I am happy to present the next chapter the same day as the one before, but I'm afraid that you're not going to like it. I thought seriously about changing things, but this story is going in a specific direction and I can't seem to change it. I've got to stick to the plot...Hang in there with me and the ending will be worth it, I think. I hope you'll agree. Thanks for reading :)

July, 2012.

Four weeks, it had been four long and miserable weeks since he'd seen her face. He hadn't touched her, or smelled her, or kissed her in a month. Richard Castle was going out of his mind. He thought bitterly back to their last fight once again, he'd thrown some pretty ugly and unforgivable things at her that night. There was no going back now, no matter how much he loved her.

What he hated most was that he'd been so very wrong. She had loved him. She loved him and he broke her heart. He would never forgive himself for throwing away what they might have had together. Despite their separation, he was still filled with the need to care for her; to know that she was ok. He'd never loved another woman like he did her and he didn't think that would ever change.

He'd even tried to call Lanie about a week ago. He just wanted to know that she was ok, but instead of confirmation of her well-being, he got an ear-full from the doctor.

"How the hell are you going to say that stuff to her Castle? I thought you were smarter than that? What were you thinking?" He had no defense for his actions, he'd gotten jealous and acted like a prick and it had cost him everything.

"Do you want to know the kicker Castle? She wasn't even involved with that FBI agent, he was a sleaze-bag and she had someone better. Or at least we thought she did, but obviously are proving everyone wrong aren't you?" He finally tried to break her off.

"Please Lanie. I know I messed up. I know that I don't deserve another chance, I just need to know that she's doing ok. Lanie, please. You know how much I love her. How much I've always loved her." He waited for Lanie to take his words in, pleading that she would understand.

"She's doing ok Castle. Not great, but ok. We're seeing that she's taken care of." He sighed.

"Thank you Lanie, you have no idea-"she cut him off.

"Castle. You love her? You really love her? If you love her as much as you claim to then you'll do what's best for her. Leave her the hell alone." Lanie was blunt. She really did like Castle, but she'd never seen Kate the way she had been over the past weeks. She was physically ill over what had happened between them.

"Just leave her alone Castle. Let her move on with her life. Give her chance to heal and be happy again Castle. If you love her as much as you say you do you'll stay away." He sighed heavily into the phone.

"Thank you Lanie."

She sighed, sorry for having to be so hard on the man. She really did have high hopes for them. "Castle, you take care of yourself too."

With that their conversation ended. It was the last Contact he had with the twelfth before he left New York City for good.

Richard Castle sighed as he stared out the large window the spacious apartment. The view was stunning, The city had a very historic feel to it, as if he were looking years into the past. He'd spent the past couple of days growing acclimated to being in a new town, and a new country.

When Alexis made her decision to go to Oxford University, Castle decided that he would buy a place nearby. He lived close enough to provide his daughter with a safe base, somewhere to come home to when she needed it. Though he was still far enough to give the girl her privacy, as she was living on campus.

He thought that being across the ocean and several time zones away would make things easier. It didn't matter, 3500 miles wasn't far enough for him to get her out of his mind. He went to sleep with her memory, dreamed of her, and awoke with her face on his mind.

On several occasions he'd find himself out in public and could swear he'd spot her; sometimes across the street, sometimes in the grocery store. He knew that it wasn't really her, just his heart and his mind wanting her to be there with him.

February, 2013

As the months went by Castle decided that it was time to move on. He knew that there was no hope for his heart, but acknowledged that he could at least move on from Nikki Heat. The books were finished, the contracts had ended. Now was the time for him to move on. He considered another detective, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. At one point he found a forensic pathologist and nearly shadowed him. In the end, there just wasn't enough inspiration. Nothing compared to Kate Beckett.

He eventually found inspiration when he least expected it, from a consultant he met while at a university function with his daughter. Her name was Brenda Long and although working for Oxford, she was an American as well. Alexis was taking an elective course in criminology taught by the woman, eager to keep some thread of the work she'd done with the precinct in her studies.

Brenda was a beautiful woman. She was tall and curvaceous in all the right places, her dark hair fell down her back. He couldn't deny that she looked slightly like Kate did, and that may have been one of the things that attracted him to her as a potential muse.

Their personalities were completely different though. Where Kate was hard and closed, this woman was light and open. She'd obviously not carried the same burdens throughout her life and it left her with more of a carefree essence.

Her whimsical vibe was not to be mistaken for lack of intelligence though. This woman was a doctor. She was a specialist in developmental psychopathology and a criminologist who often worked with local law enforcement to assist in cases that required special insights. She was called all over the country to consult.

Brenda had been very impressed with the famous author, who had requested to spend some time shadowing her next case. He began to think of the sexy professor who would go on adventures and solve mysteries with her brilliant logic and hot body.

She would be the female Indiana Jones. Brenda found the idea to be thrilling, obviously eager to be the next muse of Richard Castle. He found her pleasant, and she made herself available to him in every way he needed. She even offered things he didn't need, that he wasn't ready for. She'd simply shrugged and made it clear that she was ready when he was.

Soon he had an idea, then a detailed concept, then an outline. Soon Richard Castle was writing again in full force, the publishers very pleased with the quality of his work. It seemed that Nikki Heat was not the end for Richard Castle. It had taken months, but he was coming back.

Over time he tried to convince himself that maybe there could be something more there. He tried to believe that with time his feelings would grow. If he could will himself to fall for her he would, just to move on. In the mean time he saw her socially, their photograph often finding it's way to the front page of many papers and magazines. Unlike Kate, Brenda enjoyed the attention. She enjoyed the fame and the extravagance of being linked to the author.

She didn't use him for his money, she was successful in her own right and didn't need it. He found himself very attracted to the notion that she could be with him for reasons than the money, as she was the only woman, aside from Kate, who had ever accepted him for who he was. Granted, she was drawn to the fame, but still-it was an improvement over many of the other women he'd dated in his life.

Alexis seemed to like her too, glad to see her dad dating a strong and smart woman who was also emotionally available. She hoped that the woman would be able to mend what the detective had broken and Castle knew that. Yes, he told himself, he could fall for this woman; he just needed time to put his heart back together. He had been living in England for 7 months and he just needed a little more time to get over Kate Beckett.

A/N: The next few chapters are going to involve a bit of time travel, as we go back and follow Kate as she copes with Castle being gone.