Chapter 4: The Full Moon Rises

The next few weeks flew by in a blur of detention and homework. McGonagall was obviously still ruffled that she hadn't caught James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter earlier, and compensated by assigning them large amounts of homework. That, on top of the daily detentions they were forced to serve, kept them too busy for much else.

Most of the first years were too frightened to approach the four, which James and Sirius found very amusing. They would glance at them fearfully in the halls and avoid them, recalling the incident on their arrival to Hogwarts. But a few of them had laughed it off and stopped to chat to them in the hall, thinking they were the 'cool kids' of Hogwarts. They must be, to pull off such a fantastic prank.

Needless to say, James was very pleased with their assumption.

After their last detention, all four boys had collapsed into the armchairs in the common room, exhausted and relieved. James was flexing his elbow, pouting. McGonagall had set them to work cleaning the trophy room the non-magical room, which none of them had been very happy about. James, however, had it the worst. He was a sort of pampered prince at home, all of them admitted it. The others were better suited to handle labor such as that, but it still irked them.

"Thank Merlin we're done with our detentions," Sirius sighed, kicking his feet up to rest on the coffee table. "That was bloody exhausting…"

Remus leaned his head back against his chair, shutting his eyes. He was even more tired than the others, and for good reason. The full moon was tomorrow, the first one of the school year. Although Remus hadn't been hit with any sickness yet, he still felt the customary weariness that occurred before and after that hated time of the month.

"You alright, Remus?" James asked, frowning at his friend, who looked pale and kind of sickly.

Remus opened his eyes. "Huh?" he asked, blinking. "Oh- oh, yeah, I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Mhmmm," James said, eyeing his friend suspiciously. Shaking it off, he excitedly grinned around their small circle. "Guess what's coming up!" he said happily.

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno. More detention?"

"No," James said, pouting. "Quidditch try-outs are next week!"

Sirius perked up, looking interested. "Really?" he asked.

James grinned. "Yup," he said. "I'm going for Chaser; there's an open spot. Any of you trying?"

Peter and Remus shook their heads, but Sirius shrugged. "I've always wanted to play Beater," he said thoughtfully. "But there isn't an opening, is there?"

James frowned. "No," he admitted. "One of them is a sixth year, the other's a seventh year. But you can try next year, Sirius!"

Sirius sat back in his chair. "Eh, whatever," he said. "Next year, I suppose."

"I wish I could play Quidditch," Peter said sadly.

James grinned at him. "Don't look so down, Pete. I'm sure if I work with you a bit, you'll become a Quidditch pro, just like me!"

Remus groaned. "Oh, fantastic. Now James is going to go on and on and on about how awesome he is, especially if he makes the team."

"No I won't," James snapped.

Sirius snorted. "Please, with your big head? Of course you'll be bragging!"

"I don't have a big head!" James exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "I can't help it that I'm just so fantastic at Quidditch and schoolwork and I'm so handsome and-"

"No big head, huh?" Sirius said pointedly, raising an eyebrow.

James shut his mouth, realizing what he was doing. "That doesn't prove anything," he muttered.

"Sure it doesn't, James," said Sirius doubtfully. Catching sight of Remus out of the corner of his eyes, he frowned. "Remus, are you sure you're alright?"

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt hot and clammy, and his stomach was beginning to make him feel nauseous. He recognized the beginnings of the full moon sickness, and he couldn't have been less displeased that it had already started.

"Just tired," he mumbled, taking a deep breath. "I should get to bed."

"Yeah," James agreed, "you don't look that well. Maybe you're getting sick?"

Remus shrugged weakly. "Possibly," he said, clambering to his feet. "Well, 'night," he said, heading to the dorms.

"Goodnight!" his friends called after him.

As soon as Remus had disappeared up the staircase, Sirius turned to the others. "It's happening again," he said.

"What's happening again?" Peter asked, looking confused. James just nodded.

"Yes," he said, "but he hasn't disappeared yet, so we can't mark it on the chart."

"What are you talking about?" Peter asked, frowning. Again, he was ignored.

"But we should write down that he's getting sick," Sirius reasoned. "It could be important evidence. Sometimes he just disappears because he's 'sick'."

"Wait, what?" Peter asked, desperately confused.

"Yeah," James said thoughtfully. "But what if we-"

"Um, guys?" asked Peter. "What's going on?"

James and Sirius both blinked at him. "Oh, right!" Sirius said, "We haven't told Peter yet!"

James glanced around the common room, checking to make sure no one was listening in. When he was assured, he turned back to Peter and spoke in a low voice, quickly explaining about the list they had started over the summer. He told him that they were planning on charting Remus' disappearances to see if they could find a pattern to it, something that would reveal where their friend ran off to every month.

Slowly, Peter nodded. "Alright," he said, "but how will knowing what days Remus disappears on help us?"

James shrugged. "I don't know," he said, "but right now I just want to find out why he's lying to us."

Remus woke up the next morning feeling absolutely dreadful. His head felt like it had been hammered in, and his stomach was tied up in painful knots. Around him, he could hear the sounds of his friends chattering and getting dressed. Letting out a moan as their sharp voices made his head spin, Remus buried his head under his pillow and shut his eyes again.

The talk in the room died down when Remus groaned. Frowning, James walked over to his friends' bed. "Come on, Remus, I know classes are dull, but we have to get going!"

Remus let out another moan before slowly sitting up. James winced as he watched Remus shake his head, yawning. "Remus, you look horrible, mate," James said.

"I'm fine," Remus mumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Seriously, Remus, maybe you should just lie back down," Sirius said, walking over and frowning at his friend as well.

Remus just shook his head stubbornly and stood up. He swayed for a few anxious seconds before gaining his balance. "Told you I was fine," he muttered, giving his friends a weak smile.

Still, they hovered around him as he took a step. As soon as he touched his foot down, it gave out beneath him, and Sirius had to quickly grab his arm to keep him from falling.

"Woah, Remus," Sirius said, steadying him. Remus shut his eyes, trying not to be sick from all the movement.

"That's it; you're not going to classes," James said decisively.

Remus let out yet another moan. "I have to," he groaned.

"What you have to do is get some more rest," Sirius snapped, slinging his friends' arm around his shoulder. "Now come on, back in bed."

"No," Remus protested when Sirius tried to get him back into bed.

"You're not going to classes!" Peter said.

"No," Remus repeated, "take me to the hospital wing." He winced as his head throbbed. "Madam Pomfrey knows what to give me."

The three boys exchanged frowns, and Sirius' eyes narrowed suspiciously. Nevertheless, James took Remus' other arm in order to help him walk, and the four exited the dorm.

They were already late for breakfast, so the common room was deserted. The boys were unhindered as they made their way through the room and out the portrait hole, entering the chilly corridor.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Remus was trying hard to stay awake, ignoring the exhaustion trying to claim him, and didn't notice the suspicious and worried glances his friends were shooting each other. When they passed the Great Hall, the smells drifting out made Remus sick to his stomach, and he stumbled a bit more than he already had been.

Eventually, James broke the silence. "Remus, what did you mean, Madam Pomfrey knows what to give you?"

Remus gulped, taking a deep breath. "She has medicine for me," he said in an airy, disconnected voice.

"What's wrong with you?" Sirius pushed.

Remus' head drooped sleepily, and his head spun. "Oh, it's nothing," he mumbled.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Even half-unconscious and seriously ill, Remus was still secretive. Go figure.

James, Sirius, and Peter hiked their sick friend up to the hospital wing, finally arriving at their destination. Panting, James knocked on the door and pushed it open before anyone could answer.

"Madam Pomfrey?" he called, helping Sirius and Peter come inside.

There was a moment's pause before the door to Madam Pomfrey's office opened, revealing the annoyed looking nurse. As soon as she caught sight of them, she pursed her lips.

"Of course, it's you four," she sighed, "but what could you have done so early in the morning?"

"It's Remus, Madam Pomfrey," Peter squeaked. "He's ill."

Pomfrey frowned, scanning their group until she caught sight of Remus leaning against Sirius' shoulder. Letting out a small gasp, she strode forward. "Remus!" she said, taking hold of the boys' arm and helping him over to a bed. "What happened?"

Remus collapsed onto the bed, shutting his eyes. "Tonight," he muttered.

Pomfrey looked confused for a moment before comprehension dawned on her face. "Goodness me, tonight already?" she mumbled to herself. "I completely forgot." Clearing herself, she pulled the covers around Remus, who was almost asleep. "I'll get you something to take," she said in a brisk voice.

She turned on Peter, Sirius, and James, who were watching the exchange with extreme curiosity. "Alright, nothing to see here!" she said, shooing them out. "Get down to the Great Hall, you can just make breakfast before your classes."

Obediently, the three filed out of the hospital wing. The door slammed shut behind them, the noise echoing in the empty corridor.

The boys were silent for a moment, staring at the closed door behind them.

"That was bizarre," Sirius finally said.

"Definitely," James agreed. "What's happening tonight?"

"You don't think it's something bad, do you?" Peter asked nervously, his eyes darting to the hospital wing.

Sirius scoffed, his lips twitching. "Come on, Pete. It's Remus. What would he be able to do that's so bad?"

James didn't look amused. "Who knows?" he asked seriously. "We hardly know Remus, it seems. He's keeping a huge secret, I just know it. He'll be perfectly fine one moment, and then we'll mention something and he'll completely clam up. He's hiding something, something about where he disappears every month. And whatever it is, it must be pretty bad if he hasn't even told us yet."

"That's another thing I don't like," Sirius said, the smile dropping off his face. "Why in the name of Merlin is he keeping it from us? We're his best friends, he can tell us anything, doesn't he know that?"

"Well, Sirius, there seems to be two options to that question," James said. "Either he doesn't realize that he can tell us anything, or whatever he's holding back is so big he doesn't think we would be able to handle it."

"But what could be so big?" Peter asked.

"That's what we're going to find out this year," James said determinedly. "I have a feeling Remus won't be back tonight. That's our chance to break out the list again."

Remus woke up later that evening feeling a little bit better than before. Earlier, Madam Pomfrey had forced some horrid-tasting potions down his throat then ordered him to go back to sleep, which he did gratefully. Half an hour before the full moon rose, she shook him awake again, ready to take him back down to the Whomping Willow.

He drew the cloak around himself, hiding his face from view, and followed Pomfrey out of the hospital wing. She eyed him worriedly out of the corner of her eye, but, luckily, he was able to walk on his own again without falling over. It was getting late, and the castle was empty as they made their way to the Entrance Hall and down the stairs into the brisk night air.

Walking purposefully, they reached the Whomping Willow. Standing well out of reach of the flailing branches, Pomfrey levitated a branch up and prodded the knot at the base of the tree. The branches froze, immobile in the foggy night air.

"Alright then," Pomfrey said, letting the branch fall to the ground. "Good luck, Remus. I'll be there to pick you up in the morning."

Remus gave the concerned-looking nurse a strained smile before starting towards the tunnel. Weaving his way through the frozen branches, he reached the tree trunk and slipped in without hesitation, the path far too familiar to him.

He dropped the cloak in the entrance, crouching down to hurry down the corridor. He was relieved when he finally reached the end and was able to stand up straight without smacking his head on the roof of the tunnel.

Remus glanced around the familiar shack with a sigh. While this place made it possible for him to attend Hogwarts and ensured his peers' safety, it was an everlasting reminder that he could never be a normal teenager. He would forever be plagued with his lycanthropy, and even though it only changed him one night a month, he knew it would be very hard for him to find acceptance in this world. He was considered a dark monster, someone too dangerous to be treated with anything but caution. There wasn't anyone out there who wouldn't be afraid of him if they found out what he was.

Remus sat down on the hard wooden floor, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them. The window set high into the wall was still blank; the full moon had not yet risen. Remus let out a sigh, shutting his eyes.

This was the worst part of the full moon. The wait beforehand, waiting for the moment when he would become a monster. The knowledge that there was nothing he could do about it, nothing to change the course of the night. He was destined to turn into a beast, no matter how painful the transformation would be. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

It felt like hours, hours of anxiety and fear, before a sliver of silver peeked through the window. Remus let out a gasp, his eyes flying open as there was a gut-wrenching pain in his stomach.

Remus doubled over with pain, breathing heavily. He squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to block out the agony. He could feel his bones starting to shift, cracking in their sockets. Dark hair starting spreading across his body, covering him from head to toe in wolf's fur. His hands clenched tight into fists as his nails started shaping into the claws, sharpening and growing longer.

When he cracked his eyes open again, they had turned a deep gold, different from his normally light amber eyes. Instead of the customary warmth and intelligence that sparkled in them, these eyes were angry and murderous. Remus let out a long howl, letting out the last of the pain in that long screech as his mind shifted to that of a wolf's.

Outside, Madam Pomfrey froze as the howl reached her ears. She shut her eyes, breathing deeply. She couldn't believe that a child so sweet and full of potential had been cursed with this illness. It just wasn't fair.

But then, life wasn't fair.

She hurried up the stairs and back into the castle, feeling a little better once she was shielded from the cold air. Making her way back to her office, she prepared to spend the rest of her night worrying about the poor boy howling in agony.

"Sirius, I think that's enough chocolate," James said, tugging the Chocolate Frog out of Sirius' hand.

Sirius frowned at him. "I've only had three."

"And that's three less for me!" James said, tossing the chocolate back into the care package he had received from his parents the day before.

Rolling his eyes, Sirius flopped down on the bed. "Come on, we're supposed to be working on the list," he said. "We need to do it while Remus isn't here; the last thing we need is for him to find out what we're doing."

"Right," James said, leaning back against the pillow, "what have we got already?"

Peter picked up the sheet of parchment, squinting to decipher James' hurried writing.

"Let's see…. 'Disappears once a month, every month; He claims his mother is ill and he's visiting her, but it's obvious she isn't; He's often ill and irritable around the time that he leaves; People who seem to know what's going on are James' mother, Madam Pomfrey, the professors, but NOT US'."

Sirius raised his eyebrow at James as Peter read off the words he had written down over the summer, but James ignored him. "Alright," he said, "what else can we write down?"

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a strange noise coming from outside. Frowning, James jumped up and hurried to the window.

"Was that a howl?" he asked, perking up his ears and leaning outside.

The full moon hung in the air above the castle, bright and shiny. Peter and Sirius joined their friend at the window, and for a few minutes they stood there listening, but they heard no other noises.

"Strange," Sirius muttered, stepping away.

Peter bit his lip. "What do you think it was?" he asked nervously.

James shrugged. "Probably just some monster in the Forbidden Forest," he said.

"I don't know," Sirius said doubtfully, "it sounded awful close to the castle."

Peter let out a little squeak while James frowned. "Yes, I suppose," he said. "But we really should get back to our list."

Sirius sighed exasperatedly. "James, what else is there to write? Whatever Remus is hiding, he's awful good at it. I have absolutely no idea what's going on, and I don't think your stupid little list is going to do much good."

James pouted, stalking over to the bed and snatching the list up. "Fine," he snapped, "whatever. We'll do it without the list." He stuffed the parchment back into his trunk. "What's your suggestion?" he asked sarcastically.

Sirius shrugged. "I think we should list the symptoms Remus gets around the time he leaves and go off of that," he said.

James' jaw dropped, and he narrowed his eyes. "First off… that was actually smart, Sirius, congratulations. Second… your suggestion is a list? Seriously? After you made me put mine away?"

Sirius shrugged, smirking. "My list is cool, yours is lame."

"It is not! My list is awesome!"

"Yeah, right," Sirius snorted.

"Are you guys seriously arguing over a list?" Peter asked, blinking at his friends.

"Don't hate on my list just because it's better than yours," James sniffed, turning away from his friend.

Sirius stared at him. "Better than yours? Honestly, what do you think, you're going to…"

Peter turned away with a sigh as his friends continued throwing list insults back and forth. Climbing onto his bed, he closed the curtains and drew the covers around him.

"How does Remus handle them?" he mumbled, laying down and shutting his eyes.

A/N: Sorry about the little wait, but it's up now. Ta-da! I felt bad for Remus in this chapter : ( But then, I feel bad for him all the time. POOR REMUS!

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Kayla