A/N: A quick disclaimer for the quote in this chapter. It's from Poe's "The Pit and the Pendulum." Enjoy ;)
Chapter 4: "Fourth Death"
We had a meltdown.
Plan D
We've calmed down…agains. We gets carried away with these things. Main points, though: falling plan=bad. We don't like it and it's going away, all the ways to Timbuktu. That's where it belongs and that's where it stays until Smeagol says so.
New plan will be…Poe.
Edgar Allan Poe. He's really the masterminds behind perfect deaths (the gruesome ones). We'll take a leaf, just one, out of his book and put it to real use. Just a small one that would give us the proper satisfactions we wanted.
The Pit and the Pendulum!
Eureka!
Yessssss! It's one of his besteses! We enjoyed the twist and turns of the pendulum as it slowly…slowly…killed the man.
Yesss…this is the one. Perhaps. We're going to gives more thought to its, but for now…we likes it. Loads.
Oh! The plan!
Blood! Splatter! Splashes everywhere and Smeagol…well, Smeagol will only end up touching the rope that sets off the giant metallic death monster.
It's brilliant! Even more genius than before!
So, we'll just nab him. That has the chances of working. Like with our pumpkin patch plan. Instead, we'll get him on a regular day. He walks home (alone) every nights. Walks Master to the doors then walks on. Away. That's the best time of the day. When it's just us and Master. We have drinken teas together and laughed over eggses (mostly us since Master doesn't like eggses as much as us). Those were the best of times.
And with the fat hobbit…the worst. Absolute.
Ahhhhhh! We sidetracked our minds again! Nooooo!
Let's continue with our plan instead, how 'bout?
Yesss. The plan.
Smeagol will grab the fat hobbit. We'll tell Master we want to go fishing (and we will) and walk out for an itsy bitsy. We'll come back laters with some fishes to cover up our alibi. Make our story plausible, you know?
But back to the actual plot (the diabolical one). We'll put a black sack over his fat head…similar to the one that cruel man used against us! Ohhhhh…ughhhhhhh. We hates him. So muches. We don't know who we hate more. It's between that cruel man (the captain one), the dumb white wizard, and the stupid fat hobbit. Difficult. Difficult for us. We don't know. It's too conflicting of feelings for us to decide. Maybe laters. Yess. Perhaps then.
We'll grab and gag him then drag him away.
We're strong so it won't be difficult. Easy peasy.
…one two threesie (Hahaha).
Hm…he could struggle. Yes, precious, he could. He could struggle. We'll just knock him out, how 'bout? That'll be easier than dragging him away. Just get one of the rockses from the grounds and boom! Out!
Joy!
Next step is to drag the fat hobbits away. Through the woods and under the bridges. We'll pay the troll (get it?) so we can get across. After miles of this stretch through the wilds of the Shires and the water of the Shires…we'll be far enough away to escape any suspicions. No one will find him (smell or sound or sight). We're in the clear. There…we will have a cave. Simple caves, but still perfect uses for our plan. This is great.
Next! A long table will be in the middle of the caves (wood perhaps) and we'll strap him down. With chains. No one can get out of those. Never unless they have razor sharp teeth. Like shark teeth. Ewww. Who would have that in their mouths? Not normal…then again…neither are WE! (Hahaha)
We'll spread him out with the chains wrapped tightest tights around his arms, legs and fat middle. Can't have him squirming.
Then…from above…the penultimate pendulum! Yesss! Yessssssssss!
We'll take off the blindfold then and wait.
When he wakes up we'll let it go. Then we'll just watch, we think. Sounds best to us.
"The agony of my soul found vent in one loud, long and final scream of despair."
-Edgar Allan Poe
That's what we want. That's what we want to hear. The agony…as he dies. Slow and painful.
Perfect…
He'll die for sure this time. There's no way out. No…not for him. He's…done.