Chapter 3: Sam

Sam sank down onto his bed, music blasting out of his stereo like he liked it. Sighing he put his arms behind his back and stared up at the ceiling. He felt strange, like he didn't really know who he was or what he was doing here, wherever that was. Not that he wasn't cool with not living in New York anymore, he was enjoying living in a quieter town, he just wasn't sure if he belonged somewhere like it.

Sam had always seemed to have problems with being himself, or even knowing who himself even was. He'd always felt a little different than the other boys he'd grown up around all of his life, but today it had seemed to become much worse. In New York he had always noticed other people who seemed as different as he was, but he never made contact with them because he was scared of what he would find in himself if he did. But at least they were around. At least that way he knew he wasn't the only one. But, here, in Lima, teenagers were much more prone to the norm, which was what Sam wanted to be around and how he wanted to be, but after just one day at the school he felt more alone than ever. How was that even possible? Sam just didn't understand what was wrong with him. It was like someone had suddenly sucked the life out of him and left him in a hole to die.

Sam sighed. Only a few things had happened during the day that Sam had actually enjoyed. One was seeing his good friend Finn again. Since they'd met, Finn had always given Sam hope because even though Finn acted like every other jock back then, Sam had seen that he was different too and better than all of the others. And seeing Finn again had only shown how much he had been right about that and how much Finn had completely shed his Jock skin since then. And with that came another good thing about the day, though Sam was confused as to why it was a good thing when he didn't understand how he was feeling about it, because, really, it felt like a bad thing at the same time: Meeting Kurt Hummel. As soon as Sam had first looked at him, he knew he had met someone that didn't belong in Lima, at all. He was different, special and… cute. Kurt scared Sam, because Sam couldn't seem to get Kurt out of his head… and he had no idea why he thought Kurt was cute or why Kurt made his stomach swim with butterflies or his heart speed up.

Finn had also talked to Sam about Glee club, which was very interesting to Sam. Though he hadn't really met any of the Glee club members today (except for Kurt… Sam's heart shuddered at the mere thought of him…), it both intrigued and scared Sam. The guys in Glee club sounded like a group of people similar to those he used to see around in New York. And because he ran away from that in New York, Sam didn't know if he should be running from them now or going with his heart… because he really wanted to join them. They sounded special, different. Even Mike, Matt, Puck, Santana and Brittany sounded different, though they were part of the popular ring as well…. Sam had to ask himself: could Glee Club be what he really needed? To be happy, to bring out who he really was? Did he have the guts to do that? To go against everything he'd worked at being his whole life? To be who he really was once and for all?

Sam drew in a breath and sighed. His brain kept ticking over the thoughts he was having. Finn was lucky. Finn was a jock and in Glee club, he was doing what he loved… but Finn'd said that he was being picked on for it and had drew apart from the other jocks, who always called him a fag… so it wasn't all good. Sam shuddered. Sam didn't want that, it would probably kill him… to be called… what he thought he was…

No! Sam shook his head. Ignore that, Sam!

He had to join Glee club, because who really cares about a stupid bunch of jocks, anyway? They were idiots! Being with people like Finn and Kurt sounded like a much better option, even if it was going to be difficult…he had to do it. He had to let himself live the life he really wanted, even if he didn't really know what that life was. All he knew was he didn't want this life he was living now anymore. Glee was calling him and he was going to answer the phone.

The next day after a restless sleep, Sam got up to take his shower and got ready for his second day at William McKinley High. Sam's breathing was shallow as he got ready and as he drove to school his palms got all wet and his heart was beating so hard it was basically jumping out of his chest.

He was still going to do it though. The prospect of doing it was so much that he was really hurting inside and he felt like vomiting up his breakfast (which he really shouldn't have eaten, but there it was) but he was going to do it anyway. He just had to.

He arrived in the school parking lot and parked his car. Sighing deeply and trying to calm himself, he grabbed his back pack from the passenger seat, and slung it over his back as he got out of his car and walked towards the school entrance. In the distance he could make out another figure walking there. A figure that looked very much like the petite figure of Kurt Hummel.

Sam stared at Kurt, watching his hips swivel slightly as he walked and he found himself looking right at Kurt's ass, which was small and quite… Sam shook his head and adverted his eyes. What was he thinking?

Sam walked into the school awhile after Kurt and walked straight towards where he knew Mr. Schuester's office was. When he got there he knocked on the door and heard Mr. Schuester call out "come in."

Sam opened the door awkwardly and went inside. Mr. Schuester was sitting at his desk, reading over a stack of papers which were probably song sheets. He looked up as Sam closed the door and smiled at him. Sam smiled back awkwardly.

Mr. Schuester waved at his seat for Sam to sit down and as he sat, Mr. Schuester said, "Hey, you must be the new guy, Sam?" Sam nodded and Mr. Schuester grinned. "Well, how can I help you?"

Sam cleared his throat. "Actually, Mr. Schuester, I was hoping that… maybe… I'd really like to join Glee club… is there any chance I can audition?"

Mr. Schuester's smile widened and he clapped his hands together. "Of course! We're actually having auditions today after school. Can you be ready?"

Sam gulped and nodded. "uhh… Sure…I guess… I've ….got a few ideas."

"That's great," Mr. Schuester said, "looking forward to hearing you."

Sam smiled awkwardly at him before standing up and saying, "Cool, well… see you later, then, Mr. Schue…" and walking towards the door.

"Sure. Bye, Sam," Mr. Schuester waved his hand before looking back down onto his music, the smile never fading from his face.

Sam walked towards his locker, feeling slightly relieved that at least that part of the day had passed but not really losing any of his nervousness. What on earth should he do? He had no idea what song to sing and he had to audition that day!

He was panicking so much that he couldn't even concentrate on opening his locker and he nearly dropped his bag as his body shook with nerves.

But this was nothing to how shocked and nervous he suddenly felt when he felt a small prod on his arm. He jumped and looked around to see Kurt Hummel looking at him. Sam's heart sped up and he swore it was so loud it sounded like a jet plane going up. Sam blinked at Kurt in horror, his mouth gaping open.

Kurt smiled and raised his eyebrows at him. "Uh… Hi, Sam… I'm sorry for scaring you."

Sam opened his mouth and couldn't speak so he cleared his throat and tried to bring his mouth into more of a smile. It probably looked like a grimace. Shaking his head, he replied, "me? Scared? I don't think so!"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Well, anyway… I just wanted to say hi, see how you're going."

Sam smiled awkwardly (he seemed to be doing that a lot lately). "Oh…Well, hi…. And I'm ok… how are you?" he said, turning away from Kurt and finally opening his locker, hoping he looked collected rather than a complete idiot.

Kurt nodded. "Just fine."

Sam turned and smiled at him, mumbling, "cool" before looking away to grab his books.

There was a short silence between them before Kurt cleared his throat and said, "So, Sam… Finn said you can sing… Are you going to audition for Glee club today?"

Sam swallowed before closing his locker and turning to look at Kurt. "Actually… yes, I am. I just went and talked to Mr. Schuester about it."

Kurt's face lit up and Sam couldn't help thinking that he looked so cute… Sam groaned to himself and almost missed what Kurt was saying. "That's great! Guess I'll see you there then! We're all going to be in to listen to our potential new recruits."

Sam smiled and nodded, his heart in his throat. Just great, he had to do the hardest thing in his life in front of everyone, in front of Kurt! This was going to be so embarrassing! "Oh, awesome!" He mumbled… "I'll get to meet you all sooner than I expected."

Kurt grinned and seemed to hesitate before saying, "Well, you can meet some of them even sooner than that if you want. You can join us for lunch today, if you'd like."

Sam stared at him in surprise and blurted out, "No!" before he could even think about it, when his heart was saying Yes! Yes! Yes!

Kurt looked at him in hurt and Sam cleared his throat. "Uh… I'd love to but… I've got to do some stuff with the Coach… you know, for football practice," he mumbled, trying to justify his outburst.

Kurt nodded and sighed, looking disappointed. "Another time then?" he asked, hopefully.

Sam nodded slighty. "Yeah… ok… sure."

Kurt smiled. "Awesome. Well… I'd better get to class. See you in Auditions."

Sam smiled. "Yeah…sure… see you, Kurt."

Kurt waved, turned around and walked away. Sam stared after him for awhile, before quickly turning around just in time to miss seeing Kurt looking back at him over his shoulder.