Author's Note: Alright, and here is the second chapter of the day...I really quite liked this one. Enjoy!

Summary:

"I know what you are," he said, now.

I stiffened, my eyes closed again, knowing that whatever was to come would probably change me forever.

"You're a loner," Sirius said, "A crazy, insane, demented, loner."

Gemma was a loner, there was no denying it, that is until James and Sirius concern themselves about her and Sirius figures out her so well kept secret, after a day of dodging questions, socializing with family and discovering a lot about herself the only thing one can do is become friends with the guy that you ultimately find yourself liking despite everything he has done to you. Set in the years before the first battle, in the years during the second battle and all the others in between meet the true love of Sirius Black, the girl that he would never be allowed to have if only to cherish the few moments in between. SB/OC/OC, LE/JP/SS

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, seeing as I am not J.K. Rowling. Basically nothing but Gemma is mine and even Gemma's name isn't mine...so...the only thing mine may be the plot but you never know...

OCTOBER, 1977

Only Fooling Myself

When he left me at the gates I smiled slightly, perhaps happy to be home. I didn't really consider Amelia's place home. I didn't think I would be spending a lot more time with her after Hogwarts, anyway even though I had not idea what would happen to me after Hogwarts, what I would be doing or even where I would be. I hoped that perhaps I would have a friend through it all and that, perhaps, I was to be as far from Sirius Black as it was possible to be. Of course, when I entered the common room, he was the only one there, as if he was waiting for me. He probably had been waiting for me,

"Gemma," He said, my name rolling off his name with such ease.

"Sirius," I said, before trying to bi-pass him and walk up to my dorm.

"Your leg is healed," He informed me.

"I didn't notice," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I won't tell anyone."

"About what?" I asked him.

He glared at me. "You know about what. I won't tell anyone. You should go talk to Remus, though; he's in the hospital wing. You'll see why when you do."

I was about to retort to this but he had already walked away. I didn't know how I felt about Sirius not acting like a jerk. I could deal with jerks much like how Sirius usually acted but him being nice to me, that bothered and scared me, I didn't like it one bit. After he left the common room, there wasn't really a reason for me to go to my dorm, my only reason before being that I wanted to get away from him, so I sat down by the dead fire, and of course, as most things tended to happen, Sirius came to my mind and I was thinking about him again, the way his shaggy black hair fell into his blue eyes. His smile and the way it could turn, in the flash of a moment, into a smirk. I really just couldn't believe I was thinking about him. I mean, this was Sirius Black, a marauder, and one of the most annoying people in Hogwarts, I considered saying that as quite a bit of something, not that this meant denying how cute he was, but what was that about Remus Lupin?

I had always liked Remus; he was a mixture of many different things, cleverness, sarcasm, a certain genius, and perhaps something more. Of course, granted, he was a bit of a weirdo. He had, on the other hand always been nice to me. His only flaw, in my opinion, was that he was a marauder and probably part of the pranks they were always playing on poor Severus, there had to be someone smart behind the plans, after all, granted they were all pretty smart.

Severus Snape. How to describe him, now that he has once more come into the equation? The simplest way was to say that he was a prick, not as much as Sirius was but just around there. Severus however had a reason behind his jerk like attitude and cynical sense of humor. Being teased and bullied like he was, after the kind of home life he lead. He was Lily's best friend until fifth year, his pride getting the better of him was what ended the friendship and since then he had been hanging around certain Slytherins that were, no doubt, up to something bad or on Voldemort's side.

I still talked to him sometimes, when the urge to hear something sarcastic thrown my way became just too much. He was an interesting person to talk to sometimes. He was pretty smart for his age and knew just so much about the dark arts and potions. I knew for a fact he was in love with Lily, however. I think it was really sad how stuck on her he seemed to be when Lily--it was actually quite clear to us with half a brain--enjoyed the attentions she was given by James, even if she denied it to his face.

-

Remus was asleep when I snuck into the infirmary. I could hear his even breathing even from the door. I wasn't just making a trip to see him but to steal some potions and salves for next full moon or time I end up falling down the stairs because I happened to see a floating piece of paper. I first walked to the stores near the office belonging to Madame Pomfrey. I knew where everything was and I hoped that she had enough for other patients so that I wasn't depriving someone of salve or potions. After opening the cabinets I began to slip a number of potion bottles and round salve boxes into a small bag. Once I had everything I needed, I walked back to Remus, opening his hangings. He was turned away from me, curled up in a small ball. I wasn't sure if to wake him, but then for some reason I knew that I had to talk to him. I reached with my hand to touch his shoulder but suddenly my wrist was turned slightly. I let out a small gasp of, not of pain but surprise. I hadn't been expecting this. Remus Lupin had never hit me as a werewolf, but as I pulled my wrist out of his hand and I looked down at his eyes I knew he was a werewolf and I knew what Sirius had meant and I knew he would tell no one.

"Hi," I said, not knowing what else I could say.

He blushed. "Sorry, I...you startled me."

I nodded, not knowing what else I could do.

He seemed to not be able to say anything either.

It's was as if we both knew what we both were, we both knew but we didn't want to admit it, because admitting it, was admitting to another person that you were, in fact, a werewolf. For some reason I reached for his hand and I gave it a squeeze.

"Why do you stay here, in the hospital wing?" I asked him.

"I don't like to see my friends after, a shadow of what I am remains and I hate them seeing that," He said, now, looking a little like his old self. The confidence I had seen hiding behind his amber--when had they become amber?--eyes gone; his eyes, now that I took a second look at them, back to their friendly brown.

"You haven't embraced him, have you, the wolf, I mean?"

He looked at me strangely. "It's a curse, not something to be embraced."

Now, I understood. This was the reason for Sirius wanting me to talk to him. He didn't want to comfort me but to help his friend and while I was offended I also thought this act surprisingly sweet. He was loyal to his friends and he cared for them, I liked this about him. While I was thinking about what I would say to him, Remus looked out the window. I had never noticed the certain grace he had about him when he moved, like a wolf. It made me smile slightly. Aplomb. That was one of the only abilities that I didn't have, even in my werewolf form.

I was about to finally speak when I heard footsteps. They weren't far off and were headed to the hospital wing. Remus pulled at my arm until I was sprawled half on the bed, half on him. He smiled slightly as I righted myself, my head resting on his chest and my arm around his waist. He smelt musky and of chocolate. I closed my eyes taking in his smell and then I heard the curtains being opened and then Sirius was talking.

"Oh, my heart!" He said dramatically. "I never would have expected this! Did she seduce you as she has seduced me, Moony?"

I sat up. Remus was grinning from his spot on the bed. Sirius was laughing silently next to the bed, clutching his stomach. I glared at both.

"Aw, Gemma, don't get mad," Sirius said, having now walked around the bed and attempted to hug me.

"Black," I whined.

Remus was grinning while he watched us. I smiled at him but glared at Sirius.

Sirius looked at me with a mockingly hurt expression before he fell to the ground clutching his heart, ever one for the dramatic.

"This, I believe, is the moment I head off to bed. It's been a long day. Remus, good-night, I'll speak to you tomorrow. Sirius, I'll try really hard to avoid you."

With that said I walked out the door but of course, like a lost puppy, Sirius followed taking my hand without all the dramatics--for once--and walked beside me. For some reason I let him hold my hand, maybe it was just that the small tingle I got when the contact began was something I really liked, or maybe it was just that he was quiet about it and seemed almost like he understood that I need the quiet and that I didn't need him to be exuberant and loud; that I really didn't need him to try to impress me because already I was impressed.

"Gemma," He whispered once we got to the common room.

I turned to him. "Yes, Sirius?"

"I never noticed you before today and I'm sorry for not noticing you. I mean I've seen you around, obviously, but until this morning you seemed to be just, well, normal and ordinary but you're not, are you?"

He seemed nervous and it made me a little amused. I had always noticed him but I had never thought much of him and I found it ironic that he didn't notice me but that the moment he did he thought something of me.

"Sirius," I said; before he went on to tell me something I wouldn't like. "You've officially known me for one day. You were a jerk, and to put it plainly, I have wanted nothing to do with you but you surprised me today and I offer you friendship but nothing more I don't think anything could be built on one day."

He looked put out for a moment but then he was grinning widely and he nodded but I knew that I couldn't be friends with him. I was afraid of being his friend, not only because of all the pranks and because people would notice me but because I knew that liked him I had noticed something in him and I liked him, a crush if you will, and I was scared that with it being Sirius that I would be in for heartbreak.

"Good-night," I told him and walked away before he could speak again.

Author's Note: Alright..so after this chapter things take a twist...because this is a ficlet...I wanted to move things along...so next chapter is set in January 1978...where we will see the growth of my original character...well, only a little...might post that sometime before next friday...