4. So Much More

That was when she hated him. Deeply. Feeling disillusioned, made fun of and being greatly shocked about the words he uttered without a single sign he has merely been trying to tease her, Elisabeth threw him a look that was full of feelings that Death was afraid of seeing in her eyes. And now they were all directed towards him.

"Forgive me, Elisabeth… that was meant as a joke," he hurried to assure her, at once realising that the 'joke' was not funny at all and very stupid of him.

Forgive him. Again. She was sure she had heard the words from him already. "Do me a favour," she growled, unable to talk calmly… unable to meet his eyes. "Get out." Elisabeth turned away from him, feeling the familiar hysteria coming to her. She felt her perfectly manicured fingernails sticking into her palm. Some physical pain felt nonetheless better than the feelings mingled within her.

Knowing the last thing he wanted was to make her hate him even more than she did at that moment, he sighed and took a breath, resigned. "I apo-

"Just go away." She put all the hatred she could into those three small words meant to chase him off. Death left, without making a noise, closing the door quietly after him. Elisabeth…

The Empress-no-longer heaved a sigh, attempting to stop the unexpected, unneeded and unwanted teardrops from falling. How could you? She knew she was never going to take the ring off her finger, as long as it brought her the desired and much needed protection from things that she did not look forward to experiencing.

However, she felt, knew her real guard was elsewhere. Taking a deep breath, Elisabeth has started, without realising it, to recall the happenings of the day that was not yet over. It was only their first day together, and she had already shouted at him… called him for help… felt the safety of his embrace… was taken over by his hauntingly beautiful voice… and now she was angry at him again.

At that very moment, she was no longer sure about this last part. After all, he has saved her more than once, allowing her to experience what takes place if Elisabeth tries to do things her way… Never angry at her, never commanding her. What kind of man… or something more than a man… was he? What kind of woman, of human am I to judge him or to expect something from him? She ended up thinking it was she who was guilty to have reacted that way. But then again, was it fair of him to act this way? At least he did not say he loved her. As the memory of his words was not gone from her no-longer-human mind, which yet felt more human than ever, she took a deep breath, trying to calm down and escape the haunting flashback… it didn't work.

Elisabeth felt helpless against her own mind. The thoughts spinning in her head were hardly ever pleasant, and neither were her memories. The mixture of feelings within her has finally led her exhaustion. What was more, she felt lonely and forgotten, like a child without a mother. The memories that came back to her then were a knockout. At once, Sisi could recall every detail of refusing to stay with her own son. I know I deserve it, Lord. But even the prayers did not seem to change a thing. I deserve it all.

When Elisabeth opened her eyes, she realised she had fallen asleep. Candles that were burning all around her made her understand it was night. For how long have I been sleeping? Now her mind was clear, as if every dreadful thought had disappeared within the kingdom of nightmares.

"Good morning, Elisabeth." She knew the voice… knew those eyes, that smile and that look. Only then did she realise he was holding her hand, smiling at her. Morning?

"For how long have you-

…been here?" Death helped her to sit up, taking his hand away only to shortly take hers again. His admired did not seem to mind, her eyes demanding explanation. He sighed. "Your silence has frightened me, so I came here, only to find you asleep." Asleep, with traces of tears still on your face. Of course, he was not going to tell her that. Being thought of as someone obsessed with her did not sound appealing. Besides, Death did not think she would have fallen asleep by then, ready to reassure her he never meant to wound her feelings with his foolish remark. The fact that she had been crying has increased his apparent guilt dramatically. But now she did not look offended a bit.

Elisabeth seemed to be content with his answer, until she saw she was wearing a nightgown. Remembering exactly what kind of dress she was in, the beautiful woman gave him a puzzled look. He looked at her intensely. "I hope you are not thinking what I think you do?" Confusion never leaving her eyes, Sisi bit her lip, remaining silent, for that was exactly what she was thinking. Death gave her an assuring look. How much more beautiful can you get?

"I see you are still worried about the nightgown," he grinned. "Just so you know, you were already in it when I entered." Probably one of the maids dressed you up when she saw you were sleeping, or-

Elisabeth nodded. If Death wasn't lying about not being able to read her thoughts, then he could read everything from her eyes anyway. Just like lovers do. The very thought made her want to disappear from his sight. The following realisation was shocking. She felt she would not have minded if it was him who had dressed her. Frightened by the thought, she got up. It was half past one in the morning.

"Get back to bed, Elisabeth…" His quiet words sounded like a lullaby. "There will be time for everything later."

"Why?" She tried to remain unaffected by the tone of his voice, but soon found it was impossible… or maybe Elisabeth only wanted to believe it was, feeling tiredness overtaking her again.

"Because you need to get over everything. Forget the dread of yesterday." She was surprised he could actually talk in the way he did. Elisabeth thought she could hear regret in his voice. But she fell asleep almost at once when her long curls touched the pillow.

"Yes, it was I who did it, Elisabeth," Death whispered, putting a finger on her slightly parted lips, making her mumble in her sleep. He did not lie to her about reading one's thoughts, having voluntarily blocked her thoughts out of his mind… But her eyes could not lie, and he knew more about her than she could have thought possible. He smiled at her and left, this time leaving the door open.