Darling So It Goes
by Starrify

Notes: This chapter will give you a small glimpse of Cagalli's life after their break up. I've decided not to put flashbacks of what happened while they dated; instead it'll be written in between lines, so you have to pay attention if you want to learn what happened. ;)

Sunday, 27 January 80 C.E.

"We don't have one ready to go, so would you like me to arrange a bouquet for you?"

"Yes, please." Cagalli returned the guy's smile. "But nothing too fancy; just a simple plastic wrap would do."

The lad nodded and went to the back of the store, probably to get his supplies. Cagalli continued to look at the different flowers, wondering what each one meant. Finally, Cagalli turned around as she heard a bell tinkle, signifying the entrance of another customer—and cursed under her breath once she saw who it was.

"Careful, Zala," she warned playfully. "I'm beginning to think that you're stalking me."

"I frequent this store, actually," Athrun remarked, smirking as he now had the upper-hand somehow. "Unlike the time I bumped into you at that Tiger café place, I actually know the owner of this shop."

"You mean that kid with unnatural red highlights?"

"You heard that, Vino? I told you it wouldn't work on girls."

"Yeah, I already got rejected enough because of it," the boy answered as he brought back some colored plastic and ribbons. "Welcome back, Athrun. When did you get back to Aprilius?"

"Three weeks ago, Vino," he answered. "Anyway; I called earlier so you have my order ready, right?"

"Yep, it's just at the back. Problems under the sheets again?" The young man named Vino cackled. He took Cagalli's order of gladioluses and began to arrange them. "I've known Meyrin since we were kids. I'm doing you a favor when I tell you to get away from her."

Athrun winced at what Vino had told him. He'd been considering breaking it off; their relationship had been strained because of how often he had to travel—the distance didn't bother her, but the possibility of infidelity. Meyrin had extreme jealous tendencies; and it didn't help that Cagalli had 'ruined' their anniversary night.

"That's rough, buddy," Cagalli offered with a small grin. "If it's any consolation, I don't like her that much."

"How is that supposed to console me?"

"Beats me." Cagalli shrugged. "She seems just the kind of crazy you'd be attracted to."

"Of course you'd know what I'd be attracted to."

"Of course." Cagalli winked at him as she handed over her credit card to Vino, who swiped away at it happily. He gave Cagalli her order and thanked her for doing business at his shop. "Anyway, it was nice to see you again; but I'll be heading to Martius now."

"Wait!" Athrun called out before she could step out of the shop. "I'm going there, too."

"Meyrin lives there?"

"With her sister, yes. I didn't see your car outside, so I'm assuming it's still under maintenance?"

"It's at the car wash, actually."

"Ah, because of the rain yesterday."

"Yeah." Cagalli affirmed as she eyed the huge bouquet Vino handed to Athrun. It was grandiose, for sure—and definitely put her small gladioluses to shame. It was an arrangement of red and white azaleas, and small stems of baby's breath scattered around. "But I wouldn't want to inconvenience you. The bus passes by where I need to be."

"If the bus passes by there, then I'll also be passing by there," Athrun argued. "Alright, don't think of it as another favor to you. It'll ease my mind knowing that I didn't waste gas on a trip for one."

"Alright," Cagalli acquiesced. "But I owe you nothing."

Athrun unconsciously grimaced. There was a time when they would promise each other the world, as if they owed one another everything. But that time had passed, he reminded himself, and their younger selves were worlds away—in this new age, they were simply friends.

He nodded; she waited for him to step out and lead her to his car as he had done just a week ago. She entered the passenger seat, no longer as eager as she was when she first rode in his car. Cagalli had to admit, she had enjoyed what small conversation they had; he had made her laugh, like he always did. But then she accepted that nothing between them would ever be the same again—and that if she let her defenses down for even one second, she wouldn't know how much she'd hurt herself again.

"So," Athrun started as they entered the highway. "It'll be another ninety minutes before we reach Martius. Surely you're not planning to not talk to me."

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"First, where you want to be dropped off."

"The Martius Dawn Cemetery," Cagalli replied without skipping a beat. "And second?"

"The truth."

"Ah," Cagalli said with an awkward laugh. "For that, you'll have to give me at least a three-day notice."

"Fine, fine," Athrun answered, laughing as well. "Okay, well I don't know what else I want to hear from you."

"How about you let me sleep and wake me up when we get there?"

"That's fine, too." Athrun looked over at her affectionately, having a glimpse of a flashback of the times she'd fall asleep on him, on the days after they had exams. He remembered how they'd be talking and then she'd just randomly started snoring; and that he'd steal a kiss and she'd wake up.

Worlds away, he reminded himself as he focused on the road once more. At the back seat was his bouquet for Meyrin; in her hands, her flowers for someone who must have mattered enough for her to visit in the cemetery. Athrun couldn't think of any of their friends from university to have prematurely passed, and so this must be a friend of hers from her new life.

Eventually an hour had passed—and he hadn't noticed that he was over-speeding, because there was no other way he would have gotten to Martius City that fast if he wasn't. When they reached the driveway before the cemetery, Athrun parked at the side of the road and nudged Cagalli awake.

Her eyes fluttered open, and the gold of them filled Athrun's own eyes with longing.

"We're here already?"

"Yeah."

Cagalli rubbed at her eyes and turned to look outside, frowning as she saw the sky.

"It's going to rain."

"You don't have an umbrella?"

"The weather report said it'd be cloudy."

"The report for Aprilius is different for Martius."

"I forget that sometimes," Cagalli defended herself with a yawn. "Thank you—"

"No, no," Athrun cut her off—he couldn't leave her in the rain; not as she left him before. "I'll drive you in, and then I'll bring you to the bus terminal afterwards."

Cagalli smiled, looking grateful; looking as beautiful as ever.

"You're being too nice to me," she pointed out as he put the car back in drive, and then she pointed out the directions to the grave she was visiting. "Seriously. No sane ex would do this."

"Well," Athrun rebuked as he parked near a small grassy hill. "Once upon a time, you were the kind of crazy I was attracted to."

Cagalli ignored how her stomach suddenly churned at his comment. She stepped out and walked up the hill, clutching her small bouquet tightly to her chest. Finally, she arrived in front of his grave—and took away the flowers she had brought last month, which had naturally wilted away.

Ahmed El-Fasi.

"Hey," she whispered, laying down the new set of flowers over his name. And then she sat on the grass, as she did whenever she visited. "I'm back."

And there is so much she wanted to say, to tell him; that Athrun was back in her life and that she was starting to think that she may have never fallen out of love with him. That she was sorry—so, so sorry.

"Did you love him?" Minutes later, a voice asked from behind her, and she doesn't need to turn around to know it's Athrun and that he's holding an umbrella over her head.

I wish I had, was what she wanted to answer, because the truth was exactly that, and maybe she wouldn't be feeling this way if she had; but instead, what passed through her lips was, "You're not the only one allowed to try to move on."

Try. Athrun sighed, not liking where this conversation was going. He held out one hand to help Cagalli stand up; while the other put down the bouquet he was supposed to give to Meyrin. The blonde looked at him questioningly, shocked at his actions; but instead he just shrugged.

"It's raining," he told her. "That Aisha lady said you liked to order cappuccino when it rains."

"You remember that."

"I remember everything."

Athrun interlocked his fingers with hers and guided her down the hill. Around them, the rain continued to fall. Cagalli had to let go of the warmth of his hand when he helped her into his car; but then clung unto it again once he entered the driver's side.

What she didn't want to admit—to him, to herself; to anyone else—was that she remembered everything, too.

"You have to let my hand go if you want me to find us a warm café to get your cappuccino," Athrun eventually said; but he himself wasn't making a move to let go of her hand. "Come on, Cagalli."

Once she released his hand, he drove them out of Martius; Cagalli recognized the highway going back to Aprilius. They both sat there in silence, thinking of what had just happened. The car still smelled of azaleas; and outside it was still raining. For a second, she considered grabbing his hand away from the stick shift—something she used to do five years ago.

But she didn't, for their younger selves were worlds away.