Cosmic Comedy - some things only a god can see the humour in.
Thirty year old Aiden - the husband, the father of two - is finding himself in a situation that every guy would laugh his ass off if he found someone else in it. Too bad he's the guy in it. Self insert, gender bender!
Chapter 4
8-8
"Alright class! Pay attention, because I will only explain this once!" Iruka-sensei announced. He only likes to explain anything once. Nothing new there. I looked around, wondering who else noticed the bullshit he was spouting this time.
Hanabi was standing at attention, clearly not caring and just awaiting instruction. Matsuri was rolling her eyes, probably thinking the same as me. Futaba was twiddling her fingers, nervous again. She's wondering if she'd be any good at whatever we were meant to learn this time. Yun was cracking her knuckles, hoping it was a fight if the look on her face was anything to go by.
Konohamaru and his goons –Udon and Moegi– were gearing themselves up for something they feel they can prove themselves in. I rolled my eyes at that. Konohamaru seems to have taken up a rivalry with me – leaving Hanabi mysteriously on the sidelines of our constant fighting. Only, I didn't have the backup goons he did – something he was proud to point out.
Samo –who has been marked as Hanabi's bitch– is just eying Hanabi, to make sure he doesn't piss her off. And... much to my annoyance, Daichi and Kouji are huddled behind me. Who knew there were fanboys in Konoha... or that I'd be the object of their affection... (-.-)''
"Daichi, Kouji, if you two keep trying to sneak up on me I'm going to stab you by accident." I warned, turning my full attention back to Iruka-sensei. Mostly to ignore those two idiots. A kid who won't leave his house without a helmet on his head, and his best friend who thinks wearing a tie is cool... why me?
"Of course Ai-sama! Please, let me take notes for you!" Daichi took out a notepad and a pen and started scribbling frantically. Does he even know that Iruka is waiting for us to pay attention? (^-^)''
"Now that I have everyone's attention. We will be working on the bow and arrow today. Now who can tell me the traditional name of the long bow?" He asked. The yumi, duh. But I ain't getting more followers by having an opinion! I nudged Hanabi, who nearly jumped in response. "Yes, Hanabi-chan?"
"Uhh..." Shit, she didn't know. I whispered it into her ear. "The yumi." She kept her face completely neutral, but I could tell she was going to get me back for that later. What? At least I helped her out before she made a fool of herself!
"Very good. Though it is not a weapon most shinobi tend to use outside of times of war it is a useful weapon to practice and master. Now I want everyone to come and claim a bow and five arrows." The sent everyone in a panic. Everyone rushed him, trying to get the best ones – like they'd even know a good bow if they saw it.
I was about to start teasing Hanabi about Konohamaru saying something to her when, "Ai-sama, here. I got one for you already." Kouji announced.
"And I got arrows!" Daichi chirped. Holy shit! How'd they get it done that quick?
"Thanks guys." I smiled at them. They still weird me out, but at least they aren't just drooling and ogling. They both nodded, handed the items to me. It seems they had it planned, seeing that one had three bows in hand, and the other had fifteen arrows. Teamwork. "Good thinking." I smiled a little brighter at them. Maybe having them around wasn't going to be all bad. So long as they understood I wasn't opening my legs to them for this. Then again... they're ten.
I turned to Hanabi, who was getting into an argument with Konohamaru about who would be getting that bow. They were both so clueless about it – there were three more bows that no one was fighting about.
Things are going to be so interesting around here. "Hey guys, let's get to target practice already!" I announced, Kouji and Daichi already hot on my heels.
The scroll Shizune had given me on weaponry briefly covered the yumi – and like all weapons it touched on production, care and use. So I sorta knew what I was doing. I stabbed all five arrows in the ground next to me so that they'd stand on their own, and grabbed the bow properly with my left hand. I'd make sure to point out to Hanabi to switched hands since she was left handed – but she'd have to stop indirectly flirting with Konohamaru first.
Anyway, I grabbed the first arrow, selected my target and took aim. Both eyes open, estimated the distance, pulled back with my arrow hand, final adjustments and... released!
I followed the arrow on its path. It hit the exact centre of the bulls-eye! Of the wrong target, but no one needs to know that! "Sugoi! Ai-sama is good at this." Daichi announced, awestruck.
Not really, but who's complaining. He and Kouji took aim at the same time, trying to mimic what I'd done. Mister Salaryman (a nickname I gave Kouji, so that Hanabi knew who I was talking about when I complained) hit the ground in front his chosen (?) target. Bubble boy (Daichi) snapped his bow in two.
"That's not bad Kouji. You just need to apply a little more pressure – not too much though. And Daichi, try pulling back with one arm and just steadying the bow with the other. If you pull with both arms you'll apply too much pressure and snap the bow." Obviously, seeing that's what happened. They both looked a bit embarrassed, probably hoping to make a good impression on me. "Look, take my bow and keep practicing. I'll take yours and explain what happened to sensei, okay?" It was the perfect excuse to not try again and fuck up the image of perfection I'd given them – accident or no. Having followers is rough!
8-8
Later, back in class, I started noticing a few changes to the seating arrangements. Hanabi and I were still seated together, but she was now directly behind Konohamaru. To her left she had Matsuri, and to my right were Kouji then Daichi. I overheard them agreeing to switch seats every day so that they could each have a chance sitting by me. (^-^)''
Class started again, and we were given the general explanation for the Substitution Jutsu. There were WAY too many handsigns for it to be useful (Ram-Boar-Ox-Dog-Snake), so I'll be bugging Shizune later when she's home from the office on how to shorten that shit.
After that, Iruka-sensei asked for a volunteer to show how it was done. I've never gotten a jutsu down on the first time, and this was definitely my first time for this one – so I wasn't exactly going to- "Ai-sama can do it, no problem!" Kouji announced. I wanted to stab my pen into his hand.
"Alright, Ai-chan. Come here please." I'm so beating you senseless when I get out of this. I walked up, repeating the sequence I needed to do over and over again. "I'm going to give you to the count of five, then I'm going to throw my eraser at you. One..." I was already blazing through handsigns – which wasn't saying much since I've seen Sakura go through them much faster. As much as I like her, she isn't much of a kunoichi to look up to.
When the eraser was thrown, I focused on the target I was switching out with. And I prayed to anyone that would listen for this to work. I felt a twinge in my gut, and my vision melted, swayed and left me damn near seasick. But I was in Kouji-s seat, staring at him taking an eraser to the head.
Seeing the shocked, almost betrayed look on his face... I kinda felt bad for him. No matter how much I thought he deserved it. I started making my way to the front of the class, wetting a napkin in the sink near the door. I helped him clean his face at least. "Next time, ask if I feel like being volunteered for something." I whispered. I had to bite my lip to not laugh at the 'war paint' look her was sporting and the moist napkin pieces sticking to his face wasn't helping any.
"Sensei, do you have a washrag?" I asked, taking it upon myself to clean his face – if nothing else. Stupid guilty, responsible side that shouldn't be stopping me from laughing. He tossed something to me, and I helped Kouji look less a mess.
8-8
After school, I figured it was time to lay down the law with Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. "Kouji, Daichi." They were at my side before their shadows knew they moved. "Listen, I appreciate you both wanting to be friends with me. But there are a few things we will need to agree on before either of you can hope to earn that position." I told them seriously. They're looking at me a bit weird – somewhere between a scared, what-do-I-have-to-do and a determined bring-it-on.
"What is it?" They both asked.
"First off, I am not a doll. I can get my own things. I'm not looking for servants or gophers after all." They smiled a bit. "As well, whatever that was with 'Ai-sama can do it!'" I shook my head a few times. That shit wasn't going to fly. "And while we're at it, Ai-sama is against the my principles. Call me Ai-san, if you want to be formal, or just Ai-chan."
"R-really!" Jeez, what's with the stereo replies?
"Are you trying to be my friends, or my underlings?" I asked seriously, although it didn't look like they had thought that far ahead. "Friends tend to be informal, don't they?" They looked at each other.
"Alright!" They both jumped into the air, pumping their fists like they were going to start a fight with some rogue clouds. What monsters have I just unleashed on the world?
"Kouji-kun, what happened this time?" Someone asked behind Kouji. I looked over his should to see a tall man with brown wavy hair, glasses, a mustache, a brown, sleeveless sweater with a V-neck, tie, white long sleeve button shirt, and brown dress pants asked. No flak jacket, only the forehead protector. His dad's a genin?
"Uhhh, I uhhhh..." Kouji didn't quite know what to say.
"That would be my fault. We were learning the Substitution Jutsu and I grabbed him on my first attempt. He ended up taking the 'attack' I was meant to avoid. I'm sorry about that." I bowed to Kouji and his father. I did leave out that it was his fault he got picked – because it was his fault I got picked. A story for another day.
"Please, young miss. No need to be so hard on yourself. Kouji tends to get on Iruka's nerves and gets the eraser quite a bit. I honestly thought he did something to deserve it." His father seemed a bit embarrassed, rubbing the back of his head. Well, he was right... but I'll leave it slide this time.
"I'll try to keep an eye on him for you, so that he behaves better in class." I bowed again. "My name is Senju Ai, by the way."
"Oh, of course, silly me forgetting my manners. I'm Akamon Manabu, I work R&D." He bowed as well. "Senju Ai, you wouldn't happen to be the famous Ai-sama I've been hearing about lately?"
"No," I intoned. "I might be the Ai-chan you've been hearing about though." He looked at me a little weird, not sure what I was saying. "I'm allergic to people calling me 'sama'."
"I see." He scratched the side of his face. "Well, Ai-chan, it's very good to meet you." That earned him a smile. "Come, Kouji-kun. Your mother won't like it if we get home late." They both left with a farewell, taking Daichi with them – he was staying with them while his parents were away on missions.
"You really are in a class of your own." I turned to see Hanabi with Kou. "You could have had two flunkies to boss around, but chose to make them companions instead." Hanabi was smiling the whole time she talked. I could only shrug – it's not something I thought a lot about.
8-8
On the way home –I decided to walk with Hanabi to have some company– we passed the Shinobi Outfitter Store (SOS, you've got to be kidding me)...
"Hey, Nabi-chan, there were a few things I needed to check here. You wanna come with?" I offered, already knowing Kou would say they were expected at the compound. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then, okay?"
So I entered the store alone, wondering at the collection of weapons that I've never seen before. Blades ranging in size from daggers to swords longer than I was tall – which wasn't saying much at the moment. There were also staffs, bows, needles of all sizes, kunai (both standard and specialized) and things I couldn't begin to identify. It really was a ninja's wet dream.
"Ah, a customer. Welcome, welcome." An old –and decrepit– man announced from behind the counter. "How can Sengo-jiji be of service to you?"
"I had a few questions, if that's alright, Sengo-san." I tried being polite, but I can understand why he would call himself an old man – he looks like he can barely stand, let alone walk.
"Please, come." He called me over to him, a patient smile on his face. I don't know him from Adam, but I can already tell I'm going to like him. "And call me Jiji, my son is the Sengo-san that runs the shop. I just fill in when he's working on something in the back."
"Can I call you Ji-chan, instead?" He smiled a little brighter, nodding. I made it to the counter, folding my arms onto it and started today's game of twenty questions. I seem to like playing that game. "Um, my nee-san told me that I would be able to get chakra paper here. Would you happen to have one for me?" He nodded, reaching into a hidden cabinet (I guess) and pulled something out. He placed a single piece of the paper before me.
"Just push some chakra in it and I'll tell you what you have." He told me, not saying the price. I took the paper, focusing as prescribed. The paper got wet and started dripping onto the counter. "Water. You're a Suiton user." SWEET! He smiled at me, already nodding for my next question.
"Umm, I also want to start practicing a weapon, but haven't fully made up my mind which one. Swords are cool, but generic. Nee-san says I suck so much with rope weapons that I should be banned from them. I had to practice with a bow in school, and that went alright. Would you happen to have any suggestions for me?"
"Well, like I tell my grandkids. Why pick one and overspecialize when you can pick ten and be damn good anyway." He reached into his little cabinet again and kept searching for a while. "The best place to start is with kunai, because they are easy to come by and fairly simple to master. The bow is good too, not a lot people can do to get close to you if they have an arrow in their eye. As well, the bo staff is an excellent choice. You're right about the sword – it's good, but generic and a bit overused. There are advantages and disadvantages to that. One being that there are a lot of jutsu scrolls, the other being that most people would know how to counter the techniques." He seemed to have found what he was looking for, spreading out some papers on the counter for me.
"These," He continued. "Are some basic weapons which are well suited to those starting out. Not difficult to learn the basics and open up a world of possibilities." Each page had the name and a picture of the weapon drawn and a small narrative below, not sure about what though. "You can have these, I make them as a hobby. Though my personal suggestion would be the bo. Still, we carry a wide selection of jutsu scrolls on each weapon, and I know a few chuunin and jounin that don't mind teaching some of the more advanced stuff if you like." I was right, I like this guy. I was definitely coming back and asking to speak to him directly.
"Thank you so much Ji-chan. This is exactly what I was looking for." I clapped my hands, trying my hardest not to hug the man – I didn't want to break him. "How much do I have for you?" He looked at me funny. Why do I feel like that just didn't come out right? "How much do I owe for the weapon cards and the chakra paper?" I indicated the stuff he just handed to me. His family runs a shop, I can't expect any freebies.
"I'll peg this as advertisement." He winked. "I don't doubt that you'll be back soon for more." I smiled, knowing he was right.
"Thank you, really." I bowed my head, gathering my things.
"We're home!" I could hear two female voices calling out from the entrance. "Hey Ji-chan! Dad dump you here again?" I know that voice! I turn around to see...
"Yun! Tenten! Good to see you both." Ji-chan and I said at the same time. Weird, but we shared a good chuckle for it.
"Ai-sama, what are you doing here?" Yun seemed surprised to see me.
"Yun-chaaaaan, how many times do I have to tell people to call me Ai-chan?" I whined.
"Oh, do we have a noble in my humble shop?" Ji-chan asked, now curious who I was.
"Yes, and no. I am Senju Ai of the Senju clan, but no I do not answer to 'sama'. Save that for Hokage-sama and dignitaries." I answered honestly. I hate the whole 'oh my god, it's someone related to someone famous!' routine. I haven't earned a name, so I won't claim one for myself just yet.
"I see." He was smiling at me, a bit wider than before. "Well, Ai-chan. If there is anything else you need, please do not hesitate to ask."
"Thank you, Ji-chan. Oh, Tenten, I'm going to visit Lee at the hospital, you wanna come?"
"I spent most of the morning there. Are you the one that got him to stay in bed?" She seemed authentically shocked that it was possible.
"Maybe. Well, I guess I'll see you later then. Oh, and Yun-chan, don't forget to ask about the sleepover at Hanabi's this weekend!" With that I was off. So much to do, and seeing that I gave up on my afternoon job, I had so much more to figure out to do.
8-8
"Lee-kun!" I greeted the second I entered his room. I noticed his eyes were a bit brighter than they usually were, so I knew he had recently heard good news. "They're releasing you soon?"
"Ai-san! Yes! Tsunade-sama has just informed me that I can go home tomorrow! I must still rest, but I will be allowed to train three hours a day!" He was obviously looking forward to that, and I can't blame him.
"That's great Lee! Well, I guess these will be handy for us to look at, then." I reached into my pocket for the papers I was given not half an hour ago. "Oh, Uncle Gai, I didn't see you there! It's great about Lee, isn't it?" He's still getting used to me calling him that, but I don't think he minds.
"Ai-chan! It's good to see you blooming like a flower in Spring! Yes, we are both quite happy that Lee can come home tomorrow. Still, I will be closely monitoring how much he trains. The last thing we need is a relapse to hamper his-" Yup, cue youth talks. Still, they both seem much more relieved. "The cast should be removed soon as well!" Youth, youth, youth, youth, youth. "Would four-thirty be a fair time for tomorrow's lesson?"
"Yes, that's fine. I'll make sure to tell Tsunade-sama about it so she doesn't worry."
Youth, youth some more and a pinch of exited youth. I blocked all of that out.
"Oh! Lee, I just came from the outfitters. I have some info on a few choice weapons I'm at least considering. You want to read through it too?"
These cards are actually good! Let's see, the yumi. Needs a steady hand, a hawk's eye to aim, mental agility to line up the shot and be mindful of the wind. Requirements are high speeds needed to reload, strength needed to shoot long distances and agility to keep moving as to not give away your position with ever shot. Drawbacks are not for close range (logically), low frequency sound that alerts the target and the risk of running out of arrows as well as it being nearly useless in dense woodlands
Gai-sensei's (I only call him 'uncle' to irk people) still yammering on about one form of youth or another – I'm at least partly paying attention for when he says something useful. So far, it's all static though.
"By the way, will you be attending the Chuunin exam finals tomorrow?" Gai-sensei asked. Huh?
"Uncle Gai, what are you talking about?" The chuunin exams must have passed by now – why else would Tsunade-sama be here? But then, they are every six months anyway. I wonder where they're being held this time.
"Tomorrow, in the stadium. The final round of the Chuunin exams are being held. It is a shame that Lee wasn't able to defeat his opponent in the last round. But that Gaara of the Desert was formidable." WHAT! THE! FUCK!
"Buh- hao... whe... hoo..." It was worse than having brain freeze during a snowstorm. This was like someone installed a blender in my skull and pressed Puree.
"Naruto-kun's fighting against Neji in the first match." Lee beamed. I however... I was... what the fuck? Total mind fuck.
"I have school in... the morning..." The words kinda just fell from my lips. "Sorry, Lee... I..." I thumbed towards the door. "... gotta go..."
8-8
I walked around in a drunken stupor. My feet seemed to have a destination though. So... tomorrow. The Sound-Sand joint invasion of this place I was just starting to see as home. I felt lost... cold. Like someone had grabbed me and dumped my in subzero water.
It didn't make any sense either. Tsunade was supposed to become Hokage after Hiruzen's death during the invasion against none other than Orochimaru. If Tsunade's Hokage, would that mean fate turns to her for the death?
Wonderful. Wonder-fucking-ful! I finally find something worth living for, dying for. And this is what I get? An invasion that serves no purpose other than furthering the hidden agendas of those that would harm my precious people...
You would think the helpless phase had ended in my life when my old man couldn't take it anymore and opted out. That was the exact point in my life where I shut off most of my emotions. That way I wouldn't feel helpless – kinda hard to when you can't feel at all. Now, two decades later... I'm ten years old and feeling that same way I felt the day he left. And worse yet, knowing that this time the hurricane that ripped my home apart won't be quite as content in just 'hanging around'... no. This time it's a shinobi army trying to kill anything that moves. And everyone I care about is either a shinobi, or a shinobi in training – the exact targets. And the one I care about most... she's going to be in a box with the world's greatest snake...
When I looked up, I was at the Hokage Tower. Of course I was. Why not. Let me just go talk to Tsunade, see her one last time before she's ripped from me like everything else in my life.
That thought was sarcastic, but my feet seemed to agree with it anyway. Without knowing what I was doing, I was knocking on Tsunade's door. The way she said to enter, the exact pitch, tone, emotion (she was busy, and didn't want to be disturbed)... I recorded it, engraved it into my heart.
Slowly I pushed the door open, seeing every detail as if for the first time – ironic, seeing this might well be the last. "Ai-chan," She smiled, looking up from some paperwork on her desk. "Is something wrong?" Her eyes held nothing but concern for me. I don't doubt for a second that she lets those emotions play out, just so that I can see them.
"t-mo-row, hu-uh?" My voice sounds as broken as my heart feels. You ever had the opportunity to take a long walk before a natural disaster strikes. That's what my day felt like. Which was twice as bad for me, because of all the parties that were going on. There was an entire village-wide fucking festival going on! I thought they had red my memories... wouldn't they know that...
"The chuunin exams? Yeah. If you're here about trying to skip out on school you-" I couldn't take it. I just... couldn't. I threw myself in her arms, even over the desk. I jarred more than a few tender places. Hell something may well be broken. I just didn't care.
"Ai-chan... sweetie... what is it?" She doesn't know. Oh, god. She doesn't know. She's somehow Hokage now, facing an invasion she knows nothing about. And I couldn't work my damn voice well enough with me blubbering all over her.
She pushed me back, just enough to get a look at me. I could barely make out those golden-amber eyes of hers. God I wanted to look into her eyes so bad – to tell her how much she meant to me. I may not have been around very long... but I knew what I had with her – I was safe so long as she held me. How I wanted her to hold me forever. "Ai-ch-"
"pro-mise m-me someth-thing..." I wiped away my tears – pointless really, seeing as she had done it at least twenty times by now and I still couldn't see shit. "p-p-pr-romise me..."
"What do you want me to promise?" She's draining the emotion from her face and eyes. She's trying to give herself the leeway to lie to me if she needs to.
"Promise me!" What happened to that logical, level headed man I used to be? What happened to the nurse that was trained to be able to look at a patient die and still keep doing CPR at the same tilt? What happened to the person that could take hearing a nine year old boy saying how he wished he would die, just to not feel the pain?
I may have been emotionally crippled, but I got things done. I saved lives. I salvaged homes. I fixed people so they could go home to their loved ones. Doesn't that count for something? Where's my hero? Who's going to save my precious people? Who's going to bring them home to me?
"do-on't leave-vuh m-meee-ee..." I begged. I grabbed her green robe, holding onto her like Orochimaru was around the corner to steal her from me. I didn't even try to stop the tears. Hopefully they would be enough to tell her how badly I needed her to stay with me, to be there for me. Who else could I count on to hold me if I wake up from a bad dream? Who else would have the balls to tell me to start acting like a little girl?
"Ai-chan, I'm not going anywhere." She's saying the word compassionately enough, but her eyes are emotion free. Of course they are, there is never a guarantee with any mission. Let alone with an invasion where one is expected to lay down their life to protect the village. And that meant more than saving one little girl's heart.
"I kn-know you're tr-try-ing to protect m-me fr-rom the tr-truth." I wiped away my tears again. This time being successful in restoring my own sight – mostly, it was still a bit blurry. I tried to focus, to find my centre so that these negative emotions would slough off. "I kno-ow what's gu-gonna happen. But I am going to hold you to your word anyway."
"Ai you are going to schoo-"
"Yes, I am." I had reigned in my emotions enough to keep that annoying stutter out my voice. "It's the safest place." She nodded. Suddenly having to wipe away a tear of her own. "You will keep safe too." That wasn't a suggestion.
She rubbed my cheeks a few times, nodding slowly. It was as if she was still making up her mind on the matter.
"Ka-san. Don't give me that. You are coming home to me tomorrow night. Six-thirty. It's my turn to cook, so i'll know if you're late." I buried my head in her bosom, not wanting to see the look on her face. I just lay there, listening to her heart beating.
That steady thumping became my world. It was all I needed – well that and the perfume she usually has in her cleavage. And her warmth. I don't know how I could get through a day without knowing this vivacious, loudmouthed woman wasn't there to be everything my heart desired.
"Six-thirty, huh?" She sounded amused. "I might be a little late. But no one is keeping me away from you for long." Little did she know it, but I would chase her into the Shinigami's stomach if she dared go back on her word.
8-8
Once out of Tsunade's office –Shizune and some guys I didn't recognize needed an audience with her– I was once again at a loss of what to do. I couldn't stop the invasion. Hell, I couldn't even guarantee anyone's safety with my current level of skill.
I wasn't a crack shot with kunai, my archery could use work – that first shot was the definition of a lucky shot, and the second one proved it (I hit the right target, but it was nearer the ground than the bulls eye).
I wasn't quick enough to hope to be anything but a burden. Hell, the only weapon I can say for a fact I'd be half good with is a sling shot! And that was from when I was my childhood... On my way home, I kinda just decided to laze around town. I wanted to burn this state of Konoha into my memory for all eternity.
I passed this toy store that was just having its grand opening – which was weird, because it was there last week too. But they did have a sale on everything – twenty percent off. Having no real reason not to, I walked into the store for a once over.
There were dolls everywhere, and toy shuriken and kunai. There were board games – they even had something like Trivial Pursuit! But I wasn't going to buy that just now.
There were paint sets, and toy music instruments. And this one rag doll dressed up like Tsunade. Blond pigtails, diamond over her third eye and big brown eyes. It was disproportionate, and a little disturbing to see a chibi Tsunade (the fact it was flat-chested didn't help). I picked it up to take home with me anyway.
On my way to the checkout counter... I passed a... "Sling shot..." It was the reinforced type, with a sling for over your forearm. And there were metallic pellets you had to buy separately. The tongue used to hold the projectiles was big enough to hold a golf ball!
I might not be able to save all of Konoha... but this would definitely be one hell of an edge in my favour! I grabbed the sling shot and ten packs of fifty pellets – it would be a bit heavy, but it helped me to not feel so fucking helpless. And after some calculating it would only cost me three thousand Ryou. I've had more expensive meals!
I made a mental note to pass by the outfitters to pick up a pouch to store it in to not draw attention to it.
The second I got home, I dumped all my stuff in my room and I rushed out to the back yard. We have a target set up for me to practice my archery and kunai. Still, I intended to use it for something different this time around.
Taking the slingshot out of the wrapping it came in and popping one of the pellet bags open, I set about my own personal training. I just wish I had figured out some system to locate those damn pellets easier. But it didn't matter. I knew I had five-hundred in total, and that only one pack of fifty was open. Everything else would just have to be improvised.
I grabbed the slingshot, taking a pellet and loading it up. I took aim and cocked it back. And as a little subconscious incentive, it wasn't a target with a red dot I was aiming at... no, it was Orochimaru. That ugly, white snake with his slit eyes and serpentine habits and pedophiliac tendencies.
Once I released the tongue, and the pellet shot forward... I noticed something. Well, honestly it was more like I noticed it after the damn thing shot straight through the training dummy.
I had pumped the pellet full of chakra. And the pole with the red dot wasn't all too pleased about that. Sure, I missed the damn red dot – by five or six inches – but the spot I did hit, I noticed it was hit!
"Not perfect... but I can always work on my aim." Still, it was going to be a long night. There is no way I'd shoot something with that much latent energy with allies surrounding me and not hitting the target every time!
I grabbed another pellet and took aim. This time, Orochimaru's eye was the red dot. I cocked it back, tilting the slingshot slightly to one side to stabilize it a bit... and-
8-8
I wish I could say I woke up early the next morning. Truth is, I didn't sleep a wink. Tsunade never came home last night and Shizune was obviously with her wherever they were. It didn't matter. I would see her for dinner.
Going about my morning rituals, I took a quick soak, washed my hair and got dressed. I chose skin tight pants and a long sleeved shirt, both dark gray. As well as a slightly more heavy duty belt than I usually wore – this one would need to bear my two new belt pouches and some extra surprises. After that I combed out the knots in my hair and brushed it until it shone. I strapped on my leg pouch, checked to make sure the contents were what I expected, and that they wouldn't be moving around during the day. Then came the two new pouches strapped to my belt – of course I checked the contents in them as well. Then it was time to pull on my jacket and checking the inner pockets as well.
Once satisfied with that, I went to make breakfast. I made sure to make a large pot of coffee because let's face it, a sleeping kunoichi would do no one any good. While eating, I was already packing my bento and going over what I remembered about the invasion. I think the first round started at nine. Shikamaru tried to drag on his match to use the lower sun to his advantage – that meant the invasion would start later this afternoon. School starts at eight-thirty, either with gym or with a wake up lecture.
With Hanabi committing truancy, I would have to hold down the fort alone. Luckily Iruka-sensei was one hell of a level headed shinobi, I won't have to worry about him.
At any rate... this is as prepared as I'm going to be.
I headed out the door, taking a direct route to the Academy. Iruka-sensei was already there – as I suspected he would be. "Good morning, Iruka-sensei." He looked up from his papers and greeted me. "Is everything ready for the evacuation later?" His eyes went wide for a brief moment, before he collected himself. I would have missed it if I didn't expect it.
"Ai-chan I don't-"
"Sensei, I know. I am not going to make a scene about it, and I want to help if I can." He was about to protest again. "I packed only long range tools and weapons. I'm leaving the head to head to you. But I'll be damned if someone thinks they can harm my precious people while I step back and watch." He calmed down a bit – he still wasn't happy with where this was going, but it was better than me playing hero and getting everyone killed.
"What are you trying to achieve exactly?" He's studying my reaction, he needs to know what he's dealing with.
"I'm scared shitless of losing anyone..." I answered. "As well, I want to help them go home to their families." I was gazing right into his eyes when I whispered my answer, I tried adding as much determination as I could muster... but all I had was the fear of someone getting hurt.
"..." He's at least considering the offer. "..." He sure is taking his sweet fucking time though. "Show me what you can do during gym and I'll give my answer." Well, that was fair. I nodded, taking my seat.
8-8
As I suspected, we started our day with a lecture. This one about safety and evacuation procedures. Talk about laying it on thick. No one seemed to notice though – it was just another lecture. Daichi and Kouji were more than happy to crowd me, bugging me about this or that.
Things were as normal as they could be, which didn't say much seeing that it is a hidden village. Well, I wasn't complaining.
Eventually time came for gym. We lined up outside our classroom door facing the exit, like we always do. Only, Iruka-sensei announced that today was indoor gym day. No one questioned a thing. We went down an unfamiliar set of stairs to a large room. There were targets lined up against one side, and taijutsu mats lined up against the other.
"Alright, this is your first free gym class. Basically I want to see how you train. You can work in pairs, or groups. But I want everyone training." He spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, but not a decibel over that.
Shockingly, everyone split off into groups of three without being prompted to. Kouji and Daichi were right next to me for target practice. Kouji had a bow and some arrows, while Daichi was going for kunai throwing. I however, took out my slingshot.
"What's... a slingshot?" Kouji announced for the whole class to hear. I'd smack him, but I saw it coming.
"Yes, a slingshot. As shinobi we must master a variety of weapons, and this happens to be an old favourite of mine." I explained, taking a pellet and aiming. "Watch." I felt the weight of everyone's attention centred solely on me – Iruka's almost feeling like a presence.
I found my centre, drowning out expectations. All that mattered was the target (Orochimaru's left nut, the right one was slain at home). I focused some chakra into the pellet – making sure not to put too much, I didn't want it ripping through the wall.
And I let 'er rip... !
…
…
…
"Su-sugoi...!" Daichi managed. The pellet still managed to rip through the target (taking the red dot with it) and imbedded itself into the wall.
"I used to be able to hit a bird at fifty metres. But this'll do." I nudged Kouji's side, trying to jumpstart his brain. "Wanna see me do it again?" I was looking at Iruka-sensei from the corner of my eye – he was the intended audience of that question. He nodded.
I grabbed one more pellet, took aim and shot it right through the new hole. No added chakra, so it was just an aimed shot. The sound of metal hitting metal announced it took the exact same trajectory as the shot before it. Without being asked, I took another pellet, and another. Never assume slingshots are children's toys... they are fucking dangerous.
Maybe I'll practice with a yoyo later. That'll really fuck with their heads.
I turned to Iruka this time. "What do you think, sensei? Unusual weapon, but just as effective, right?" He snorted, but sobered up quickly. He nodded – I had passed his test.
"Ai-chan, you're so cool!" Kouji was more excited than I was. My only goal was showing Iruka I wouldn't let him down, but I could already tell I'd be giving slingshot classes soon. (^-^)''
"Bet you can't do that with the bow!" Kouji challenged – why would he... Daichi was already trying to talk me about of it – he seemed to know that Kouji got himself into way too much trouble with his big, fat mouth.
"Alright. If I win, you've gotta do fifty laps around the gym." I wagered. He sweatdropped, hoping I sucked.
8-8
We all piled back into the classroom – with Daichi, Kouji and I looking worse for wear. Apparently, Iruka-sensei didn't take to our bet too well. So even though I lost, Kouji had to run the fifty laps with me. Daichi felt left out and decided to join for the hell of it.
Sure, I'd done worse things with Gai-sensei's trainings... but not with all the shit I had in my pouches and jacket! That stuff is heavier than it looks!
Anyway, Iruka-sensei got called away to a meeting. He told me to keep an eye on things, winking at me. This isn't exactly what I had in mind with helping, but I knew what the meeting was about – last minute preparations and any updates anyone had before everything got underway.
"Ai-chan! What's the answer to problem four?" Konohamaru asked. Smart ass. Sensei's leaving me in charge was little more than glorified babysitting, but it did show some level of trust.
"As soon as you calculate it, you'll know." That was a direct quote from Sensei, might I add. Yeah, Konohamaru likes to ask dumb questions like that. I ignored the 'Mou!' that followed. Although Kouji and Daichi laughing was nice. I went back to dealing with my homework – which is what it was, only we were allowed to do it while he was busy so we didn't have to do it later.
"Ai-chan! How'd you do that thing with the slingshot?" Yun asked. She's probably drooling over the possibilities of what she can do if she were to learn it herself.
"I'll answer that if everyone finishes the assignment and Iruka-sensei isn't back as yet." I smiled at her.
Of course, that meant that everyone had some level of motivation to finish quickly. We usually finish these things within an hour – mostly to not encourage sensei to give us another one. This time, everyone was done in ten minutes. Fuck.
"Fine! You win!" I gave up; there was no point in wondering if everyone wanted to hear this. Only, how truthful did I want to be? "Where I grew up, there was nothing better to do. Either you worked the land, or you went about hunting and scavenging for food." I wasn't entirely telling lies. Sure I lived in a big ass city before coming here... but I was from a small, damn nearly microscopic farming community. "I didn't have the strength for farming, so I was sent out to hunt for birds and gather any kind of fruit I came across."
I paused to study my audience. They all were focused on me, wondering what else they didn't know about me. If only they knew...
"A few of the older boys taught me how to fish, to hunt. And some girls taught me which fruits to pick, and which plants were edible. But once you learn the basics, it's on you. So I had to use what little I had to hunt." They were looking at me in disbelief. A princess hunting to survive? Yeah right. I wouldn't believe it either. "And if I didn't bring back enough in a day, I went without. Hunger taught me to shoot straighter than any lecture Sensei could ever give."
They still weren't buying it, but that was okay. "Because I was the smallest, I wasn't allowed to use anything big. All I had was a rusty old pocketknife and a slingshot with some pebbles." They were somehow riveted by my story, not expecting someone their age to be able to talk about stuff like that. I wasn't using my 'old man complaining about the youth' voice, but more my 'storyteller with something interesting to say' voice. Yes, I've seen some shit, thank you. And like any old man, I always have an interesting story you never fully appreciate until you've lived that life.
"If there was a boar or anything big and wild running about, I was easily left out. So I learned to spot birds, and could easily take them out with a well placed pebble. Only, that made the big kids jealous. It was hard on their ego to see the runt of the pack bring home three to four birds a day, while they were lucky if they got a single kill in a week. So they started picking on me, stealing my catches. So I had to learn how to fight. It was either that, or you go home empty handed and go to bed on an empty stomach." They paid keen attention to my story, not fully realizing how good they'd really had it.
That was as far as I was willing to go with my story. Any more would start rehashing memories I really didn't want to get into.
"An interesting story, Ai-chan." Iruka-sensei was clapping for me – joined by the rest of the class. I took no joy in it though – I had hated hunting those birds, it felt so wrong. It was one of the reasons I went vegetarian once I hit the big city – I knew where meat and poultry really came from.
"Thanks for listening." I bowed to my audience, hoping no one saw the hollowness of my eyes. I went back to my seat, seeing that Sensei didn't need me to keep an eye on the rugrats any longer.
"Alright, I trust you all finished your assignments. Who can tell me the solution to the first problem?"
8-8
The day seemed to drag on into eternity. I guess knowing that hell was waiting to be unleashed had the worst kind of effect on my nerves. When lunch time rolled around, everyone was itching to go outside to eat. However, it seemed that that was the worst possible scenario that the staff wanted to avoid.
Can you imagine the invasion starting with all the students outside running around? Nope, we were eating inside, and Iruka-sensei would hear no complaints about it. I agreed with the logic.
"Hey Daichi, what'd you get for lunch?" I asked, trying to help steer the conversation away from where we were eating.
"Ai-chan, you've gotta talk to sensei! We've been inside all day. I don't wanna eat in here too!" He complained. I noticed most of my classmates were nodding in agreement, but no one wanted to-
"Yeah, what's up with that Iruka-sensei! You can't keep us locked in here forever!" Scratch that, Konohamaru was more than willing to take the fight straight to sensei.
"Hey! What's the use in complaining?" I got everyone's attention. "Look, we are in a situation we don't like. But this is training. What's going to happen if you're on a mission later on, and you need to guard someone in their house for a week? Are you going to fail, because you want to go outside?"
They all looked around, trying to find someone that had a counter argument. No one did. "So look, let's just all sit down together, talk about who's getting better at what. And enjoy our lunches." I took out my bento, already unwrapping it. Kouji and Daichi soon followed – probably thinking that if I can take it, so can they. I really can't figure out what our relationship is, or what it's becoming. Maybe I should just take them outside and beat the crap out of them to see if they'll fight back? Nah... maybe tomorrow.
Not long after, Matsuri and Yun decided to join us. Futaba and Choco were close on their heels though. No one bothered resisting after that – other than the Prince of Primpuss. "Come on, Pervymaru! Just because Hanabi-chan's not here to hug up to, doesn't mean you have to be anti-social!" I made sure everyone heard me, but I made doubly sure to make a mental note of the blush on his face. They like each other! Nabi-chan's gonna hit the roof when she hears this. (^-^)
I kept a keen eye on everyone's mood – I needed to spot anyone that started getting suspicious. Konohamaru was my first concern, seeing as he was the least likely to keep his trap shut. My second was Matsuri. She was... troublesome.
She's only lazy in the vaguest sense of the word. Anything that was physical fell into the troublesome category for her, but her mouth ran on a different wavelength – she was the class gossip. The ability to figure everything out, and the desire to announce it at the worst possible times. She is the fucking definition of troublesome right now.
"So, Konohamaru and Hanabi, huh." Matsuri was sitting a little too close to me for my own personal comfort. "It makes sense, but I doubt he's going to figure it out any time soon."
"Wow, Matsuri's taking an interest in romance. Watch out world." I shot back, not really interested in letting her drag Nabi-chan's name through the mud for her own enjoyment.
"Ai, you and I both saw that coming. And frankly, I'm hurt that you would think I would use that against her." She intoned. She sounds like a mini Shikamaru with female intuition.
"Matsuri, I'd be lying if I said I figure out half of what you are. So pardon me for being cautious." I said.
"Troublesome brunette." She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "So what's with the teacher's pet thing you've got going on?" Curiosity's a bitch.
"The answer is more troublesome than you want to deal with right now." I shrugged, not breaking eye contact. It was 100% true, and she'd thank me when she sees that. She just rolled her eyes, obviously agreeing with me.
8-8
I was fit to be tied after three o'clock hit. Time seemed to enjoy pissing on my forehead, the sluggish bastard! It being Spring, the sun was low on the horizon – well, low enough for those long ass shadows that lazy bastard must have been waiting for!
Any minute now that damn explosion is going to go off and we can get the fuck up outta here! Fucking Sasuke and Kakashi and their late, tardy, not on time fucking asses! I'm soo giving him an earful the second I lay eyes on him – both hims!
Matsuri has been eying me all fucking day. Iruka-sensei was called away for two more meetings, leaving me in charge both times. We even had a second 'gym class' to help burn off nervous energy! And I still didn't get any fucking sleep! BLOW SOMETHING THE FUCK UP, YOU INBRED MOTHERFUCKERS!
But of course it won't happen until I believe it's the worst possible fucking timing. Karma demands that much from me!
Whatever, just stay calm and let it happen. Just make sure to stay calm. I took in a few deep breaths, calming myself down. I closed my eyes, feeling sleep trying to claim me – maybe later Sandman-san... call me!
Then it happened... the worst possible thing I could ever fucking imagine... the absolute worst state you can be in when shit hits the fan... I had to take a shit!
BOOOOOM!
The classroom shook with the intensity of the explosion. Of course! Now that I need to lay a fucking brick, now that I have the desire to sit still just long enough to relieve myself! NOW THEY FUCKING BLOW SOME SHIT SKY HIGH!
If I didn't hate Sound-nin before, I sure as hell do now...
My classmates were already at the point of freaking out. And my bowels were agreeing with them. Fuck it, suck it up. I've got shit to do. "Everyone, remain calm." Iruka said, just barely above the sound of flaming charcoal that used to be someone's house littered the streets. "Follow me, and everything will be just fine."
Matsuri's eyes found mine, a question begging for an answer. I nodded, trying not to close my eyes from the lack of sleep – I'm so taking a sleeping pill for the next big thing... this sucks! I should have fucking gone to the stadium with Nabi-chan... she must be sleeping this whole bullshit away!
Whatever, not helping. Iruka-sensei motioned for us to follow him, but he whispered for me to take up the back of the line – to keep the sheep from straying, he'd said. Whatever, I just grabbed my slingshot and one pellet. Our classroom was empty in less than thirty seconds.
8-8
So much for the fight or flight response that should be turning off my body's desire to shit my guts out! Now I feel like I've got to pee as well! Fucking basic biological needs...
Well, the timing couldn't be worse, but that was nothing new for me. I just tensed my ass muscles and sucked it up. Hopefully I don't give myself an orgasm from this – I was asleep during my last near orgasm from that dumb ass wet nightmare, so I haven't figured out my limit or the signs it's coming. Or if merely tensing my muscles and walking would cause one... not a whole lotta girls willing to tell a guy they don't know very well what makes them orgasm... and the ones I knew well enough... the wife would never admit to anything revealing and asking my sister or mom... eww. It's playing it by ear this time around. Well, maybe that's for the best.
Kouji and Daichi are taking up the rear with me, with Futaba and Choco not far in front. The Konohamaru Corps are somewhere up ahead, and Iruka-sensei is in the lead. We had met up with a few other classes already, who were all ahead of us other than the class that was one year ahead of us. Their teacher chose to take up the rear, leaving one smart ass soon to be corpse that didn't get that I wasn't interested in him.
Honestly, we're being evacuated, and you choose now to hit on me? Fucking, horny ass, shit-face baboon! The fact that I want to shit in his mouth to shut him up wasn't helping – nor was the need to release said shit anyway.
Every few minutes another explosion would go off, shaking the walls of the dilapidated tunnel. This thing must have been carved out in Tobirama-sama's time!
As far as I could tell, we were taking some secret tunnel from the Academy to some safe house somewhere. Dunno where, it was never a priority to analyze before. The thing that troubled me though, was that a section was coming up with windows. Who the fuck designs a secret tunnel with windows? Whatever. I just pulled my slingshot taut, making sure I was ready for anything.
"Konohamaru-kun, do you have a tummy ache?" Moegi asked. That sounded vaguely familiar. Like it was supposed to have some value. Whatever. Focus!
We walked on ahead, almost to the spot with the windows now. I felt uncomfortable with those windows, no particular reason beyond a hunch and a bad feeling. I eyed them with the same amount of suspicion a ninja with a non Konoha forehead protector would receive. But we passed with no incident. Still, I didn't trust those windows.
Further and further, we walked. Few of us dared speak at all, and no one complained. Still, there was an uncomfortable fear in everyone's eyes – not for themselves, but for their families. Futaba grabbed her poufy hat, hugging it to her chest. She's not crying on the outside, but I see her crying on the inside. "Futaba-chan." She turned to me, eyes wide and a few clicks south of freaking out. I tossed her something from inside my jacket. "That's my Tsunade doll. I like cuddling her when I get scared. Maybe she'll help you like she helps me." It was an old trick from every nurse that ever had a child patient: a doll with emotional value is all the comfort they'd ever need.
She didn't look any less scared, but she didn't look like she was going to puke from nerves anymore either. Hugging both the doll and her hat, she turned back around and kept walking. I noticed the boy that had been annoying the shit out of me make a stupid comment, but one of his female classmates punched him in the ribs to shut him up. Not my problem.
We continued on, to a spot with more windows! Seriously, people... secrets and windows are not synonymous! Look it the fuck up!
Ignoring my own mental rant, I pulled the slingshot taut once again. I knew we were safe – there were more than enough chuunin to protect us. Still...
"So cutey, what say you let me buy you lunch when this is all over." The idiot didn't take hints well. At all.
"Sure, just give me the money and I'll tell you how good it was." I countered. "And I expect a decent tip for the waitress." The look on his face was priceless. I was about to rub it in further when-
"SENSEI!" Konohamaru's scream was barely heard over the sound of breaking glass. I looked up to see a tall man with green hair breaking though the window. Before I could hope to react, Iruka-sensei was already engaging the enemy.
There was a flurry of motion I didn't try keeping track off. I kept my slingshot trained on the duo anyway. All I needed was one opening.
Which unfortunately came in the form of Iruka-sensei getting pinned to the wall. That left the other shinobi open – which I didn't wait for someone to announce. I let the pellet fly with more chakra than strictly needed – not that I had noticed beforehand.
Time slowed. Following the pellet and its dim glow towards its target. It passed Daichi and Kouji. It wizzed past Choco and Futaba. Shot past Yun. Blazed past – what the fuck, was it speeding up, or was my brain slowing down?
Anyway, it hit the target right in the temple. No gunshot to block out the sound of metal hitting bone... or breaking through bone (the worst snapping sound you could ever imagine couldn't hold a candle to that sound) then a squishy metal ripping though soft tissue... and metal hitting against bone again.
He was dead before his corpse hit the ground.
My slingshot dropped from my grasp as I ran up to the man. I pushed him over, already checking for a pulse and breathing – he had both, but were steadily tapering off. He was brain dead. Logically.
The force behind the pellet popped his eyes partly out of his head, and the entrance wound was weeping. Following tradition –yeah, Senju clan laws covered a lot of different, seemingly unrelated, topics– I scanned him for weapons that might well be useful. There were dual swords strapped to his back, they were quickly unstrapped as I relieved him of it. He won't need them where he's going. Soon after I unstrapped his leg pouch, and the two on his belt. I'd filter through it later.
"Give me a hand here, sensei." I bent down, grabbing the man by his shirt. It barely even registered that Sensei's hands covered and dwarfed mine. With a heave, the Sound-nin was standing – sort of. With another he was falling out of the window he came through. I made a sign with my right hand, closed my eyes... and whispered to his soul how sorry I was.
"Let's get moving people." I announced. "He wasn't alone and I don't feel like killing again if I don't have to." I was of course referring to enemy ninja, but if leaving that up in the air got them moving faster... well, I was all for it.
8-8
When we made our way into a large, windowless room... I finally relaxed. We didn't encounter any more trouble, which was a good thing.
The first thing I did was going to the bathroom and puking my guts up. Funny, how I held it all in that long. My brain was barely functioning at that point. All I could see was his limp body falling. All I could hear was the pellet I fired hitting his skull. It's a sound you never forget. Ever.
My body chose that moment to remind me that I still had other needs to tend to, so I flushed the toilet once –the scent of vomit was never my favourite– did my dos, then flushed again. I washed my hands, washed my face, rinsed out my mouth, nearly puked again (dry heaving felt worse than actually throwing up). I flushed the toilet once last time, for luck... then turned to the door. I was just about ready to face the firing squad.
I barely opened the door before seeing Iruka-sensei standing there. "How are you feeling?" Stupid question, sensei.
"Like hell." Which was probably my next stop. I offered a lopsided grin, to show that I wasn't falling apart at the seams. "I knew it was a possibility when I offered to help." I told him honestly. Still, possibilities... chances... they meant nothing when faced with the real deal.
"Your first kill?" He wondered why I was taking this so well.
"Second." His eyes widened slightly. "The asshole that landed me in a coma was the first." He nodded, understanding. "It doesn't get any easier... does it...?"
"No. But that's a good thing." He smiled, pulling me into a hug. "Feeling bad about taking a life is good."
"Good... that means I'm a fucking angel." I wonder if he didn't understand my muffled complaint, or if he just chose to ignore it.
8-8
Explosions were still happening every five minutes or so. Everyone was huddled together, trying to keep each other calm. The Academy students and staff weren't the only ones in the shelter we found ourselves in – there were civilians, genins and a few faces I actually recognized. I wasn't in a talkative mood though.
"I can't believe Ai-sama took one of them down by herself." I heard the whispers, it was hard not to. I honestly didn't have the strength to chew them out for it – there was no honour in taking someone's life. He was someone's brother, someone's father, someone's husband, someone's son. Instead of wallowing though, I just slumped in a corner. I was tired.
My classmates were all huddled around me, Futaba, Daichi and Kouji being physically the closest. Both boys flanked me – literally forbidding anyone that I didn't want to see to get anywhere near me. Futaba though... she had her head in my lap, with her arms wrapped around my waist. She was still scared – and I couldn't blame her. I wished I could wrap my arms around someone too... only there was one person that would fit the bill. And she was still out there fighting.
I leaned back against the wall, my thoughts ever on the mother I had just barely found. Where was she? Was she okay? Was she thinking about me too? Would she be mad at me for what I did? Would she be proud?
And what about Shizune-nee-san? She was probably at Ka-san's side, where she belongs. Sakura's out there with Naruto and Sasuke. Hinata though... She'd be alright. Neji and her father would see to that.
And yet, my heart was not at peace. I had gone against the Hippocratic Oath, again. This time I can't even claim to be protecting someone that couldn't protect themselves. Iruka was not defenceless – not by any stretch of imagination.
"Ai-chan?" Konohamaru was looking at me, both shame and respect in his eyes. "Can I talk to you?" I could almost hear the omitted 'alone'. I looked down at the now sleeping blond, then at my two bodyguards. Iruka-sensei picked Futaba up, somehow managing to not wake her. I didn't even remember agreeing to or asking for any of it. But hey, I'm sure Konohamaru needed someone to talk to – and knowing Iruka-sensei, he suggested talking to me. When the hell did I end up being the leader around here?
"Thanks, Ai." The young Sarutobi began. He kept his voice so low it was actually hard to hear him – this was a confidential conversation apparently.
"For what? I should be the one thanking you. If you hadn't called out, sensei wouldn't have made it on time. If sensei hadn't made it on time..." I didn't want to finish that sentence. There were lives in the balance, and Konohamaru reacted the best way he could. "I should be the one thanking you."
"For what?" His voice spoke of his anger (mostly at himself) and his feeling helpless.
"If you had fought, what would have happened?" I asked. I may have had a stake in the execution, but in head to head I was no better off than Konohamaru – and he knew it. Hanabi might have stood a chance, but seeing that a chuunin was being overpowered...
"No, Konohamaru, you did the right thing in calling sensei. You saved lives by reacting the way you did. And even if you're not... I am proud of you." I told him honestly. His eyes were still hollow, almost haunted. He was thinking about the alternative.
"I need to get stronger." He said. He was thinking about his dream to become Hokage, and probably thinking about what Naruto would have done.
"We both do." I agreed with him. Next time, we might not have Iruka-sensei to protect us. Then I had a thought. I reached for the twin swords I scalped. "I propose a pact." I offered him one of the blades. "These swords will embody our oath to become stronger. Stronger than the previous Hokages. Strong enough to defend our home." He looked at me a little funny. Slowly. Ever so slowly. Understanding dawned on him.
He took the sword and sheath, wrapping it around his shoulder as I aped his movements. I lifted my right hand, balled in a fist. He saw this, and we bumped our fists together... solidifying our oath. I briefly wondered whether I would look back on that moment and smile, or curse because I created another Gai.
Nah, another Naruto or Jiraiya, maybe... but uncle Gai would always be in a class of his own.
8-8
Later – don't ask me what time. The explosions were slowing down. There were ten, sometimes fifteen or twenty minutes between blasts. They weren't any less nerve wrecking, but it was good to know it was slowing down.
The girls of our class kinda banded together, trying to help everyone get settled in and comfortable. There was no telling how long we'd be there, so we decided to make the best of it. Iruka-sensei and another teacher –Suzume-sensei, who taught some of the more specialized kunoichi courses we'd be taking soon enough– drafted us into sharing out food and drinks to everyone, with our 'secret mission' being to monitor the mental health of those around us. The civvies were a bit complacent that we didn't have 'real food', but the shinobis and shinobi hopefuls were grateful to get anything at all.
I was just getting down to the last few I had been piggied with when – "Ji-chan! It's good to see you're alright!" I announced, calling out to Yun that her grandfather was in the same shelter as us. Poor girl was so out of it that she didn't think to look around for a familiar face.
"Ah, Ai-chzan. Yesz, it'sz good to szee you tsoo." He smiled, obviously still half asleep. "And you have Yun-chzan with you! How are my girlsz doing?" Half his face was sagged, the other half curled up in a smile. And a lazy tongue? FUCK!
"IRUKA-SENSEI!" I bellowed out. He was at my side before I could even fully pronounce his name. "We need a medic here now. He's had a stroke, and I don't know how much time has already passed." I whispered in his ear. There was no way I was killing someone AND losing a patient on the same fucking day!
He was already shaking his head. "The medics are all at the hospital. No way to reach them without risking more lives." You've got to be shitting me! And knowing how stubborn old people can get, he'd refuse to risk so much as one life against his own.
Fuck it. I wasn't even wasting brain cells on figuring out the logic behind that shit. "Ji-chan, listen to me very carefully, okay?" His eyes were slow to focus on me. "You've had a stroke, and I need to see how bad off you really are right now."
"Ai-chzan, don'ts you worry yourszelf about thisz old man. I've lived long enough tso know thats our tsime here isz limitsed." He smiled, patting my head.
"I'll stop worrying when you let me examine you. No arguments, Ji-chan. I have too much to learn from you to lose you now." Without asking, I hovered both of my palms about an inch from his skin – he was already lying down on a cot, so that saved time. I knew the most damage would be within his skull, but I needed to check for external sources as well, so I started scanning at his feet. There were a few oddities I was unused to, but nothing lethal – and it isn't hard to tell the difference. A sprained ankle, some overused tendons. Signs of arthritis to the lower spine and left wrist.
Ending my scan at the skull, I felt the exact spot of the stroke: the brain stem. If he fell asleep right now, he'd never wake up – he'd be physically incapable of waking up. "You know, you remind me szo mutz of Tsentsen a few yearsz ago. Yun tsoo, a bits. Buts Tsentsen had the szame focusz asz you."
"Oh, don't you think Yun is focused?" I wanted to keep him talking. Knowing he had to stay awake, he just had to keep talking. No sleeping on the job for you, Ji-chan.
"Yesz, buts focuszed on szomesing diff'rents. Yun isz more of a weapon szmith, like me. Buts Tsentsen... sze's a weapon uszer. Sze didn'ts wants tso be ze one zats makes weaponsz..." His breathing is slowing. "Sze wantsed to be ze one uszing weaponsz to szave zem. And I'm damn proud of her. Of all my family." He knows his time is short. I've seen this a hundred times, if not more. He can feel something wrong, like he's at the end of his rope. He's trying to offer his last message.
No. No! "Don't you want to tell her that? I'm sure she'd want to hear it from you." I placed both hands on his ears, already flooding his skull with my energy. This would be a gamble anyway you look at it. On the one hand, overdosing him with energy will make him sleepy, and if he falls asleep he won't wake up. On the other, doing nothing meant automatic death.
Even while letting the energy flow through him to help any way I could, I was seeking my centre. The sounds around me were drowning out. The sporadic shakes no longer registering. Traditional colours were fading away, leaving only... what the eye cannot perceive.
His bones glowed jade green, his muscles white... his nerves spread out like a yellow spider web. This was the pinnacle of my art. This is what I strove for years to master, and even longer to help others learn.
It didn't have a name – the one that taught it was more focused on use than name, but then... he was the same one that referred to the supreme universal consciousness as 'IT'. However, what it did was breath taking – it used a mixture of life energies (mine and the patient's) to repair the patient. It had a few drawbacks, for user and patient... but none of them were death, so it was A-okay in my book!
I felt my consciousness entering his being, wrapping around the damaged tissue... I felt the pain he felt – and fuck you, that shit IS PAINFUL! Luckily the stroke itself isn't particularly painful –not a lot of pain receptors in the brain (probably why stroke is so dangerous, you don't know for sure you've had one until it's too late)– but the muscle damage, the arthritis... how the fuck did he wake up in the morning?
Focusing a little harder –time was of the essence in this state– I offered what energy I could to help him heal. The thing about this technique is that it doesn't do anything special, it merely give you the energy to heal yourself. Well, that and I denies me the knowledge if my own body is damaged or not.
Drawing back to my own shell... I felt drained. I opened my eyes, seeing the familiar colours, tasting the air around me. Feeling my hands against his unshaven, stubbly cheeks. I snapped my hands back like I'd been burned, which didn't feel far from the truth. That shit is painful after just re-entering!
And... WRRRRRRRRRRRR! FUCK! It felt like a black hole was just created in my stomach. I felt so hungry I had to bite back the tears.
People were swarming around me, shouting this, asking that. I couldn't hear any of them. All I know what that I felt tender. And everyone seemed to want to touch me, check my temperature... some shit. It felt like I was being stabbed my needles over and over. This technique never felt this bad before! What was different? Was it that this body wasn't used to it? Did I have to relearn the detachment to pain? It certainly felt like it.
The combination of low energy, the pain from any kind of physical contact and the pack of rabid wolves running around my digestive tract... well, passing out might not have been such a bad idea.
8-8
Pain. That's all I felt. Pain and hunger. Well, that's more than just pain, but hunger felt painful too. So it was more of a... subcategory. I didn't want to open my eyes just yet, it wasn't likely to make the experience any less painful.
"-irresponsible things I've ever seen! What was she thinking?" I recognize the voice. I really do. I just can't tag a name to it just yet.
"Maybe she takes more off of you that you thought." Another voice giggled, clearly amused.
"Not funny." The first voice was to the point of either pulling out their hair, or wrecking something. Maybe both. "Did you tea-"
"Tsunade-sama, I don't even know what she did." Tsunade? Ka-san? I struggled to open my eyes, but they felt leaden.
"Then how did-" The energy it takes to open one's eyes is small, almost insignificant. Most of us don't even realize that it takes any energy at all. But when suffering from malnutrition, acute or chronic fatigue, or anything even remotely associated with tiredness or lethargy... well, anything can feel like a chore – or even impossible.
"-think she made it up on the spot. Someone taught her, someone knows something."
I can actually hear you, just in case you were wondering. "Nnn...!" I complained. Maybe that will shut them-
"Ai-chan, baby... can you hear me?" Talk about a one-eighty.
"Nnn." I complained again.
"Young lady, you are in so much trouble..." Came the threat. Great, and here I thought you'd be happy to see me.
"Ka... san... slee... py..." I complained. Something warm wrapped around me. Then... like a tidal wave, something even warmer swept me away. It was... amazing. Like lying in the sun all day. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in so long. Something.
Something warm... wholesome. "Ai... don't you ever scare me like that again..." Is this what... I think it is...?
Thinking back to the group hugs from both my kids... my son whispering in my ear that I would always be his bestest friend in the whole world (he always had said it in Dutch, but 'mijn aller aller beste vriend in de hele wereld' does come close)... my daughter telling me she couldn't sleep without a kiss goodnight...
This warmth felt like that. I just wish I knew the name to it. Maybe I'll ask after I get another five minutes of sleep...? Nah... it really is my turn to cook. So maybe later...
8-8
End Chapter 4
A/N: For those wondering, what Ai was doing isn't Medical Jutsu, not exactly. It's a real world combination of Shiatsu Massage and Prana Healing. Don't believe if you don't want to, but it's as real as breathing.
At any rate, this chapter is a bit different (topic wise and layout). I hope this is what Elivira was getting at (?). And on a more... twisted note... Tsunade may seem OOC here, but the next chapter will explain why. It will also be something of a comedic view on overprotective parents.
I hope you are all enjoying the show thus far, and leave a review to let me know what you think!