A Mild Extension

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"Wait, what?!" exclaimed Tezuka. "I said 'next scene'! What are we still doing here?"

"Who said you get to call the shots?" Ryuzaki retorted. "It just so happens that I wasn't finished talking when you decided to end chapter three!"

"You've already humiliated and tortured us beyond the limits of a twenty four hour period," Echizen pointed out. "What more could you possibly have to say?"

"Actually, we were just about to give you the directions for the second challenge before you could disappear," said Sakaki.

"The second challenge!?" they all cried. "The first challenge ended thirty seconds ago!"

"Well, if we let you go home now, the chances that you would never come back were....."

"98.6 percent, which also happens to be the healthy human body temperature," said Yanagi and Inui in unison. Then they looked at eachother and shared a secret smile.

"Right, like they said," Ryuzaki affirmed. "So, we decided to give you the instructions for the second challenge right now."

Everyone exchanged angry looks. They hated to admit it, but that was probably what would have happened if the coaches had let them leave.

"Fine then, what's the second challenge!?" Kamio called.

"Funny you should ask," said Ryuzaki, although it really wasn't funny at all. "Because as it so turns out, the second challenge is only for second years."

"Huzzah!" all the third and first years cheered, while the second years stood there looking appalled.

"Oh, and Echizen has to do it too," Sakaki added.

Echizen stopped mid-cheer. "What!? Why me?!"

"You're the Prince of Tennis," said Ryuzaki. "You have to participate in nearly every challenge whether it pertains to you or not."

"That's not fair!"

"Sorry Echizen, but you are the Prince of Tennis." Inui pointed out.

"I hate my job!" Echizen cried, stamping his feet on the ground. "I don't want to be Prince of Tennis anymore! Anyone want to trade?"

Everyone ignored him.

"So," continued Ryuzaki. "Third years and first years minus Echizen get off easy this time, but don't get too excited because you will be competing in later challenges!"

This didn't seem to perturb the celebrating teens, who were already making weekend plans together.

Sakaki and Ryuzaki frowned and wondered if they should change the challenge. There was something fundamentally wrong about the boys being happy.

"Anyway," Ryuzaki finally said, snapping out of her reverie, "all the second years and Echizen make a line."

They sulkily did so, while the third years laughed at them.

"Okay, now as you remember, I said that in every challenge there must always be at least one delegate from both Rikkaidai and Seigaku competing. Competitors from these two teams, step forward!" Ryuzaki ordered.

Kirihara, Kaidoh, Momoshiro, and Echizen stepped forward.

The two coaches looked at them.

"Okay, that was pointless. I don't know why I asked you to do that." Ryuzaki admitted. "You can step back now."

The four exchanged exasperated looks before stepping back again. Really, these coaches were champions at wasting not only their energy, but also their time.

"Alright," said Ryuzaki, "So, the second challenge is a challenge issued only to the fine second years that I see before me. It is a truly lovely challenge that I'm sure you will all enjoy immensely."

"What is it?" They asked impatiently.

"She was trying to build up the suspense. Obviously." Yanagi said immediately.

"Exactly," said Ryuzaki. "I was going to make it a little more dramatic just so that it might be fun for you guys, but if you just want the cold, dry facts, then fine!"

"Nothing you could do could possibly make this fun," said Kamio.

"What whiners!" exclaimed Ryuzaki in disgust. "I'll just get to it.....the second challenge iiiiiisssssss......"

Drumroll.

"The Poetry Challenge!"

There was a dramatic collective gasp.

"Yes, indeed!" said Ryuzaki enthusiastically. "In this challenge, I ask that each of the second years write an original poem!"

"Yeah, we guessed that was what you meant by 'poetry challenge'," all the second years chorused irritably.

"Oh, really? Well then I guess since you guys are such geniuses, I don't have to explain anything else!"

"Nope," affirmed Kaidoh.

Ryuzaki was nearly tearing her hair out in frustration, so Sakaki took over.

"It would be more accurate to call it the 'haiku challenge'," he said. "We figured that if we assigned a challenge to write poetry, then you guys would all just write the shortest poems possible anyway, so to pretend that we still had some authority, we're requiring that you write haiku! So there!"

Everyone had to think about this logic for a minute. It sort of made sense in a reverse psychology kind of way, but not really.

Sakaki continued, "You must all write a haiku for this challenge, on any subject that you choose. Since we know that art takes time, and we are reasonable people, the haiku will be due one week from now. That should give you plenty of time to brainstorm, plan out, and write your poem."

Everyone exchanged raised eyebrows at the words "reasonable people", but said nothing.

"So....I guess that's it," said Sakaki awkwardly. "You guys are to meet back here in one week's time with your poems. Any questions?"

"Does each team have an equal number of second years?" Shinji wanted to know.

Sakaki sighed and looked at Ryuzaki, who seemed to have recovered.

"I gotta tell you: I'm getting damn tired of this question." Ryuzaki said frankly. "Listen up, once and for all: it doesn't matter how many people are on each team. We grade you objectively, judging how well your team did on the whole, so it makes no difference if one team has more players. Got that, everyone?"

"Yes," they said, pouting.

"Good! Then all I can say at this point is that I hope you write poetry better than you cheat!"

A few of the boys made snarling noises, but Ryuzaki had turned away to address the third and first years.

"You boys have it relatively easy this week since nothing is due from you," she said. "But that doesn't mean you should lie around and do nothing. Your success as a team depends on how well these poems come out, so I highly recommend that you make every effort to help your second years out!"

"Yeah, yeah....." They all said in tones that made it obvious that they weren't really listening.

"Okay, now everyone scatter," said Ryuzaki. "I intend to go home now myself. You are dismissed."

"Let's go to the beach!" Saeki said immediately. "It's Saturday and I've got to have some fun! I've been cooped up for too long....."

"Sounds good!" said Fuji, even though he hadn't been invited.

All the third years began making plans to hang out, leaving the second years and Echizen standing alone and looking rather dejected. "Figures," they all grumbled. "Damn third years."

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~The Next Day~

"Okay, Second Years," said Sanada crisply, clasping his hands together and addressing Kirihara, Ishida, Shinji, Kamio, Kabaji, Hiyoshi, and Choutarou, who were sitting in a circle in the middle of the room. "I know that yesterday we third and first years sort of ditched you in your time of need, but we're very sorry for that and now we intend to do everything we can to aid you in writing successful poems."

"Where's Yukimura?" whined Hiyoshi, who was already tired of listening to Sanada's voice.

There was a pained silence among the Rikkaidai students.

"...Yukimura's.....not here." Sanada finally answered gruffly, dabbing at the corner of his eye. "He was feeling a bit off-color yesterday when we returned from karaoke and he went to bed early complaining of a headache and fever. This morning he woke up in a coma." Sanada paused to blow his nose. "We rushed him to the hospital, and they say that he'll probably be all right but......for the time being we'll need a substitute captain and I'm here for Yukimura."

"Hey, wait just a minute!" Gakuto shouted. "A coma is a deep state of unconsciousness! You can't wake up in a coma; it's impossible!"

"How dare you!" Sanada shouted, turning red. "You've got no right to start discrediting Yukimura's problem! That's what happened and I'm telling you!"

"More importantly," Atobe interrupted, "If Yukimura really is in the hospital, then why does the leadership automatically transfer to you?"

"Because I'm the vice captain!" he shouted.

"And I'm a real captain" Atobe pointed out, careful not to say "ore-sama" in fear that everyone would ignore him. "So if you think about it, it really makes much more sense that the leadership of this group goes to me."

"If we're looking at it like that, then why shouldn't I be captain?" Tachibana exclaimed, rising to his feet. "I'm just as qualified as Atobe!"

"Ditto." Said Shiraishi since he couldn't think of anything more compelling to say.

"This is Rikkaidai's championship at stake!" Sanada screamed. "Which is why it only makes sense to have a captain from Rikkaidai!"

Sanada and the three other captains began to argue loudly, with encouragement from their respective teammates, leaving the second years completely ignored, although the conversation had originally been opened for them.

"Let's go," muttered Shinji. "Without Yukimura, this team has no order. We'll be better off brainstorming alone."

The second years slipped out of the room, unnoticed by anyone.

"Bet Seigaku's team isn't having problems like these," Choutarou muttered ruefully.

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Ichiuma, Ichirou, Touji, Momoshiro, Kaidoh, Echizen, David, and Yuuta--the second years on Seigaku's team--sat around in somnolent silence. Tezuka had been giving them an "inspiring" speech for the last four hours, and they were all bored to tears.

".....so in conclusion, the guard must not only be kept up at all times, but it should also be polished every Tuesday afternoon." Tezuka was saying. "For if you don't maintain it well, it will start to rust and then be of no use to you at all. Is everything understood?"

The second years snapped their heads up, as this was the first question that had been directed at them in hours.

"Yes, everything is understood," said Momoshiro hurriedly, rubbing his eyes and stretching. "I think we're all incredibly motivated now to start writing poetry."

"Well, good, because I've arranged a way to assist you," Tezuka said.

"NO!" all the second years shouted. Then they exchanged embarrassed looks.

"What we meant was......that you inspired us so much, we no longer need assistance," Yuuta said carefully. "We can write alone!"

"Nonsense!" Tezuka said, because that was his favorite word and he liked to sneak it into as many conversations as possible, whether it made sense in the context or not. "Nonsense!" he said again, because he had enjoyed saying it so much the first time. "I've arranged for a little writing workshop for you guys to get you thinking."

"A writing....workshop?" The second years said.

"Ah, look! You're already speaking in unison! Now you're acting like a team! The workshop begins to tomorrow morning and will continue until Saturday with no breaks."

"What?!" they all screamed.

"You can't force us to do a nonstop workshop for five days!" David cried, too upset to make a pun.

"It's for your benefit," Tezuka replied. "I'll have various activities going on that will stimulate your brains and help your poetry to come out the best it can be!"

"Locking us up will smother our creativity!" Ichirou complained.

"No, it will enhance it!" Tezuka said in a booming voice. "I know it will! And we have to win this challenge! The only way that we can ensure that our poems are better and more creative than Rikkaidai's is by holding an intense writing preparation session!"

"That's a terrible plan," Kaidoh warned.

"It's a great plan!" Tezuka shouted, his glasses flashing. "It is a ridiculously great plan! There is no possible way that a plan as genius as this could fail!"

"Hey, those are the exact same words Tezuka used when he insisted that Fuji should be let on the Seigaku tennis team," Momoshiro noted conversationally.

Everyone shuddered.

Tezuka shook his head, "Look, bottom line: you guys burned down my house and you sucked at the first challenge. Therefore, you're now obliged to do your best and attend my genius writing workshop."

"Awww...." They all groaned, but saw that they could not argue with him.

"It starts at eight o'clock in the morning tomorrow." Tezuka added. "Bring toiletries, five changes of clothing, and any other comforts that you might need for the session. No excuses!"

"Pineapple." Said Touji.

Everyone looked at him. Touji shrugged.

"The last two chapters have ended with a line from Tezuka," Touji explained. "It's bad luck for Tezuka to have a third. I'm just saving his ass."

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