Wow . . . just wow. I thought 15 visitors a month was pretty good, but last month this story alone got 83 visitors and this month 45! So I hope this chapter won't disappoint. ;D And I apologize for the long wait. I had finals all last week and I was just catching up on my sleep this weekend.
Disclaimer: We've already been through this a million times, but if you insist, I don't own bleach or any of it's contents and that includes the characters
"So many nights I've watched you sleep. Tried to resist but it cut so deep. And when you're next to me you're still out of my reach. But I just long for you . . . "
" . . .and I try to be strong, but I still long for you. I look into your heart and discover myself, but I'll never be apart of your world. I need you. Can't reach you, we're worlds apart. If you need me look into your heart."
- 'Your Heart' by Damien Dawn
He was a war with himself in more ways then one. Was Ikkaku merely a friend or more? Were Yumichika's feelings true or was it just a desperate attempt to make sense of things? The one that he had settled on for the moment was, whether this plan was going to work and save Ikkaku, or if fate deal out the death card to both of them. Darkness surrounded him and his head spun. The room seemed to shrink around him and the furniture began to blur together. Sweat rolled down his forehead and his heart pounded. He half hoped that he wouldn't have to go through with it, that someone would come banging on the door and tell him that Ikkaku had recovered and was asking to see him. The other half of him knew that wasn't going to happen and it was up to him to save Ikkaku's life. The thing that got Yumichika set on the idea was the fact that with every passing minute Ikkaku was growing weaker. It seemed that no matter the type or amount of healing kido used on Ikkaku, he had only improved very little. Now he had knocked on death's door and was merely waiting to be let it.
His realistic side won and Yumichika decided, it was now or never. So without much more thought Yumichika raised his trembling arms with the sword grasped firmly in his hands, his knuckles and face drained of blood. Without another moments hesitation he uttered the words that only few times before had passed his lips. The vines wrapped around his body and he could feel his energy quickly disappearing. He never imagined the pain that was inflicted by his own powers, but now lying there suffering he understood. With his reiatsu being sucked out of him, the flowers buds began to bloom. And before Yumichika was completely drained he called off his zanpakuto. Those few minutes were so excruciatingly painful that Yumichika's vision began to blurr once more. When the light from the zanpakuto dimmed so did his consciousness and he fell face forward onto the ground.
He awoke not too much long after and with the little energy he possessed he gathered up the flowers that remained on the ground and tucked them into his uniform. He stumbled about the streets of the Soul Society before he reached the Squad Four Barracks. When he did however he tried to appear as normal as possible so as not to draw attention to himself. When he came to the room he was relieved to find Ikkaku still breathing and no one else there. With trembling hands he held up a flower that radiated with energy. He put the petal to Ikkaku's lips and already the reiatsu was flowing into him. That one flower, now drained, had made a difference, and that was enough to spark hope into Yumichika, as well as some energy. Once he had gone through all the flowers they disintegrated and all he had left to do now was wait and hope. Fortunately the wait wasn't long.
Inside Ikkaku's head
"You're so weak!"
"You're pathetic!"
"You will never amount to anything!"
Those words rang loud and clear.
He thought that they were true, but he was only a child.
There did come a time when he discovered that those words meant nothing.
He had done nothing wrong and didn't deserve such treatment.
But all he received for it was bruises and broken bones.
It made him strong.
All the torture and all the suffering made his who he was.
So who would he be if his upbringing in the rukon districts had been different?
He certainly wouldn't have ended up killing his 'father', who had been the one who'd tortured him.
He certainly wouldn't have gotten lost and confused and have struggled on his own.
He wouldn't have gotten into so many fights and discovered that he loved it.
He wouldn't have developed a hate for those who had special powers that didn't require them to do anything, but say a few incantations.
And he certainly wouldn't have met Yumichika.
That day.
It was one that Ikkaku remembered perfectly.
He'd had one too many drinks that day, trying to fill the emptiness that he felt in his life.
He had fighting, but there was something else missing.
Once he had left the bar he wandered around challenging anyone he could find.
When he came upon the long haired man he thought it would be any easy kill.
He was reckless and wasn't thinking about the enjoyment of the fight.
He just wanted to kill.
He was proved wrong however.
The man was a worthy match.
After congratulating the other man Ikkaku vowed to himself that he would become stronger.
He would stop his heavy drinking and would focus on becoming stronger.
Yumichika had given his life purpose again.
But that's when the hunger set in.
That's when his reiatsu began to rise and become stronger.
Or in other words, more uncontrollable.
He began experiencing hunger.
Food was scarce and it was a struggle to get a hold of some, because many were desperate for it.
That's the second time he met the long haired man.
He had found a woman who was selling food.
She had set up a table at the end of the market.
It was a little more secluded and the perfect target.
He had been in an alley awaiting the moment when the woman turned her back.
He waited and waited.
Ikkaku had been too focused on the food he didn't see the long haired man in the alley behind the woman.
But he saw Ikkaku.
Yumichika saw that same look of hunger in his eyes that he felt.
Stepping out of the shadows he attempted to grab off the table.
The woman caught his wrist and began scolding him.
He motioned with his eyes for Ikkaku to grab something while she was distracted.
Not needing to be told twice Ikkaku pounced on the table, scooping up as much as he could.
The woman released her grasp on Yumichika's wrist and turned to chase Ikkaku.
Yumichika gathered up what was left and headed off in the opposite direction.
After that the two men continued to run into each other and surprised each other by how well they worked together.
Since then they'd become friends.
And now?
Ikkaku knew he was dying.
He also knew that Yumichika was on the other side waiting.
For that one brief moment that he had awoken he had saw his best friend.
He felt more relieved to see his friend alive than he would ever admit.
But what he had seen in Yumichika's eyes puzzled him.
Normally Ikkaku would've dismissed it and let it be, but this was different.
He had to know what had been going through Yumichika's mind before he left.
He also wanted to know what had happened and how he was even still alive.
His eyes opened and the men were both relieved to see the other. They were both weak, but both alive. Neither knew what to say. Ikkaku wanted to ask how he was still alive, but there was something about the complexion of the man that told Ikkakku it wasn't something that should be discussed immediately. They remained in silence another moment when Yumichika finally was able to gather words.
"Welcome back to the world of the living, friend."
"It's good to be back." Ikkaku's voice was hoarse. There would have been another awkward silence between the two if a nurse hadn't poked his head in. When he saw that Ikkaku was awake he beamed.
"Madarame! It's good to see you alive. We thought that you were done for!" A smile broke across Ikkaku's face.
"A feeble group of hollows like that! Don't insult me," although the nurse realized that Ikkaku was joking he apologized and then seeing Yumichika for the first time he decided to leave the two alone. Yumichika had been constantly worrying about Ikkaku dying and now that it was assured that he wasn't he was at a loss for words. He didn't want to get emotional or sappy by saying something like 'I missed you'. Fortunately this time Ikkaku broke the silence.
"What happened? I thought I was done for when those hollows closed in on me." Yumichika folded his arms across his chest and adopted a false serious look.
"You would have been if not for me! You're lucky you have such a good friend. I figured your reputation would be ruined if you'd lost to hollows." Ikkaku scowled, but was secretly grateful to his friend. Until he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder where his friend's fist had just connected to.
"What the hell was that for!" Ikkaku said rubbing his shoulder and sitting up.
"For scaring me!" Yumichika hadn't meant to say that. He'd meant to say something like 'For being weak' or 'Just checking to see if you could feel.' Ikkaku raised an eyebrow at that. Yumichika flushed. Now he was in for it. Didn't take long for that secret to be blown. Luckily Ikkaku was still a little slow from the recent recovery that it didn't register. All he wanted was an explanation. When Yumichika realized this he relaxed and searched for a way to cover up for it. Finding no other way he said, "You were nearly dead."
"And you scared that I almost died?"
"Well I wouldn't have anyone to torment and tease now would I? Or someone I could ask in the morning whether or not I look good," he said putting on his flamboyant nature to cover up his feelings. Ikkaku slumped over and moaned. 'Yumichika would,' he thought.
"You could do that just fine with Rangiku."
"Yeah but I don't get the same reactions out of her that I do with you."
Luckily for Yumichika he convinced his friend. Secretly he wished he could have gotten the nerves to just tell Ikkaku, but no matter what opportunity presented itself he would always be a coward. Shy away from every chance he could so as not to ruin what he had. But after this slip up he knew it was only a matter of time before the secret would be out.
Alright! I finally did it. So sorry it took so long. And Merry Christmas!