Thanks to all my reviewers. i really appreciate your thoughts and compliments; its why i have an update so soon. i was on a roll, i guess. but i have to give a warning on this chapter:

WARNING: Cross is very disturbing in this chapter; its not intenional. he's not that evil or sadistic, but he has no idea how what he does could be interpreted as. its a very bad thing, not enough to raise the rating, but enough to warrent a warning. so, be warned this chapter contains some disturbing elements. better safe that sorry.

that being said, i hope you all enjoy.

What the hell is wrong with him?! Cross stared at the child convulsing slightly in the middle of the road. He was clutching his arm to his chest and sobbing as if he would die. People were staring at them. He had never seen one of the seizures the red notebook described; this must be one of them. If he was reacting like this, Cross reasoned that an Akuma must be near.

The boy had been complaining about feeling ill all that morning. He had begged Cross to let him stay at the inn. Naturally he ignored him and dragged him along. He was glad he did; there had been no attacks as far as he could tell and Allen was drawing attention to their position. No Akuma could resist an opportunity to kill an Exorcist. Cross wore his coat proudly, inviting any of the Earl's playthings to come take a chance with him.

They had been walking through another nondescript street when Allen had frozen. "Master!" he hissed through clenched teeth. "Please get me inside!" Cross just looked at him in surprise; he so rarely made requests. Cross had made it clear that none of his childish begging would be indulged.

He dropped to his knees, silent tears spilling down his face. "Please! People are gonna see me!" His glassy eyes had focused on a man leaning against a lamppost. "Oh… God…" His voice was terrified. "What is that? Master, it's hurting me… what is that thing?!"

"What's happening boy?" he asked calmly. He didn't care who saw; it wasn't him embarrassing himself on a crowded street. He did look around though; as if trying to find what was scaring the boy so badly. Where is it? Come on boy; draw out the monster's attention… "What do you see?"

"What do you mean… right there! Can't you see her?!" he had dropped to his hands and knees; wide eyes looked at Cross with a mix of disbelief and pain. "She's right there…" he moaned. "She's crying. She's hurt… why can't you see her?" he cried desperately.

Cross bent and grabbed the boy's chin; he examined the pale face. Either the child was hallucinating or he really was seeing something that no one else could. Cross nearly gasped. The boy's left eye had inverted again. His pupil and iris were little more than white dots floating in a sea of pitch black. He shoved the gasping boy away, letting him hit the ground where he curled around his arm and shrieked. "Be quiet you fool."

It was then that Cross realized how deep the boy's curse ran. He could see it, the soul trapped within the Akuma. From the sound of it, it was hideous. The man at the lamppost turned and smiled at him. "Exorcist…" it hissed. Its face began to distort and it stepped closer.

On the ground, Allen's cries reached a fevered pitch and he arched violently. Shit. Cross kicked him to bring him back to reality. "Idiot!" he snapped as he grabbed him by the back of his collar. "Control yourself…" He dragged the writhing little body with one hand and started to walk out of town; they needed to get away from the civilians. He didn't need to look back; the Akuma would follow.

Allen kept howling all the way to a field just outside the town. Cross threw him down. "Control yourself!" The Akuma was fast approaching; Cross had moved as quickly as he could while dragging Allen's light weight. He tried to put some distance between them, give him some time to control the situation.

Now it was closing on their location and Allen's fit was intensifying. Cross slapped him. "Calm down boy!" His mismatched eyes were wild; he didn't recognize him. He retched in the grass, bringing up what little he had eaten and blood. Cross couldn't figure where it came from; he didn't have any obvious injuries. "Shit." He caught a set of thin wrists and pinned them to the ground; using his own body weight, he held the boy still. "Allen!" he never used his name before and it caught the panting figure's attention. "I need you to calm down. You have to control this."

He heard the sound of tearing flesh in the distance and knew the Akuma had shed its human disguise. There was no more time for this nonsense. Allen was a living Akuma alarm; but other than that he was proving to be completely useless.

"Mana?" the boy croaked. His movements had become sluggish, weak. "Mana… please…" Cross released him in surprise; he touched his forehead. He was feverish, glassy eyed and delirious. Furious at the inconvenience of it all, Cross slammed his boot into the boy's side and sent him skidding across the dirt. He curled into himself and retched again. Cross ignored him and his pitiful cries for his father.

"Exorcist…" the Akuma appeared and hovered like a sick bloated balloon. Cross easily dodged, happy to have something new to take his frustration out on. He let his eyes slide shut as he reached down into himself to find and trigger his Innocence. He always savored that moment; that blessed second, the rush he wanted to stretch out into an eternity. Cross nearly moaned from the sensation; his whole being was teetering on the edge of something incredible, just waiting for the last little nudge that would send him joyously spiraling over.

He wondered if the other Exorcists felt like this; the sheer pleasure of the Innocence as it sent little jolts of electricity through his eager body, the sweet torture right before it activated. As always, it was over to soon and he slid back into reality. It hardly took a second, but it always felt longer.

The heavy weight of his weapon in his hand and the lingering thrum of energy running through him brought a broad grin to his face; he was in his element now. He was going to take his time, really enjoy taking out the monster. He could easily kill it with one blow, but he had neglected his Innocence far too much over the past few months, he needed to indulge. One shot took out one of the Akuma's guns. The second put a gaping hole in its side; it still feebly tried to fight. Cross rolled and ducked its attack; he came up no more than an arm's length away from the monster, pressing the barrel of his beloved Judgment into its pasty flesh. The third shot, he put directly into its ugly little mask of a face.

"God…" he laughed and ran his hand over his neck and face; just needing the contact of skin on skin while he watched the monster evaporate into a dirty cloud of dust. "That was… amazing. Shit." He kissed Judgment for a job well done and dematerialized his anti-akuma weapon; he wished he could keep the rush longer. His whole body still sang with it; he was going to need to hire a girl tonight, maybe two.

"Master?" Allen was sitting up watching him. "You killed it." He looked sick. "How… how did you do that?" He cradled his aching left arm and tried to stand but kept falling, little legs too weak to support his weight. "She was so happy…" a fat tear rolled down his face. "So… happy… how did you do that?"

Cross sighed; the boy was really a good mood killer. "I destroyed the Akuma. I have a weapon… you are a weapon. You can do this too."

"I'm a weapon…" he echoed. "Doesn't it hurt?" he asked timidly, nervously rubbing his hand.

"Not really… a little odd at first, but it gets…" he paused and wondered how best to phrase it. "It's nice… enjoyable." Better than sex… he mentally added. He sat down beside the boy and stared up at the blue sky. "We set them free; it's a good thing. Good things won't hurt… God has charged us to send them back to him and gave us this gift. It doesn't really hurt them either. They scream, but it's not real pain. I don't think they feel the way we feel things. They're not natural; they need to be released."

"Like I set Mana free… right? I can help the other ones go back to God, save them?" he fidgeted and pulled pieces of grass out of the ground. "I can really do that too…?" he scooted closer to Cross. "You'll teach me how?"

"Right… but first you have to learn to control it. You can't do much the way you are now." Cross was still buzzing; he was in an unreasonably good mood and decided now would be a good time to push his apprentice forward. He wasn't sure if he would be this patient later, or ever again; better to deal with him now. "Hey boy, give me your arm." The boy looked at him suspiciously but obeyed. Cross pulled his glove off and unbuttoned his shirt cuff.

"Don't…" he whimpered; Cross ignored him and continued to roll up his sleeve, taking time to explore the red flesh. His skin was warm, soft. Its texture was odd, but not unpleasant. "Master… please, don't." he feebly tried to pull back, but his seizure had left him too weak to do more that softly protest and push at his hand.

"Relax kid…" Cross smiled an expression that was anything but comforting. The little body was exhausted; he wouldn't be able to fight back and Cross was planning on taking advantage of that. He ran his thumb over the deep wound on the boy's hand, tracing it and enjoying the terrified sound he made. "You'll like it. Calm down. You've repressed your Innocence, fought back the urge to activate it this whole time. I know you're hurting by now. This is your body's only defense, your only weapon against the Akuma and their maker… now, don't try to fight it; you'll feel much better…I'm just going to help you." he said soothingly. It was so out of character for him that it sent the boy into a panic.

"Ahh… noo…this is bad; you're not helping me! Ah! You said you wouldn't hurt me…you said!" Allen sniffed. "Please. Please don't do this…" Cross chuckled and continued to rub the wound. The boy made a garbled sound as the sensation overwhelmed him and his head fell back. "Please!" he gasped. "Its weird… stop. Master please stop. I feel weird. I…"

Cross raised an eyebrow at the boy's flushed face and let his thumb linger and press gently at the center of the deep scar. Allen was so embarrassed by how easy it was for the adult to manipulate him; Cross could tell. "Relax. You have to learn how to control your Innocence."

Allen moaned softly and shivered. "I hate you… stop doing this to me." He glared at the man; eyes glazed with what might have been pain, but could just as easily have been pleasure. Cross suspected it was the latter. "Ah God!" he cried, his other hand clawed at the ground for purchase. It was unwanted, but he felt it all the same. "I hate you!"

"You should hate me. Idiot, I can't have you following me around if you're going to react like that every time you meet an Akuma. You have to learn." Cross was actually having a wonderful time; the kid was amusing like this. He was far too sensitive, flushed and trying not to cry out. "Relax; I'm just forcing your Innocence to activate. Remember how this feels; it will help you invoke it later at will."

With that as his only warning, Cross pressed his thumb as deeply into the wound as possible; Allen arched and bit back a scream. The child was almost there; all he had to do was push him a little further. He could feel the sharp edge of the Innocence embedded in the child's flesh; with an almost savage motion he ground it into the surrounding tissue, forcing it deeper and sending the boy over the edge.

Allen shattered.

Cross was pushed back by the force of the transformation. It was violent, but much smoother than his first time in the cemetery; it would become easier with practice. "Hurts!" Allen howled and clutched at the junction of his shoulder. "I hate you!"

There was a flash of gray in the corner of Cross' eye before he was knocked half senseless and across the clearing. The sudden attack had caught him off guard. He hauled himself off the ground, automatically activating his own Innocence in defense. Allen had struck him; the little bastard actually struck him! Cross resolved to make him sorry that he was ever born.

"It hurts; I hate you!" he hollered, stepping to keep himself even with Cross; he was practically stalking the man. "I told you to stop… and you did it anyways! It hurt so much!" He slashed at his face; Cross ducked gracefully under the savage strike. Allen kept screaming at him about things he had done; then about things he hadn't done, disturbing things. He had lost his mind. He would shoot the boy if he had to.

Some dam in the child had burst and from it poured a tidal wave of pent up rage. Cross was just a convenient target for his anger at this point; anger at Cross for touching him, anger at himself for responding, anger at his situation, anger at his father for leaving, anger at his fate and anger at whatever else that had festered in his soul.

It was easy for him to avoid the rest of the upset boy's wild attacks. His weapon was incredibly powerful, almost frighteningly so, but he was untrained, acting only on pain and anger. Cross saw his eyes and realized the boy was not really in control of his actions; he was scared of what he was doing. He didn't know where that reserve of energy came from but it couldn't last much longer; he just needed to wait for him to tire himself out. The razor sharp fingers finally faltered and dropped; the boy hit the ground with it.

Cross approached cautiously, Innocence still thrumming dangerously through his veins and keeping him ready to counter any attack. The boy was babbling incoherently, too far gone to move.

"Help me." he wheezed and grabbed at Cross' boot with his trembling human hand. "Master, please… help me. What do I do?" he flexed his altered fingers slightly. "It hurts. How do I make it go back?"

"Try. Think about how it felt before this." Cross went off of alarm mode, his weapon disappearing, and settled on the ground by the boys' head. "Relax and remember what your arm felt like. Concentrate and pull it back." Cross surprised them both when he touched the boy's hair and soothingly carded his fingers through the soft brown strands. "Don't panic, Allen. You're doing so well." He gently encouraged him and hated how soft it sounded. "You can do this. Breath deep and pull it back…"

The boy responded eagerly to the few words of kindness, closing his eyes and forcing himself to relax. Cross was stunned at how the child could go so quickly from hating him enough to attack to trusting him so implicitly. It took several tries and left the boy panting, but he finally managed to reform his arm.

There was a soft thud against his hip as Allen buried his head there and wrapped his arms around his waist. Cross was a little surprised by the action; he didn't really want the boy with his teary eyes and runny nose touching him. But he frowned and let him stay. Carefully he moved his arm; his fingers twitched as if in protest as he let his hand settle on the boy's back. He rubbed the tense muscles. Cross was disgusted with himself.

"Thank you, Master. Please… please don't ever do that to me again."

A sudden wave of true and utter disgust washed over him as what he had just done fully sunk in. He had forced the invocation; it was just Innocence but still, he had forced the boy to do something he didn't want to do, made him experience something he didn't want or wasn't ready for. His stomach turned; there was a kind of intimacy in invocation and he forced him.

Cross knew he was an utterly perverse and depraved soul, he was just fine with that, he enjoyed it; but there were levels that even he wouldn't touch, this felt like a new low. Never children, he didn't particularly care for them or have any noble reasons behind it but he would never, never touch one. Caught up in the enjoyment of his Innocence, he forgot just how close the sensations were to something else; and he had forced it on Allen.

Still, even after that violation, Allen clung to him; trusting him. Cross felt dirty. He took a deep breath and forced the feeling back. A compassionate man would feel guilty; and Cross was not a compassionate man. He was a General of the Black Order; he needed to act like one. He let the boy stay for a few more minutes, just enough time for him to stop hiccupping. He brushed the little body off and stood.

"Up." he nudged him with the toe of his boot. "We're going." Allen numbly obeyed. Cross frowned at him. "Brat." He backhanded him back to the ground. When he stood, he slapped him and split his lip. "You." another slap. "Do Not." he struck him again. "Ever." He blackened the boy's eye. "Ever." He grabbed him by the front of his shirt with one hand and lifted him off the ground. "Strike Me!" With one more backhand he dropped him back into the dirt.

Allen stood, his face carefully composed. "I won't do it again, Master." He paused to spit the blood from his mouth. "I will learn control." He looked Cross straight in the eye; he gaze was fiercely determined. He wasn't going to let his Master win; he wasn't going to quit or breakdown. The pathetic wretch from the graveyard was gone. Allen walked silently behind Cross as they returned to the town.

"I am created by my past" Allen said softly to no one. "I will not be controlled by it…" he looked up at the blue sky. "The past can't control me, because it's already gone and I'll only move forward." Cross could feel him glaring daggers at his back. "Even this will pass… I'll learn and then I'll make it all up to you Mana." His voice was steady, calm. Cross could probably beat him within an inch of his life; but he would keep going. "I'm gonna save them… no matter what, I'll save them."

Cross smiled to himself; if he lived through his training, Allen Walker was going to make a fine Exorcist.