a/n: Thank you so much for your lovely reviews! I can't thank everyone in person as there were some guest comments, so I can only mention here how happy I am! This chapter was also read by hazelra7 in advance, thank you again for your help, you always have such great insights for keeping them IC! This time I have Sheldon think just one teeny-weeny reference from ep. 8x15, the troll manifestation, but in a different context, so I'm not sure if that even counts as spoiler. It really doesn't tell you anything about that episode. Uhm… as I got a bit carried away with the story, this will not be the final chapter as I had announced earlier, but one really final chapter 5 is yet to come:-)
Saturday morning, Apartment 4A, 2311 N. Los Robles Avenue
Sheldon was pacing the apartment nervously. He couldn't even recall the contents of the latest Dr. Who episode he had just watched during breakfast. His thoughts had been otherwise occupied and had nothing to do with solving proton decay in dark matter. He's had another one of these Amy dreams that were disturbing his sleeping patterns regularly recently.
It had been especially vivid this time. It still was a mystery how she had managed to get in that situation, but Amy had been covered in chocolate sauce and he had to help her getting clean. It was a mess indeed, but it didn't bother him. At that point he had realized that he was dreaming, but as he had already started cleaning her up… using a gustatory organ that was not originally intended for such tasks, he had to finish it… 'Oh no don't go there again,' he chastised himself. After a futile attempt to control his traitorous body with Kolinahr he had then been forced to another embarrassing session of self-abuse in order to finally catch some much needed sleep.
And soon real Amy would pick him up for grocery shopping. He was in hell. The chamomile tea he had just prepared wasn't helping to calm him down, either.
Leonard came down to the living room. Today was the part of the week he would be spending with Penny, so he was in a great mood. "Hey, what's up, buddy?" He greeted Sheldon and gave him a huge grin, feeling confident that even Sheldon couldn't manage to annoy him this morning.
Sheldon winced at Leonard talking to him as he hadn't registered him enter. "Why should anything be up? I have no idea what you are referring to!" He answered in an irritated tone.
"Whoa, relax. It's just a figure of speech. You seem tense today, are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Not tense at all. Neither nervous nor tired." Sheldon wanted to put the tea mug back on the counter but hit the rim of the counter which made the rest of the tea spill over. "Son of a biscuit," he cursed as he went to get the kitchen roll. "Now I can start all over again." And he started to boil water for another tea.
"Ah, I get it," Leonard smiled. "It's your big grocery shopping day, right? And you'll have the apartment ALL for yourself tonight. That might be a reason for being nervous…"
Sheldon snorted in in an attempt of haughty derision. "We go grocery shopping all the time. And tonight is laundry night. Your point being…?"
"Well, you haven't made much effort, uhm, to hide the recent… progress in your relationship," Leonard said, thinking of two days ago when he picked up Sheldon after date night, and of course he hadn't forgotten the disturbing image of Amy clinging to him on the kitchen counter earlier this week…
Sheldon looked away. "You just have a tendency to arrive at… inappropriate times. And I don't see how that should be any of your business."
"It's not, you're right. I'm sorry." Leonard went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for himself. Sheldon went to sit in his spot on the couch with the tea mug in his hands.
After a while, Sheldon spoke again. "Leonard. How often do you think about Penny on an average day?"
'Oh boy, he's got it bad,' Leonard thought. But he still was in a good mood, so he decided to play along. "I haven't counted. Well… even if she's not around, she's always on my mind when I wake up… and before I go to sleep, of course. And now that you mention it, also during the day, there are often little things that remind me of her…" And he smiled, thinking of his beautiful fiancée. "Why do you ask?" He said innocently when Sheldon hadn't responded yet.
"I fear… that I might be becoming obsessed with Amy... I can't get her out of my head. I have… troubles sleeping. I'm not functioning properly anymore. There's no way I could keep up on the Nobel track like this. And… we tried to put some control in it… but I think it backfired. How can I make this stop?"
"Just… give it some time. It will get easier."
"That's the best advice you have? I am indeed attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis…"
"Then talk about it with Amy. She will understand."
Before Sheldon could answer, there was a knock on the door.
"It's open!" Leonard called and Amy entered.
"Hi Amy," Leonard said.
"You're early," Sheldon stated, still sitting in his spot. He tried not to pay too much attention to her standing there, but couldn't help his eyes already roaming all over her body.
"Hello Leonard. And good morning to you, too, Sheldon," Amy said calmly. "I'm only a few minutes too early. I guess I was just excited to be spending the morning with you." She smiled at him, but couldn't quite decipher his intense gaze at her.
She continued, "I'm sorry, but I just overheard your last sentence. What is it that I will understand?"
Sheldon's face instantly changed into panic face. "Let's talk about that later," – 'or not at all…' And he quickly stood up to put the tea mug in the sink and get his bag. "Come on, we have some shopping to do."
Amy's car outside 2311 N. Los Robles Avenue:
They went down the stairs in thoughtful silence. Amy knew it was never wise to pressure him, but she was curious about what he might have talked to Leonard, and at times like that she got the impression that he always opened up to Leonard or Penny about problems he was dealing with, but never to her. She tried to suppress it, but couldn't help to feel a bit sad about it. Wasn't their relationship based on honesty and trust?
They arrived at her car and she let him have the driver's seat like they had done all week. "So, is it later now?" Amy asked tentatively when they were both seated.
"Well, this is how the universe works, so it's always later, never the other way round," Sheldon answered evasively.
"Sheldon, will you please talk to me what's wrong? Is this about our… recent activities? Is it too much? Would you prefer to be alone?" – 'I knew it was all too good to be true… There he goes, shutting off again…' she thought, trying to keep a casual tone and not to let show her disappointment.
Sheldon was silent; his hands were gripping the steering wheel. He didn't look at her. Just as Amy thought he wouldn't respond at all, his voice came out roughly as he slowly started to speak. "Being on my own… doesn't help anymore. I can't get those… images of you out of my head. My eidetic memory is feeling like a curse lately. You… distract me, you haunt me… day and night. No, it's not too much. It's never enough! I can't get anything done anymore. I know we talked about it earlier this week, but all this banana stuff just made it worse. I'm feeling completely enslaved by my limbic system. That's not an acceptable condition. It's a wonder the rest of the human race has evolved at all!"
Then he turned his head towards her, his eyes now a fiery gaze. "You want to know what's going on in this great brain of mine?" Amy wasn't so sure anymore, but she was thrilled by his gravel voice and his darkened eyes staring at her. She didn't trust her voice right now, so she just nodded.
"Just when I saw you come in this morning, with your smile and your shiny hair… and all your fancy body parts I have memorized, now hidden underneath those layers of clothing… all I could think about was kissing you senseless… not like mommies and daddies do, but so hard you would forget who and where you were. And how I would take you right there against the door and… ravage you until you'd scream my name, over and over! Happy now of what I've become?"
Amy's breathing had become ragged as she listened to him. His words always intrigued her, but hearing him speak to her like that was so… hot. She didn't know what to say. Good thing that she was sitting, as she felt all weak and wobbly now.
He leaned over to her, and she felt his hot breath on her neck as he continued with a low voice near to her ear, "Help me Amy. Even I know that can't be normal. I'm out of control, I feel like I'm finally going mad… you've got to stop me…" and his hand came up to her knee while he nuzzled in her hair and inhaled her scent.
"Sheldon… I had no idea," Amy finally whispered.
"Amy… I mean it. You have to stop me now." But as his hand slid further up the inside of her thigh, Amy couldn't stand it anymore. She took his face in both hands and kissed him hard. He responded instantly and let his tongue roll around hers urgently. His hand had reached her tights area above her panties now, and Amy moaned into his mouth at the touch.
But wait, hadn't he asked her for help? And here she was, taking advantage of him – or the other way round, depending on the viewpoint. It felt so good, it was such a turn-on to be desired in that way… but she had to stop him, he relied on her. Reluctantly, Amy broke the kiss. They were both breathing heavily and looked at each other with dilated pupils.
When she was able to speak again, she said, "Sheldon… we can control this… Penny told me it will get easier with time; we won't feel this overwhelming urge all the time. I love you, and we're in this together. We can have it all. We can still get all the Nobel prizes we want."
"We? Does that mean you… feel the same way?" Sheldon looked at her in wonder. He knew she had these hippy dippy feelings because she was a girl, but this here… whatever that was… was much more intense.
"Oh, I've felt so overwhelmed for a long time. You think you're a control freak, but imagine the enormous amount of self-constraint I had to exercise. I'm quite a pro now," she smiled.
"So we'll go shopping now, and then… would you like to stay later? Leonard's with Penny today." He bit his lip, smiling sheepishly at her.
'Don't get your hopes up. He's still a flight risk. Staying might just mean to help him put away the groceries.' - "I'd love to. Do you want to drive now?"
"I can do it. At least then I have to concentrate on the road and not so much on all your alluring womanly parts next to me."
Stairway of 2311 N. Los Robles Avenue:
Grocery shopping had been a wild ride. They had spent an unnecessary long time in the produce department of the grocery store with Sheldon ogling the bananas and her lips. They had been there quite early, so there weren't much other people around. During an unobserved moment he had grabbed her butt and kissed her not so chastely until they had to come up for air again. Also at the checkout it had been so tempting to have her stand in front of him while they unpacked their cart, but he had restrained himself – at least from time to time he seemed to have some self-control left.
The ride back home had been a haze. He didn't feel he could concentrate on the traffic, so he had asked Amy to drive. He wanted to touch her so badly he had to clamp his hands between his knees. His eyes were glued on her legs shifting on the pedals. But he soon noticed that was a bad idea for regaining control, so he forced himself to look out of the window.
Now they were getting Sheldon's stuff back to 4A. Amy had one carryout bag and Sheldon was walking up the stairs behind her with two other bags, getting more distressed by the view in front of him.
After the second flight of stairs, he couldn't endure it anymore. "Amy. Could you stop wiggling your hips in front of me?"
"I'm not wiggling anything. I'm just walking up the stairs the same way I always do."
"Whatever it is, just stop it."
"And how do you suggest I get upstairs? Are you gonna sweep me up in your arms?" Amy joked.
"Maybe I will." There was his hoarse voice from earlier in the car again. Amy shivered when she recalled his words. Was he going to act on it? She hurried up the rest of the stairs, not sure what would await her, once inside.
Apartment 4A, 2311 N. Los Robles Avenue
After they had entered, Amy went straight to the counter and started unpacking the bag. She needed some manual work to calm down. Sheldon hadn't assaulted her yet. – 'Come on, did you really expect this?' She thought, however weirdly disappointed.
Sheldon was standing close to her and tried to keep busy with the contents of his own bags. 'The concept of coitus is ridiculous and off-putting. The concept of coitus is ridiculous and off-putting. The concept of…'
"Sheldon, where do you want me to put those fruits here?" Amy interrupted his mantra, holding up a bag of apples, kiwis and of course the bananas.
'In your mouth, preferably.' – "Uhm… let me get you a bowl."
When he got it for her from the cupboard, they both reached for the bananas at the same time. Their hands met, and Sheldon felt a bolt of lightning zip through his body. Amy must have felt it too, as her mouth opened in surprise.
"Just an electrostatic discharge, simply caused by an imbalance of the electron distribution," he said in a final attempt to calm down, but was mesmerized by the look in her eyes. He was getting better with recognizing 'Amy faces', and he was quite certain that was the look from earlier in the car before she kissed him.
That was all it took. Sheldon closed the distance to Amy, swept her up in his arms and sat her on the counter. Their lips met, not in a tender way, more hungrily, but neither of them complained. Amy got a chance to suck on his lower lip, but then his tongue entered her urgently, and his hands had already unbuttoned the first buttons of her cardigan as he stepped between her legs, and Amy held on to his arms, her skirt riding up to her thighs. Sheldon loved this angle as there was no height difference between them in this position, and he deepened the kiss even more.
Amy's cheeks were flushed, her heart pounded wildly in her chest, and she felt dizzy and lightheaded by the torrent of lovemaking Sheldon bestowed upon her. It was so exciting to be desired in such a way. She could feel his arousal pressing into her and wrapped her legs around him, never wanting to let him go. Their tongues were still dancing vigorously around each other. He had finished off her cardigan buttons, and she shrugged it off. Her arms then moved up to his head and were now grabbing his short cropped hair, holding him tightly to her.
But somewhere in the recess of her mind she remembered their talk earlier in the car about needing her to help him… and to stop him. She didn't want to, but she had to make sure they were on the same page here. Reluctantly she broke the kiss, both panting heavily and Sheldon's lips trying to capture hers again.
"Sheldon, is this really… what you want? I can't have you run away again… if you decide otherwise later… There's only so much I can take…"
Sheldon looked at her with heavy-lidded eyes. "What? Running where? Not gonna happen… I'm already crazy about you… might as well go all the way." He took a deep breath and his speech became more lucid. "My working assumption is… it might get easier to give in to those urges… not all the time of course. But suppressing them doesn't work anymore. Been there, done that… all day already…"
That was all she needed to hear, and she pulled him back into her and proceeded to kiss him senseless.
Sheldon started to rub against her again, and Amy moaned at the torturous friction of him pushing into her center. His hands were now working on the buttons of her blouse while his mouth trailed down to her neck where he had started to expose her skin. He smiled in delight when he realized there weren't any additional layers underneath it this time. She even wore a bra that unclasped at the front! His smile then changed into a moan, because Amy's mouth had found his earlobe and was sucking eagerly on it.
He didn't bother to take her clothes off anymore, he just went directly for the bra and then took her nipple in his mouth, swirled his tongue around and sucked on it lightly. All the time he cupped her breasts in his hands and while he kissed one, he moved his thumb over the other one, fascinated how it hardened at his touch. 'Now that's something pleasant to suck on,' he thought as his mouth moved on to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment.
The throbbing in Amy's center had become nearly unbearable. This was it. She needed to have him now. Her fingers fumbled frantically with the button and the zipper of his trousers, and then she had finally freed him. He groaned as she gave him one slow stroke.
Amy moved even nearer to him to the rim of the counter, put her arms behind her to hold her weight and pushed up her bottom. He got the hint and his hands moved beneath her skirt and yanked her tights and panties down together. She looked so gorgeous just sitting on her skirt that had ridden up all the way revealing her thighs.
Then she heard his hoarse voice next to her ear. "Amy… This is the last… remnant… of control… I might have left. … Do you wish… to continue?" – 'No, don't stop me now, don't stop me now, don't stop me now…'
"You are crazy indeed… if you think… I would want to stop… at this point!"
And she wrapped her hand around him and guided him inside. With one long stroke he buried himself deep inside her. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt, it was just an odd sensation at first. Then her walls clenched him tightly, and she pulled him into her for another deep kiss.
Sheldon was in trouble now. He was completely overwhelmed by the sensation. It was all so hot and tight and wet, and he could feel her pulsing around him, too many impressions at the same time, too much tension built up… He hadn't even started to move as he completely lost it. "Oh dear lord, oh no, Amyyy…" he groaned as he emptied inside her.
He was so embarrassed, he just wanted to hide and never look her in the eyes again. "That's not how it's supposed to be! I can do better than this, I promise. I'll prove it to you. Just need some time now…"
But she tightly held him in her embrace and then turned his chin up to have him look at her. "Shh, it's okay. You worry too much. Just stay with me and hold me."
She was so calm and understanding. 'How could she be when I've just made such a fool of myself?' And then she kissed him, sweet and tenderly, and he melted in her touch and started to kiss her back. He was still inside her and she had her legs wrapped around him firmly. 'I can't let him go now. Who knows what he will do if he thinks he might be a failure. I need to convince him…'
Amy's hands had trailed up beneath his shirts, caressing his back. 'Look at us, I can't believe he's still got all his shirts on after all that just happened…' His arms that had hung limply by his sides started to move again on their own accord and advanced towards her hips.
Amy softly nipped at his lower lip, and he granted her entrance. They didn't kiss as urgently as they had before, but took their time now. Their tongues lapped languidly against each other, but somehow this seemed even more erotically as before.
Suddenly, Sheldon felt himself twitching deep down, and Amy had noticed it too. She clamped her walls around him in response, and he felt himself slowly growing inside her. Tentatively, he made a small move. That felt so good! But he needed to take care of Amy now first. He started to cup her breasts, they felt so soft and warm in his hands, and then his thumbs drove lazy circles around her nipples again. Amy moaned at his touch and arched her back towards him.
They found a steady rhythm now, their tongues moving synchronically with their hips. But soon he felt the tension build up again, and he moved his hand down to caress her where they were joined. He made the same movements she had shown him she liked last time, and soon he had her writhing and undulating before him, and their movements became more erratic. They had to come up for air and broke the kiss.
He had to warn her this time. "Amy. I am so close… again… right now…"
"Me too… just keep going… oh so good…"
And then his mouth descended on her neck, sucking on the vein pulsing there, and his fingers pressed down on her hard, while he kept pumping into her. And that finally got him to hear her call his name, "Sheeeldon… oh yes… that's it…. hoo boy!"
As she convulsed around him, he followed her, his face still buried in her neck. "So good, oh yeah, Amyyy…"
They clung to each other until the trembling subsided. He finally slipped out of her and clumsily got his pants back on. Amy smiled at him and re-buttoned her blouse. "Sheldon… that was so wonderful. You are amazing!"
"But…"
She cut him off. "Don't you dare think otherwise! It was perfect."
A lopsided grin started to spread across his face. "Got it. I'm amazing. Of course you're right."
'There's his ego back again, everything's alright,' Amy thought happily. "So… I assume we can cuddle now?" She asked him, hoping to establish a new routine – after all, they had already set a precedence for it last time.
Sheldon wasn't really compelled by the idea of cuddling anymore, but he would not need to have her know that. This way, he could still try to bargain something out of it. But something else was more urgent now. "I need to shower first. Boy, that were a lot of body fluids! And then we could do that… if I can choose a movie to watch…"
"I guess that's a fair proposal. But next time, it will be my choice."
"Mh-hm," Sheldon murmured as he kissed her tenderly – after all, that's what they had just done after the first time, so he was just following protocol here.
Amy had prepared tea in the meantime. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him when he came back in fresh clothes, his hair still damp from the shower. 'Too bad he's fully clothed again… but I'd love to run my hands through his hair again…' But she had to clean herself up in the bath and only shortly stopped when she went past him to inhale his scent of talcum. When she came back, he had inserted the Firefly pilot into the DVD player and was waiting for her.
"You'll love this, it's science fiction mixed with cowboy elements just like your Little House series. I will not promise too much if I tell you you're gonna have your world rocked on my couch!" He told her excitedly.
"Oh well, yes, we did that already…" Amy answered and happily snuggled into his arms.
After having cuddled through the pilot, Amy finally started to get up. "Well, that wasn't too bad, actually. I'd even say that I would not object to no longer characterizing this show as not being worthwhile to watch. But I guess I ought to be going now."
Sheldon suddenly grabbed her hand. "Amy. Stay with me tonight." Despite his bold proposal he looked so vulnerable as he tried to hold her gaze and bit his lip nervously.
Amy's mouth opened in surprise. This was one sentence she surely hadn't expected from Sheldon. But on the other hand, just a week ago she would have laughed at anyone with the slightest suggestion of what had happened today – or during the last days already. "Sheldon. I must say… I'm intrigued. But… I've got to get my groceries back home. And you have laundry night. And frankly… are you just asking me because Leonard's not here and you don't want to be alone?"
"If that were the case, I would have found ways to make him stay. No… I've been meaning to ask you for some time now. But I've been scared. I'm not anymore."
"Oh, Sheldon… I feel honored. Hoo yes, I would love to spend the night with you."