Chapter four: asexual beings

Fionna sank deep in her bath tub. The warm water encased all her body and half her face as she stared at the swirls of soap. Her mind had started to twist in circles as she sighed through her nose. The water smelled of warm vanilla, the strong scent of her shampoo seeping in to her pores. Today…was strange. She knew why, but she didn't know why that reason made it so strange. Does Marshall…like her? She kept arguing why he would or would not like her, but in the end it always came out as inconclusive. Dumb vampire and his stupid mixed messages…she wishes he'd either fess up or shut that flapping mouth. Really soft flapping mouth. A soft, flapping mouth with the most addicting lips she's ever tasted.

She hated how short those kisses were, and how he laughed at the thought of making out with her again made her cringe. He made her feel stupid, but he makes everyone feel stupid. That's just him. It was getting old for Fionna, and she wanted him to stop, but he only would if he saw her as his equal…like, sexually? Maybe, he has talked about his grand fucking skills before he explained things to Fionna. She always thought he was talking about grand fucking skills, not grand fuckingskills. Now she understood. He was bragging about his penis or whatever. Which was quite floppy. Marshall did mention something about it becoming erect before being able to have sex…but how would she do that? Ugh, she still knows nothing after all that explaining! Fionna lifted her head from the water and gave a frustrated sigh.

"He left everything out!" She muttered to herself. Well, not everything…he did tell her about that one thing. She couldn't remember the name, but she did remember how much he emphasized it would make her feel.

"One touch, and you'll be trembling with pleasure."

"It feels way more than good. It feels so good you would scream."

One touch between the…what are they called again. Lybria? Lydia? Lysolma? Something with an L for sure. Anyways, one touch between the whatsisname and her body would fill with pleasure. It was tempting, but should she do it? Fionna glanced towards the animal skins that serviced as a door. Would she make a sound? Would Cake hear? The blond opened her legs and looked down. Everything was distorted in the water, but it still didn't look that pretty. Are all vaginas not so pretty? She shrugged. Penises aren't exactly the best things to look at either. Fionna decided people don't really seduce each other with their baby making bits.

She glanced to the door briefly before drifting her hand between her legs under the water. Another sigh escaped her lips as she spread her lyaba-what-a-what. Where was it again? He said something about it being first, so at the top? Her finger grazed up her sex and she shivered. She's never touched herself like this. It was…different. She did it again and felt tingles coming from it, shivering once again and then stroking more towards the top. Fionna grunted as the tingling started to grow. How could she feel like this. It was odd, but she was starting to see how good it felt as she stroked faster. Fionna bit her lip as her heart raced and her lungs demanded more air. Her body was starting to feel as if it was on fire. She couldn't believe how fast the sensations grew, her body starting to twitch when she hit a certain spot. Fionna bit her lip and grabbed the edge of the tub with her free hand, gripping it with all her might as she started to pant. Glob, what if Marshall was doing this?

The simple thought made Fionna whine, her free hand instantly flying up to cover her mouth as she glanced towards the door. Cake must be too preoccupied with the meatloaf. Thank glob. Her mind resumed the idea of Marshall. The sound of his husky chuckle would be the first thing she'd hear if he was here. He'd tease her and joke about how sex-crazed she already was after just learning about it. She'd pull him close and kiss him again, tasting those addicting lips once again as he'd slip his fingers between her legs. Her hand muffled the sound of her moan, that idea was enough to kill her. She wanted it so badly. She wanted to feel his lips down her neck and his hands all over her body. She wanted him to make her feel this good.

"Marshall," she breathed and let her head fall back, her hand still firmly pressed over her mouth while she continued to stroke her clit. She removed her hand temporarily to allow herself to breath and quietly pant. "Marshall…"

Fionna felt herself get higher and higher as she pressed harder and harder. She was desperate to keep this amazing feeling, and the only way to keep it was to build it until it finally burst inside her and she came for the first time. A squeak managed to pierce her vocal chords as she felt the release and tensed up in the warm water. Once she relaxed and fell back, she took a few minutes to catch her breath before smiling and laughing at herself. She had no idea what she just did. All she knew was that she wanted Marshall to make her feel that way. Over and over again. Then she suddenly remembered she was just debating whether or not he actually liked her and frowned. If she wanted that she was gonna have to do some real investigating rather than a physical investigation. She frowned.

What evidence did she have to prove he liked her? He didn't really hang out with any other girls, right? He only hangs out with his old band mates, her, sometimes PG, and some other creepy monsters that weren't girls. Maybe she could talk to PG and ask if Marshall has told him anything that would help. What else could help her decide? He did show her his penis…except he was very unwilling to do it. She had to blackmail him to get him to drop his pants, and he was blushing the whole time. He was impatient and snappy, and was obviously embarrassed. Honestly she would've thought he'd be more proud of it like 'yeah, of course I'll show you my penis, it's fucking rad," or something. But no, he was shy, and mortified. He was so…not him.

Fionna thought long and hard in her warm bath tub, trying to find a definite piece of evidence that would prove he liked her. What if someone else asked to see his penis? Would he say no, or would be proudly present it to him or her? What if Fionna asked to see someone's else's penis? Would they show it to her, or would they say no and call her weird for wanting to see their penis? Damn this was a hard case to crack. She always went to one person when she needed to crack a case…and he was the perfect guy to ask.

Fionna strolled through the candy kingdom, happy that she had managed to convince Cake not to come with her. If she tagged along there's no telling what she would do to get rid of her. She knocked on the tall doors of Gumball's castle and waited for Peppermint to answer. When she did she smiled up to Fionna.

"Good morning, Fionna. Are you here to see Prince Gumball?" She asked. Fionna nodded.

"Yes, I am."

"Okay then, right this way," Peppermint said as she lead the way. She lead Fionna down to the kitchen (of course) and found Gumball dropping some chemicals on what looked like a freshly baked pie. After the sixth or seventh drop the pie suddenly spouted evil green eyes and a vicious snarl.

"Oh plonk!" Gumball shouted as it jumped to attack him.

"Hiya!" Fionna rushed over and threw her fist in to the evil pastry, splattering crust and sweet apple bits everywhere.

"Ah, Fionna, thank glob you're here," he smiled and picked off a piece of crust from his clothes.

"No prob, PG," she replied.

"Prince Gumball, Fionna is here to speak to you," Peppermint announced.

"Thank you, Peppermint, you are dismissed," he said.

"Yes, Prince Gumball," she bowed and left.

"Okie dokie, what can I do for you, Fionna?" He asked as soon as peps was gone.

"I need you to show me your penis," she told him bluntly. Gumball blinked and dropped his jaw.

"Pardon?"

"Your penis, I need you to show me it," she rephrased. He raised a single thick brow.

"Why are you asking this?"

"Uh…well, it's a long story," she said.

"Start." Fionna sighed.

"I was talking with Marshall about Mrs. Pig being pregnant, and then he started making sex jokes that I didn't get at the time. So he gave me the talk and…I asked him to show me his penis as a joke because I hadn't seen one before…" she explained.

"Did he?" Gumball asked.

"I wasn't really expecting him to do it. It was just a stupid joke, but I couldn't back out because he would've gotten angry about it and be like 'you should've joke about that crap' and whatever."

"So…he did." Fionna signed and nodded.

"Yeah."

"Okay, and why are you requesting to see mine?" He questioned. Fionna blushed.

"Well, I'm a little confused. You see, Marshall had been sending mixed massages lately, and I can't really tell if he likes me or not. I think he might, but he could just be extra flirty sometimes. Anyways, I was curious if he showed me because I joked about going out and finding out for myself if he didn't, or because he actually liked me in a way," she explained. Gumball blinked. "Never mind…forget I asked. Sorry."

"It's fine, but I'm still lost on why you want to see my penis."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I was thinking that guys don't just show their penises to just anyone. So if I asked someone else and they said no then that would mean that he did want me to see it. Although he was quite embarrassed. Maybe he wanted me to see it in a different kinda situation…" Fionna trailed off in to thought, her brain starting to hurt from all the thinking while Gumball sighed.

"I guess it's not that obvious to everyone," he muttered.

"Huh?"

"Maybe it's because I've known Marshall for so long, but it's painfully obvious to me how he feels about you," he told her.

"It…is?" PG nodded.

"I mean, he even checks out your butt," he pointed out as if this piece of information was greatly significant.

"Is that supposed to mean something?" She asked tilting her head in confusion. Gumball rolled his eyes.

"Marshall is a boob guy. He only looks at butts when he likes someone so much that he'd stare at anything they had," he explained.

"So he likes boobs…"

"Correct."

"But he stares at my butt?"

"Anything really. It's kinda pathetic if you ask me," he said.

"I still don't get why him looking at my but means something. Does he like me or not?" She demanded to know. PG groaned and slapped a palm over his face. This girl was hopeless.

"Yes! He does! He specifically told me to never tell you, but I couldn't make it any more obvious!" He snapped. Fionna gaped at Gumball's outburst and blinked in surprise. PG sighed. "Sorry. I shouldn't have shouted," he apologized. Fionna closed her jaw and shook away the shock. He actually liked her. It wasn't some big mystery anymore. Oh shit.

"It's okay," she assured him. He nodded. "And as for the whole 'show me your penis' thing…you can forget that…forever." He chuckled.

"Alas, even if I wanted to I couldn't," he role her.

"Huh?" She tilted her head in confusion.

"I don't have a penis," he informed her. Fionna now gawked, opening her jaw more than it's ever been opened in her life.

"But…Marshall said that's what makes a guy a guy," she recalled.

"That is true, for sexual beings. I am an asexual being," he announced.

"I don't know what that is," she said.

"Asexual?"

"Yeah, what's that?" She asked.

"It means I don't need to have sex to reproduce. I'm made out of candy mass, if I wanted a son or daughter I would simply create one by myself without a partner," he explained.

"Oh…so you can make yourself pregnant?" Gumball laughed.

"No, I don't get pregnant. I just reproduce. Like pinching off a small piece of me and letting it grow up in to a child."

"Oh."

"Does that make sense?"

"Not at all."

Sorry about the lengthy chapter. It was either one really long one or two super short ones :/ I doubt the next chapters will be this long: faire warning.