Dedicated to Hitomix and Jade Eyes

January 13th

Today, my children became official jounins. I couldn't be more proud. They truly are the pride of the village. As predicted, Yoona is now enlisted in the ANBU black ops and Eunhyuk is part of the special force. I suspect Taemin will also be achieving great things like his siblings, he's already a brilliant medic like his mother.

Sometimes I wonder if they are growing up too quickly, makes me a little sad sometimes. It was only yesterday I was teaching them how to walk, and now they're going on assassination missions in enemy territory and coming home covered in blood. I don't think Sakura appreciates the stains on our carpet.

February 4th

Apparently Yoona is not a lesbian, she is bisexual. Whatever that means. I knew she was going through a phase. But I can't believe she had to tell us during dinner, seriously, couldn't she have waited when I didn't have something to choke on? Eunhyuk says she's happy sticking her hands down anyone's pants and being happy with what she finds. I really did not need to hear that. Nope.

Which brings me to my other issue, Eunhyuk seems to have a bit of a sister-complex. At first I thought it was because they were close as siblings, but apparently I've overlooked some things. I mean, is it really natural to catch your eldest son spying on his sister when she's swimming with her friends? He accidentally shot a brigade of kunai knives at me. He says I caught him by surprise. I call bullshit.

March 28th

My daughter says I am romantically-retarded. Ouch. Way to damage a man's pride. She says I have no romantic bone in me and still can't believe I managed to woo her mother off her feet. Darling, you obviously don't know what goes on behind our bedroom doors . . . and I'm glad you don't, and I never want you to engage in those kind of activities until you're at least forty. Do you understand?

Erm, anyways. Today, my wife turns forty-one. She says she's old and wants to be left alone. I proceeded to worship her body with my talented tongue and fingers. She said she felt twenty-one and could never love another man. Yeah, I still got it in me.

April 6th

There isn't a whole lot to say today, not much happened . . .

Other then the fact that my son tried to kill me again.

After catching him spying on Yoona for the upteenth time, he attacked me with this giant tornado and nearly blew me all the way to konoha! He said he was caught off guard and didn't realize it was me. I am so close to strangling him. He knows my chakra signature and it wasn't as if I was sneaking around unlike some people I know.

I think my suspicions have been confirmed, my son is indeed trying to kill me.

May 21st

I didn't realize how troublesome having a daughter was until today. The first sixteen years were fine, a bit difficult, but okay. At first, we were planning to simply take her out to dinner and give her those shoes she's been begging me to buy her. But no, apparently every girl must have a sweet sixteen for her birthday or else I didn't love her. How absurd.

Today, I learned what it means to have your life flash before your eyes. The Akatsuki attack doesn't count, because it doesn't anywhere near to the sheer horror I faced with drunk teenagers, my daughter dancing on a stripping pole, and her own brother shoving dollar bills down her shirt.

June 5th

I appreciate Taemin's simplicity, I really do. He's a quite and studious boy who keeps to himself and only speaks when he's spoken to. He's not a shinobi and has no desire to be, but wishes to become a full fledged medic nin like his mother. He enjoys dango and tea in the afternoon, accompanied by a small nap before going back to work. I suspected for his tenth birthday he wanted something medical related, and I was right.

What I didn't anticipate, however, was him asking me for a forty, grade A silver steel scalpel. What I also didn't expect was to run into his enormous collection of knives and pointy weapons.

July 10th

The day I found out some boy made my daughter cry was the day I almost started the fifth shinobi war. I honestly don't care if he's the son of the konoha's current rokudaime, I was ready to wring that kid's neck, alliance be damned. However, as I was ready to dispatch my army, I found him hanging by his at the village entrance. His face was well beyond bloodied and damaged.

I'd give my thanks to my son, but I have a huge inkling that this is a dire warning of my impending doom.

August 26th

Today I found a dead rabbit in my office.

At first I thought it was a sick joke from Kankuro, he's always doing things like this, but then I remembered he's not even in the village at the current moment.

I looked out the window and find a pair of familiar green eyes looking at me in the thick of trees. This cannot end well.

September 24th

Sakura says for our seventeenth anniversary, she has a special surprise for me. To be quite honest, after being a husband and father for so long hardly anything surprises me now.

But when I see her in our bed, wearing the most seductive piece of lingerie I have ever seen, I am happy to say I am thoroughly surprised. I wasn't aware you could take these things off with your teeth.

October 31st

I don't think I've ever been more flustered or fearful in my life. Here is my baby, my child, my only daughter wearing the world's tiniest nurse outfit and telling me it's okay because everyone else is wearing it. I tell her to change, but she's stubborn and won't budge. Annoying woman.

And then there's the issue with my son. The youngest is a ninja turtle, which I'm fine with and watch him happily leave with his friends to go trick or treat. But with Eunhyuk standing so close to Yoona, wearing a gruesome doctor's costume and telling me he'll watch over her, I don't know whether to feel relieved or worried.

November 27th

I am thankful for my wife, my beautiful mate who has stayed with my through my ups and downs, and mothering my wonderful children.

I am thankful for said children, who despite give me the worst headaches and heart attacks, I love them with all my being and would die to ensure their happiness and safety.

I am also thankful I managed to escape in one piece after a vicious sparring with my oldest son.

December 25th

"Daddy, here's your present!" Yoona hands me a red box and I open it to find a new scroll kit I have been itching to get. I kiss her forehead and she runs back to her mother.

"Here's mine." Taemin shoves a green box in my arms and I find a gold ring inside, "It's to replace the last one I accidentally broke last week." He puffs his cheeks and blushes, but I pat his head and give my thanks.

We turn to Eunhyuk, who stand before us with his hands in his pockets and in an arrogant slouch.

"Where's your gift, idiot?" Yoona growls.

He smirks and says, "I gave him another day."

This child will receive nothing but coal for the rest of his life, I guarantee that.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday!