How do you know when you're dreaming and when you're awake?

How can you really know which is which?

Does pinching really work?

There were days when I would wake up,

Go to school,

Come home,

Do homework,

Spend time with my friends…

And then wake up again to realize I was dreaming and I'm late for school.

That right there is one of the greatest cruelties ever invented.

Who invented those kinds of dreams anyway?

Those dreams seem so real.

But then, all dreams always seem so real.

Until you wake up of course.

But what happens when you wake up, and find that you don't know whether you're dreaming or sleeping? What then do you do?

My eyes flickered open, and the only thing I could see through my half-open eyelids was light. It was so bright that I could hardly see. But when I opened my eyes further, the light diminished, fading into the background with the ceiling. My mind did a reality check, and I wondered if I was finally waking up in bed. Had the whole day been a dream? One of those that seem like real days? Was I late to school?

I flipped over onto my side to glance at my alarm clock, and blinked in surprise when I couldn't find it. All I could see was the edge of the bed. But…it wasn't MY bed!

I must confess I was freaked out. I was waking up in a bright room on a bed that wasn't my own. In a room that wasn't my own. And here…here I thought I was…

"Dead…" I whispered, the word hanging heavy in the air. It was the only sound, and it was so loud it made my ears hurt. All I could hear was my heart beating. "But…" I stood up and looked around.

The bed was huge. And white. And flat. Like a futon, only mounted on a bed frame of silver. There were windows surrounding my room on every wall but one, and all of them were open. The silken curtains were airy and light, and floated on the gust of wind as if they were as light as spider webbing, or something lighter. They were crimson. The floor was marble, and so were the walls. White marble with silver and crimson. And besides the bed there was no other furniture. Only windows leading out to a balcony, and a door on the wall with no windows. The room was shaped not with four walls, but with six.

And I felt completely alone.

The first question that came to my mind was "What the heck is going on here?"

The second was "Did my dream really happen? And am I….in heaven?"

Both I asked out loud, one after the other. And I waited for an answer, hoping for someone to come and explain all this weirdness, but instead the only thing I could hear were my own words echoing off the marble walls.

I shivered. "Okay this is giving me the creeps. I think I'm going to take a look around." I turned toward the door, and reached out to take the handle in my hand. And then another question entered my head. Was I dressed? I quickly glanced at myself, and breathed a sigh in relief. Yes, I was. Except…

"What the heck am I wearing?" I demanded, glancing at myself in surprise. Deep red pants that were soft and billowy were on my legs. I felt like I could run, jump, do anything in them! My legs felt so free and comfortable and warm that I forgot that these pants weren't something I'd normally have as my wardrobe. My upper body was covered in a sleeveless shirt that fit just as comfortably as my pants. It was white, with red lining. There were comfortable but sturdy boots on my feet, which were white and red with silver soles, and something like a white cloth wrapped with silver and red cord around my upper arms as some kind of style or decoration. All in all, the look was like that out of a fantasy or Medieval time movie.

"Okay weird," I decided, but it was better than nothing. And frankly, I felt comfortable wearing it. "Now for a little exploring…" I opened the door and stepped out into a large hallway. There were thousands of doors on either side, and I stood breathlessly on the marble floor, staring. Which one should I open first? I started walking down the hall, looking side to side. The marble was just like that in the room I had woken up in, except that it varied in color and shade every once in a while. It was mostly gray and white, but occasionally a color would ripple through it. I got the feeling as I walked that I was in a huge mansion, a house so big I probably couldn't count all the rooms! And then I came to the stairs.

Stairs that led up, and stairs that led down. I decided to take the ones that led down. Looking out the window had told me I was not at ground level, and probably I would find what I was looking for down there. I wasn't sure what I was looking for. I was just looking for something. Perhaps an answer to my question.

I was impressed with the size of everything around me. Chandeliers on the ceiling, rugs on the marble floor, windows, doors….everything was immense, with intricate and delicate designs. All of them were beautiful, and there was nothing that I didn't like. Even though the house was completely empty, I did not feel afraid. It wasn't a haunted house or anything. It wasn't creepy, it was beautiful. And it smelled like fresh air. And maybe it was just me, but there was something welcoming about it. It was almost like I was meant to be there. It was like waking up in my own house.

It felt like home.

That was what scared me. I found myself hurrying down the stairs, running at a speed I never though was possible. I leapt the last few stairs and landed on the ground level, glancing around me. It seemed no different here than it did anywhere else in the house. I was in yet another hall way, with doors on every side.

I glared at the emptiness in frustration. "Where is everybody?" I shouted, my voice echoing and rebounding off the marble walls. I waited for an answer for what seemed like forever, and finally, someone did.

"Who's shouting?" someone asked.

"Me!" I answered curtly. I felt bad for snapping, but I was a little annoyed at being left in the dark. "Where are you?"

"Here," the person answered, stepping around the corner of the hallway and walking towards me. She was familiar to me, and I recognized her as one of the fairy-like creatures that were in my dream…the ones who were arguing over me…

"You!" I gasped, staring at her. She was the fiery one, with the short, messy hair.

She smiled at me. "I have a name," she said gently. "I wouldn't mind if you used it." She curtsied to me. "I am Samas, one of the many who live in this house. And what is your name?"

I bowed, thinking it probably polite. "I am honored to meet you Samasu," I said, pronouncing her name wrong with my Japanese accent. I noticed the spark of amusement and annoyance in her eyes as I said it. "I am…" I grasped for the word that I knew was my name, and couldn't find it. I stared at her in shock. "I…don't remember!" I blurted. "Why can't I remember my name?"

She sighed. "Because you died. Many things were lost to you."

"What do you mean I DIED! If I died then I wouldn't be here now would I?" I demanded, glaring at her. "Please, tell me what's going on here!"

Samas sighed and nodded. "Of course you have many questions," she said, taking my hand and leading me down the hall. "But I alone cannot answer them. We must find Venera. She and I both must answer your questions."

"Venera?"

"She is the other fairy you met last month."

"LAST MONTH?" I stopped still. "Last MONTH?"

"Yes," she answered, wondering at my surprise. "Of course. After a change like that it takes much to recover. And even now you haven't recovered everything."

I stepped backwards away from her, a sinking feeling filling my gut. "What do you mean? How have I changed? Tell me what's going on here!"

The second girl—Venera—walked up, wearing the same serious expression on her face that I remembered seeing before. "You died, as a human," she said simply, her eyes boring into mine with an unblinking stare. "And if not for falling into our realm, you would have stayed dead."

"You're not making sense," I pleaded. "Speak in words I can understand!"

Samas' expression was that of pity. "We managed to save you by turning you into one of us," she said. "And we did it just in time. You are alive…but you are no longer human, nor of that world. This is your home now."

I stepped away from them, shaking my head. "No, you're joking. This is just a dream, isn't it? I'm going to wake up in my bed, and none of this happened." I blurted the words angrily, longing for them to be true, but I was denying what I already knew.

They were telling the truth.

"Takato," Venera said solemnly, revealing the name that I had forgotton, "you are a fairy."

I stared at the two of them in horror, and ran away. I didn't care where I was going, I just wanted out of this house.

They were lying. This was a dream. Somebody help me!

I ran out the door and found myself in a whole different world. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Gardens and streams surrounded me, and the walls of Mt. Fuji surrounded the hidden valley and protected it from outside eyes. It was beautiful, but I didn't care. I wanted to go home.

I ran toward the wall where I knew I had fallen from, and without even thinking, threw myself upon it and started climbing. It was like I had wings I sped up the wall so fast. Climbing, climbing….the cliff went on forever.

I glanced through the trees that I had fallen through, surprised that I had survived the damage. There was no possible way I could have survived unless…

"No!" I cried, unaware of the tears that streamed down my cheeks. "It's not true! I wont believe it!" My hands and feet brought me quickly out of the trees, and back to the cliff that I had fallen down. And then, throwing myself up, I reached the top.

The road stretched before me, to the right and to the left, and I could see no one on it. It was deserted.

My eyes dripped tears like over-flowing rain clouds, and I stared helplessly at nothing. I wanted someone to come, someone to see me and tell me I was going to be okay. But all I got was the wind on my face.

"It's not fair!" I cried, slipping to my knees. "Why did this happen? Why does it have to be true? Why can't it just be a dream?"

"Because you made a choice."

I gasped, startled, and looked up. They were both there, Samas and Venera. Samas looked pitying. Venera looked serious. "If I had known, then…"

Venera interrupted me. "If you had known than you would have made the same choice," she stated, somewhat harshly. "You chose to live, and the magic of our kind saved you. You can either stand up like a man and take it, or go run back to your room and cry. Either way, you're stuck with it." She frowned at me, but there was kindness in her eyes. I turned away from her, feeling sorry for myself.

Samas walked towards me, and placed a warm hand on my shoulder. "Life is hope," she said softly. "And you have been given a second chance. Why not take this change in victory instead of defeat? Change is a part of life. You need to learn to deal with it sooner or later."

I sighed, staring at the road in self pity. But their words reached my heart. "You're right," I mumbled angrily. It wasn't them that angered me. It was myself. "I should know all about it. I should know how to accept difficulty and keep fighting. I've done it a millions times before. So why am I acting like a wimp now?"

Samas smiled at me sneakily. "Could it be," she asked, "that you are in love?"

I stared at her silently, and let her words sink in. Another tear slipped down my cheek. "Maybe…" I admitted. "Why?"

Venera's mouth turned up in the closest thing I'd seen as a smile on her face. "It makes it harder for you to accept that you're no longer part of that world, that's all," she teased. "But there are ways to get around that."

"Ways?" My curiosity was now stirred.

She smirked. "But you're going to have to figure that one out yourself."

I stared at my hand, thoughtful, and then looked up again. The two of them were gone. But their words were still in my mind. "I am acting like a wimp," I sighed. "I just don't want this to be real. I just want everything to go back to normal. But I guess it can't. Nothing can ever be the same again." I stared at the road, and blinked in surprise.

A car was driving my way.

But the thing that excited and scared me the most was that I recognized the car. I had seen it somewhere before! I should have known it like my own name! Except….I wasn't even sure of that any more. Venera had mentioned it, but already I had forgotton. All I could think about was the car.

It was headed straight for me.

I stood in the middle of the road, waiting. I needed to talk to whoever it was driving the car. Perhaps then, I could find out what it is I lost in my fall, and who it is that I am now. Until I can answer those questions…

I am lost.

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