Author's note; Thank you for reading the last chapter. I'm not sure whether or not this story is being enjoyed because I'm not getting any feed back. Anyway, I shall just carry on until someone tells me that it's so awful that they want me to stop! Remember that bowl that Carlisle left at Bella's place, the day before? Well, I think she's going to have to return it, don't you? Finally a LEMON! Enjoy.
Disclaimer; I do not own Twilight. I just have fun, messing with the characters.
Agony and Ecstasy
No looking back
I had sadly neglected to write in my journal. This was one thing I had promised myself to do while I was away on holiday. I doubted that I would often holiday on my own and so I wanted to record some of my experiences and thoughts of this one. Fortunately, I had remembered to pack my easy to use and idiot proof camera. So the task for this morning was to take pictures of the scenery, from the cabin and make a start on my journal.
I fished out my camera from the small holdall and made my way out of the bedroom, opening up the French doors to let in the fresh sea air. I stood for a moment to take in the beautiful vista. I didn't think that I could ever tire of waking up to this kind of morning every day. No doubt the winter months were another matter entirely. Wind and rain were not my favourite weather experiences but I did love the snow.
I looked through the view finder and pressed the button. Ten shots later, I was satisfied that I had enough pictures to select the best from later. I put the camera away and picked up the journal and pen.
I lifted out the comfy chair onto the patio, sat down and took up my usual relaxed stance.
I opened up the book, quickly scanning my last entry. It detailed the first week that Mike and I met and the realisation hit me that I hadn't actually made an entry since then. That entry was full of hope, light-hearted and carefree. I took a deep breath and decided not to update that particular episode of my life. I couldn't believe that I had thought of him so much, that he distracted me from my writing.
And so I began.
Having decided to take a holiday, on my own, after spitting up with Mike, I am now on Orcas Island and know that I made the best decision. I have never felt more relaxed. I'm not going to waste precious paper and ink, on detailing Mike's short-comings and lack of sensitivity. It's over and I'm thankful.
Orcas Island is beautiful, restful. It's been two days since I arrived and the weather has been glorious. There are plenty of water sports to experience but I doubt that I will venture far from the cabin. It already feels like home. I was a little apprehensive about being on my own but now, I love it.
The cabin has everything that I need for my stay.
I was greeted at the harbor by Carlisle. He lives in the cabin nearby. Lucky me. Rose's parents had kindly arranged for Carlisle to collect a box of groceries from the village store and to give me a lift to the cabin.
He's a fascinating person. He's an artist and has lived on the island for fifteens years. The strange thing is, I've been dreaming about him. God, he's old enough to be my father, not that I know his age but he more or less confirmed my thoughts when he said that he had been married once, more than twenty years ago. His story is quite sad. His wife left him to have children with another man all because Carlisle was unable to fullfil that 'duty'. The weird thing is, it made me feel angry that she did that to him. I know I don't know him and who's to say that there were not other things involved that made her do that but somehow my heart went out to him. He was obviously deeply affected by her actions because he left New York in order to start a new life, here on Orcas.
I have so many questions I would like to ask him, but feel that I would only be intruding on his self imposed seclusion. He's working on a commissioned painting at the moment. He has to have it ready in three weeks and so far, there are only pencil lines drawn on the canvas. Yes, I saw it for myself. I stood in his living room, where he does his work. That was the second time I felt drawn to him. He has a very quiet nature but exudes confidence. He is what I would like to be; comfortable in his own skin. He has travelled to many places; places that I can only dream of. Well for now, anyway.
And the dreams? Well, where do I begin? One minute we're talking and the next we're kissing. If the kiss in my dream is anything to go by, fuck, it's worth going to hell for. I'm pretty sure that's where I'll end up after this holiday. I'm beginning to feel tempted to act on these dreams. What's to lose? Older men are so much more experienced. So I've been told. Maybe I could learn something from him. I came here to discover what it is I want from life. Maybe this is one of those things. To experience an older man.
But then again he probably sees me as some stupid young woman who hasn't got a clue about anything. He probably wouldn't want to waste his time on me.
But he did say that he didn't mind being distracted by me. Yes, he did say that and that I had amazing eyes. Of course that's probably just the artist in him. They look at everything entirely differently to the rest of us. They see everything from a different perspective. I doubt if he can imagine what my normal day to day life is. Extremely dull compared to his, that's for sure. He wakes up in the mornings and sees a wonderful array of colours. I've never seen green look so....green. And the varying shades of blue are truly amazing. He had some of those colours already mixed on one of his palettes. Each one was a perfect match to the view outside his cabin. God, I wish I had been born with that kind of talent. Just to be creative in that way, to express yourself with colour. I envy him. He's living his dream.
Yes, my dreams. When he stopped kissing me I could feel his rough hands slip under my t-shirt. He was so gentle and thoughtful. His eyes kept searching mine as if he half expected me to refuse him. But I didn't. He began to kiss my stomach. His lips trailed kisses from one side of my body to the other as he slowly undid the zip of my jeans and then.... Damn! My dream had to end there didn't it?! I'm definitely going to hell. God, it would be like going to bed with my father.
Now I feel sick.
I think I'm cured.
But then again.......
I shut the journal and smiled to myself. It felt like anything was possible on this holiday. In less than two weeks I would be thrust back into the mayhem, that was called real life.
I would take a chance. What is life all about if not for taking chances once in a while? I had his bowl to return, after all.
I quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt. The idea of standing at Carlisle's door in my sweat pants and a cami top would probably not go down too well. It would give the wrong impression, so to speak.
Once I brushed through my hair leaving it down, I grabbed the now clean bowl, that had contained Carlisle's peace offering. I hesitated at the French doors for a moment, warring with myself as to whether to go or not. I just knew this would happen. I was thinking too much.
I took a deep breath, locked the doors and began my walk down to Carlisle's cabin.
My heart began to beat faster the nearer I got to his front door. I could feel the flush rise to my cheeks. Surely this was so wrong but then again I just couldn't stop myself.
I knocked on the door. Remembering that he might be too absorbed in his work to hear the knock, I decided to walk around the cabin to the French doors. They would, without a doubt, be open if he was working.
And there he was.
Bare from the waist up.
I had guessed correctly. He was totally focused on the canvas in front of him. He was holding a brush. He had begun to add colour to his work. I felt a tinge of excitement that this work was now going to take shape. He looked over in the direction of the view. I realised that I was standing in his way. His face suddenly changed to one of recognition. I smiled weakly at him.
"Bella! What a pleasant surprise!" I inwardly sighed with relief. He could have quite easily told me to get the hell out of the way. But somehow I doubted it.
"Hi, I just wanted to bring back your bowl." I said, offering it to him.
"Okay, thanks." He held up his hands that were covered in various shades of green. He gave a small smile. "Would you mind very much putting it the kitchen for me?"
I nodded. "Of course. I'll get out of your way then." I quickly walked past him, keeping my focus on the direction that I was heading for. I sensed that he turned and watched me walk away. I walked into the kitchen and took a much needed deep breath. The room was exactly the same size and shape as the one at my cabin. I set the bowl down on the counter top, next to the fridge. As I turned to leave the kitchen, Carlisle was standing in the doorway, completely blocking my only way out. He was using a rag to wipe his hands. The muscles in his arms and across his chest had me mezmerised, as he cleaned his hands. I stood still for a moment trying to figure out whether or not I should ask him to move. He studied me without a flicker of emotion on his face. I consciously did the same. I was determined not to feel intimidated, as I usually would in a situation like this and stood my ground.
"You don't have to go right this minute, do you?" He finally asked, tucking the rag in the back pocket of his jeans but not moving from his spot.
He had given me an option but his tone was such that if I had said yes, he would be disappointed. I was also sure that if I did say yes, he would move out of the way to let me go. But did I really want to go? My heart began to thump hard once again as he kept his eyes trained on me. The ball was well and truly in my court and I need to serve it back to him, one way or another.
I shook my head slightly. "No, I don't have to go, just yet." I finally replied. His stance visibly relaxed and he smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.
"Would you like something to drink, Bella? I have a bottle of wine chilling." He stated, moving towards the fridge. I stepped to one side to allow him access to the fridge door.
"Isn't it a little early for that?" I retorted.
He looked at me with a puzzled frown. "Well, it's Sunday, it's gone one o'clock and feel like celebrating in some small way." I looked at him with wide eyes.
"Is that the time? I hadn't realised. I haven't even had lunch yet!" The thought of wine on an empty stomach would not do me any good.
"What did you do? Leave your watch back in Seattle?" I chuckled at him. He had almost got that right.
"Actually, I left my phone at home and haven't worn my watch since I got here. I'm in official 'holiday' mode." I informed him, proudly.
He raised an eyebrow. "So, if I make you something to eat, you'll share the bottle of wine with me?" It sounded totally logical to me! I nodded.
"Deal." I replied. And then in the next breath, I asked. "What are you going to make for me?" I leaned back on the edge of the counter top, feeling relaxed and sure of myself in the company of this man.
"Well, I have some left over cooked rice and some cooked chicken." He listed, as he rummaged around in the fridge. "And some left over vegetables. How about I make a quick Chinese stir fry?" He looked over to me, as he took out the ingredients for the feast.
"That's sounds great." I answered. "You will join me though, won't you? It wouldn't feel right to eat on my own." I added.
"Okay, Bella. Here, you take the bottle and glasses and make yourself comfortable. Let me open the bottle." I gathered up the two glasses in one hand, as he deftly extracted the cork from the bottle with a cork screw. He handed me the bottle and I made my way out to the living room. I placed the bottle and glasses on the edge of the desk and moved the chair out onto the grass area, just outside the French doors. I looked for another chair and found one hidden under a pile of magazines and a couple of sheets. I carefully removed the magazines and sheets, placing them on the floor and put the now empty chair, outside, a couple of feet away from the other one.
I gathered up the glasses and bottle and sat down in a chair and poured myself some wine. Only minutes later, Carlisle brought out two bowls of the steaming concoction. It smelt wonderful. He handed me a bowl and spoon and sat down in his chair.
"This looks lovely, Carlisle. Thank you so much." I said gratefully, taking my first mouthful. "So, what are you celebrating?" I looked over to him to wait for his answer.
"The fact that I may well be able to get the painting finished, inside of the three week deadline." He replied, smuggly.
"I take it you usually have more time to finish your commisions?" I stated.
"Yep, usually up to eight weeks or in some cases open ended, as long as the customer is happy." He replied, looking ahead as he ate.
I finished my meal, setting the bowl down on the grass and picked up my glass and took a mouthful of wine.
"Bella, can I ask you something?" I looked over to him. He sounded nervous.
"Umm, yes." So was I.
"Would you sit for me?" He asked, looking straight ahead, as if dreading the answer.
"You want to paint a picture of me?" I whispered, shocked.
"Yes." He began, turning to face me now. "I want to have something to remember you by, when your holiday is over." I could hardly believe what he was saying.
"Why on earth would you want to paint me?" He chuckled, gently.
"Because you're beautiful, Bella. I paint beautiful things and I want to paint you." I swallowed hard at his words, my inner termoil rising up once again.
"No one has ever called me beautiful." I stated quietly. I wasn't sure if it was the effects of the wine or the fact that he called me beautiful but tears quickly welled in my eyes and broke free, rolling down my cheeks.
Without a word he stood up, taking just two strides to close the gap bewteen us. He reached down to me and cupped my face with both hands, brushing the tears away with his thumbs. His breath fanned over my lips as he moved his face closer to mine. Shit! I was on my way to hell.
"But you are." He whispered and then his lips were on mine. My dream had become reality. Since when do my dreams become a reality?! Never, until now.
His lips were soft and gentle, touching mine, feather light. I shut my eyes wanting more. He got the message. He moved his lips away from mine, just a fraction and then they were on mine again, this time there was more pressure behind the kiss. Our mouths moulded together perfectly synchronised. He smelt of wine, chicken, soy sauce and chillies. Very enticing.
I snaked my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me.
I wanted more.
For the first time, I knew exactly what I wanted.
Him.
I wanted to taste him. I sucked his bottom lip between mine. He groaned, spurring me on. I slid my tongue into his mouth. And he responded. God, he tasted good!
As our tongues danced to their own tune, my heart was racing and my stomach began to twitch, the internal coil tightening. These feelings were almost completely alien to me. It was heavenly to know that everything was functioning as it should be, at a time like this.
He moved his hands from my face and placed them on my waist, pulling me to my feet. Braking away from our kiss, he peppered my face with kisses. I gasped for air and trailed my hands down from his neck and along his heaving chest, down over his stomach and finally rested them on his waist, just above the waistband. He kissed his way down to my neck, licking and sucking gently.
"Bella." He whispered, against my flesh. "Tell me what you want." I struggled to gather together some kind of coherent thoughts. I didn't want to fight this.
"I want..." My breath hitched at the realization of what I was about to say. "I want you."
He kissed my mouth again, taking my hand and bending down in front of me to hand me my glass and pick up his own and the bottle. Without a word he led me back into his cabin, turning left in the hallway, pushing open a half closed door. His bedroom.
I took another mouthful of wine from my glass as he placed the bottle down on the chest of drawers. I watched him as he too, took another mouthful from his glass and taking my glass from me, he set them both down next to the bottle. He reached out to me taking my hands in his pulling me to him again. My instincts took over.
I kissed his chest, licking and tasting him, his flesh was salty and sweet all at the same time. Pure heaven.
I moved my head back for a moment as I felt my t-shirt being pulled up my body and over my head. He reached down and placed his lips against my chest, licking and sucking, again. He was seriously, driving me insane!
I tucked my fingers over the top of his waistband, findng the button and opening it. I slowly pulled the zip down with one hand, resting the other on his stomach. His stomach muscles contracted as I slid his jeans down his hips, making sure that his boxer shorts followed too. As his clothing slid down his legs, pooling at his naked feet, he stepped out of them not losing contact or concentration as he kissed my flesh at the top of my bra. That was the next item to be disposed of.
"Lay down for me, Bella." He whispered. I disconnected myself from him and crawled onto the bed, turning over and laying down, resting my head on the pillows. He stood for a moment watching me, licking his lips. My eyes trailed from his eyes that were now so dark, I could hardly remember what colour they were ten minutes ago. He was breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took. His body was amazing. It glowed with the pale pink flush of anticipation.
When my eyes reached, what my trobbing centre craved, I smiled as I watched his cock twitch under the build up of his increasing excitement. I felt rediculous still wearing my jeans and quickly undid them as he began to crawl up the bed. I lifted up my hips and he pulled my jeans down, along with my panties, discarding them to the floor.
He placed his lips gently on my stomach, as I reached my fingers into his hair, tugging gently to bring him further up my body.
"Bella." He whispered. "I don't have any protection." I smiled.
"I'm on the pill. When was the last time you did this kind of thing, Carlisle?" I wouldn't be surprised if he told me three days ago.
"Umm, seven years." Holy fuck! Seven years! He couldn't be telling the truth, could he?
I cupped my hands around his face and pulled him to me. I looked him straight in the eyes. "You're telling the truth aren't you." I stated. He nodded, sincerely.
I pulled his face to mine, forcing my tongue into his mouth hungrily. He had gone seven years without sex and I was begging for it after just ten days. Ten days ago I was definitely not begging for it but now with Carlisle, I was. He had triggered something in me that I hoped would stay with me from now on. If I lost this feeling at the end of the holiday then I may as well become a nun.
The intensity within me grew and I flipped him over onto his back and straddled his hips. He looked up at me and grinned. I grinned back. We were so going to enjoy this.
I gently stroked his chest with the tips of my fingers. He shuddered slightly and I could feel goosebumps appear, where ever my fingers trailed. It was only to be expected that he would react this way. Seven years of not being touched intimately by a woman. Shit, how lucky was I to be that woman now? He grabbed my face between his green stained hands, pressing his mouth to mine again, our tongues twisting and tasting each other. Our mouths seemed to belong together, as if we'd always done this.
I could feel his cock tapping my backside. Begging to enter me.
I shifted my body slightly forward and up, ready to decsend. And then, in the next breath I did, enveloping him completely. He broke away from our kiss and groaned.
"God, Bella. You feel so good." He whispered, holding me close and kissing my neck. Of course I would. He hadn't been this close to a woman in seven fucking years!
I pushed myself upwards, leaning on his chest and pressed my thighs harder against his hips, to keep my balance, as I rode him. I reached my first high just the second time I came down on him. I hadn't come that fast, ever.
"God, your so wet, Bella." He mumbled. He closed his eyes, reaching out to palm my breasts. This only caused me to increase my pace. His cock hit my sensitive spot every time. I was breathing heavily by this time and so was he. I had come so many times that it was by now, one huge wave enveloping me. I thought I was going to pass out.
"I just knew you would feel like this, Carlisle." I gasped. "I dreamt about you and just knew you would make me feel like this." I was past caring, telling him the truth.
"You have no idea the thoughts I've been having about you, Bella." Oh God! He knew exactly what to say. As the words fell from his lips, my walls tightened even more and we both groaned at the same time. I could feel his body tensing ever so slightly, more than before. I didn't let up with my pace. I placed my hands behind me, gripping the tops of his strong thighs, just to make sure that I kept my balance.
I felt him pulsate inside me, deliciously. He was so close. I looked down at his face, sheer pleasure etched all over it, from his swollen pink lips, to the sheen of sweat on his forehead and the colour rising in his cheeks.
"Oh, Bella, I'm so close!" He breathed.
"I know and it's going to feel, fucking fantastic." I replied. He immediatley opened his eyes, surprised at my words. Shit, I even surprised myself!
His mouth hung open as he watched my body move backwards and forwards, riding him to the bitter end. And there it was. The final time I came down on him he spilled into me. We both shut our eyes to enjoy the intesity of the moment. The top of my scalp tingled in repsonse to the final high and I slowed down my pace gradually, still pulsating around him, milking him completely.
I could no longer sit upright. My thighs and arms gave out and I gently fell onto his chest, still connected. We were silent for a time. I listened to his heartbeat as it eased up to a more regular pattern. My heart eased too.
He trailed his fingers through my hair and kissed to top of my head.
"Why on earth did he let you go, Bella. The man was an idiot." I smiled and kissed his chest. We looked into each other's eyes.
"You say the sweetest things." I replied. "He didn't do what he should have done, in order to get this kind of result. I would call him inexperienced compared to you." I grinned.
"I'd call him plain stupid. I'm glad his was though. You would have had no reason to take a holiday on your own otherwise. And I wouldn't be feeling a beautiful girl in my arms right now." As he spoke he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my lips gently, once again.
We spent the best part of an hour in bed, talking, laughing and finishing the wine between us. It was the best afternoon I had ever experienced. I couldn't stop smiling and neither could he. I was beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin.
"I want to start on your picture tomorrow, Bella." He said, seriously.
"But what about your commissioned piece?" I countered.
"The light that I need for that painting, only lasts for a few hours in the morning. We can have lunch together and then make a start." I nodded, understanding completely.
"I'll cook tomorrow. It's the least I can do, for all you've done for me." I smiled. I wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"Okay, Bella. Now, before you disappear, how about a nightcap?" He grinned.
"Nightcap time is hours away." I retorted, gently.
"Indeed, Bella. Indeed." He answered, pulling me close to him again, kissing my neck and causing me to moan.
Hell would have to wait.
Right now, I was in heaven.
End of Chapter
Author's note; So, while I recover from all of that and clear my head to start thinking about the next chapter, let me know what you think of this liaison, ideally in a review. Good or bad, it's good to know what you think of it so far. Take care.