Clove's POV

I realized it while he was asleep, while he was gripping my hand. I watched him breathe in the air in the arena and I saw him breathe it out. I watched him snore a little bit and I marveled the shadows lying on his face. I marveled at how different he looks when he's peaceful.

I moved a little closer and touched the side of his face with a shaky finger. His nose crinkled.

"Go away" he muttered and went back to snoring.

"No" I said silently. I stopped touching his face anyway.

Brutal and bloody Cato. Sometimes people forget that he's human too. Sometimes I forget that i'm human. I am not a machine. I am not a lottery ticket. I am a person and I can bleed. I can die. I am a trapped human. I have feelings.

And i'm afraid I might like the Brutal bloody Cato.

I didn't know what got into me, why I suddenly pulled in his head. Is that what love is? Does love make you do that or is it just utter stupidity? I could have waited somehow. Why didn't I wait? Love makes you stupid, doesn't it? It made me stupid.

His sword went up in the air, blocking the moonlight. I grabbed a knife by instinct and it was ready to pounce. Is that really what I want? The rust in the sword in his hand is frightening and so are the stains of blood.

I don't know if it's because of fear, maybe stupidity.

But the next thing I know, I was kissing him.

His lips are soft, a bit chapped from thirst probably. My hand behind his neck touches a part of his hair and then I am brought down to reality. I realize who I am kissing. I realize that those lips are the ones of my enemy.

I like my enemy.

He isn't my enemy by natural cause if that makes any sense. He was forced to be my enemy.

The person beside me on that stage would be a threat and unfortunately, he became that person.

And I got messed up. I hold retarded feelings.

Maybe this isn't what I'm supposed to do. I'm not supposed to be kissing him. The warmth against my own lips and the breaths heating up my face. These are all wrong.

I then retract my hand from his neck. I pull back my head and cold night air quickly fills up the space. I breathe and blink. Before I look down and deny everything, he cups my head in his hands and pulls me towards him.

We are now sitting up, my fists on his chest. I can feel his every heartbeat and they are fast. Maybe as fast mine.

His hands on the sides of my face are strong and I wish to look into his eyes but the pleasure forces my own eyes shut. I slowly slide my hands towards the back of his neck and pull him closer. The pressure is intoxicating. If only his lips could press even more close, but there's no space.

My cheeks feel warm and my guts feel tingly. My heart is racing and I think I have forgotten how to breathe.

Everything disappears as my lips slide against his. I forget that he's going to kill me. I forget that I should kill him before he kills me. I forget the bloodshed and I forget that I am being watched. I forget that i'm in a game.

Our movement is rhythmic and his kisses are good. He's not sloppy and I could feel that he might want to shove his tongue down my throat. That will surely kill me in another sense. But he doesn't.

He pulls back and my head moves forward to catch a last kiss. I do and I smile a bit while biting my lip. I wait for his eyes to meet mine.

They don't.

"Clove, I-" he places his hands on my shoulders and I pull back my hands from his neck. Maybe I was right. Maybe this is wrong and that wasn't supposed to happen. "Just don't"

That was incomplete. Don't what? I can feel a lump in my throat as I try and analyze his words. I hope my guesses are as accurate as my aim, but this is different.

"Don't what?" my voice is shaky.

"We're not supposed to… this isn't… just don't."

He can't seem to look at me. He looks fragile and he's taking in shaky breaths. The chilly night air seems cooler and the sound of the wind seems to hold secrets. Don't what?

I can feel my body dropping which is strange. I am sitting still with my hands so cold. I get what he means. Maybe I do. Maybe I don't.

I know that my life might stop in this arena. His life might stop in this arena. Only one can come out and there's the two of us. I think I might be attracted to him and I think I better grab the chance before my blood stains the grass.

Being a person feels weird. I've never looked at things other than this. It was more of a "Survival of the fittest". This is the time where I pray I should have stuck with being my district's machine. I should have been just metal in human flesh, a killing machine partnered with another killing machine.

That's all that we are, right?

We were trained for years in a training area in the district. All day, we would sweat our lives out in that area because we've been given a purpose. Our purpose is to train, play this horrific game, survive, and bring glory to the district.

I would pass by a lot of people. They would marvel at the sunset and maybe breathe in some fresh air. And do you know what I said to them?

"You are foolish for being so blind!"

I'm foolish for being so blind. A view of the sunset in my district would be really nice right now.

We're metal in human flesh. We live to play the games and that's our only purpose. We play in a sick game, me and my knives. And he and his sword.

I can love when I die, but that's not what happened.

I loved while I was still breathing and every breath hurts while I suck in the truth.