Chapter 4: Late Night Planning
In which James declares his undying love for a special someone, Hestia redirects her anger against an easier target, and an intelligent discussion of mead and toilets takes place in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory.
James Potter and Emma Thomas were sitting in Professor McGonagall's office, writing lines. Unfortunately, Sirius hadn't been the only one to overdo the firewhiskey somewhat, and James had crashed into Transfiguration after missing the first two lessons, walked up to McGonagall's desk, and planted a wet kiss on her cheek, proclaiming to the class, "I love you Minnie!"
Sirius had managed to pull himself together before said lesson, and Peter, showing a rare example of common sense, had decided against drinking at all. However, Emma had been left in the boys' dormitory, totally incapable of standing up. Regrettably for her, Minerva McGonagall was far more observant of her class numbers than Cassandra Alexandrou, and had stormed up to the Gryffindor Common Room to find her giggling on the floor. As a result, she was now sitting alongside Mr. Potter, waiting for detention to end, while their stern Head of House marked some summer holiday homework at her desk.
Eventually, after what seemed like days, the strict Transfiguration teacher looked up from her marking, gazed austerely at the two offenders, and said, "You may leave now, you two. I must warn you, though, that any further inappropriate behaviour will be dealt with in a far harsher manner."
Emma was embarrassed enough by the situation to say "Sorry", but James, with a huge grin slapped across his face, cried, "It was a pleasure as always, Minnikins," and scarpered from the room before she could call him back.
The two headed off to the Common Room, chatting happily, until they met a grumpy-looking Hestia Jones, who was sitting on a bench on the third floor, hunched over some homework.
"Wassup, Hest?" asked James loudly.
His victim looked up, saw who had hailed her and narrowed her eyes. "I'm busy, Potter, so you'd better make it quick."
James looked briefly offended, but sat down next to her nonetheless, and was joined by Emma. "I am sorry, my dearest Hest, but you just looked like you might have needed a hand."
"I might appreciate the offer if it wasn't coming from you. You see, Potter, I just can't find it within me to trust anything about you. I wonder why that could be?"
Hestia unfortunately had a deep mistrust of the Gryffindor boys in her year that stemmed from an incident in their fourth year involving a juvenile prank against Severus Snape, a greasy-haired Slytherin from their year that backfired and hit her instead. To cut a long story short, James and Peter (Sirius had sadly been hospitalised that very morning and was unavailable for their slightly unoriginal trick) spent the day being chased around Hogwarts by a half-naked, soaking wet Hestia, who ended up cursing them so badly they were forced to join Sirius in Mr. Denton's Hospital Wing.
As a result, Hestia was now glaring at James in the third floor corridor, while Emma giggled behind them.
"I do apologise, O sweet one, and I would desperately desire to wind back the clock and repair our tragically shattered friendship. However, I did actually want to ask you something?"
Hestia raised her eyebrow.
"I was wondering if you happened to know, my lovely songbird, when a certain Miss Evans was on her prefect duties."
Hestia slapped him.
"Fuck off, Potter. I'm trying to work."
James had thankfully already been given a crash course in how to deal with angry girls, and thus realised that this was the time for him to depart.
Emma, also given a look of deepest loathing by her roommate, followed James back to the Common Room, where they were able to find Sirius, Peter, a newly-recovered Remus, and Hope sitting by the window.
Sirius, who had been eyeing up Louisa Parker, a fifth year girl who was sitting across the room, immediately turned to face James, and cried, "Mr. Lightweight has decided to return and grace us with his presence. All bow before the venerable Lord Lightweight!"
James, whose fragile ego had taken a beating from his encounter with Hestia and the subsequent mocking he had received from Emma, decided not to put up with any more verbal knocks, and instead gave Sirius a girly slap across the face, to which Sirius responded with a girlier scream. James then prompted to drag Sirius up to their dormitory. Nobody dared follow, for fear of interrupting one of their patented 'Meetings of the Minds', in which they planned their schemes for the next few weeks, and considered whether anybody (usually Snape) deserved to be hexed at breakfast the next day. Nobody was ever invited to these secret 'Meetings', not even Remus and Peter, and anybody who did accidentally walk in on these discussions often left the room with the effects of a series of nasty curses visible.
James bundled Sirius onto the floor, pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lit up, and took a long drag.
The two sat on their beds, enjoying several minutes of companionable silence while the room slowly filled up with cigarette smoke.
Eventually, James spoke up. "I reckon Avery deserves to get his head shoved down a toilet."
There was a pause as Sirius considered the matter. "I'm inclined to agree. I'm also of the belief that we need to pay back Moony for his little outburst earlier. I would consider emptying a keg of mead over his head tomorrow morning, but I believe that would be a waste of alcohol, and I don't think that would be a wise move."
"Hmm, it's a tough one, Pads." James took a long drag. "However, the easy availability of alcohol from the Hog's Head and the number of discounts offered to us by our good man Aberforth lead me to believe that we would be able to dispense with the mead, even if it is an entire keg."
The room descended once again into thoughtful silence.
It was nearly ten minutes before Sirius said anything again.
"Do you reckon Louisa Parker's fit?"
James pondered. "The fifth-year? With black hair?"
Sirius nodded.
"Yeah, I reckon you should go for her. Passes the time, doesn't it?"
"Mmm."
James suddenly looked serious. "Do you reckon I'll ever get Lils?"
Sirius tilted his head back, and gazed thoughfully into the roof of his four-poster. "Yeah, I don't see why not. You just need to bide your time, Prongsy."
This serious debate, which had lasted one hour, several cigarettes (the butts of which were lying on the floor), and about two minutes of actual speech, was sadly interrupted by a knocking at the door.
"Oi, you two! When the fuckin' 'ell are you gonna let us in." It was Peter, in his typically refined fashion. The pair of philosophers surprisingly walked over two the door and opened it. It turned out that Remus and Peter had been waiting outside for about half an hour, after everybody else had turned in for the night.
But then, that was how the Marauder hierarchy system worked.
A/N: Another chapter finished! Hooray! Again, the plot aspect of this story hasn't made an appearance, but I'll get around to that eventually. Hopefully. As usual, please leave a review – I'm desperate for them! And I promise we'll get plot, and other characters next chapter. Honest :) – gredandforge909