I'M BACK? I last even WORKED on this fic when I was 12 and now I'm almost 16 and posting the next chapter lol. I was over this and suddenly had an overwhelming need to work on it and continue it so! Here it is! Sorry for abandoning it for so long.

My writing style has understandably changed a LOT and I apologize for any sudden shift in the tone for people reading for the first time. It's kinda short considering how long it's been so I'm sorry about that.

This chapter was betad by k8lyn and Crystalklk! I love both of them so much.

Sasuke sat down gracefully on the floor in front of the table in Karin's home. Karin sat down a little less elegantly, her eyes shifting to the side whenever Sasuke tried to make eye contact. Sasuke noticed that she wasn't very good at hiding her fear. Fleetingly, Sasuke thought that none of the Uzumakis he'd known had ever been good at hiding their emotions, but that thought made him think of wild blond hair and fierce blue eyes, so he pushed it away.

The two teens sat together in an awkward silence. Karin kept looking like she was about to say something, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she closed it again. Sasuke didn't speak for fear that, if he did, Karin wouldn't say whatever seemed to be on the tip of her tongue. But after several minutes of sitting in silence it became too much for Sasuke to bear. He didn't have all day to stay here.

"Did you know that he was going to do it?" Sasuke inquired quietly.

Karin's head snapped up from where she had been examining the table as if it was the most interesting thing in the world at the first words that have been shared since Sasuke had entered the house. She stared at him dumbly, her eyes wide. Sasuke sighed internally before reiterating, "Did you know Naruto was going to leave the village?" He bit out, his eyes narrowing threateningly. (She'd better not have because if she did that means he didn't tell me andwhywouldn'thetellme?) Karin looked at him for a moment, before swiping off her glasses and cleaning the already pristine lenses with her shirt. She opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. She put her glasses back on her nose and bit her lip.

"I…" She began carefully, looking up into Sasuke's eyes quickly before looking away again.

"Yes." She said as she stared at the floor. "But, Sasuke I didn't-"

"And you didn't think to tell anybody?" Sasuke said, voice laced with venom. (He told her he told her he told her and not me! Of course he did. They're blood you idiot. But he should've-)

"You didn't think to tell me?" He said, his voice rising in volume. "If I had known before I - we - could've-"

"I don't think you could've stopped him Sasuke." Karin said lowly. "He was…" She trailed off, eyes looking a little far away. "He was furious." Karin said, not even looking at Sasuke completely. Sasuke couldn't imagine Naruto ferocious and purposefully violent.

"Tell me how you found out." Karin's eyes snapped back to Sasuke's. "He must've had at least some idea of where he was going. He's stupid, but he's not stupid enough to just run away to nowhere." Sasuke said. "Did he tell you why he left?"

Karin grabbed a bit of her hair and started tugging on it, avoiding eye contact. "Well…" She took a deep breath and seemed to solid her resolve. "I was sleeping one night when he came in. He shook me awake. I asked him what he was doing in my house in the middle of the night and he told me he needed my help. And I thought it was with something simple, like a mission he was going on or something, but when I asked him what he needed help with, he said he was going to leave the village." Sasuke opened his mouth to bite out something about why she hadn't told anybody, but Karin quickly put her hand up, signalling him not to speak. "Let me fucking finish before you go around jumping to conclusions!" She said, a bit of her usual aggressiveness showing through. Sasuke snapped his jaw shut, but he wasn't happy about it.

"Anyways," Karin continued. "I asked him why in the hell he would want to do that. I mean, people all over the world are after jinchuriki, and he's got the most powerful one sealed in him. The village is protecting him, y'know? So I told him that stuff, and when I said the bit about the village protecting him he yelled at me this whole thing about how that wasn't true. But he refused to tell me why that was apparently such a lie," Karin frowned, and her eyebrows scrunched up as she continued. "And so then he asked me again if I would help him and I said no. I wasn't going to help him make a stupid mistake."

Karin sighed. "Now, before you ask me why I didn't tell Tsunade or you —like you could talk him out of it— I didn't tell anybody because even though I thought it was a fucking idiotic idea, Naruto has the right to do what he wants with his life." Karin finished.

Sasuke blinked. Naruto had a right to do what he wanted? Weren't friends supposed to be there to tell people when their ideas were moronic?

"If you really cared about him you wouldn't have let him go." Sasuke hissed, bitterness lacing his voice like the flavor of the same name lacing Sakura's infamous food pills. Suddenly, Sasuke was off the couch and standing. "If you really cared about him you wouldn't have let him do something so stupid!" Sasuke clenched his fists, nails biting into his palms. (He didn't tell me he didn't tell me he trusted her more than me morethanmeMEstupidstupidstupidstupid) "Isn't that what caring about somebody is? Stopping them from hurting themselves?" Sasuke was yelling but he didn't care. He didn't care. Naruto was gone and Karin was acting like it was somehow okay.

Now it was Karin's turn to stand up. "Oh shut up Sasuke! What do you know about caring about somebody? We both know the real reason you want to bring him back is because of all that 'proving yourself' and 'being accepted' bullshit! You're just upset because you couldn't be a good Uchiha and control another human being's life!" Sasuke's eyes widened. He took in a sharp breath.

"Does everybody really think that?" He whispered. "Do you honestly believe that?"

Sasuke could deal with a lot of things. But when the entire village thought he was going to turn around one day and set the place ablaze it hurt. Maybe he'd started doing all the things Uchihas were supposed to do with Uzumakis to prove them wrong, prove that he was trying to protect the village, that he wasn't the murderer that everyone seemed to think he was. And he had known - still knew - that his parents would have wanted him to redeem himself to live a normal life. But it had evolved from that. Once he'd been doing his job in the hopes of redeeming himself, but that was then and this was now! He'd thought he had…

(But you didn't. You fucked up. You fucking idiotidiotidiotidiotIDIOT)

Sasuke realized from Karin's wide eyed expression that he was doing something strange. He felt salt on his lips and suddenly realized that he was crying. No. Nonononono. Uchiha's weren't supposed to cry. Or maybe it was just him who wasn't supposed to? It didn't matter. It didn't matter.

"Did he say where he was going?" Sasuke asked, immediately mortified by the tremor in his voice.

Karin nodded slowly, any anger having left her body at the sight of Sasuke, normally so silent and emotionless, shedding tears. "He said something about going west." She muttered, before looking at the floor. Sasuke nodded, his body still tense, his fists clenched, but the tears slowed.

"Thanks." The brunet said quietly, turning and marching out of the house, not looking back until he had left the Uzumaki district completely.

(Stupid)

Sasuke took the stairs up to the top of the Hokage tower two at a time. He sprinted past the ANBU guards who hollered at him to stop, and threw the doors to the Hokage's office open. When the blonde woman looked up from where she sat, sipping from a cup of sake, Sasuke immediately composed himself, letting his face become passive.

"What is it kid?" Tsunade asked raising an eyebrow at the still slightly panting Sasuke.

"I think I might know where Naruto is." Sasuke said as he tried to steady his breathing. Tsunade raised a single eyebrow, causing the diamond shaped seal on her forehead to deform ever so slightly.

"The blond brat? Do continue." Tsunade said sarcastically, taking a swig from her cup.

"Apparently he worked together with…" When Tsunade's head snapped up Sasuke caught himself from saying Karin's name. "...Someone, and I have reason to believe he's headed west, towards Suna." Sasuke continued. "I'd like to request to build a team to go and retrieve him." He finished confidently. Tsunade had said that they couldn't search for something with no indication as to where it was, but now they did have an idea where Naruto was! Sasuke knew not to get too hopeful but maybe-

"Absolutely not." Tsunade said sharply and Sasuke tried his best to conceal his sharp intake of breath through his nose and the narrowing of his eyes. "You were beaten nearly to death from facing him alone a mere two weeks ago. You are not going after him this soon after that ordeal." She finished sternly. Sasuke opened his mouth to protest but Tsunade stopped him. "Save it." She said. "My word is final." And Sasuke had to bite his lip to keep from trying to retaliate again.

"Fine." He said, his face showing no sign of emotion. "But I do expect you to give me a chance, provided I eventually show enough skill." And with that he turned out of the office and marched off.

"Brat." Tsunade mumbled to herself as she turned to the pile of paperwork stacked high up on her desk.

He didn't understand it.

He didn't understand any of it. Why would he leave? What could possibly lead Naruto, someone so patient and forgiving, to be so irreversibly angered as to driving him to leave his home? And why hadn't he told Sasuke, his best friend? That's what they had been right? Best friends? Sasuke had always viewed Naruto as the most important person in his life after his family's execution. Hadn't Naruto felt the same way? (Obviously not if he didn't come to you about this). He hadn't known what to do… He hadn't known how to act, so he'd done what he thought was right, what would keep Naruto with him. But he'd failed miserably, and now the blond was…

(Gone. Everyone is gone.)

Sasuke's feet kept on taking strides forwards, kicking up dirt behind him, dirtying his blue sandals. He raked his right hand's fingernails along his left arm, a habit he'd developed shortly after his family's all too early demise. Sometimes he wished he'd been blamed for the whole affair too. Then he would've been killed along with his family and he wouldn't be dealing with the village now. Dying would be so easy... but he couldn't. If not due to his promise to his family to keep on living, then now because he needed to save Naruto. The idiot thought he was making the right decision but he didn't know what was good for him. Naruto was too nice. The outside would…

(It'll eat him alive)

And if it wasn't just that, Naruto was without Sasuke, and therefore, without someone to control the Kyuubi, and protect him. Didn't he know that without Sasuke he wasn't just a danger to others, but also to himself? The thing living inside of him was pure evil incarnate, and was just waiting to escape it's vessel and kill Naruto. There was a reason that the linked seals had been used for so long. They were necessary and they worked so long as the jinchuuriki willingly gave their control to the Uchiha. (And yet back at the battle he didn't. He's always let me calm down the Kyuubi but this time he didn't.) And why? Because he believed that Sasuke was using him? That the village was using him? That wasn't true in the slightest.

It wasn't true, was it?

Sasuke was brought out of his musings by a familiar voice calling his name. He turned around to see the pink haired kunoichi jogging towards him, and instinctively he clenched his fist around his forearm that he'd been scratching, able to feel the slightly raised and rough skin that his nails had painted white. He hadn't talked to her since she'd come to visit him in the hospital and he'd essentially told her to fuck off. Sasuke made sure to hide any looks of annoyance from his face as his eyes met the girl's.

"Sakura." He said simply, letting his right hand drop from the now faintly red forearm. "What is it?" He asked, tucking his hands into his short pockets easily.

"You're out of the hospital, is what!" Sakura said, her eyebrows drawing together just a bit.

"You didn't think to come see me?" She jabbed her finger into the center of Sasuke's chest. Sasuke flinched at the contact and swatted her hand away.

"Why should I?" He deadpanned, crossing his arms and looking down at his (only remaining) teammate.

"Because I'm your friend?" Sakura said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, huffing as she crossed her arms as well.

(Because I'm your friend because I'm your friend but if he was your friend then why did he leave?)

Sasuke blinked. He couldn't be mad at Sakura. This wasn't her fault. (It's all my fault.). "You're right Sakura," Sasuke said eyes suddenly fixed on the ground. He glanced up as he continued. "I'm sorry." He muttered.

People kept on walking past, but Sasuke couldn't hear anything but silence. He looked up, and saw Sakura staring him down. He stared back. He didn't know what either of them were looking for.

"He'll come back." Sakura said, carefully, like she was afraid if she said something wrong Sasuke might shatter. (Was that an inaccurate assumption though?) "It's Naruto. He needs you right? To control the Kyuubi. And he doesn't stay mad for long. He probably just...made a stupid impulsive decision," She seemed to be talking to herself more than Sasuke. "He has to come back."

"What if he doesn't?" Sasuke said, the words flying out of his mouth before he thought them through, like something had punched it out through his stomach. "What if he doesn't come back? Tsunade won't let me form a party to go retrieve him and he's going to die without someone to help him. What if he doesn't want to be here? Then what?" Sasuke's face remained firmly neutral, but only because he'd already cried in front of one person today and he refused to do it again. He turned to Sakura, whose eyes remained steely and mint and sharp.

"Then...he doesn't come back." She said. (How can she say that so easily?) "We'll miss him and we'll hope he's okay but...We don't need him to live our lives, Sasuke." Sasuke didn't know when Sakura had grabbed his hands in hers, but he was suddenly aware that she had when she squeezed his hands gently.

(You don't understand. I do need him. He's the only person I've got. He's the only person who understands what it's like and he can't just leave me like that. I need him I need him I need him)

Sasuke tore his hands away, and felt his blood grow cold. "Why are you so calm about all of this?" He said, sneering, and the way Sakura wilted (Sakura blossoms fall fall fall) almost made him feel guilty enough to stop, but she was so casual about this all and it infuriated Sasuke. "Our teammate and one of our best friends has run away to certain death and you're okay with that?" He felt like screaming, like crying, but all he could do was say it in a monotonous voice as he stared Sakura down. All he had the energy to do. "We should be getting stronger! We should be trying to find out why he left! We can't just...Just accept that he's gone!" Sakura's eyes were so wide and green and fresh that Sasuke swore he could see a forest in them.

"You think I'm not upset about all of this?" Sakura raised her chin at Sasuke and jabbed at Sasuke's chest. "You need to wake up! There's some things we can't do! We are shinobi, and we have to know when to quit!"

"Well maybe this isn't one of the times we're supposed to do that then!" Sasuke said, and his voice was getting louder and he felt himself wanting to sink more and more into the ground. "How can you just...give up?"

"I haven't given up!"

"Then what the hell would you call it?"

"It's called waiting, Sasuke! It's called realizing that we can't do anything right now and we have to work hard so that one day we can! I want him back just as much as you do. This isn't all about you!" Sakura was yelling now, and tears were beginning to form in her eyes. Blue on mint on pink. And Sasuke swallowed the lump that formed in his throat at that.

"Sorry." He said, eyes glaring at the rocks beneath their feet. "It's not your fault… I'm just…"

"Yeah." Sakura finished, wiping her eyes and sniffing. "We just...We just have to hope, you know? Hope that one day we'll be good enough to bring him back."

"Yeah…" Sasuke said, and his hand went back to scratching his arm.

Somewhere in the desert, the skin on Naruto's stomach burned.

The idea came to Sasuke in a weird middle space between dream and wakefulness.

(Go.)

The next morning, he woke up, packed his bag with food pills from Sakura, books from the library, and a few spare clothes. He paused for a moment to look at the photo of Team 7. It was nostalgic, and it'd only really been a few weeks since Naruto had left. Sakura grinned at the camera, Naruto smiling toothily, and Sasuke giving a small smirk, Kakashi ruffling Naruto and Sasuke's hair. Sasuke stared at the image. He would fix this. Not for the village, not because it was his job as Naruto's assigned Uchiha, but because he wanted to.

He would do this.

(At least I'll try.)

He ran off to Orochimaru's place of residence. It wasn't really a "house" so much as it was a place where someone lived. Orochimaru's place was right up against the base of the mountain into which the Kage faces were carved. The entrance was external and looked much like any house's front door, but past the front hallway the home opened up into a humongous cave carved out of the stone of the mountain. It was something like what Sasuke imagined the inside of an ant hill looked like.

Sasuke wasn't stupid. He was fairly certain Orochimaru was doing some morally dubious things within these walls, as he was sure most of all shinobi in the village were aware. A known secret. But he was strong and Sasuke clearly wasn't strong enough. (Eyes and blood and the fire of Naruto's forearm against his throat) Sakura said they should wait, but that answer didn't satisfy Sasuke. He couldn't wait when he could be knocking on Orochimaru's door.

Knock knock knock. Sasuke rapped his knuckles against the front door. It was very early in the morning, but the jounin was known for being up and around town as early as sunrise, so it wasn't that-

"Looking for something Sasuke?" A raspy voice said from behind Sasuke, and he was proud of himself for not jumping. He turned around and there was Orochimaru, pale and intimidating as ever, the barely risen sun casting light on just the tops of his head and shoulders.

"Someone, actually." Sasuke said, and he lifted his chin in an attempt to show some sort of authority. "I want you to train me." He said.

Orochimaru raised a single eyebrow before his face softened into something that may have been identifiable as a smile. "Why don't you come inside, Sasuke?"

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