- - - — — — Five Months Ago - Three Days After Samhain — — — - - -

"Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh?" Lotte blinked, lifting her gaze and meeting Akko's.

Akko tinged, her eyes wide. "Okay so wait, back up; this werewolf guy; Arthur, right?"

Lotte arched an eyebrow, somewhat confused at Akko's reaction. "Yeah?" she prodded, gently swinging her legs over the edge of Akko's bottom bunk, where they both sat.

"So, you're saying this guy has a crush on that vampire guy, Edgar...?" Lotte nodded, "...because he's been breaking vampire traditions just to get a rise out of him?"

Lotte clasped her hands together, her eyes sparkling. "Yes! Arthur loves it whenever he can make Edgar lose his cool! On book 207, when him and Belle were taking care of Edgar's wounds after the third battle of the War of the Lilies, he confided in Belle that he felt a sort of privilege in being the only one able to bring out such interesting faces and reactions from Edgar."

Akko blushed. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh?"

Akko grabbed her pillow, hugging it to herself. "Um, is that the only reason you say he lo–likes Edgar?"

Sucy rolled her eyes with a sigh; "Oh boy…" she offered from where she stood, hunched over her current experiment as she slowly stirred a flask.

Lotte took in a lungful of air as she brought her legs up to the bed, turning to face Akko fully. "Oh my gosh, where should I start?!" she asked, balling her fists as a fiery aura erupted around her, making Akko lean back a bit away from its intensity. "There's been so many hints throughout the series! You see, in the first fifty books or so, they had slowly been set up as romantic rivals fighting over Belle's love—that is, until book fifty-three!"

Lotte smiled widely at Akko, her eyes hidden by the sudden flash of light reflected from her glasses as she continued; "Belle got near-fatally stung by a Giant Space Tarantula Hawk while protecting Arthur! The only way to nullify the venom was to harvest the eggs of the Giant Space Tarantula Hawk that were incubating inside the Giant Space Goliath Pterodactyl-eater, you see."

"...So, it's both a Giant and a Goliath...?" muttered Sucy, unable to concentrate on her latest batch of high-yield liquid flaying agent with all the excited chatter going on; she shrugged, placing the vial in an open space in their spice rack.

Lotte raised her index finger, as if giving Akko an important lesson; "Here's the thing: Arthur had apparently 'won' their rivalry when Belle chose to protect him instead of Edgar. However, when Arthur set off to brave the deadly perils of the Pterodactyl-eaters' main hive in the mountains of Wyoming, Edgar came along and fought just as hard alongside him! Arthur developed a real admiration for Edgar after that, seeing him in a new light. Their dynamic shifted; Arthur's always been out to prove that werewolves are not the lessers of vampires but, oftentimes, Arthur was now seeking Edgar's approval specifically or fought much more fiercely if he knew Edgar was watching him!"

Akko's blush reached her ears. "Oh no," she whispered, reaching out to the Shiny Rod and hugging it to herself over her pillow.

Lotte bounced lightly but excitedly on the mattress, pressing her hands to her cheeks. "Oh yes; it was so cute! Arthur would bring up Edgar all the time, even when he wasn't around, and all his 'complaints' were about how perfect he was at everything, or how effortlessly handsome he was, or how big his—er, um, hands were!" Lotte turned her face away, adjusting her glasses as her own blush spread across her cheeks.

Akko flopped back onto her bed, covering her face with her pillow. "It can't be!"

Lotte pouted at Akko's reaction, her shoulders sagging a bit. "Well, there's always naysayers for every couple in the series, but I really believe the writers—"

"—Ahh, no, no! I believe you, Lotte!" Akko said, sitting back up and waving her hands. "That's kinda the problem, I think you're right about me...eeeaaarthur! Mearthur! A-Arthur and Edgar, I mean!"

"Mearthur," Sucy took a seat by their desk, placing her elbow on it and resting her chin on her hand. "Nice save, Akko," she added, a tiny smirk playing at her lips. "Real subtle."

"What?" Lotte blinked at Sucy in confusion, her head turning back and fro between her two friends.

Akko startled giggling nervously, bringing her hand to the back of her head as she hopped from the bed, quickly shuffling her way to the door. "So hey I'm feeling super hungry so you guys must be hungry too so I should get us a midnight snack; right guys? Right!" she agreed with herself, opening the door and stepping out in one fluid motion before anyone could say anything.

Lotte stared at the closed door. "Huh?" She turned back to Sucy. "Do you know—"

"—So... Edgar's big hands, huh?"

Akko heard a muted squeal come through her room's door, but she paid it no mind as she began pacing away from the dormitories and down the moonlit halls of Luna Nova. She shivered lightly; it was November already and—according to Finneran—heating costs magic they couldn't spare. Also, "the cold builds character," apparently; Akko wasn't sure she believed that.

Akko sighed as she turned a corner, her bare feet soundlessly carrying her to the dining hall even as her mind carried her deeper into a spiral of frantic rumination. The conversation with Lotte had begun so innocently, too: Akko, still riding the emotional high of their Samhain performance just a few days ago, had started talking about how she'd surpass her rival the following year. That had gotten Lotte started on what she claimed to be one of the world's most long-standing rivalries: that of Edgar and Arthur. According to her, thanks to the Time Stones, Blue Spheres, and the Multiverse Theory, they'd been rivals since the Paleozoic Era.

Akko's brain hurt trying to make sense of it.

Nevertheless, Akko had found herself relating to Lotte's story; Arthur was a mutt even to his own kind and out to change the world, whereas his rival Edgar was a proud, esteemed member of an ancient family of vampires. The parallels were easy to draw the more Lotte went on, and Akko was fully on board right up until the subject of Arthur's obvious crush came up, and with it, a bit of forced self-reflection when Akko couldn't turn off the mental picture she'd already drawn of Werewolf Akko and Vampire Diana at the start of their conversation.

For Akko, it was the many pieces of a puzzle falling into place even though she hadn't been assembling one; the answer to a question she never thought to ask. Truthfully, it was a little bit embarrassing how much everything suddenly started making sense; of course, perhaps not nearly as embarrassing as falling for one's rival! Diana, of all people! Who could be dumb enough to fall for such a high-and-mighty elitist, anyways?

...It was then that Akko decided to stop asking herself rhetorical questions.

Akko continued her trek across the halls of the academy, reaching and stepping down a staircase at a more sedate pace than her usual as she tried to make sense of this emerging Diana Situation. Looking back, there had been a number of clues that, in hindsight, pointed with big neon arrows and runway landing lights towards her crush. In fact, Akko had been quite aware of all these hints beforehand; she'd just taken them each at face value, never having had any reason to think that they all formed a bigger picture.

She had to chuckle at herself; 'It kinda sounds like an Ursula-sensei lesson.' Sure, now it felt obvious but, each clue taken separately, how could Akko have known? There was nothing strange about wanting to surpass the most celebrated student in Luna Nova's history! Having spent just half a day in Diana's body had only further confirmed that the blonde was the girl to beat: Diana—for all her snobbiness, conceitedness, and holier-than-thou attitude—worked harder than any student at the Academy, and probably harder than a good deal of the faculty. 'If only she weren't so smug about how much better she is than me…'

More importantly, despite her arrogance, Diana wanted to find a way to fill the world with magic just like Akko did; rivals always competed towards the same goals, didn't they? The night of the Samhain Festival, Akko had seen and felt it: Diana's eyes on her all throughout Vajarois's liberation, just like she had requested.

Diana's stare had been intense and unblinking, and Akko had felt equally flustered and emboldened by it. The crowd's energy as they began to enjoy Red Team's act was an entirely new feeling for Akko, but Diana's unwavering eyes somehow amplified the thrill of it that much more. Even as Diana was crowned the Moonlit Witch, Akko found the blonde's inscrutable gaze constantly on her. Armed with a little more self-awareness, Akko might've wondered why she felt the need to have her eyes on the blonde all the time.

Well, besides the obvious.

Of course Diana was attractive; blindingly so. Akko had eyes and a pulse, after all. How could such a thought ever raise any flags when it was such an openly-discussed topic at the Academy? Diana could be quietly reading in the corner of a room and still command the attention of everyone present. How could Diana be so distracting by just... sitting there? 'Totally unfair,' Akko mused as she made it to the dining hall; after a cursory glance to check for any staff, she made her way across by sticking close to the walls and staying in the shadows.

Even less of an issue was the fact that Diana was a girl; Akko could barely count it as a clue by now. Finding a girl attractive had stopped being new and frightening to Akko some years ago thanks to the multicultural exposure and mostly-wholesale acceptance from her peers in her AP English classes. Of course, another round of thanks were owed in no small part to the ridiculous ball of concentrated, blistering hotness that was Shiny Chariot.

Akko couldn't even feel at all guilty about all her Shiny Chariot doujin and that one folder deep within her computer because, well... Wow. If the Chariot poster above her bunk could talk, she'd probably have to burn it and scatter the ashes to the four corners of the world; that thing had seen entirely too much back home.

Akko reached the counters at the back of the hall, running her gaze along their length until she spotted her target: a number of utensils hanging from hooks behind the serving stations. She grabbed one of the soup ladles, unscrewing its wand handle and extending the casting tip. She smiled as she easily gained access to the kitchen; learning Amanda's lockpicking spell had definitely been a much better use of her time and energy than any of those table manner spells Finneran kept drilling her on. Once inside, Akko had no trouble navigating blind; she knew the route to the pantry by heart, so she didn't bother with a light spell as she expertly tip-toed around the total darkness of the kitchen.

As she reached the food stores, Akko's hand rested on the pantry's door handle as she let her mind wander to one of the most damning pieces of the puzzle: the dreams. Akko was a vivid dreamer; many of her awesome ideas and clever schemes originated—and were extensively tested with 100% positive results—in her sleep. The dreams were numerous and diverse and Akko could recall most of them with great clarity but, while the subject matter varied, Akko had to admit that there were some recurring themes that she maybe could've paid more attention to.

'Dreams are dreams,' she'd told herself a number of times; they could mean anything! Dreams about Chariot's show, dreams about putting on her own show, dreams about great magical adventures, dreams about school and dreams about her friends and the many students she'd come to know in just a few months… And, well, friendlier-than-usual dreams, too. Akko reddened a bit as she looked over her shoulder, suddenly feeling just a teensy bit guilty even though she knew she was alone and no one could read her mind. Well, maybe. Really, kissing pretty girls in dreams was not a crime, even if Sucy liked to act like it was whenever she somehow knew what Akko had been dreaming about every other morning!

Akko couldn't stop the sudden giggling that overtook her; she really had it bad, didn't she? Despite how troublesome it was, she couldn't help but feel just a teensy bit of giddiness about it all. Here she was, in a school full of cute students, and thinking of pretty girls immediately caused her mind conjure up images of Diana and Diana only. Seriously, she could almost picture the blond girl right beside her—

"—Honestly, if you're actually attempting to avoid capture every time you do this," Diana's voice in the pitch darkness nearly made Akko's heart explode, "then you should, at the very least, pick different hours of the night to raid the—" Diana's eyes widened as she ignited her wand to light the room before catching sight of Akko. "A-Akko! You are indecent!" she whispered loudly, her face burning red. Akko's face burned just as bright as she pulled her night shirt down to cover her tiny boy shorts.

Well, at least she had worn her cute undies to bed.

Hey guys, Grave here with the first part of our flashback interlude! This chapter's a little late despite the fact that it's been almost ready since the day after I posted chapter three! Certain factors have conspired to slow down the witchiness of it all: First, I had to trim down the interlude into different parts since the Akko-Realizes-She's-In-Lesbians-With-Her-Rival part of the flashback differed in pace and detail compared to the next part of the interlude (the one where others find out!).

Secondly, Hurricane Irma. I live in Puerto Rico, which was affected by the storm as it passed along the north after causing disaster in the Lesser Antilles and on its way to Cuba and Florida. I have been without electricity at my home for many days now, and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight to this situation, since the infrastructure here was already falling apart before the hurricane skirted us. I'm actually tethering my phone right now to get some internet for my laptop so I can actually post this!

I've also established the timeline more explicitly here; this fic takes place after the end of the series but before the epilogue (hence why Diana's worried that Akko can't fly a broom yet), and in this interlude we've jumped back to the time in between episodes 13 and 14.

Also, I want to give special mention to a very cool surprise: someone actually drew art related to this fic! That is awesome. Kirbuu, a reader on AO3, mentioned my fic to tumblr artist pudgeruffian [NSFW art in their blog], and they proceeded to draw a [SFW] flustered Diana being very, very concerned about Akko's skirt and nothing more, I'm sure. You can find it at [ pudgeruffian-dot-tumblr-dot-com/post/165111698600/this-story-is-adorable-and-potentially-lewd ]. Thanks, guys!

And now, for the customary review replies:

Guest: The wait is over!

Loli Hitler: And in this game, it could've been quite literal had Akko transformed into a mouse!

SupeR: I would really love to know what's Nelson's story, I feel like she might've been a hellion like Akko when she was a student, too!

Scarlet of the Sea: Darn right Diana's gonna go catch her! When does a Cavendish do anything half-way?

Tamaki: Her gayness is blinding her to how gay she is, the poor thing.

8ytan: After episode 3, there was no doubt in my mind that Akko was low-key an athletic dynamo and she has no idea how her feats look to mere mortals. This'll come into play soon, don't worry.

Mazamba: Chariot's ideas were never as perfect as she thought they were in her head...

Gontan: And even worse for Diana, Amanda realized this months ago.

aaameidas: It's kinda funny that I thought even for a second that this would be a one-shot.

Psykoakuma: And the chorus of Lakmé's Flower Duet for when Akko jumps out the window!

Laulink: Haha, thank you! And Diana's thirst is the stuff you write epic poetry about!

Shinobukun: Thank you, keeping going is the plan, even through Hurricane Irma!

Syaoran Li Clow: Good thing witches live so long, cause Diana's gonna need every little bit of it to live past twenty.

Bingobongo: And thank you for your beautiful words! I hope you keep enjoying reading it as I am enjoying writing it.

James Birdsong: Thank you!

UruruSan: Continuing!

electricangel12: I've definitely been forced to take my time, but the weather will never hold me down!

Queen Sydon: Don't you just love how adorably smug Akko gets despite the fact that nothing ever turns out how she planned? And yes, Amanda's been so much fun to use as an antagonist; poor Diana's gonna go crazy soon, beset on all sides as she is!