C.J. just looked at him from across the table.
"You want to do…what?"
He sliced his steak smoothly with his knife not looking perturbed at all.
"You heard me."
In contrast, she felt all kind of emotions swirl through her, so many she couldn't identify them all. She had to sip her wine several times and feel the sensation of it going down her throat to really settle down enough to process what he just said.
"You can't be serious!"
He stuck a piece of steak in his mouth, wondering if he should have waited until after he'd finished eating to tell her his news. But he felt this sudden need to tell her before she got too comfortable.
"I am…C.J., while I was dangling from that rope believing I was going to die, so many things flashed through my head…my whole entire life."
She frowned.
"And all your regrets…?"
"Not too many of those," he said, "but I think I will regret it if I never have a child."
She sighed hearing the emotion in his voice which pulled at something inside of her.
"You have plenty of time for that," she said, "You're a young man."
"I know that but life can end so quickly and I want someone to follow in my footsteps," he said, "but it's more than that. I want the experience of raising a child."
She cast him a look.
"You sure about that," she said, "It's a pretty tough road to do that and you're still so focused in her career. You'd have to cut back on that if you were raising a kid."
Matt knew that, after all it's not like he hadn't given it some serious thought but every thought process led back to him wanting someone of his own flesh and blood in his life. His father had wanted him to give him a grandson and now it was too late for that. He felt the tinge of regret which comes from the realization of lost opportunities and he didn't want toad to them.
But how to convince the woman in front of him, because right now, she just looked at him as if he were crazy.
"You do know it takes two to tango…"
"I'm not talking about dancing."
She looked at him pointedly.
"Neither am I Houston."
He sighed getting her point quickly enough, before reaching for his wine and sipping it. When they had arrived, he'd ordered her favorite vintage which had really made her suspicious. But she still had no idea what he was about to drop on her, he could tell. Who else to help him with one of the most serious decisions of his life, with the logistics and just by advising him? He just wished she looked more enthusiastic and less shocked.
One thing she did look was damn sexy, even in casual clothes. He could make out the outline of her breasts underneath her shirt and he outfit flattered her figure in ways that made him feel warmer in his own clothes. Her hair just waited to have a man run his fingers through it while he kissed those lips of hers.
The same ones that looked inviting even when she pursed them like she did right now. He could tell she wasn't pleased with him, would she be less so if he looked at her right now wishing he could melt her clothing off piece by piece.
Alas probably so, better focus to the business at hand. Before she worked herself into walking on out of there.
"So who's going to have this baby for you?"
Ah, that's the question that he'd been thinking about the most once he'd made the decision to procreate. The woman who bore his baby would be chosen after a very arduous screening and selection process of course, including medical exams, psychological and behavioral testing, a credit check, criminal background and an assortment of other criteria would have to be considered.
But he thought about starting the whole process off with a multi-page questionnaire for the original round of contenders. C.J. of course could help him with that part of it.
"I'm going to select her very carefully," he said, "Only the best genetic material will be suitable for the next generation of my family."
She coughed.
"You're kidding right?"
He looked at her absolutely serious.
"I want the woman who is the best candidate to give me the healthiest, most intelligent and of course the best looking child."
C.J. processed that while wiping her face with a napkin.
"Okay then maybe you'd better head to one of those organizations that specialize in egg donors or surrogates. After all, they have sperm donor clinics were some of the donors were Nobel Prize winners."
He looked impressed by that but a little bit unsettled too.
"That sounds…damn clinical."
"Well Houston that's how it turns out when people have kids outside the usual parameters of meeting someone, falling in love and getting married first."
He arched a brow.
"You really that much of a romantic," he asked.
She shrugged.
"I'd rather do it that way than go to a sperm bank," she said, "but I'm not the one who wants to have kids right now."
"Why not…?"
"Haven't found the right guy to share that with me," she said, "Not that I've had enough time to go out and meet guys lately."
He leaned forward.
"You say I'm working you too hard?"
"No…I love what I do," she said, "I wouldn't do anything else. I just haven't prioritized marriage and kids yet. Besides we're not talking about me, we're talking about you and your child to be."
"Ah yes, well I've drawn up some basic schematics of how it's going to go down," he said, "All the questions, the tests and the final interviews. You will be sitting in on them won't you with the finalists?"
She sighed.
"Only if it doesn't play off like a beauty contest…"
He fingered his wine glass looking at her.
"It's the most important project I've ever worked on C.J.," he said, "I have to get it done precisely right."
She poured herself some more wine. He figured she probably needed it at this point.
"So, have you thought about some other logistics of your plan?"
"Like what?"
She took a deep breath choosing her words carefully.
"How this conception of your baby's going to take place," she said, "Are you going with AI…."
"What's that?"
"Artificial insemination of course," she said, "You know where they stick you in a bathroom with some porn and you…you know…provide a sample."
He didn't look too taken aback at that but then like most guys, he probably had done that in nonclinical surroundings a time or two.
"That might work but it'd not be my favorite method of course."
She folded her arms at him.
"Okay then that leaves sex and if you bring that into the equation, your plan's going to get a hell of a lot more complicated."
His brows furrowed.
"How so…sex between a man and a woman can be quite simple," he said, "You get together, you talk and then you leave together to go get naked somewhere."
She tilted her face at him.
"That's one way of putting it," she said, "but this isn't casual sex Houston, this is making a baby and that's got to be a whole lot different."
"Really…I wouldn't think so," he said, "the body parts work the same way don't' they?"
Her throat parched just a bit so she sipped her wine.
"Yes…but it's all about the feelings and if the woman goes into it feeling one thing and comes out of it feeling very different."
"I'd hope she'd feel good afterward."
And he knew that he could pleasure any woman in his bed, and if the mother of his baby wound up there, he'd make damn sure to give her some good memories to take with her. But was C.J. saying that she'd come out emotionally attached to him, well he couldn't have that.
"That's not what I mean and you know it," she said, "Why are you being so obtuse about what I'm saying?"
He leaned forward resting his chin on his hand.
"Because I don't think that necessarily will happen," he said, "but there will be a contract involved that she'll give me primary custody of the baby."
"What about if she wants a role in her baby's life," C.J. asked.
"Well, she can have…visits and I'll send her photos and videos of him or her periodically."
She just sighed and he had no idea what she was thinking right now but it didn't look good.
"Houston you have no clue what happens when women have children."
"She might not want to see her baby after it's born," he pointed out, "there are mothers like that."
C.J. bit her lip and Matt almost wished he could take it back.
"I know Houston…but she might not be like that and then what are you going to tell her when you try to push her to the periphery of its life?"
He listened to her words and knew she meant them, but he's have it all planned out and she'd help him and he'd decide whether sex would be in the cards or he'd choose the more clinical method of reproduction.
"I just hope you know what you're doing," she said, "This is much different than anything you've been involved in before…it's not a business merger or a project."
Irritation filled him but he swallowed it back, because he knew her words came from concern about him.
"I know C.J. and it's going to work out just fine," he said, "Now get some dessert. I heard the mousse is great."
She sighed.
"I know…but well what do you want in the mother?"
Matt's brow knit as he thought about it.
"I want her to be intelligent, pleasant and if we choose the bedroom route, beautiful to look at with a great body and who knows how to please a man in the sack."
Oh she rolled her eyes at him just then and he just smiled.
"Matt I guess that's a great description of your next one night stand."
Ouch, he thought and she had tempered her biting comments with a smile, but it's the type of remark that could be erased if he'd walk right over her and kiss her mouth, gently at first and then when he slipped his tongue in between her parted lips, with more thoughtful exploration. He knew his body would react to her and that it'd be all he could do to not sweep her off her feet and take her somewhere private.
She just looked at him before calling a waiter to order some of that mousse. If she had to sit and listen to his plan, she might as well get a decadent dessert out of it. But seriously what was he thinking?
And when he described the attributes of his candidate for his child's mother, she'd sighed thinking that it was pretty much the opposite of her…except the intelligent part. That left her feeling a bit bereft though she had no reason to feel that way about her friend.
But even though she realized she felt far short of the perfection he clearly wanted, she also knew she'd help him in his mission because she cared about him so much and she wanted him to be happy.
And if siring a child with a stranger made him happy, then how could she say no to him?