Sorry for not updating recently, I didn't have any inspiration for where to take it, but recently a close friend gave me some help. So here it is... At long last. Chapter 4 of Chloe Beale's secret.

Spending time with Beca today was one of the single best experiences of my life. She's a great girl, just the right girl for me I believe. But have I let out too much? I mean I've told her who I live with, but I can't tell if she's curious to find out more. What should I do if she gets inquisitive? Its to late to run away, but yet too soon for her to know. It'll always be to soon for her to know. I honestly wish to be normal, completely honestly its the only thing I want more than Beca.

I miss my mum. She's my role model. She gave her life, to ensure I could live mine and, although it hurts, I think about her whenever I'm alone. I have a photo of her inside my phone case, and I look at it a lot. I hate to think about what she could have been. Somehow though, I feel as though she would be proud of me now, because I'm being so strong, Its just I can't let other people see. I can't let down my walls of protection. Beca's the one who always had a protective wall, but yet it's me who has one. I'm the one who's weak, but that's because I bundled up my strength, and use it to hide my past. One last thing I wish for. I wish for normality. I don't feel like I'm normal, I don't feel like I fit in with Aubrey and her family, nobody really understands me there. They try, and I'll give them that, but they just don't understand me like a mother, a father, a brother and a sister should. I feel more like I'm staying with some sort of auntie or something when I'm there. I don't feel like I'm home. Barton University is home, anywhere with Beca is home, but I don't feel like there is my home. The Bella's are my family, Beca, Emily, Stacie, Amy, Flo and all the rest. And then, of course, there are the Trebbles, they are like family to us too. Jesse and Benji and all the other wonderful weirdos there.

'Hello?' The noise of Stacie's voice echoed through the empty house... I slammed my diary closed and stuffed it back inside a jumper in my draws and yelled back.

'Hey Stacie!' I replied. I heard her feet pattering up the stairs. She came into my room without knocking. 'What's up Stac?' I asked

'It's just I've got a date with this hot guy tonight, and I'm not sure that I'll be back in time for the Bella's rehearsal tonight... I was going to tell Beca but she doesn't seem to be here, so you're the next best person.' She explained. Stacie was a tall, with beautiful eyes, a lovely face, and hair to die for. She was lucky, she had a fashion model body, the type of curves every girl wants. None of that meant I found her attractive, nobody could look better than Beca.

'Sure I'll tell Beca, if you can't come to rehearsals, just text me please. Enjoy your date though. You deserve it Stac.' I told her.

'Thanks Chloe, I love you darling.' Stacie said, drawing me into a hug. She then left hurriedly. I sat there for a few minutes thinking. Several points drifted through my mind, like Beca and 'mum'. I was quite looking forwards to Christmas now, I've been wanting to show Mrs Posen my 'best friend' for a while now. She ien't very supportive of gay girls (or gay men mind you), so I was scared to come out and say I have a girlfriend... My phone buzzed, bringing me back to reality, and causing me to jump. I picked it up, and checked the notification, just to see who it was. It was Beca. 'Hope you're not going to forget to meet me at 4 when I finish at the recording studio. Xx'

I'd completely forgotten that she was going to the recording studio for her internship again today... Fortunately, it wasn't a very long walk to the recording studio, and it was now only 3, so I decided to watch some TV, but there wasn't anything much on, so I found myself watching an episode of the Simpsons that I must have watched a hundred times before, not that I objected to that, it was better than some things people have been known to watch.

I forgot to pay attention to the clock, so I was about 5 minutes late leaving the house than I really should have been. It didn't matter, Beca wouldn't mind. I tied up my deep red converses, and I left the house in quite a hurry. I met Amy at the gate.

'Way up Ginger, where you off to at such a pace?' She asked

'I forgot I was meeting Beca, so I'm gonna be lake picking her up from the studio now. I'd love to stay and chat, but I got to go.' I replied rushing down the pathway besides the road.

'Oh later then Ginger!' She yelled. I gigged at her lack of seriousness, I love Amy and her randomness. I put my headphones in, and started playing my favourite music playlist. I was gumming along to the words and minding my own business. I slipped back into my imagination, thinking about my mum and Aubrey and all sorts of other things. How perfect life would be if I could just be in this world all the time, instead of only when I ignore the rest of humanity.

I had just got to the library by the recording studio, when the town clock rung out for 4 o'clock. I looked down the street tiwards the corner with the recoding studio on and smiled. 'Beca.' I whispered to myself. I smiled, pushed the hair out of my face with my hands. I continued to walk. I reached the corner, and got pulled around by a strong pair of hands.

'Hello there beautiful' said a deep masculine voice. Tom. I'd recognise his voice anywhere.

'Get off me!' I yelled trying desperately to hit him. He held my arms by my sides, digging his fingers into my arms.

'Not got the protection of your girlfriends now do ya!' He sneered.

A soft voice came up behind me.

'Chloe. Duck.' Beca said. I did as she said, and she dmashed him in the face, and as she did do, I kneed him in the balls. He waddled away, and I fell to the ground.

'Chloe, are you okay?' Beca asked.

'Yeah yeah fine. He's just an idiot.' I replied hurridly.

'Yeah he lurks around here looking for hot girls.' Beca said.

'He was my first ever boyfriend and, I hasten to add, the reason I'm gay.' I explained

'He's a total loser. I wouldn't worry about him too much.' Beca added. She helped me up and we started to walk home together. I was deeply shaken by my experiance of seeing Tom though. I hated him.

Wooohhooo!! Finally done! I'm actually feeling proud of myself now.

Lea