Disclaimer: Voyager and its characters belong to paramount.

I wrote this rewrite of Workforce a while ago, intending it to just be a short story, but with all the positive reviews, i've delayed adding this final chapter as I've been trying to figure out if and how I should continue it. I've decided just to finish it here as I always intended, so please let me know if you think I've done the characters any more or less justice than they received from the show.

Chapter 4

With a heavy head, Chakotay sat up on the bio bed, his mind still groggy and feeling strangely at odds with the chirpy greeting in which he was greeted by the EMH.

"Ah, commander," the doctor said happily as he passed a triquarder over his body, "how are you feeling? Do you remember me?"

He frowned, his mind momentarily going blank as to why he was in sickbay, "of course," he said, his confusion increasing slightly a fragments of memories came back to him.

Then he remembered. He had been on a planet, taken by force, and his memories had been altered… suddenly the events of not only the past few days which he lead to his rescue, but also of the past six weeks on Quarra came back to him… of Kathryn. He let out a long breath as that last realisation struck him, one which he had slowly begun to feel more guilty about the past few days as he had been receiving treatment on Voyager, and now he had finished his course of treatments the reason as to why became clear to him.

"Well commander, I'm glad to give you a clean bill of health," he announced.

Chakotay hesitated, before nodding, "good," he said. "The captain... is her treatment now complete?"

"Yes," the doctor frowned with concern, having observed some unusual behaviour between his commanding officers since their return;

On their first visit to the sickbay had had witnessed them express an affection towards one another, he knew that in their professional stances neither of them would have allowed. After the first round of treatments they had remained close, and together they had explored and rediscovered their lives. However, after the second treatment when their memories became clearer and more focussed instead of everything simply seeming familiar, the doctor noticed them behave uncertainly towards one another, and that second night he was sure they had spent apart. Now that their memories had been fully restored, he reasoned that whatever they had experienced together on that planet, they would need to deal with, as he was certain whatever it was would not easily be forgotten.

"The captain returned to her quarters to recuperate," the EMH elaborated, "I suggest that you do the same."

Chakotay stepped off the bio bed and nodded his head curtly as if to thank the doctor, but unable to quite find the words to do so, having never felt so uncertain before in his life if he had really should have been thankful for a rescue. "I will do that," he said at last, before briskly stepping out of sickbay.

V

Kathryn Janeway stood alone in front of the large view port which span her quarters, staring blankly out at the stars which were whirring past the ship. With each second that went by she felt a sad awareness that they were another thousand kilometres from the planet; and for once she wasn't glad to be another thousand closer to home. The silence of space and the gentle humming of the ship were the ideal background for her thoughts which drifted over memories, danced across regrets and with reluctance settled on the uncertainties of her future decisions. Part of her wanted to give in to her wants and desires, but another part (a much stronger one) knew better, could see beyond the horizon and told her that she must hold her ground; no matter what he said.

The door bleeped for entry and she almost startled at the unexpectedness of the sound as she quickly broke from her revere. With a deep breath she swiftly cleared her mind, and angling herself towards the door she allowed admittance to her sanctuary. The doors opened instantly, and it was him, of course it was, now in his uniform with a sombre expression and cautious look in his eyes.

"I know it's late…" he began.

"It's fine," she said softly, "take a seat." For a moment she almost met his gaze, as he hesitated a moment in the doorway, but she caught herself quickly and trained her attention back on the window, purposefully keeping her back to him to gain a few seconds to collect herself as he walked into the space.

Chakotay hesitated before he crossed the threshold as he noticed the dim lighting of her quarters, the absence of the fresh scent of coffee filling the air and her stance by the view port and recognised that she was brooding. She was clad in her uniform, her hair and her makeup perfect, and the mask on her face impenetrable, and it was with a great sadness that he noted the last remains of the Kathryn he had known on that planet had now disappeared, to be replaced by this woman, who was his captain and his closest friend… but never his lover.

She, as he had, had probably spent most of that day since their final treatment going over in her mind what had happened on Quarra. It had taken him a while to sort through his feelings for the woman he had known on that planet, and those for his captain, and he had come to the unsurprising conclusion that they were no different, it was just in one life he had been able to express his love for this woman, and in another he was forced to repress it. He had no doubt that she had been struggling with a similar dilemma, but despite his hopes that she would acknowledge her feelings for him, he knew that she would in all probability pretend that they had been two different people, and the affair that they had begun on the planet had no foundation on Voyager. With that last thought his heart broke.

Although tempted to retreat and avoid her for a little longer, he realised that he had already done that enough since they had been back, so he resigned himself to his fate and entered. He noticed that she avoided his gaze before she turned away from him, and was quick to recognise it as a bad sign, despite how expected it had been, he was overcome with a sense of loss that it had to be this way.

He sat himself down on the couch in her quarters, clasping his hands on his lap and looking straight ahead on the floor ahead of him as he patiently waited for the inevitable.

A long silence enveloped them both, one which neither were willing to break as they took time to sort their thoughts, until finally she spoke.

"It may not have been entirely real Chakotay," Kathryn said at last with a great distance and heaviness to her voice, "but it felt like home. If they hadn't have come after us, we may never have known that we had another life."

He pursed his lips, looking across in her direction as she continued to stare out at window, both of them considering what might have been if Voyager hadn't have come for them, "do you regret any of it?"

Kathryn turned her head slightly so that he saw the profile of her face, "no," she surprised him, but from her sad expression he would have thought she'd said otherwise.

His heart jumped at the unexpectedness of word (as he had considered she would be in full denial), but then he saw tears glimmering in her eyes and he understood that she was referring not only to their time on that planet, but also to Voyager having rescued them. Seeing how difficult it was for her, in a moment of weakness he considered pushing for more.

Slowly, he raised himself from the couch, taking a few steps towards her, but purposefully stopping himself when he was just a few feet away. "I would have said I fell in love with you on that planet," he began to admit, his voice rich, soft and luring and sounding much stronger than he felt, "but the truth is that I fell in love with you years ago."

His bluntness stunned Kathryn, and she turned to face him. The surprise of finding him standing so close to her caused her eyes to unintentionally meet his for the first time since they had regained their memories, and for a brief moment he realised the effect his close proximity was having on her. The need for him he saw residing in the depths of her blue eyes was there for less than a nano second before it was forcibly removed as she quickly controlled herself and again the command mask slipped back into place. But he saw it all the same.

She didn't respond straight away as she gathered herself, trying desperately not to react automatically to his words, as she knew if she allowed herself to do so, she would allow him to take her right there. "I'm not sure what you want from me Chakotay," she started, "but I can't-"

"I know," he cut her off, not wanting to hear whatever she had been about to say, "I know," he repeated with a heavy sigh. The truth was that he had known since the doctor had woken him from his final treatment that it was over, but knowing what was coming didn't mean it hurt any less to experience it. "I'm not expecting you to keep any promises we made to one another…" he said after a while, "I just wanted you to know that it hadn't meant nothing to me."

Her eyes closed momentarily as she allowed herself to acknowledge his words, truthfully she wasn't sure of her feelings for him now or before, but she was forced to admit to herself that it had meant something to her also. "Do you think we can forget what happened and go back to how it was before?"

Unable to stop himself, his mind flickered back to making love to her in the shower, of her finger nails digging into his shoulders as he held her against the ceramic tiles, water flowing over their bodies as they gasped for every breath, feeling both suffocated and exhilarated at the same time. The truth was that no, he couldn't forget what they had shared on Quarra, how it had felt to hold her in his arms at night and to chat as lovers into the early hours of the morning. Even when he looked at her now he had to repress the urge to go to her, to wrap his arms around her and hold her indefinitely. "Do you really want to do that?"

Her shoulders sagged, and once more she summoned the strength to turn and meet his gaze, her eyes pleading with him not to make this any harder than it already was. When Chakotay recognised what he was doing to her he couldn't help but feel guilty; if their memories hadn't been altered she would never have allowed what happened. To push for it here, on Voyager and from her, was asking too much.

Knowing that she wasn't going to change her mind, Chakotay decided to tell her what she needed to hear. "We can go back to how it was before, how it's always been," he said at last, "at least I'm willing to try…"

The grateful expression she meant to shoot in his direction faltered, and her mask slipped a moment, and he saw the true grief of what they had lost held at the back of her eyes. "Thank you," she managed, her voice cracking, so she swallowed hard.

He wasn't finished though, and despite the little voice at the back of his mind telling him to let it be, to leave her alone, to not say anything which would only add to her burden, for once the selfish part of him won out and he went on to speak his mind. "We can pretend Kathryn, but I'm not going to forget, and I don't think you will either."

The shocked look on her face provided him with just a moments satisfaction that he needed to hurt a little less.

To his surprise though her expression quickly cleared, "don't think this is easy for me Chakotay," she said quietly, almost struggling with every syllable, and again he was overcome with a guilt for having done that too her.

Closing his eyes for a brief moment to acknowledge the hidden meaning of her words, the meaning that she wouldn't even admit to herself… that she had feelings for him; and not in the way she felt so strongly and cared about every member of her crew, or how she cherished all of her closest friends, but the feelings for a lover, for a most trusted confident, a soul mate, for him. "If you ask me to wait, I will-" he began but she held up her hand to stop him.

Shaking her head she smiled sadly across at him, "you would only end up resenting me," she said, "that is, if you don't already…"

His eyes widened and with a sad realisation he came to understand that she had known about his feelings for her for a long time now, but for the same reasons she was refusing to acknowledge them now, she had never back then. He wanted to tell her that he had never resented her, but truthfully there had been so many occasions where his frustration with her cool and controlled exterior and refusal to let him in had driven him close to resentment. He had been in love with her for years, and for that reason, more than any other, he had been reluctant to engage in an affair with any other member of the crew… despite the numerous opportunities to do so. It had been hope that had kept him going, hope that she might ignore protocol, forget the crew and her burden and overcome the inappropriateness of such a relationship to embrace what he was now certain she felt for him. Despite the remote possibility of it ever happening, that hope had kept him going for over four years now, to have it dashed so firmly and finally by her in only a few seconds almost took his breath away.

It took him a moment to regain his composure, and when he had, he found her still there, watching him carefully, waiting patiently for him to say something. Any energy that had been in him to continue to fight had been sapped in those seconds and he let out a breath that he hadn't been aware of holding. "I should go," he said at last.

She nodded with acceptance, as if agreeing that there was nothing more to be said, so it was probably for the best, but as he walked away, he couldn't help but feel bitterly disappointed that she was allowing him to leave so easily. Secretly he wanted her to call him back, to tell him what they were doing was a mistake, but he knew that it wasn't. There were reasons they had never before intensified their relationship, and those reasons hadn't disappeared since their return to the ship. What had happened on Quarra had been the mistake, and now the memories of it would serve as a torturous example of what they could have had, if they had met under other circumstances.

And so he left, and she allowed him to leave, and whilst they both knew they would not forget what they had shared on that planet, they also both accepted that they would have to let it go. It would take them time to come to terms with the lives on Quarra they had lost by returning to the lives on Voyager which they had forgotten, but with time to grieve for that loss they both believe they could return to how it had been before. Or at least they hoped so.

Fin

I know it's not a very JC ending, but I tried to imagine how, if they had have written this episode, it would have ended... and this is what came to mind. Thanks for reading.