Sunday," Jasper said hugging me before they left.

Edward was sitting on the couch shuffling the cards when I returned to the living room.

"So, are you gonna tell me what Jasper's problem is?" he asked without looking at me.

"He's always looked out for me. I guess he was just caught off guard seeing me with a drink in my hand and playing poker." I smiled but it drifted away as I continued. "I guess I freaked him out a little bit last weekend when I said I didn't want you living here." My cheeks flamed as I spoke. "That conversation in the kitchen was just him making sure I was okay."

He looked up at me. "Ah, the more suitable comment." He laid the cards on the coffee table and raked his fingers through his hair. "I'm unsuitable?"

"He didn't mean it like that."

He stood up and moved towards me his stride long and fluid. "If I want Jasper's opinion I'll ask him. What's your opinion, do you think I'm unsuitable?"

"I don't think so," I whispered.

To my surprise he grinned. "Well that's progress on last week, isn't it?"

He towered over me, and in the absence of words I simply nodded. His eyes flicked to the kitchen clock, reminding me of the late hour. "I'm going to bed," I said quietly, stepping around him.

I left him standing there as I went to bed. Sleep evaded me as I replayed Jasper's warning in my mind. Was I being too naive?

The following night when I arrived home from work Edward was studying at the living room table. He looked up to say hello and I noticed how tired he looked. Strain was etched across his usually relaxed features.

"I'll just take a quick shower and then I'll cook dinner," I offered, dumping my bag on the couch and stepping gratefully out of my shoes.

"I...erm... I have a date tonight so I'll be eating out, but thanks."

"Oh, right," I said, picking up my shoes. "I think there's some leftover Vegetarian Lasagne. I'll have that if I'm eating alone."

He pointed with his pencil to a small package on the coffee table. "I got you something."

He watched while I bent to pick it up. I fished inside the bag and pulled out two DVDs and turned them over to read the titles. Delight bubbled through me. "Persuasion and Emma."

"Those were all they had," he explained looking adorably uncertain. "I thought you might want to watch them tonight. I saw your reading list on the counter the other day, and thought you might like to watch the movies too."

There was a long moment where we stared at each other. I was extremely touched by the gesture and had the strong urge to hug him – but I couldn't, so the moment passed.

"That's really sweet of you Edward. You didn't have to do that," I said, feeling like my words where wholly inadequate. I turned the cases over and over in my hands, scanning the covers and feeling my gratitude rise with each turn.

"It was no trouble at all. I was passing the store on the way home," he said, closing his books and stacking them in a pile before picking them up. "Do you mind if I take a shower before you?"

I dragged my eyes away from the DVD cases. "Sure, go ahead."

I moved around the kitchen humming to myself, suddenly happy that I had a relaxing night with Jane Austen planned. I heard Edward come out of the bathroom and head into his room, so I took the opportunity to have my shower while my lasagne was defrosting.

The bathroom smelled of his products. A warm rush filtered through me as I breathed in the scent of him. It made me feel things I'd never felt before – things I couldn't name. Again, I was hit with the felling that I wanted to hug him, but this time it was motivated by something far stronger than gratitude.

I thought about Edward when I was in the shower. It was such a nice thing for him to do buying me the films to watch. I also thought about Jasper's suspicion and Alice's insistence that Edward is a good guy. As I towelled off I decided that Alice was probably the more reliable person to believe, and Edward's actions tonight had backed that up.

Wrapping a towel around my body, I padded to my room to get changed. I dressed in a vest top and comfortable pajama bottoms, but mindful that Edward was still in, I topped it off with my fluffy bathrobe. He was just finishing tying his laces in the living room, and stood up as I came in.

He was wearing dark jeans and a snug fitting black long sleeved shirt and he looked every bit as handsome as he did the night he took me to see East of Eden. "You look nice," I commented. "Going somewhere special?"

He shook his head. "Just to some Thai place Emmett loves. He met this new chick..." He hesitated with a grimace. "Sorry, girl... and he set me up with her roommate. A sort of double date." He groaned. "It's all very high school really."

"I'm sure you'll have a great time," I said finding his discomfort funny.

Just as he was leaving a thought occurred to me; this was unchartered territory and something we hadn't set ground rules on.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" I cleared my throat nervously.

"Shoot," he said, seemingly too preoccupied checking the contents of his wallet to notice the gravity of my tone.

"Will you be bringing your date back here?"

His head jerked up and his eyes connected with mine. "I hadn't really thought that far ahead," he admitted. "Did Jasper bring Alice back initially?"

I shook my head. "But that was because Alice already had her own place." I started to regret bringing it up. I felt somehow like I was prying into matters that didn't concern me and thinking too much about Edward and his date wasn't a good thing, judging by the growing weight in my chest. "I don't mind if you do. I won't be staying up late anyway so..."

He dragged his hand through his hair and checked his watch. "No, I...erm... I'll see what happens, but either way I won't bring anyone back here. I better go or I'll be late."

I plopped down on the couch and cringed.

By the time I left for work the next morning Edward hadn't returned.