Chapter IV | Gone, Gone Away

Hyde had to work very hard to keep the dark haired spirit calm. He had to lay on him most of the night. Holding him tightly to his chest as he squirmed and cried to get away. The thunder didn't help during the night either. It only aggravated him. Hyde felt like his heart was going to beat out his chest. It hadn't slowed since he got back and found Jokul with cuts all over his body. He was so relieved when Jokul finally gave up and passed out against him.

Slowly Hyde raised himself up from the ground and groped around to the find his sweater. "Where did he put it…?" He sniffed a little and finally found it. He took hold of it and gently laid it over his mate, giving his mate an affectionate lap to his hair. When Jokul stayed asleep, Hyde took a moment to wander outside and grab some herbs. They were still kinda out in the middle of nowhere but that was okay. The things he needed grew all over. He was going to try something desperate later. He needed to help the tainted winter spirit to forgive himself. To make him realize this wasn't his fault.

The warmth that vanished made Jokul stir. "Hyde…?" He called out for his mate and opened his blue eyes to try and locate him. "Hyde?" He called again and moved to sit up, wincing as he did. "Nggh…What?" He mumbled and looked down at his chest and arms. He was all cut up! When the hell did that happen?! He didn't remember doing that. "Hyde! Hyde, where are you?! Hyde!"

The pooka jerked when he heard the other cry out his name. He shoved the herbs in the little pouch he had brought with him. He cursed a little and laced it around his neck and bolted back to the cave. He knew that had been a bad idea. "Jokul. Jokul it's okay, I'm right here. Come on, calm down." He said in a soft voice as he sat down and pulled him close to his chest once more. "It's okay. I got some stuff to make you feel better. How are your cuts? Are they almost healed?" He asked moving a paw to touch over where the cuts had been. They were almost gone. Good thing he healed fast. Jokul looked up at him moving to press his hands against Hyde's chest, shoving him back into the wall and climbing into his lap. "You make me feel better Hyde… you make the guilt go away." Hyde frowned and shook his head a little pushing back against him, only to groan when Jokul pressed against him. "Jokul, this isn't what you need. I have something to help you." Jokul shook his head and whined trying to grind against him and grab Hyde's eat making the pooka snarl at him and get him to stop, grapping his wrist in a tight grip. "Stop it! This isn't what you need, it's not going to take the guilt away…" He said lightly taking his face in his paws. "A moment of feeling good is not going to make it go away… you have to deal with this. I'm here to help you, but I can't help you that way." He said in a rather soft voice that wasn't really like his own. Jokul stared for a long moment before moving nerve dead fingers to rub through the soft fur. "Hyde. My heart feels funny. So heavy. Every time I close my eyes. I see the same thing over and over again. I see her laying there! Staring at me with unforgiving lifeless eyes… telling me over and over that it was my fault…" He muttered and leaned his forehead against Hyde's. He sighed as the pooka's paws wrapped around him and held him there. "I'm tryin' to help. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't Jokul." Jokul could have swore he heard what Hyde heard what Hyde said to him. But suddenly everything sounded like rushing water. Even if Hyde was talking he didn't understand him.

The voices?

They're so quiet.

Everything is so quiet.

"Hyde… can we lay down for a while?" He asked softly as he pulled away to grab his sweater and yank it on over his marred skin. Hyde blinked a little and nodded to him. "Yeah, mate we can lay down for a while." Jokul smiled softly and pushed him down onto his side. He laid down against his chest, curling up against him a little. He let his breathing slow to make it seem like he was sleeping. Listening to Hyde for a while, soon his was soft and steady. The occasional snore made him want to giggle but he stifled himself. He would have to wait even longer if Hyde woke up. Ever so gently Jokul pulled himself up and away from Hyde. The pooka didn't even notice. He was probably still so beat from hunting and then running right back here. He smiled a little and soothed the fur on his head before kissing his head softly.

"I'm sorry, Hyde… I love you." He whispered softly before pulling away from him and grabbing his staff. He walked to the edge of the cave, taking a moment to look back at his sleeping mate.

Am I doing the right thing?

By going away?

He'll be mad…

But…

"Jokul.

We have to leave.

Go."

He sighed as the voice commanded him. He turned away and stepped out of the cave. He looked up and closed his eyes. "Wind… take me home." Pushing off from the ground he let the wind take him up and away from the cave.

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A soft wind blew into the cave, making Hyde stir. "Jokul… quit it with the wind… come on, it's cold." He muttered moving a paw to reach for the black haired teen. "Jokul?" He muttered again opening his eyes when he touched nothing. "Jokul?! Jokul where are you?" He called getting up fast to see if he could sniff out the spirit. "Jokul!" He yelled sniffing around the cave before moving out. He sniffed the air. He was gone. The wind had taken him somewhere.

Oh god he's gone.

This is bad.

Jokul.

Hyde growled and panted as he tried to think of something. Where would he go? Where would he go? The wind blew again, whispering to him. The dark pooka lifted his head and listened to it.

He went home.

It whispered to him.

Home?

Where was hom-…

Then it clicked. "Hyde you idiot!" He growled at himself, tapping the ground to open the rabbit hole. He jumped in and raced to where Jokul was. That same place the little girl had died.

Burgess.