AN: Special thanks to tiamat100 who gave that little boost to finish the chapter! Whoo! yay! I've been on a bit of a slump because I wrote a terrible last chapter for Into the World, but I have recovered! Yay! So, here you go- Charlie Swan and what he will never do! Oh, and just a note- the only thing that didn't happen during New Moon was the proposal. Yes, they made the deal, but he didn't really propose. This takes places during Eclispe, ignoring Victoria and Seattle. Get it? Got it? Good! Oh and sorry guys... Jake got all the cookies.
Yes, and now some self advertisement for the HP fans- Hera Granger: Wrong Gender, Wrong Generation is now up and running! Girl!HArry and Time Travel all included! Yes! Two of my favorite plot elements! Check it out, I don't think it's cliche!
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, the Cullens make lists, and so do you!
Vampires are cool, Werewolves are sweet, I do not own, so lawyers- take your seat!
Bella POV
"Bella, sweetheart, are you ready for this?" Edward asked calmly, looking into my eyes with his molten gold ones. I found myself incapable of speech for a moment and he smiled at his skill. "I'll take that as a no. Can I give you some encouragement?" He leaned in a kissed me softly and quickly on the lips. I leaned back onto my front door, dazzled once more.
"Um…" I smiled slyly back at him. "Can I have a little more encouragement?" He grinned and pushed my hair out of my face. Slowly, he began to lean in and-
"Bella! Come inside, it's raining, you're going to freeze!" Charlie yelled through the window. I groaned at his intentional timing and gripped Edward's hand, hiding my ring.
"Sorry, Dad, just lingering!" I pried open the door and stepped into the hall. Edward stood outside, not quite on the "welcome" mat- he knew that he wasn't. "Can Edward come in? Alice is driving him insane, he wanted to escape for a little while!"
Charlie grumbled something about not staying too long, so I leaned outside and pulled my fiancé in by the hand.
"How are we going to do this?" I whispered softly into his ear. His eyes sparkled for a moment as he swiftly shut the door and led me into the living room, where Charlie had seated himself.
"Chief Swan, I'm sorry for intruding. Alice was being a bit annoying today, but she also threatened to give Bella a makeover. We all know that if I'm not here, she'll take her, regardless of her protests. Besides, Bella and I were going to do homework," Edward said to Charlie politely. He just grumbled and kept his eyes on the TV. The commercial ended and I perched myself onto the edge of the couch.
"Dad, do you mind if Edward gets a snack? I already ate this afternoon, Alice shared with me, but she wouldn't let Edward have anything." Charlie motioned soundlessly towards the kitchen and I nodded for Edward to go. He took the hint and left the room quickly. "Can I change the channel?"
"Oh sure, Bells," my dad said, his mood lifting immediately. "We haven't done anything for a while, just the two of us. And I didn't know you liked TV!"
"I don't," I recalled smiling, flipping through to a wedding show. Perfect. I thought.I put down the remote and settled down for the fight.
"Any particular reason we're watching weddings?" Charlie's brow was crinkled in confusion. Just then, Edward strode out of the kitchen, a gummy packet in one hand and a juice box in the other. He handed me the juice box.
"Here, you didn't drink anything all day." I took it gratefully, just noticing how dry my mouth was. Oh how in the world could I do this? He opened the gummy packet under Charlie's strict gaze and popped one in his mouth. As soon as Charlie turned away, he grimaced and spit out the snack. He hid it in his pocket.
"So… wait a second, Bella, don't you have something to say to Charlie?" Edward said quietly. I glared at him, really annoyed that he brought it up.
"Yeah, you see, today in school, I- well, it was really-" I stuttered, trying to get the right words out.
"Bella, Alice, and I all got detention for tomorrow. It was really nothing, we were just messing around, but the teachers found out, so we got in trouble. I won't go on pinning it on Alice- though I really should, it was mostly her idea- because I did play a pretty big part in it." Charlie was angry now. Not because I had detention, but because he thought it was Edward's fault. I stood before there could be a fight- or worse, a ban.
"Dad! Edward! It was nothing, honestly, Jessica had it coming anyhow. She was insulting me! Edward, don't you have a copy of that list she made?" Maybe if Charlie could see the list, he would get mad at Jess and not me…
"Yes, right here! Comments and all! I copied it down as you two fought about Romeo… I do feel upstaged, honestly! " Edward put on his mock hurt look as he pulled the paper from his pocket.
"Well, Romeo would kill himself for Juliet!" Edward snorted, probably wishing he was as lucky as Romeo.
"I would kill myself if it meant being with you forever! Isn't that what happened a few months ago?" he whispered quickly in my ear. Before my dad could notice, I whispered back.
"Yeah, next time, make sure you have your facts right!" I laughed as he passed the list to Charlie. He took it with hesitation, but once he saw it, his face exploded with rage again.
"She wrote this? Or did you make this all up?" He was suspicious now. I groaned and was about to state my case when Edward's cell phone rang.
"Hello? Jessica, honestly, it was all in good fun, we didn't mean to… oh, I see… well, actually, we were just getting around to that… you can ask Alice, we know nothing about it yet… WHAT? Why would you… I can assure you that Bella is not cheating on me… at least, I don't think she is… Bella, honey, are you cheating on me with Mike Newton?"
"No!" I was insulted that Jessica could even think such a thing!
"Eric?"
"Nope!"
"Tyler?"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Jacob Black?"
"I chose you, didn't I?"
"Romeo?"
"Edward! Now you're being ridiculous!"
"Sorry, I just had to have some fun with that! Jessica, I would trust Bella with my life, of she says she's not, I believe her… yes, even about Jacob… I don't know! That's Alice and Bella's job, not mine! Can I leave now? We're sorry about what happened in school, okay? We were just having some fun! Alights, we'll see you in school tomorrow. Bye, Jess!" He flipped the phone shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That girl gives me headaches."
"What were you just getting around to?" Charlie stood to confront us. Edward stepped forward and grabbed my hand. I shivered at his cold, rock hard touch, but was pleased. My ring dug up against my skin as he lifted it and Charlie's eyes grew wide.
"Bella- you're only- but he just- I- why? When?"
"Dad, I-" Edward interrupted me mid-sentence.
"Chief Swan, I would like to assure you that I love Bella in every way possible. I just don't see the point of waiting to spend your life with someone. For all we know, your life could be gone tomorrow." He turned to me and spoke the last part so softly and earnestly that tears actually filled my eyes. I leaned forward for a kiss, but he stopped me. "Not in front of your father," he whispered and I understood.
"How do I know you won't leave her again?" Charlie accused.
"Sir, it killed me just as much as it killed Bella when I left. And I will feel forever guilty for the fact that I caused her so much pain. Please, sir, I promise I would never leave her again. I know that we don't really need permission to marry, seeing as we're both 18, but she- I mean, we know it would mean a lot to us if you came to the wedding and gave us your blessing. Besides, isn't it the father's duty to give away the bride?" Edward looked so worried and concerned that my heart broke. He really wanted Charlie to accept him!
"Dad," I sat down on the couch, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm ready. Edward's been talking to me about this for a while, preparing me and all. He didn't really expect me to say yes so quickly. But, of course, Alice intervened and he popped the question. Wanna see?" I pulled out his list and showed that to Charlie. He looked at it in wonder.
"That's an… interesting way to propose," Charlie cleared his throat a few times.
"Edward, how about you go home and talk to Alice about some things?" Edward nodded and began to exit the room, giving me a (quick) peck on the cheek and Charlie a wave. I called after him, a thought dawning on me. "And don't let Alice go shopping! She'll have my dress, her dress, AND Rosalie's dress picked out before we even have a date!" His laughed echoed through the house in a pleasant way. Then it was just me and Charlie.
He sighed heavily and shook his head.
"Why? Why would you? How is it possible to love him even after he… after he left?"
"Dad, Edward is my life. I would do anything for him. Why don't you understand that? I know what I'm getting myself into, but I don't think I'll end up like you and Renee. We'll last, I know we will!" Charlie closed his eyes, clearly thinking hard. "Dad, I will assure you that Edward will never leave me again. Ever."
"Bella, just- I need some time to think, alright? I'm going in for an early night." He went up the stairs, two at a time and I heard his bed groan loudly. Glancing at the clock, I realized it was only six. He must have been really upset.
Edward POV
I slipped quietly into Bella's room as she showered, Charlie's thoughts invading my mind. He was dozing off to sleep, thinking some not so pleasant things about me… I cringed into the empty room. I do like to keep my mind PG-13 rated at most times.
Wonder if I should show Bella the list… was his last thought before drifting off to sleep. A list? I had to see this. Ugh, now I was getting an obsession. Maybe I should buy one of those books of lists… that would keep me busy for a while, right?
I slipped quietly into Charlie's room, grabbing a pen and paper on the way. Sure enough, a list was sitting on the night table. I quickly copied it down and ran from the room. I was back into Bella's rocking chair in the nick of time, just before Bella emerged from the bathroom.
"Edward!" she whisper shouted before fliging herself in my lap. I laughed- she sounded so excited!
"What's so exciting? Did you think I wouldn't come?" I questioned, pulling her closer to my ice cold chest. I reached over and pulled a blanket between us, just so she wouldn't freeze to death.
"Well," Bella blushed and I fought myself to stay calm. The thirst burned, but we were engaged now… I couldn't hurt her if I tried. "Actually, I thought Charlie's thoughts would keep you away."
"They nearly did," I admitted, not mentioning the list. She fell asleep promptly and I carefully lied her in bed. Just as I was tucking the blanket around her fragile, pale body, a rustling by the window interrupted.
"You didn't really think that I would let you do this alone, did you?" Alice laughed, climbing in gracefully. She leaned out the window and called to her husband. "Hurry up, Jasper! He's going to start!" I was laughing so hard I could barely take a breath to shush them with. Jasper tumbled onto the floor and within seconds, we were all gathered in a circle on the ground.
"What is this?" Jasper said, eyeing the group distastefully. "The Society of Power-Having Vampires?"
"No, silly!" Alice chimed, her voice low so Charlie wouldn't hear. "It was the Society of Power-Having Vegetarian Bloodsuckers! Don't you remember? It was only three decades ago!"
"Oh, I remember that!" I groaned. "The 70s! That was another reason I hated that decade!" We laughed, reminiscing, before getting down to work. It was just before dawn when Alice and Jasper snuck back out the window. Bella mumbled just a few more words in her sleep before awaking.
"No… Jess, no, I don't like him! Mike, get away from me! Tyler, I'm not going to the dance with you, I'm engaged! Stop it… make them leave me alone Jake- don't sure, sure me! Get your furry butt over here!" Where was I in this dream?? "Edward, make Jacob come a help you save me! Jake, finally! Edward, Jake… Edward, love…." She shot straight up in bed.
"Oh my gosh, what did you hear?" Her hair was everywhere and her face was panicked. I pulled my face into a smile and lied.
"Nothing much, just the same as usual." Her relief was evident. "Go get ready, I'll be outside." I jumped out the window and to the ground. Sitting in the Volvo with minutes to spare, I decided to take one more look at the list.
What Charlie Swan Will Never Do- this is only concerning Edward Cullen and his family! I have more somewhere…(Commentary by Edward, Alice, and Jasper.)
1. I can never kill my daughter's boyfriend. But now he's her fiancé, so I guess it's okay. Um, Charlie? Sir? You're not serious are you? I think he is! Yep, totally. Edward, Emmett and I have already placed our bets on if he tries to shoot you or if he'll go at you with bare hands. Not funny!
2. I can never accept Edward Cullen. Don't worry, he's not accepted in our family either! Hey! Oh come on, you know we love you (but not in the creepy incest way).
3. I can never shake the feeling that there's something weird about that family… Ha, a lot weirder than you think! Believe me, I know! Oh yes, all hail the all-knowing master! Jeez, I'm the one that sees the future! Calm her down, will you? Sure thing, Edward… Hey wait, did Bella just scrape herself while she's sleeping? I gotta get outta here, I see it! Be back when the smell clears up! Bella didn't start bleeding…He's trying to get out of calming you… oh no, I'll be ripped to shreds.
4. I can never believe Billy's stories about "Cold Ones" or whatever it was. Oh, you better!
5. I can't help but feel like that kid has been in the house when he shouldn't be! Like at night… Like now, you mean? Edward, I think he means like now! No, duh, he means right now! Alice, honestly! And Charlie, if you somehow find this, it is not what you think! I would know! There you go with the all-knowing again!
6. I can't give Bella up at this age, especially not now! I feel like I'm going to lose her forever. I feel that way too… I'm sorry, Charlie, sincerely sorry. It's entirely my fault. All mine, and I won't deny that. But that girl is stubborn! AND she agreed to my requirement so I have to! I wish she wouldn't either, but she'll be fine. We take good care of our family. Maybe, in a long, long time, we'll come visit and you'll know everything.
7. I can't deny Bella her happiness. Which is why I'll give her my blessing and try to accept Edward. Which is why I'll bring her down the aisle. Which is why I won't kill her fiancé. Which is why I'll protect her and Edward when Renee comes up to kill them both. Which is why I'll let go. Thank you, Charlie. I really appreciate it. It means so much to me. Tear, tear, that is so sweet! Charlie, you are the best father Bella could ever wish for!! Charlie, I know for a fact that Edward is grateful, relieved, happy, and that he cares about you a lot. Believe me on this. I know. Jasper! You're back! And not you too with the all-knowing!! THAT'S ME AND ME ALONE! Mood swings, honey, you know I hate them! Good luck, Eddy! Jasper!!
You do realize that Charlie's never reading this, right? Too bad, I think he would have liked to. Maybe he will, someday. Maybe we'll let him. And Alice, what's the vote? Um… I have to present it to the family first. You're a yes, Jasper, you're a yes as well… I'm a yes, totally, Charlie's the best… I'll fill you in later with the rest of the votes! Bye!!
Bella POV
I slid into the car, after Edward had gotten out and held the door open for me like a gentleman. I could feel my dad's eyes watching our every move from the front step. Edward had just been about to start the car when Charlie tapped on his window. Of course, it was rolled down in an instant.
"Yes, sir? I hope you don't mind me driving her to school. We can take her car, if you'd like!" Suck-up, I thought, forever grateful that my mind was blocked.
"No, no, it's okay. I- I just wanted to say-" Charlie was getting choked up now, but Edward just waited patiently, his face blocking all expression except hope. "I wanted to say that I accept you as my son. When the wedding again?" Edward's face broke out into a smile so wide and genuine that I felt myself wanting to throw myself into his arms.
"August. Definitely August," I said confidently. Edward turned, a playful look in his eyes.
"When did we decide this?"
"When I saw the forecast for next week," I teased. "I want it to be nice out, so we'll have to postpone it.' He chuckled, leaning forward to kiss me lightly on the cheek.
"Insane. I'm getting married to an insane woman."
"I told you my brain was messed up." Charlie watched our exchange with curious eyes, but I pushed it away.
"Never. Impossible."
"A lot of impossible things happened to me. Like having a lion fall in love with a little lamb like me," I began reciting one of our first conversations.
"What a stupid lamb," he chuckled into my ear, playing right along.
"What a masochistic lion. Besides, you're the stupid, shiny Volvo owner!" I chided right back. The look on his face was priceless. I guess I forgot to mention that part.
"Did you just use the words 'stupid' and 'Volvo' in the same sentence?" he growled playfully.
"Not the Volvo, you silly vegetarian! You!" I laughed as Charlie became more and more confused. "And you thought you were being upstaged by Romeo! I'm being upstaged by a car!"
"Romeo is a fictional character. A car is real!" Charlie waved as we pulled out of the driveway and down the block.
"It's not alive! It's not living!" I argued with him uselessly, avoiding eyes. As soon as we made eye contact I would lose, I knew it.
"Neither am I," Edward finished the conversation, a smile tugging on his lips. I sighed and looked at the glimmering ring on my finger. Engaged, married, vampire. All in order, all too soon.
So that's that! I know Charlie's list is different, but I really wanted it focus on one thing. Still, I like this one... it's sweet. Reviews make me write faster (proof at the beginning of chapter!) Heyy, I can see the reviews! Here;s a nice one... b00kw0rm, come on, I need to tell you about this one! Alice how many times did I tell you to not go into her ANs? Alice, sweetheart, please leave the author alone! Oh, wait, she;s right, this one is nice! OH B00KW0RM! Coming! Just a second! See? Alice sees reviews and she'll be sad if you don't make her vision come true. Plus, you gett Edward/Jacob hugs (depending on who you like). What? NOOO!! I"M WITH BELLA PEOPLE! GET IT RIGHT! AHHH! This is Jacob... and I don't mind hugs! Bella won't have me so I'll be okay with the hugs! Unless I imprint. Then it's not- oh, look that girl is drools Gotta go. HEY SAM! QUIL! EMBRY! I imprinted!! Um... bye guys! Well, you can ambush the,. Cya next time! Any ideas on who to tell next? I think it should be one of the Cullens or Renee- Alice is not having one because then she can't comment, Jasper I don't know to well (luv him though!) but maybe Rosalie, Emmett, or Carlisle and Esme (they're a package deal). It'll probably be Renne though... how they'll get comments I have no idea. I'll work it out!