Ianto was still lost.
He was beginning to think of himself as one of J. M. Barrie's lost boys. He was lost in time and unlikely ever to grow up, or at least to grow any older. Jack was the Peter Pan of Torchwood, they didn't need another. Ianto wanted to be rescued.
He watched as the hub came back into focus. This must be a time from when he had first been recruited for there was Suzie. It made Ianto jump a little to see a dead person back in the hub and he felt a little sick from knowing what she would eventually do.
But today she was happy. She was flirting with both Jack and Owen and joking with them all.
TW
Ianto was completing paperwork as Jack came and placed more on his desk.
'Thanks Ianto' he said airily dumping the work on the other man.
'Do you never do your own paperwork Jack?' asked Suzie thinking to defend the newcomer.
'Nope...not when I can have a gorgeous Welshman do it for me' said Jack enjoying the blush that crept over Ianto's features.
Jack wandered back to his office. Ianto hunched over his work trying to avoid too much interaction with his colleagues. He still wasn't confident of his role in this work place and needed to remain as unobtrusive as possible for now.
'Owen do you have the results on that autopsy yet for me to enter into my programme?' asked Toshiko engrossed in the file she was updating on her computer.
'Yeah...I'll fetch it in a minute' Owen continued to speak low to Suzie in a conversation that was making her giggle and blush, eventually she pushed him away whilst trying not to look at Toshiko.
Jack came out of his office and strode across the floor, coat tails flapping behind him.
'I'm off to save the world people' he announced flouncing out of the main door.
'Bloody hell...he thinks he's the caped crusader' sniggered Owen and Suzie laughed outright whilst Ianto and Toshiko looked down to hide small smiles at the expense of their boss.
TW
Ianto laughed as he remembered the scene before him. Jack did sometimes look like he was wearing a super hero cape in that coat. But Ianto had grown to love that coat and he felt his heart contract slightly as the thought of never touching it again.
TWTWTW
Ianto found himself looking down on the med lab. There was just himself and Owen, he was helping the Doctor with clean up after yet another alien autopsy. He was mopping blood and other substances he did not wish to think about from the floor whilst Owen documented his findings.
TW
'Right teaboy...we are all done' announced Owen.
Ianto looked around and smiled at him.
'Ianto...you make coffee and I'll finish the cleaning' offered Owen.
Ianto nodded and left for his kitchen. Owen joined him ten minutes later and they sat companionably together on the battered sofa.
'Haven't you got somewhere more exciting to be Owen?' asked Ianto surprised the medic had not rushed off as usual.
'Nah' said Owen 'drinking and shagging around is no life for a respectable doctor'
Ianto laughed.
'Have you ever been a respectable doctor Owen?' he asked.
Owen closed his eyes with momentary pain.
'Yeah...once upon a time...in another life' he said.
Ianto thought for a moment. Jack had told him that Owen had lost someone he cared about when they were dealing with the aftermath of Lisa. Maybe Owen had been very different then. Maybe the Owen they all saw, the damaged, cold and shallow Owen was not who he really was deep down. This was Torchwood...they all hid themselves.
He looked over at the moody medic and allowed a small encouraging smile to play over his lips.
'We've all loved and lost Ianto...you don't have a monopoly on grief' sniped Owen.
'I never thought I did' whispered Ianto sadly.
Owen looked at him.
'No...sorry' he said.
The two continued to sit and drink their coffee.
'Did you love Jack?' asked Owen.
Ianto considered whether he wanted to share this information, but Owen rarely asked or offered to share and it would be a pity to reject anything he did offer.
'I'm not sure...thought I did...but it's hard to keep those emotions running when the person they are aimed at hurts you' he admitted.
'Will you go back to him when he returns?' asked Owen.
'Still don't know...not sure he will return' answered Ianto.
'He will...for us...for you' said Owen in a moment of rare honesty.
Ianto looked at him hope shining in his eyes. Owen felt a pang of fear for the young man before him. God knows he enjoyed riling Ianto and the two of them were always sparring but he wouldn't wish more hurt on the damaged young man.
'Ianto...when he does return...and you start shagging him again...make him work for it...give him hell first' he suggested.
Ianto grinned at the concern shown by the doctor.
'Ok' he agreed.
TW
Ianto smiled remembering the scene. Owen rarely showed concern for anybody but they had grown closer whilst Jack had been away, had grown to appreciate each other's areas of expertise. They still sniped at each other, still warred for the upper hand but there was less aggression behind the words now.
Ianto wanted to go home. He missed his friends, he even missed Owen. He stifled a sob thinking that he might never be able to talk to them again, would only get to watch them endlessly.
A new scene emerged.
TW
The team were celebrating the end of a week long fight to discover and disarm a Lamen warrior. They had chased it all over Cardiff and the surrounding area as it hunted. At least it only hunted animals not humans. But it left marks which confused and worried police forces and it couldn't be allowed to continue raising suspicions.
When finally cornered it had agreed peacefully to leave but the intervening week had been hectic and chaotic. Jack had insisted they celebrate the successful conclusion of the mission with a few drinks and a pizza.
Elizabeth lazed seductively in one of the easy chairs in the conference room laughing at something Jack had said and leaning in unnecessarily close to whisper to him. Lydia was itching to get back to her med lab and run more diagnostic tests on the blood the Lamen warrior had freely given. She wanted to categorise the species in her own special way.
'I'm off to the lab Ianto...is that ok?' she asked.
'Of course...but you really should get off home soon...get some rest whilst you can' he suggested.
'Yeah..I know...just want to complete a couple of tests and I'll leave the rest for tomorrow...promise' she replied almost running in her eagerness to analyse.
Ianto smiled at her enthusiasm and began to clear away some of the rubbish and crockery.
'Right... well I'm off to share myself with the ladies of Cardiff' announced Ivan 'you coming Beth?' he asked.
'No...I'm ok here' she replied not even bothering to look up at her teammate.
Ivan looked over at Ianto a little worried at watching his teammate flirt with the boss in front of his partner. But Ianto merely looked back at him calmly and told him to have a good night and followed him out of the room to the kitchen.
'Doesn't it bother you Ianto?' Ivan asked the older man as they left together.
Ianto looked at the concerned young man before him.
'No' he answered quietly.
'Why not?....she's all over him...practically sitting in his lap...I've tried to tell her it's not fair but she won't listen' Ivan said, he liked Ianto and did not like to think of him being upset.
'She'll get bored eventually and find someone else' said Ianto mildly.
'But don't you want to mark and claim what belongs to you?' asked Ivan genuinely not understanding why Ianto could put up with her behaviour.
'If I had to do that Ivan...if I had to claim Jack.. then he wouldn't really be mine...he belongs to me because he chooses to belong...I don't own him...I wouldn't want to..it's far more precious to be given someone's heart than it would be to write your name on it' said Ianto wisely.
'Whoa! I can't wait to be as old and wise as you old man' laughed Ivan as he hugged Ianto briefly.
'Enjoy your youth...what we gain in wisdom we lose in energy as we get older' laughed Ianto in response.
Jack and Elizabeth walked towards the kitchen as Ivan left. Beth was clinging to Jack's arm and Ianto could see a 'save me' look on Jack's face. He smiled to himself, your own fault for flirting Harkness he thought.
'Ianto...tell Jack it's ok to come out for a drink' demanded Beth.
'It's ok to go out for a drink Jack' smiled Ianto looking over at them both.
'I'm not coming Beth' said Jack.
'But Ianto says it's ok...you should be with younger people...Ianto understands' she insisted.
Jack looked at her earnestly and with determination to make her accept.
'Yes Ianto does understand...I am always with younger people Beth...I want to be here...go home' he said.
She pouted and flounced out of the hub, hurrying after Ivan now that better prospects had been denied to her. Ianto smiled at Jack.
'It's your own fault...you flirt...she thinks you mean it...you never learn' he said.
Jack approached his lover and wrapped his hands about his waist.
'I know...but I like flirting...I'm sorry...I'll try to stop' said Jack.
'Don't..' said Ianto 'I don't care if you flirt...but take care that those you flirt with know that's all it is...for their sake..not mine' he warned.
'It's all it ever is...it's all it's been for a very long time now' said Jack snuggling up to his partner.
'Ok Harkness what do you want?...you always want something when you start being this soppy'
'Well...I was thinking...it's been a while since we played naked hide and seek' said Jack.
'Jack...I'm fifty two years old...do you really want to see an old man running naked around the hub?' objected Ianto.
'I won't see an old man Ianto...I'll see you' answered Jack earnestly.
Ianto melted when he heard the truthful tone of those words and grinning he began to undress.
'You count first' he said running off and stripping as he went.
TWTWTW
Ianto laughed. Jack's desire to play childish games was in direct opposition to his chronological age.
He wasn't sure he would ever get used to seeing himself so much older than he was. But it was still him, he still recognised all his own little mannerisms.
His heart sang every time he saw himself older and still with Jack. He yearned for stability in his life and Torchwood had robbed him of it. Torchwood took Lisa and took his security. He had expected to stay with Lisa forever, build a life, have a family and above all be normal. It was what he wanted more than anything.
Then he found Jack. Jack could never give him a family or normality and Ianto had supposed he would not give him security and love either. He had not expected or even wanted those things with Jack when they first started their relationship.
When Jack returned things had been different. Jack had made it obvious he wanted more, wanted them to be together properly. But love had not been mentioned, normality was not possible and forever was not a word to be used by Torchwood operatives involved with an immortal.
Ianto sighed. Would he ever return to Jack and talk to him about their relationship?
TWTWTW
Jack emerged from his office.
'Ok people...go home...get some rest...' he ordered.
The team looked up reluctantly. Nobody wanted to go home whilst Ianto was still missing but they were not actually achieving anything.
Owen and Toshiko began to pack away and Toshiko set her programme to continue running and to alert her at home to any possible pattern of time anomalies that might suggest a way of following Ianto.
They trudged out of the hub tired and dejected because they were not making any progress. Gwen dawdled to talk to Jack.
'I can stay Jack...keep you company' she suggested.
Jack looked at her. He knew she was trying to be kind but he didn't think he could cope with sympathy on Gwen's scale right now.
'No...go home to Rhys...he'll be pleased to see you...I'll be ok' he insisted.
'Jack?' she said hesitantly.
Jack merely raised his eyebrow in question.
'I thought you two were just playing around...but it's more than that isn't it?' she asked.
Jack looked down.
'Yes...it's become more than that...I miss him...I want him back...and I don't want to talk about it anymore tonight...go home' he said.
Gwen nodded in understanding.
'We'll find him' she whispered kissing Jack on the cheek and walking quietly out of the hub.
Jack's reserve broke once the last member of the team had left. He allowed the tears to stream unchecked down his face and just sat dejectedly on the sofa, resigned to another sleepless night without his Welshman.