Regrets
Todd wasn'ta afraid of dying, not after what he had been through. There were many times in his life where he thought that he was as good as dead, but after losing 8 years of life he couldn't imagine what else was left to fear. Sometimes all he had left were his memories, and even then he didn't know if he could call them his own. What was in a name anyways? Turned out- everything.
There were moments of shame, moments where he wasn't so proud of who he was or what he'd done or where he'd been. Before Irene, there were moments where he'd have given anything to have worn the shoes of any other man. Not that he didn't have regrets. A man could torture himself to death with a lifetime of regrets if his mind would let him. Turned out Irene took care of that for him.