Sorry for the delay! This chapter ended up quite long though, so I hope you enjoy that!

Chapter 4

It wasn't typical that Luke be greeted upon entering the Falcon with an "Oh, fuck," but then again it wasn't totally atypical, either. But what was atypical was finding the ship's captain groaning Oh fuck! not from underneath some panels or deep in a thicket of wiring but instead seated in the booth positively surrounded by datapads, empty kaffe mugs littered about, gnawing on a stylus. "Shit, kid, what time is it," Han mumbled, raking a hand through his hair almost violently and only glancing up briefly.

"Believe it or not, it's later than we said. Which was actually intentional, but because I assumed Leia would be working late, not you," Luke pointed out, balancing a tray awkwardly as he shuffled under its weight up into the lounge. "I brought dinner though – three meals from mess and then a bunch you can hold as leftovers. Can you make some room for me to put it all down?"

"What? Oh – sure, sure– yeah, let me just – thank you, hey, thanks. Gotta get a proper galley in here one of these… lemme just…" Han scrunched up his face and rubbed his eyes with his fists, then started shuffling his things into a messy stack and dumping them onto the dejarik table. "Glad you're here. F'real. Must've lost track of the…"

"What are you working on? And where is Leia?"

"I'm – they got me headin' this raid on the Coruscant mission, then if that weren't a bitch enough, one of my guys is injured, concussion out drinking, so I gotta reorganize the whole unit breakdowns… fuckin' mess, all this paperwork, I don't do this shit..."

"And yet, here you are," Luke pointed out, setting out dinner on the table. "Doing this shit."

"Yeah, well. I don't like it."

"Face it, Han. You're practically reformed. Where did you say Leia is at?"

"Where do you think? Still working. Bet someone called in a last minute super urgent super emergency meeting that she couldn't say no to. Her damn bleeding heart. You know how she is. Want me to comm her?"

"Nah, I'm sure it's important."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure it's important to her," Luke clarified, grinning a little. "Wait – what about Chewie?"

"Oh, you'll love this, get a load of this – meetings."

"Chewie – is in meetings?" Luke echoed skeptically.

"Oh yeah – Her Highness and I got into it the other day about what the Rebellion was doing about the situation on Kashyyyk?"

"What is the Rebellion doing about the situation on Kashyyyk?"

"Jack shit, that's what. We really went at it, wasn't pretty – anyway, she says she agrees with me now, so you know, to make it right she sets up all this meetings between some high-ranking officials and Chewie and then the little Wookiee rebel cell Kashyyyk's got. All hours, 'cause of the time difference. Which is supposed to be what I wanted, but feels a helluva lot like a punishment, I'll tell you that. Chewie. Meetings. I don't envy him."

"I'm sure she's just trying to help," Luke said automatically, but Han snorted.

"Really? Are you sure? You're sure she's got no other motivations, none."

"I take it back," Luke allowed. "Anyway – there should be leftovers enough for both of them. What's the thing about hot food and waiting, right? That you don't have to?"

"Thanks, kid, I'm starving," Han grunted, sliding into the booth and digging in immediately. "Chewie'll turn up here sooner or later. Your sister too."

Luke widened his eyes and smiled. "I heard that she's living here now full-time. Is that true?"

"Where'd you hear a thing like that," Han drawled, but his eyes were dancing.

"Well for one thing, her pins are all over the place."

"Be glad it's just her pins."

"It's so funny," Luke said as he began to eat. "On the one hand, it's been a long time coming – like the longest time, actually. But on the other hand, it's still easy to forget. I keep expecting to run into you guys shouting at each other."

"Still plenty of shouting. Just more variety with the cause."

"Sure."

"But hey – think it feels fast to you? Try losing six months in the middle, huh?" Han pointed out. "Not that I mind fast – waited around for her long enough."

"Well, but that's the thing," Luke said, considering his friend. "I didn't know."

Han grunted and frowned, confused. Confused and maybe – was that a little taken aback? Luke had never mastered the skill of reading into the micro-nuances of Han's expressions. So many degrees of disgruntled and irked. So on the one hand, Luke thought maybe Han looked a little – hurt. But on the other hand, maybe he was just projecting how he might feel, having heard his – Aunt Beru had always said lady friend – princess-fighter-sparring-partner-lady-friend hadn't told anyone they'd gotten together. He wasn't Han.

"She didn't say anything. After – when we reunited, on the Falcon, and then in the ensuing months. I was training for a long stretch of time, to be fair, but… nothing."

Han's expression flickered. "That so." Another imperceptible change in emotion. Han and Leia deserved each other – Leia was simultaneously the most communicative and the least understandable person he'd ever met. So emotionally open, just not emotionally transparent. Maybe when the two of them talked, they saw some kind of closed captioning appear that no one else could see?

(Although he could see the closed captions, he knew, if he really needed to. Like, in case of emergencies. In case of emergencies he could see the closed captions: feeling Han's pain, forcing Leia to hear him. But that was – emergencies only, not something he would just turn on willy-nilly.

Did Leia not know how to turn off that power? Was that why she was so perceptive, so persuasive? Leia who was his sister – was that the Force flowing through her, making Han legible?)

"I found out after the rescue, actually. That being said, before that, she was really – I mean, she didn't show it precisely, on the outside. You know how she is. She was very determined about things. She never gave up on you, not once – even when others were sure they might be looking for a body, she was certain we would get you back. But she did seem hollowed out."

"Why're you telling me this?"

"My point being – I thought she was just shaken up because she felt guilty, like maybe you'd fought right beforehand? And then I saw you two kiss, on the skiff after Jabba's, and at first I was so mad at her – for not telling me, not telling anyone?"

"Chewie and Lando knew."

"Not telling me then – but when I confronted her about it? Her whole thing was – she said it was like a – a soap bubble, she said. And she felt that by speaking about it, she'd jinx it. Burst it. That it was really special to her and she didn't want to spoil it by talking about it. But you know, way more articulate."

Luke could see, very very faintly, Han's slight twitch of a grin, even as he mumbled as if so unmoved, "Got a point there?"

"I guess it got lost in the telling."

"You're a real romantic, huh farmboy? You like this kinda thing."

"Maybe I am, but I don't know anyone who wouldn't smile a little over a big reveal of the hero saving the damsel and revealing herself as, Someone who loves him."

"I'm the damsel in this picture?"

"I guess you are. You have to admit it's something like a fairytale in retrospect."

"Yeah, buried alive in a tomb of stone was all romance."

"Didn't she declare her love right in front of a room full of Imperials?"

Han snorted. "She tell you what I said back?"

"No… what did you say back?"

"I'll tell you this – not so romantic." Han shook his head, somewhere between a smirk and a scowl. "It's all surreal, ain't it? Lookin' back? Tell you what: you know what to me's the craziest part? The most fairytale?"

"The Falcon staying even partly intact through all this?"

"Fuck off. No. Better."

"Tell me," Luke said, unable to hide his grin – he missed this, he missed his friend, having friends, but also still this friend in particular, feeling on the inside with this friend, not on the outside of the Han and Leia knot. He loved that his friends were happy, it was just – well, a part of him was still that Tatooine farmboy, assumed that once two people found each other, that'd be it, they'd just plant roots and settle down and start a private private life some place new – but that was crazy, they were Han and Leia.

"The fact that Darth's big idea was to get to ya through me and Leia." As he said it, Han laughed once, loud, the way he did rarely – a big, smirking grin alight on his face.

Luke laughed too, surprised. That was the best part? The craziest? "What do you mean?"

"Like – that he tried to make us hurt to get to you. Me – some nobody. Love the fact of Papa Darth keepin' tabs on your buddies, who you're hangin' out with – I know it's serious and damn if that scan grid didn't hurt like hell, worst of my life but…" Han laughed again, hard, his eyes dancing, and Luke laughed again, shocked. "Call me crazy, but the thought of that guy with his…" He shook his head, then did a real quick heavy breathing impression: "Hnnnn… which of the rebel scum…. Hnnn… should I invite to my son's…. Hnnn… birthday party… ha!"

"Han!" Luke gasped, shocked and laughing in spite of himself, eyes wide. "They tortured you!"

"Yeah, well, gotta be able to laugh about it, right?" Han declared theatrically, kicking back. Mostly an act, Luke knew – he knew from Leia how badly he'd been injured, could guess at the emotional trauma that accompanied the physical scars. "C'mon. Lurin' you in not with money or blackmail but the power of friendship? That's some spectacularly corny shit."

"Han!" Luke choked out, laughing harder and struggling for breath. "You're…! That's so…!"

"Power of friendship. No wonder he was all mush under that damn suit. Sick sappy bastard."

"Mush... corny... Papa Vader…" Luke managed between gasps, practically tearing up.

"Don't tell your sister I said any of that," Han demanded, pointing at Luke fiercely. "That kinda talk's not for her. She doesn't go for that."

"I won't, I won't…" Luke promised, slowly getting his breathing under control.

"I'm serious – not a word."

"Both irreverent but I will say she does have you wrapped around her finger––"

"'Scuse me?"

"Not any more so rather than the rest of us – the whole galaxy has her around their finger, it's just––"

"Nah, you're wrong. The whole galaxy has Leia wrapped around them," Han observed, shaking his head. "Helluva woman, your sister. Quite the handful. Not a lot of men could handle her."

"You're holding up okay?" Luke teased, finally getting his breath under control. "How old are you now?"

"Can it, junior. You may have noticed I haven't brought up a certain kiss shared between a set of twins. You're welcome for that – can change real fast."

Luke grimaced. "Alright, alright. Not a word on however old you are."

"I gotta ask though – how's it feel? I mean… once a crush, now a twin..."

Luke shook his head a little. "I don't know. Not quite like that."

"You gonna give me what she said? That whole I've always known?"

"I don't know. I don't think so." How to explain – that finding out he was Leia's brother was something like a relief, because it determined definitively who they were to each other. He knew he had these loving feelings for her, these wondrous, shocked feelings of being amazed by her, of thinking she was otherworldly – not sexual though, never sexual – and it was complicated and confusing, how to be her friend like that, how to have such a serious affection for her. After his family was lost he clung fast to anyone who could be family: first Ben Kenobi, for a second, then her and Han. Like he loved with his whole heart and in a world where people were falling away so fast the entire contents of his heart were directed at such a small amount of people. Two people. As a brother he could do that. He could love Leia deeply without it being suspect. Without people accusing it of being sexual.

Because one thing he knew was that it wasn't sexual. Probably the most confusing part, actually, how non-sexual it had been once. If he let people think he had a crush on her it was because he sort of thought, maybe this is what a crush is: when you think someone is beautiful and intelligent and you want to be around them all the time and they're the opposite gender of you, all those factors add up to produce a crush. Like Leia was objectively his perfect girl – a composite of parts that should have added up to crush or romance and instead added up to affection. Being her brother made that easy to understand. He felt that way because he was her brother. Because he'd always known he was her brother. That's why he wasn't attracted to Leia against all odds. Because he was her brother.

(And he especially used to especially appreciate when his sister's boyfriend wore his tight bloodstripes because they were indicators of his bravery and he was just so proud to have such a brave pal.)

"Hey. You'll find a girl you aren't related to one of these days, huh?" Han promised, giving him a lazy grin.

Luke swallowed and nodded. "I'd like to think I'll find someone. Someday." He wished Leia were here. She'd be able to read him. She'd pick up on the shift from a girl to someone and gently nudge him into a conversation he didn't know how to have with himself.

"Plenty of people in the galaxy," Han declared casually, maybe too casual, nodding firmly and reaching for his comm. "Alright, it's been long enough. Let's see where Leia's at, huh?"

A girl to plenty of people. Maybe Han was more perceptive than he gave him credit for.

Maybe he was really perceptive – had the Force, even – or else a sixth sense for princesses, because just as he grabbed the thing, there was the banging of tiny boots storming up the ship's ramp and then a huffy, tired Leia, arms crossed, braids foofy with the mess of having tugged at it all day, annoyed and exhausted – only to brighten considerably when she saw the two of them sitting with dinner.

"Are you happy to see us, or to see food?" Luke teased, rising to embrace her.

"No reason a girl can't appreciate both. I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting. No, scratch that – I'm so sorry other people have kept me such that you've been kept waiting. I have done nothing wrong – hi, hello, it's good to see you," she said kindly, kissing Luke's cheek as they hugged.

"Nothing for me?" That was Han, leaning back with his hands clasped behind his head and smirking at her.

"Patience, flyboy," she teased, releasing Luke, grabbing a roll and stuffing a hunk of it into her mouth before tossing her arms around Han's neck and kissing his cheek, grinning.

"Cute," Han said, rolling his eyes and pulling her onto his lap as she shrieked.

She swallowed, grinning. "I'm multitasking." And kissed him fully, before clapping her hands together and taking in the table. "I'm glad you two didn't wait. That wasn't a dig. I mean it. I'm starving."

Luke watched them, not sitting back down, smiling a little: Han's arms around her waist as she settled into his lap, Han then rubbing her shoulders, her hungrily digging in and beginning to rant about her day. They were so unbelievably different. They fit so well together. They'd found each other by accident – someday, could he find someone by accident? Could he be a Jedi and find someone by accident, would the Force let him?

(It would have to, because he was going to let Leia.)

"But what about you, Luke? How was your day?"

"What about my day?" Han was grumbling in her ear.

"You have all night to tell me all about your day."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes – and I promise I will ensure your stress is alleviated."

"Will you now?"

"Privately. Tell me Luke. Are you terribly busy as well?"

He knew from seeing them in public that they were only like this is private: that lap-sitting and back-rubbing and whispering and innuendo were not part of how they carried on publicly mostly, he suspected, because of Leia's preferences, though Han wasn't an especially public person either, he knew. And that felt good: being part of their private, being part of the private them. The three of them, a family.

"Not that busy," Luke admitted. "I was supposed to have a hearing, about my dereliction of duty – about going AWOL, getting deliberately captured. But then it became very clear that they were in over their head, with the conversation about the Force…"

"Oh, I heard about this," Leia interrupted, nodding vigorously. "I got a memo, about an upcoming briefing…?"

"Right, yes, so – we've rescheduled the hearing so that I and hopefully some historians we can extricate from Coruscant can do a comprehensive briefing about the Jedi and the Sith."

Leia nodded slowly. "And have you told them…"

"No. I haven't told them about Anakin being Vader. Per your request." Luke cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I will tell them that he was redeemed. But I won't tell them that he was our father."

Leia looked away, returning to her dinner. "Good. I think that's for the best. For now. Good. Especially – ah. Especially when there's such conflicting information out there about the nature of the Jedi. Making it difficult for people to. To understand."

"We did make a trade…" Luke prodded gently, and Leia groaned.

"What trade?" Han demanded, frowning.

"Do we have to do this now? I had such a long day…" Leia murmured.

"Just a little bit. Just the fun stuff. I promise," Luke insisted.

"Alright, alright," Leia sighed, standing up. "What do you need me to do?"

"Just come on over here," Luke said warmly, trying to get a smile out of her. "I promise, I'll make it fun tonight. Han, do you still have that blast helmet?"

"What trade?" Han asked again, sour, cleaning up dinner. "And yeah, it's over there."

"I promised Luke I'd participate in some exercises if he deferred to my wishes with regards to publicizing our paternity," Leia said, retrieving the helmet and frowning again. "It wasn't the best compromise I've ever reached."

"But we reached it," Luke pointed out eagerly, and he squeezed her shoulder. "And I'm really glad about that."

"Uh-huh…" Leia said, fiddling with her hair. "Alright, Skywalker. What do you have for me?"

"I always forget you weren't here for this – it was on our way to pick you up," Luke said, smiling at her as warmly as possible. "It was a little exercise Obi-Wan had me do, right here on the Falcon."

"No meditation today?" she asked skeptically, affixing the helmet onto her head.

"No. Not to start. I know you have a lot on your mind."

"Thank you," Leia said.

Luke procured the simulator, then handed Leia a saber. She stared at him. "Take it," he urged. "Just for some practice. You'll like it, I promise."

Leia peered at it for a moment, skeptical, then carefully activated the saber. "It's blue," she said, taken aback. "I thought yours…?"

"Mine is green," Luke assured her, revealing another saber on his belt. "That one. Ah. This one is just a spare. From Obi-wan," Luke managed. "His." A little white lie – surely if Leia knew it had been Anakin's, she would be disgusted – but an unreasonable disgust, really, and it was helpful to have an extra to practice…

"Hm," Leia said. She made a few elegant, careful strokes with the saber, considering it. "I like the sound," she noted impassively. "It sounds the way doing itself sounds – the way it sounds to enact one's will. That hum of action."

"I like the sound too," Luke said, smiling a little. "Here, let's get your stance situated…"

(Another thing, too, he liked about being Leia's brother. Han and her were so busy, even Chewie was so busy, with all they had to do next. And Luke? This big gaping shapeless adventure, of rebuilding the Jedi Order – something he had to undertake, allegedly, alone. Leia had the Force, he wasn't alone. Leia could give shape to anything, she could do the impossible. She turned the vague, confusing, shapeless mass of the future into something. He could do anything with her. Even if she didn't get on board completely, just knowing that there was someone else, who had the Force, who would hypothetically be invested in the reestablishment of the Jedi or at least in discovering more about them – that made the biggest difference. He'd felt so apart, recently – even at Jabba's, it was like he suddenly was speaking a different language, all formal, all dressed in black. Where did those impulses come from, to not use contractions, to stand so sturdy and confident and save the day? It made him feel good, to be able to protect his friends, but it also made him feel lonely. Especially when his friends were now living together, working together. Whereas he was being called forward in hearings…

He'd worried their paths were diverging, that he'd be all alone again, but they were a family. The Force had brought the three of them together, wanted them to rely on one another. If she and Han married – when, really, surely it was a when even if they'd both deny it – then they'd really be one. They wouldn't diverge too far. Leia was strong-willed and confident and she would do with her life what she wanted, but the Force was strong in her, and they wouldn't diverge too far.)

"With the shield down?" Leia echoed, taken aback, making a few more elegant strokes with the lightsaber she didn't realize had once been their father's.

"Yep, so what's going to happen is I'm going to set up the sim – and then what you're going to do is use your feelings – the Force – to deflect the little blasts."

"Use my feelings."

"Use your instincts, then, if that makes more sense to you. Feel inside yourself, is what I mean. Concentrate, reach out, and block the blasts."

"Without being able to see."

"Without being able to see," Luke repeated affirmatively.

"And you're able to do this?" she asked skeptically.

"I am. And you are, too, I know it. Trust me," Luke assured her, setting off the sim. "Shield down…"

Leia nodded and did so, igniting the saber again.

"Good, Leia. Now just… let down your mental shields… reach out..."

At first, too, it seemed he was right: although she was tentative at first, soon Leia was confidently deflecting, her movements round and almost dancer-like, but still like a viper, a looping, effective, elegant snake.

Luke clapped, ecstatic. "Fantastic, Leia, that's wonderful! Keep it up, don't put your guard back up, just stay open..."

And then there was Han, having re-entered without a word, looking on, impressed but skeptical. "She's got it memorized," Han noted idly.

"What?" Luke said, snapping his gaze away from Leia's swirling movements for a second.

"The pattern of the sim. She's got it memorized," Han repeated, nodding. "S'real clever, don't get me wrong – very impressive. But it's memorized."

"No it's not––" Luke began defensively, but he cringed as Han swiftly chucked a bolt at Leia – it slammed against her and she yelped, knocking up the shield.

"Han Solo!" she exclaimed, turning off the sim and saber in turn and then lifting off the helmet.

"See what I mean?" Han said. "I'm not saying she doesn't have the Force or whatever. Just not what makes her good at that. Bet she doesn't even know she's doing it."

"Did you memorize the pattern of the sim's shots?" Luke asked.

Leia blinked at him. "I don't know. Maybe? I probably internalized it. Why?"

"That's not – that's not the point of the exercise," Luke managed, sighing.

"I used my senses," Leia said, frowning. "I let the rest of my senses other than sight be heightened, and used the information they collected to allow me to deflect the blasts."

"But did you let go? To the Force?"

"I don't really know what that means. I heightened my awareness – I made sure I was feeling everything..."

"You're sort of supposed to – surrender your awareness. Give yourself over," Luke explained awkwardly, struggling for the right words.

"Well," Leia practically sniffed. "I'm not exactly the type to surrender my awareness. Especially not with times being what they are."

"That's sort of the point," Luke continued. "That's why it's difficult."

"Well, pardon me," Leia snapped, frowning. "I find it very difficult to remain aware at all times, but apparently that's cheating."

"Oh boy," Han muttered, grimacing, and Leia glared at him.

"Please spare us your commentary, flyboy," she snapped.

"Nah, I think I'll comment as much as I damn please, sweetheart," he said, but it was just teasing, his smile at her lazy and crooked and calming her down.

"It's not cheating," Luke insisted. "And I'm sure your ability to be so aware is a kind of use of the Force. It's just not the use I wanted to focus on."

"The giving yourself over use?"

"It's the fundamental skill. The baseline."

"Letting go isn't exactly my strong suit," Leia began, and then she whipped around and pointed at Han just as he opened his mouth, snapping, "Don't you say a word, laser brain, not a word." He gave her a who me? look, raising his hands innocently.

"That's why you'll train," Luke said, pulling Leia's attention back to him. "It isn't supposed to come easily. That's why we'll practice, a little bit each night or so."

She looked unconvinced. "I don't know, Luke. I don't think – maybe I'm not as 'strong,' or what have you…"

"We're twins. That's just sexist," Luke teased, but her expression remained cross and tired.

"I made a deal and I intend to uphold my side of it," she said warily. "But that's all for now, Luke. That's all I can promise."

"You liked the saber, though," Luke pointed out. "Didn't you? You really took to it."

"It's a very – elegant weapon," she agreed slowly, looking at the handle in her hand.

"You looked good using it," Han offered, and though she shot him another glare, her expression softened. At first Luke had to wonder, did Han have to make everything sexual? But he could see, now, the way his off-kilter commentary relaxed Leia, brought her back from the brink of frustration or anger or fear. It wasn't that that was as deep as his thoughts on the matter went – it was that he knew that was the best way to help Leia in the moment, what his own opinions were aside.

"Weren't the Jedi celibate?" she murmured, turning the handle over in her hands.

"Not anymore, I don't think," Luke assured her. "Not under my rules, anyway."

"That's a shame," she quipped, eyes twinkling. "I've got this terribly clingy lover I've been longing to let down easy."

"Clingy!" Han exclaimed, mock-aghast. "Clingy!"

"Can you imagine?" Leia continued, smiling a little. "I'm so sorry, I can't see you anymore – I've got to join an ancient order."

"I think that's why they started young," Luke offered, smiling back and taking the saber from her after she'd held it out to him. "Let's call it a night, okay? I'll see you guys tomorrow."

(That, too, still surreal – how many nights had he walked back from the Falcon with Leia? Or at least made the motions to and pretended to be surprised every time she stayed behind…)

"Take it easy, kid," Han said, raising a hand and nodding. "Thanks for the food."

"Good night, Luke," Leia said, embracing him warmly and kissing his cheek. "It was good to see you. You have to understand – all of this, it's still very – ah, new to me. It carries – emotional weight. You must understand."

"I understand," Luke assured her, squeezing her shoulder. "Thanks for keeping an open mind." When she opened her mouth, brow furrowing, he amended, "A somewhat open mind. A deal-honoring mind, how about."

"That sounds about right," she allowed. "Thank you for being patient."

Luke thought about the massive stretch of future before the three of them, his shapeless one, its emptiness, its limitless possibility. He gave another small smile. "These days, I've got nothing but time."

#

Fun fact: the one thing I wanted to include in this chapter but couldn't make fit was Han finding out that Luke's hand isn't a real hand. I guess I'll save that for a later day…