When I wake up from the new RESET, I race through the Ruins, avoiding Toriel. I can get to Snowdin faster if I avoid her fight, and thus, her. I race into the snow, past that goddamn branch, past the gate, past the Abandoned Sentry Station. My feet feel like they've been given wings, and for the first time in 1000 RESETS, my heart feels lighter. Gaster had taken great pains to warn me against failure, but any progress, no matter how small, would mean absolutely everything to me at this point. I know Papyrus' schedule, so I know where to find him, and he looks surprised when I skid to a stop in front of him. Literally- I left skid marks in the snow.

"WOW, A HUMAN!"

"Papyrus!" I cry, too impatient for him to continue with his script. "Did Gaster succeed?!"

"… GASTER? I AM NOT SURE WHO YOU MEAN, HUMAN. THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOES NOT KNOW ANYONE NAMED 'GASTER'! PERHAPS YOU COULD INTRODUCE US?"

My heart sinks, but I have to make sure…

"Papyrus, who is the Royal Scientist?"

"ALPHYS IS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST, OF COURSE! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT! NYEH HEH HEH!"

Poor Gaster. He'd lost his freedom and was probably stuck in the void, scattered across time and space. Again. Or something worse. I brace myself for bad news. Losing Gaster meant that it was highly unlikely any progress was mad, and that there was little hope continuing his research in helping me right the wrong done to this world, to me.

"Papyrus…" I say hesitantly, unwilling to go on but knowin I must. "Where's your brother?"

"MY BROTHER? THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS NO BROTHER! BUT IF I DID, I'D BE THE OLDER BROTHER AND TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING! NYEH HEH HEH!"

I'm floored. Of all the responses I could have, should have, gotten, this was NOT one of them. I cling to my last remaining hope like a lifeline, my voice audibly trembling as I struggle not to break. Again.

"P-Papyrus… Where is Sans?" My voice is barely audible and his name sends pain through my soul like a knife-wound. I can only cling to the faintest hope… But even that hope is turned against me.

"SANS? I KNOW OF NO SANS. WHO IS THIS SANS? PERHAPS YOU COULD INTRODUCE THEM TO THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"

My world breaks. The genocide soul had completely erased him from the timeline. All I can feel is an all-consuming pain. He's gone. There is no more hope. No more reason to stay Determined. My nails sink into my arms and I hear screaming. I'm screaming. The pain is too much, I see Papyrus running towards me looking scared while I sink to my knees, and blessedly, I pass out. But even in the black unconsciousness, I cannot truly escape the pain.

When I wake up, I'm lying in a patch of golden flowers. I don't remember doing so, but it appears I've RESET. This makes 1001. Wait- what happened to RESET #1000?

Welcome back, Partner

"Howdy… Partner"

I ignore both the voice and the flower, although I keep a wary eye on the flower. He has tried to kill me more than once, after all. Now, what was I doing…? Ah yes. Gaster had said he would help, and after spending an excruciatingly long time in that one timeline, I had reset again to test the results of what he had come up with. I wonder what happened in RESET #1000? No matter. I had to hope that it was good. I feared what it would be otherwise.

Heh. It's funny when you lie to yourself, Partner.

Out of sheer reflex, I ignore the statement. And I most certainly ignore the implications.

Heh. Suit yourself. Your reaction will be all the more Entertaining

I shiver, and the flower just watches. His expression is… anticipatory? I shiver again. That does not bode well. It never does, but I am Determined not to let those two have their way. Not ever.

Not even if he's truly gone? An insidious thought whispers from the back of my own mind, but I resolutely ignore it, too. No. Gaster said he'd help me fix the problem. He was brilliant. He'd know what to do. I race through ruins, avoiding Toriel. Why do I feel a sense of Déjà vu? Why is there dread in my soul instead of the hope I should be filled with? I hit the snow, slipping and sliding in my haste, hurrying to dispel these negative feelings in my heart. Past that goddamn branch, past the gate, past the Abandoned Sentry Station- what is up with the goddamn Déjà vu? My feet feel dragged down by it, my heart is heavy with the foreboding it brings. I'm panting with the weight of it by the time I skid to a stop in front of Papyrus. He looks at me and blinks.

"GOOD TO SEE YOU IN GOOD HEALTH, HUMAN!"

Wh-what? My mind stutters. This is the first time he's seen me… in this timeline, that is. But that's absurd! The power to remember events through time was always… Had never belonged to Papyrus! If he did remember, that would mean- !

"Good… health?" I ask, hesitantly.

"YEAH! LAST TIME WE MET YOU COLLAPSED! I HOPE YOU DO NOT DO SO AGAIN!"

No… no no No NO! This cannot be happening! I sink to my knees, hardly aware of the tears dripping down my cheeks. Papyrus' expression turns to one of consternation in an instant as he rushes to help me, but I barely feel his hands on my arms. I ask him the questions I need him ton answer, even though I already know the answers.

"P-Papyrus… Do you know who Gaster is?"

"YES! I TRIED LOOKING FOR HIM AFTER YOU ASKED ME TO THE FIRST TIME, BUT I COULDN'T FIND ANY MENTION OF HIM. THEN I FOUND AN ABANDONED LAB IN MY BASEMENT THAT HAD REALLY OLD RECORDS OF HIM! APPARENTLY HE WAS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST BEFORE ALPHYS BUT HE HASN'T BEEN SEEN FOR A LONG TIME AND NO ONE REMEMBERS HIM! ISN'T THAT WIERD?!"

My heart sinks in confirmation. I should be surprised at the information he hwas given me, but all I can feel is my despair. Poor Gaster. He had erased himself, again, in the pursuit of helping me fix things.

"That's good, Papyrus… You did well… What of- of Sans?"

Even his name makes my soul spasm with the force of my anguish.

"I… I AM SORRY HUMAN. I COULD NOT FIND ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE NAMED SANS."

Even knowing what his answer had to be, my heart drops lower than the True Lab. Papyrus, not knowing what to do or how to handle my tears just holds me. And I? I just sob my heart out into his chest. His touch is meant to be comforting, but to me it's just a reminder of my loss, because he's not the one who should be comforting me. That job should belong to… to someone else. Even now, knowing He's gone, it hurts too much for me to say his name. Knowing he's gone… There's nothing left for me. I can't exist here - it's too painful, there's too much anguish and heartache – but the rules… I'm not allowed to just stop.

There's another way to get what you want, Partner.

My will is too shattered to push them away this time… Or that is what I tell myself. Maybe, just maybe, though, the scary truth is that I want to hear what the genocidal soul says. Whatever the reason, instead of ignoring them like I should, I respond to them.

What other way?! He's DEAD! Sans is DEAD, because you – we – killed him!

Admitting that to myself, even in the privacy (hah!) of my own mind, just about tears my soul apart. It doesn't matter that the Other one took control for the split second it took to kill him. That's just an excuse. The fact is that he died in my arms, and I will never, ever forgive myself for it.

There is NO way that we can undo that! I've tried. He's gone… So don't even try to lie to me about that!

The person in my head just smirks.

Why would I lie to you, Partner? You know I only ever tell you the truth.

…The Other had a point there. They usually took delight in telling me every horrible truth.

"…HUMAN?"

Oh my stars, I had forgotten about Papyrus. This was not a conversation that I should be having, let alone expose him to. I take a deep shuddering breath. Now that I had a plan – even one so thin and despicable as holding a conversation with the Other – I had stopped crying. I gave Papyrus a hug.

"Thanks, Papyrus… for everything. For supporting me, for being there… For trying to help me make things better." I intended to stop there, but something prompts me to continue, to say just one more thing to him. I pull away, cupping his face in my hands, memorizing it. His expression is so sad. I feel guilty for making him have such an expression. Papyrus is the one person who should never, ever, be sad.

I don't know what comes next, but nothing good ever comes from the Other one. Maybe that is what prompts me to say what I do.

"… Goodbye, Pappy."

His expression becomes alarmed, but it is already too late- I had started the RESET.