You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

He's disappearing
Fading suddenly
I'm so close to being yours
Won't you stay with me
Please

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

Fine Frenzy

Jacob paced Bella's room, trying to keep his seething rage from boiling over and consuming him. "WHAT THE FUCK! Bella!" His face was contorted in agony. She could have driven a dull hatchet into his heart and it wouldn't have hurt this badly.

Bella was shocked and confused. 'What just happened?' "Was I moving to fast?" she said "Jake, I'm sorry. I, I thought that you wanted this?" She searched his face, thinking back to what had happened and trying to find what she had done to cause this reaction.

As soon as she remembered, Jake lashed out again. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Jake asked incredulously. "Bells! You said that fucking leech's name when I was about to make LOVE to you!" His face was wrenched in such a way that he was almost unrecognizable and his beautiful, naked, body rippled in rage. "Do you know what you just did to me? I was almost INSIDE of you and you were thinking about Edward?" He walked over to the window, preparing to leap out and turned to give Bella one last look.

"I love you Bella, but you aren't over him and I can't come in second." He was crying fat, heavy tears as he jumped down into the yard.

"Jake!" Bella cried. "Jake I'm so sorry!" She ran to the window, but it was too late, he was nowhere in sight. Bella threw on some sweatpants and a tank-top and climbed ungracefully out her window. She ended up with a bruised tail-bone and a twisted ankle, but those were nothing in the shadow of her wounded heart.

"JAKE!" she called. She ran through the woods, tripping and scratching herself but, still calling out his name. "Jake PLEASE!" She was frantic, and sobbing. 'I can't lose another one. I am such an idiot, why did I say Edward' "JAKE please I'm so sorry!"

Bella tripped and fell again, hard. Her leg cracked under her weight and searing pain coursed through her body. Bella cried harder than she had ever cried in her life; she cried for Jake, for Edward, for her broken leg and her wounded heart. She cried because she was stranded in the forest with no one to love or protect her again. 'I am in the middle of nowhere, no one is going to find me and I'm going to die out here alone.' She thought. 'I deserve it.' Then the rain began.

Jake heard her calling him. "Fuck you," he muttered under his breath but, he didn't mean it. 'How can I be such a fool that all I want to do is go back to her and let her hold me and eat up her crap about being sorry.' He was walking through the woods and not 'running' because he didn't want to change and listen to Sam gloat and say "I told you so." He leaned against the oak he had stashed his clothes buy and bent down to put them on. He closed his eyes and laid his head against the solid trunk.

Tears welled in his eyes and ran down his cheeks. 'Pull it together.' He told himself. He breathed in deep, attempting to inhale the relaxing aroma of the forest but, instead was assaulted by the scent of Bella's desire that clung to him. He felt used and dirty.

Jake crushed his huge copper fist into the oak, rocking it down to the roots. He felt pain course through his arm, but it barely dulled the pain inside.

He opened his eyes and lifted his face to the starless sky. Thick, ugly rain drops splattered his cheeks, he inhaled again, hoping that the heavy aroma of rain would wash away whatever evidence remained of his encounter with Bella and once again was struck by her scent, but this time it was near by and mixed with the coppery smell of blood.

Jake's breath hitched and his heart leaped into his throat. 'Please let her be ok,' he panicked. 'If she is hurt because of me I won't be able to forgive myself.' Jake crashed through the forest in the direction of the smell. "Bella!" he called. "Baby I know you're hurt! Where are you?"

Edward stretched his stiff muscles. It was unusual for him to need to stretch, but since his forcible return to Forks, he had begun the readjustment to animal blood and it was becoming extremely difficult to do everyday things. Well, everyday "vampire things."

This was a surprisingly new experience for Edward. When Edward was first turned, he had messed up a couple of times and the guilt was excruciating but, Carlisle had always been there to make him feel guilty. With Crucea, he had a rare chance to embrace that lifestyle. Edward had grown too accustomed to the power and the satisfaction that came with human blood and forgot about the guilt.

The guilt. Bella's face flashed in front of his eyes, beautiful and innocent. He wanted so badly to see her, to touch her, to smell her. He pictured her in his arms, looking at him with those big brown eyes but, the image changed. It twisted into a nightmare where Bella's blood was soaking into his clothes and his eyes were a deep, hateful crimson. He shuddered.

'Who am I?' He thought. Over a hundred years ought to be enough to find that answer, but he felt more confused now than ever. 'I need to see Bella,' he thought. 'I want to go back to Crucea.' Edward Cullen was at war with himself.

He stood in the clearing where his family played baseball and where he had first shown Bella what he really was. He felt the big fat Forks rain that he missed so much soak into his skin. 'God I missed this place.'

For a moment, it didn't matter if Edward hated himself, thirsted for human blood, and loved a woman he would never be with, because he was home and it felt good. Edward's ancient heart swelled in his chest and a smile broke on his face. His blood pulsed in his veins and coiled in his legs as he leaped into the air, enjoying the wet spray against his skin.

When he landed, he felt it more than he should. 'Getting used to animal blood is unbearable.' Edward's perfect brows knitted together in frustration. He needed to drain another animal. 'Maybe there are more deer nearby' He thought. He had begun to follow some fresh tracks when he heard the most beautifully miserable sound. Bella's voice calling for Jacob Black.

A groan of misery and frustration barreled out of Edward. He gripped his hair in tight fists on either side of his head and sank his knees hard into the wet earth. "Noooooooooooooooo." He moaned. The monster inside of him was begging, fighting and pleading to get out... and it was winning.

After hearing her voice, it was all to easy for Edward to pick up her scent. A hunger like Edward had ever known coiled in the pit of his stomach and spread like fire. His throat burned with desire and his groin ached with another. His sunset eyes darkened and reddened at the thought of what he wanted to do to Bella. He bolted up right and took off in the direction of her scent. He was unstoppable.

Alice's high pitched, tinkling laugh carried down the stairs and warmed Esme's heart. 'It is so nice to hear her laugh again.' She thought. There was some kind of commotion going on up there. Jasper's low chuckle followed and Esme's curiosity was growing. She set down the book she was reading and started up the stairs. "Alice? Jasper? What's so funny?" She reached the top of the stairs and rounded the corner to find out. When Esme saw the cards spread out across the table and the look of downright rage on Rosalie's face she couldn't help but laugh as well.

"CHEATER!" Rosalie screamed as she hurled her cards at Alice, which produced even more laughter all around... From everyone except Rosalie. "I can't stand it!" Rosalie continued. "Why do we play with her Emmitt!" She screamed.

Emmitt only chuckled, "Don't look at me Rose, I'm on your side."

"Rose! I told you already. I don't use my ability to see what card you are going to play!" Alice's sly smile spread across her tiny face. Rose threw her hands up in the air and stormed down the stairs and out the front door.

"Guess we're going for a run." Emmit smiled. He followed her path out into the garden. Esme sat down on the ottoman in the corner of the room and smiled as Alice snuggled into Jasper's shoulder and sighed contentedly. 'It is so nice to see my family together again, and smiling. I only wish that Edward was here.'

"Alice! Were you really cheating?" Esme asked, smiling.

"Of course not!" She replied, "Rosalie just sucks!" At this, Jasper laughed full and heavy.

Esme was delighted. 'Jasper has been taking this whole thing very hard, maybe now we can relax for awhile'

That thought was too good to be true.

Alice bolted out of Jasper's arms and her eyes got that glazed over look that told she was seeing into the future. "Alice," Jasper whispered, "What do you see." The look on her face could only be described as pure, undiluted terror.

"It's Edward... he... he is going to kill Bella."

They ran as fast as they could.

It was Edward that found her first.

She was lying there, like crack for a vampire. Her porcelain skin soaked and blushing from the cold. Her thin clothes sticking to every curve, tears were running down her cheeks and fresh, hot blood slowly leaking from a cut in her forehead. He smelled the sweetness of her blood and the underlying musk of her desire.

Edward audibly moaned.

"Jacob? Is that you?"

'For your sake, I wish it was.' Edward thought. 'God she is so beautiful. I love her so much.' He didn't want to hurt her, but the monster inside of him was thinking that out here, alone in the woods, was the perfect place to take the object of his desire. In more ways than one.

Edward rushed to her. He lifted her to his chest and looked in her eyes. The monster died a little when he saw those eyes.

Bella gasped in pure joy. "Oh my god! Edward? Really?" Fresh tears filled her eyes. "Is that really you?"

"Yes," he whispered. 'Oh god how I have missed her voice.' She said his name like a tender caress. "I had forgotten how good that felt." He said.

All thoughts of draining Bella dry and burying her in the woods had gone. They were replaced by a warm spreading ache in the center of his chest. One of her fingers reached out and traced the planes of his marble face. "Its really you." She moaned.

Edward trapped Bella's wrist almost violently in his frozen hand and pressed her wrist to his lips. "I love you." He whispered. He kissed her there gently and felt her excited pulse dance beneath his lips.

Edward tensed. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't resist flicking his tongue against her pulse. He groaned and shifted his weight so that she was straddling his lap. He lapped his tongue against the tender skin of her wrist.

"Edward? What are you doing?" She said when he licked her skin again. Her face was contorted in pain from the angle she had her leg. It was obviously broken. He didn't care.

Her face was only inches from his and her blood was so close to his mouth. His eyes darkened to a sickening crimson. 'If it wasn't so dark, I wonder if Bella would scream when she saw my eyes?' He thought just before the monster reared up inside him.

He thrust Bella's head violently to the side. When his teeth found her skin, she screamed.

AN: WOW! This chapter took FOREVER! I know, I know. I'm sorry :(

I have been insanely busy and crazy and you know the rest. Plus, this chapter kicked my ass. I REALLY hope that you liked it. I can't wait to post the next chapter so you can see what happens next!

Review please? Please? PRETTY PLEASE?

I'm sort of desperate.

Thanks!