AN: I'm sosososososo sorry I haven't updated. I'm officially off Hiatus. Something I've noticed after watching Viva La Bam thousands of times is that the episodes don't go in order. So I'll be mixing them up according to how they appear to go in actual life. The beggining of this is set in the episode 'Community Disservice'. The next part is 'Mardi Gras pt 1 and 2'. I'm skipping 'Fat Boy Face Off', but I'm doing tree top casino and probably might skip 'Demo Derby'. I haven't decided yet.
Chapter 4: Party Bras Part 1
now i've got some friends
some that i hardly know, and we've had
some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
~Rise Against, Swing Life Away
Bam's POV:
I rolled over, and opened up my eyes. Instead of seeing who I wanted beside me, I saw Jenn. Thankfully, she hadn't caught me those two nights ago when I fell asleep on top of Olive. If she had, she probably would have ended things with me. I still wished she would have. I sighed, and quickly got out of bed. I walked out, still shirtless and my hair a mess. I walked up to Ollie's room.
It was decorated fully, purple walls, flamingo party lights strung across the bay window, and beads covering the bay window. Her skateboard rested on the cushion of the window. Posters plastered all over her wall, of her various favorite bands, from Coheed and Cambria to Avenged sevenfold. A collage of pictures, from the candid photos of Steve-O from the set of the first Jackass movie to pictures of her nephews and little brother, there were pictures of Wee-Man, Me, Dunn, everyone who was important to her. A mannequin covered in her decorative scarves she never wore sat in the corner beside her dresser. On her dresser sat two pictures. One of her and her two triplet brothers, Patrick and Stephen, and the other of me and her. It was from the day we filmed the family reunion episode. We were both on top of the elephant. I'd never looked so happy...
Her room was complete, but she wasn't in there.
"Dunn's room." I chuckled softly to myself.
I creeped in, and saw Dunn was already awake and in the shower. Ollie, on the other hand, was still fast asleep. She looked pretty when she was sleeping. Her mouth was parted slightly, and it wasn't really snoring as much as it was purring. Her bright red hair was in a dissaray, and there was a tiny bit of drool at the corner of her mouth. She wasn't perfect at all, but she was to me.
I gave the sleeping girl a small smile, and covered her exposed feet with the blanket. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and went into the kitchen. The remodeling of the upstairs was starting today, and the top half of the upstairs was already completely painted, and Seth already had some art up. He told me that in about 3 more days it would be completely finished.
Olive's POV:
I was awoken by the sound of a window breaking.
"What the hell?" I muttered to myself as I walked down the stairs. The boys were all clad in baseball gear, and had bases all set up. The whole upstairs was almost finished. I'd slept in a little later than I should have. It was about 11:45, and there was already a bunch of furniture and stuff. And Bam and the guys were already ruining it with a baseball game in the house.
Somehow, the whole thing turned into a bet where we had to do community service. Something for the kids, old people, something for Phil, something for the public, and something for the enviornment.
I, for one, was not excited. I didn't like doing things for other people. I didn't like old people, I didn't like getting dirty, Kids in west chester didn't need help, and the people of west chester sure as fuck didn't. The only thing I was even remotly okay with was the parking spot for Phil, because I loved him.
I did like spending all the time with Bam though. So I didn't complain.
The whole shameal lasted two days. And we won.
And, Bam was sparred of having one of his rooms decorated Laura Ashley, and Ape had to eat a bowl of cereal. It wasn't a normal bowl of ceral, oh no. Lighthouse hotub was the bowl of cereal. And the special surprise inside was none other than DiCamillo.
"Come on in!" Dico yelled, and Dunn pushed me in.
I screamed, but when I got out from under, I started laughing. everyone else got in too, and Jenn just had to ruin the fun and got in with her Bikini on. You could see it on the rest of the guys' faces they weren't very happy.
Ape had to eat just one bite, and I felt awful. From my predictions, the ingrediants were:
Sugar
Cornstarch
Dunn's Sweat
My Cold
Raab's nose hair
Glomb's foot fungus
Dico's ear wax
Phil's Back Hair
Jenn's STD's
and Monosodium Glutamate.
A fairly accurate assumption, and a disgusting bowl of cereal.
I pulled Ape in, and more cereal splashed everywhere.
"What happens in the bowl of cereal stays in the bowl of cereal." Raab said, and he full-on groped my ass.
I screamed, and laughed again when the family dog, Murphy jumped in. Glomb stripped to his underwear, and me and Dunn couldn't stop laughing.
Raab ended up peeing in the cereal, and we all jumped out.
Two Days Later
Peaceful, dark, warm...sleeeeeeeping.
"OLIVER LEIGH HAWK!" The sound of a megaphone in my ear startled me awake. I screamed bloody murder, and hopped up onto my feet on the bed, clutching the headboard. The first time I actually grew balls and slept in my own room, I got the living daylights scared out of me.
My brother stood at the side of the bed I was desperately clutching to, smiling brightly at me.
"Tony!" I screamed hapily, and leaped into my brothers arms.
"Hi peanut!" He twirled me around and set me on the ground.
"I had no idea you were gonna be here. You're coming to Mardi Gras with us right?" I asked.
"Hell yeah, why else would I be here at 7:00 on a Sunday?" He smiled at me.
I hugged him again. "This is the best surprise in the whole fucking world! Get the fuck out so I can get dressed."
He laughed at my demand, and let me be. I got dressed and brought my suitcases downstairs, and ran straight into Jason Ellis' waiting arms. I hadn't seen him since the scavenger hunt. I'd known him since I was practically a baby. I'd known all Tony's skateboarding friends since I was at least 8, when I became pro. I was a well loved girl in the skating industry.
Tim O'Conner and Donny Barley were here too, which would make the trip even more fun.
We waited around for Glomb for about an hour, so Jason and I went outside to skate. He made me wreck countless times, as he ALWAYS did when I skated with him.
Glomb told us he'd arrive with the RV's shortly after my thousandth sabotage, so we all went out front to wait for him.
"Where are you goin'?" I asked Vito's fat ass who had to bring out a chair just to sit down.
"I'm goin' tah New Orleans. Fer Mardi Gras." Vito told me.
"You wanna see boobs?" I teased.
"Naw I never been there I been wantin' to go my whole life. You know I wandasee Mardi Gras goddlesee goz boobies down there!" Vito yelled.
"Are we gonna see girls gone totally wild?" Jason asked Bam.
"Girls gone Ape shit! Its a mixture of Bum fights and girl's gone wild!" Bam laughed, and proceeded to rip off his shirt, and started to punch Tim.
"Yo, look man, our chariot awaits." Tony said as he threw an arm around me, ponting to the first RV.
"Oh, c'mon, you gotta be kidding me with this shit." I rolled my eyes. "He said he was going to the car wash!"
"Ollie, you know better than that!" Tony chuckled. "You've been living here, what, a year now?"
"Yeah, whatever. It better not be like that on the inside!" I shoved glomb as he approached us.
"What're you talkin about, midget? Its perfectly clean in there!" Glomb shook his head with a smile.
The second RV drove in, and following it was Glomb's truck, towing a four foot wide mini half pipe.
"Cartz and I whipped together a little mini ramp to skate at the gas station whenever we have to fill up." Glomb said, brushing his teeth.
"How the fuck are you supposed to shred that thing, its four feet wide!" I laughed.
"I have a trick for that ramp." Bam said.
"Aww yeah, I'm gonna do so many trick on that." O'Connor snorted.
"Let's get the hell outta here and get to Mardi Gras." Glomb said.
A choral of agreements followed suit, and I was still reluctant because I'd rather Ryan had been with us, but I was in the dream team bus so it didnt really matter. Jason picked me up bridal style and carried me into the bus.
I looked out the window to see Bam give Ape a kiss goodbye, but then end up getting her and Phil to come along. I smiled. I loved how much Bam adored his Mom.
Everyone finally loaded in their Convoy's and we were headed down 287.
I setteled in the booth and played poker with Tim, Ellis, and Tony, and we used cheetos as poker chips.
It was around 7:00 when we drove past 3 mile island.
Bam looked at me and laughed. "3 mile island. Good times."
I snorted. "Define good."
Bam laughed and shook his head.
I continued to play poker.
Bam's POV:
I could very easily have defined good...
"Of all the stupidest fucking things that have ever backfired, I get stuck on this radioactive sludge slab called a fucking island, and someone fucking burns the goddamn cake! I really wanted that cake!" Ollie had screamed as she discovered that Dunn had burned it in the fire.
We all laughed. Whenever Ollie got pissed off over tiny things, she was always really funny.
Even though it was cold, rainy and miserable, she managed to have a little fun, always had fun with Dico and Dunn.
"Its so fucking cold. I've only lived with you weirdos for two months and I'm already stuck here with all of you with no jacket." She said as she flopped into the beach chair that night.
"Get up." I told her.
She gave me a very 'Fuck Off' look, but did as she was told, I climbed into the chair and told her to lay on top of me.
We were the two warmest in the whole group that night.
I smiled sadly at that memory, and continued to watch all the guys loose their money and Cheetos to Ollie.
Olive's POV:
11:00AM SUNDAY. MARDI GRAS ENDS IN 61 HOURS.
We stopped for the first time on the trip at a place called Landhope Farms. Kind of like the Cracker Barrell, there was a store in front, and a resturant in back. We didn't have time to sit and eat, so I made damn sure we stocked up on snacks. I ate a lot.
"Ollie, do you really need to eat ice cream in the morning?" Tony stressed.
"Um, how long have we known each other?" I asked him.
He laughed one of those loud, sharp laughs and rolled his eyes. "Fine."
We had declared a hesh sesh at every stop, me and Bam being the main two that skated.
When we finally filled up everything, we got back into the RV. I really had to pee, so I ran back to the bathroom, and the smell hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Hey!" I barked. "Who dropped a heavy in there?" I walked back out.
"What?" Bam asked, and walked by me into the bathroom. "Ugh! There's like a foot a' turd in here."
We finally figured it out.
"Glomb and Raab just shit in the RV, so its on now." Bam declared on camera, making the prank war official.
We finally left at 12:00. Mardi Gras would officially end in 60 hours.
20 miles out, Parkesburg, PA.
Two little kids chased the bus, and finally gave up, yelling "Bam Rules!"
57 miles, Lancaster, PA.
Donny and I fell asleep watching Ren and Stimpy on my laptop.
212 miles, Altoona, PA.
We finally arrived in Pittsburg, and began discussing the Glomb/Raab rivalry.
Bam and I sat together on one side of the table, and Jason and Donny sat across from us... Jason had a plan.
"Check it out dude, we buy a ton of bags like fill a bag with Mayonaise, peanut butter, ketchup, Gerkins-"
"Smell this one, its just, new level bad." Jason held up the bag to my nose an hour and a half after he had said the plan.
It really was new level bad.
"Go throw it in their microwave when they stop for gas and just like put it in and turn it on really fast." My brother started in on it.
I was the one who had to do the deed. Luckily Don Vito was the only one in the bus.
I quickly put it in before he could see what it was.
"Watcha doin' ollie, makin suttin blow up?" He asked.
"No, I'm just makin some popcorn." I had to stand on my toes to reach the buttons.
"Juss get the hell us to Mardi Gras, that's all I care about. We don' even care about the skatin' do we Ollie, We're going to Mardi Gras." Don Vito said.
"I know, we skate everywhere we go." I played along.
"Its what I mean what the hell ats gittin old this skatin. let's go to Mardi Gras I'm gettin tired of this skatin."
I left when it started to officially stink, and ran like hell into the dream tems RV.
I heard Vito yell at Glomb. "That Ollie Hawkza mother vulcan liar! Yesse says she makin popcorn i dono what the hell she makin but she ran off n' left in in ere."
Jason was gaurding, and I was sitting in the booth, when he gasped and grabbed me and we ran into the back room.
Glomb splattered the stinky all over the door and scraped it on the table. I finally got into the thing, because I was a girl, and mayonnaise in my presence was a big no-no. I grabbed one of the sludge grenades and ran after him, chasing him all around the gas station, and pelted him straight in the back, and it exploded all over him.
"Thats what I'm talkin about!" Jason hugged me from behind.
We were all evened out, but the war was still on.
"Damn, Ollie got him good." My brother said proudly to the camera.
It wasn't until later that I saw Glombs threat to me: "I'm callin her out, Ollie Hawk, you're a so-cal woss-bag. I'm comin' for you."
The night was over, and Tony and I shared a bunk, as we normally did on road trips like this, and by 7:40 a.m of the next day we were in Athens, Ohio.
We stopped at a skate shop at around 11 to ask if there were any nearby skate parks.
Being the three best there, Tony, Bam, and I showed all the little kids how it was done, Tony and I doing McTwists and all that shit, and Bam just being Bam, the crazy, amazing person he was.
Not only was it fun to skate with Tony, because since I had moved to West Chester with Bam, I hadn't skated with Tony as much as I used too, but we were pissing Vito off to the extreme.
With Tony here, and with other people I'd known forever, and without Jenn here, I actually felt like I belongned.
There were two really cute little boys there, and I kissed both of them on the cheeks, signed their helmets, and took pictures with them.
Without Jenn here, I actually didn't feel out of place, I could be myself, and not feel like I was just a kid. After almost a year of living in West Chester, I had actually lost who I was, and I finally found myself again. Now that I had, I wasn't about to let it go when we got back.
And now, the war continues...
Glomb restarted by spitting chewed gunk on our window.
Dreamteam- 2
Nightmare- 3
Then tony opened said window and threw my half eaten sandwhich in glomb's face, getting mustard on his only clean shirt.
Dreamteam- 3
Nightmare- 3
The next gas station, Glomb smeared sardines all over the steps of our RV.
As Jason explained that even though the big chunks were gone, the stink from the little ones in the cracks of the steps would come back in an hour, Tony had finally had enough.
Dreamteam- 3
Nightmare- 4
At long last, there was peace. Bam and Glomb touched hands as we sped down the highway, and as I said, there was peace.
It was exactly like being in Jackass, the tension was way too high. I liked peace, and I needed to keep all my strength for if there was ever a Jackass 2.
Clarkesville, TN.
I had been sleeping beside Bam on the couch for the past, I didn't know how long, and I was awoken by the sound of Glomb's voice over the radio.
"Does anyone maybe wanna pull over and maybe skate? We're gonna have to make a pitstop at Bruce Martin's Skatopia."
"Dude that's insane. Its so far out of the way." Bam said.
"Its soooo nessacary." Glomb said back.
"Thats like the official wrong way to Mardi Gras." Bam said.
We were never making it.