AN: (07/06/2017) Updated for grammar and format. :)

Chapter 4: Babied and Bitten Down

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Keith's clothes were washed and put back into the prep room adjacent to the infirmary, so he and Coran made their way there. The red paladin, still upset about being treated like a child, walked with his head down and his brows tensely furrowed. 'I don't think Allura is telling me everything, which is just rude of her. It is my mind… If she thinks she's not telling me for my own good, she's wrong… Its only making me more scared not only of myself, but for the other paladins…' Keith thought to himself, his hands balled up in fists. He hated feeling powerless.

It wasn't that he had something against Lance, it was the fact that he had no control over what was going on in his mind that upset him. He could recall recent events, but ones that occurred over 2 weeks ago were a blur. It was like putting a million-piece puzzle together; he could link some fragments to form an image and/or a sequence of events, but other pieces of the puzzle were too far for him to reach, let alone put together.

Keith's thoughts were interrupted then, as he and Coran were halfway to the infirmary. Someone was talking to him, but it didn't sound like the voice was Coran's, and it surprised Keith so suddenly he stopped short and frantically looked around him.

Coran came to his side and placed a hand on his back and asked, "Keith, what's the matter?"

He huffed in reply, "Th- this is going to sound crazy…but I think I'm hearing- someone's voice."

"Well, you're right. That does sound a bit crazy." Coran said to himself. Keith threw him a glare. "Uh- what is it saying?"

The paladin held his head. "All kinds of things. It's a male voice, that's for sure…" He waited for the voice to echo in his head again. "It…sounds like Lance. Like I'm hearing his thoughts."

Coran only blinked in response, then turned and tapped his chin in thought. "Well, can you reply to him, you know, telepathically?"

"I mean, I could try." he shrugged. "But I don't think I should right now. That would probably scare the pants off him." Keith laughed. "That, and I'm still not sure if the voice is actually Lance's."

"Right, right. Well, if it says anything out of the ordinary, you let me know." Coran ordered with a wave of his finger. Keith rolled his eyes and nodded in understanding, and the two resumed making their way to the infirmary.

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Lance was rummaging around at the castle's kitchen, looking for something Earthly to have for breakfast. He'd found a box of snacks similar to graham crackers once, so his search wasn't completely in vain. He found a jar of what looked like red jelly and licked his lips, but upon opening it, he discovered it smelled like feet and mushrooms, not the sweet strawberries he was hoping for. With a frown and a groan of frustration, he put the jar of false-jelly back in its place.

Just then Hunk waddled in, scratching his stomach. After releasing a wide yawn, he asked, "Lance? Huh, that's funny. I'm usually the one people find in here first thing in the morning."

"First of all, Hunk, it's almost 9am," Lance pointed out, closing the cabinet he was rummaging through. "And second…I woke up around 7 and couldn't fall back asleep." He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. Upon looking down as he practically mumbled his last sentence, Lance saw how bitten down his nails were; he quickly tucked his fingers away into the bend of his elbows.

Lance was sure Hunk knew why he'd suddenly become uncomfortable. The blue paladin went to him whenever he needed to vent.

"Your hair is wet." Hunk pointed out as he grabbed a bowl from the dish washer.

Lance was relieved he didn't ask about his crossed arms. "Yeah, I did some morning yoga, showered and then came for some food. Though I didn't find anything different yet."

After squeezing the usual green goop they all ate into his bowl, Hunk looked back at Lance and raised it up in an offering gesture.

Lance waved the offer away. "Nah, I'm good. I'll just wait for Coran to finish whatever he was making." Lance then pointed to the mess that was left on the counter.

"Oh, yeah." Only at Lance's mentioning did Hunk notice the mess. "That's odd. Coran never leaves a dish in the making. Any idea he just left it like that?"

"I'm not sure, but it must have something to do with Keith." Usually when Lance mentioned the red paladin in such a way, it was to blame him for something that was rightfully Lance's own fault; but this time, it was different.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Speaking of which, have you seen him yet? Heard anything about how he's doing?" Hunk asked, subconsciously taking a spoonful of the goo.

"Hunk, you know I'd run straight to you if I found out anything more about Keith."

"You have a point there." the yellow paladin chuckled.

"Also, uh, about last night." Lance rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry for barging into your room so late. I didn't mean to keep you up." Lance had gone to Hunk's room to vent after Shiro sent him off to bed. His worry for the red paladin consumed him so much, Lance knew he needed to talk it out with someone he trusted more than anyone before sleep was even an option.

Hunk shrugged, "Don't even mention it. It was no problem. You need someone to vent to, I'm available 24/7."

Lance was so fortunate to have such an understanding friend. He grinned genuinely and thanked the yellow paladin before dozing off in thought once more.

Hunk didn't mind the silence that filled the kitchen then; it was a sort of warm, comfortable silence that he enjoyed the spoonfulls of his goop in. That is, until Lance started to tap his fingers on the counter. It started off with just one or two fingers, but the rest of the blue paladin's flanges quickly joined in, creating a disorganized mess of sound.

Hunk furrowed his brows in confusion at Lance, and worry began to brew for the paladin when he caught a glance his friend's hands. Hunk quickly dropped his spoon into the bowl, startling Lance from his train of thought.

The blue paladin blinked himself back into the room as the yellow paladin blinked in disbelief. "Wowh," Hunk gasped, taking Lance's hand into his and bringing it closer to his face. "those don't look so good." he commented about Lance's nails. The blue paladin whipped his hand away from Hunk and crossed his arms again, turning his back to the other paladin in embarrassment. "You've been thinking about Keith a lot, huh?" Hunk asked with a sort of understanding concern.

"No, not thinking. I was worrying about Keith." Lance strictly corrected over his shoulder.

"For most of the night?" the yellow paladin asked with a raised brow.

"No, just for a bit this mor-" Lance began to explain, but then realized the tone of Hunk's voice. "Shut your quiznak, alright?" he snapped, whipping back around to Hunk. "It's too early for this crap..." Lance added as he leaned back against the counter.

Hunk couldn't help but laugh. "Lance, it's almost nine in the morning, like you said."

Just as Lance threw the paladin a look, Coran came rushing in to the kitchen, and he leaped up. "Coran! Where were you? Have you seen Keith?"

"Yes, yes I've seen him. He's doing just fine!" Coran replied merrily but didn't pause to look at Lance as he re-tied his apron at the speed of light and resumed making breakfast.

"Oh, that's great!" Hunk cheered.

"Yes, but DON'T ask him about it. He'll get very upset." the Altean then emphasized, this time taking a second to lock eyes with both paladins.

"What do you mean? Neither of us know what really happened to him." Lance stated.

"And he's not so sure himself. So, the best thing to do would just be to treat him like Keith. Don't 'baby' him, that's what he told me." Coran recalled as he rapidly mixed the yellow and green mixture he left sitting in a large bowl.

Lance couldn't understand why Keith would be offended when asked how he was doing. He looked at Hunk in confusion, hoping he had some sort of explanation. Unfortunately, the yellow paladin only shrugged, just as lost as Lance.

Just then, as Coran scooped the yellow-green mixture onto a baking tray, the alarms sounded all about the castle. "Caution: Galra spacecraft in bound." a robotic voice repeated three times before Allura came on the intercom. "All paladins, except Keith, to the control room, now! Keith, you go back to your room and stay put!" she ordered.

"Quiznak! I'm not leaving the kitchen until breakfast is made!" Coran exclaimed in frustration. "You two go. I'll meet everyone in the control room."

"So whatever you're making won't be ready before we fight? Aw, man!" Lance whined, slumping over in defeat. "Arg, looks like I'll have to settle for goop again." The blue paladin swiped the bowl Hunk held in his hands and scarfed down its remaining contents, throwing the bowl in the sink in frustration afterwards.

"Hey, be careful!" Coran exclaimed to Lance as he and Hunk made their way to the control room, as ordered. "That's ten-thousand-year-old kitchenware!"

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The red paladin sat alone in the dining hall that felt more spacious than he originally remembered. Keith was now clothed in his usual, freshly washed outfit, with his boots, belt and supply packs, jacket and all.

He fumbled with his dagger, first impatiently flipping it in the air with one hand as he waited for the breakfast his stomach beckoned, then laying it down on the table and inspecting it. He gently ran his fingertips over the length of his dagger, over every groove and scratch, then balanced it on its tip, turning it over repeatedly, his brows sharply furrowed all the while. He propped his head up with a lazy hand while nearly half of his body laid on the pristine white table.

It wasn't that Keith was bored out of his mind; quite the opposite. He struggled to remember where he'd gotten the dagger from.

Not only that, but the voice he'd been hearing kept on echoing throughout his mind, blabbering on about how worried it was about Keith like he was an injured puppy. The more it spoke, the more Keith was convinced the voice wasn'tLance's. He would never bother to worry that much about anyone but himself.

The red paladin let the knife fall with a pang onto the table as he leaned back in his chair, now frustrated more than ever. His whole being filled with a burning rage and his hands balled into fists again.

Gritting his teeth, Keith swiftly took hold of that wretched dagger, and was just about to throw it across the room when the castle alarms sounded.

A robotic voice repeated caution several times before Allura's voice came on. "All paladins, except Keith, to the control room, now! Keith, you go back to your room and stay put!" she ordered.

"Is she goddamn serious?!" Keith exclaimed to himself, throwing the knife down with the flick of his wrist and throwing himself back in his chair.

There was no point in going up to the control room and arguing, as much as Keith wanted to. He knew his argument would only last for point-five seconds for Keith to lose and be sent to his room in the end anyhow. So he let out an angry huff, lifted himself from the floating chair, and unwillingly stomped to his bedroom, leaving his dagger and its holster on the table.

His stomach still growled and his mouth felt sandy, but he didn't feel like going anywhere but his bedroom at the moment.

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Just as the blue and yellow paladins left the kitchen, Lance told Hunk he was going to find Keith and check on him, not caring if he got punched in the face for asking or not.

"Just tell Allura I stopped by the bathroom, if she asks." Lance said to his fellow paladin. "I'll be like, ten minutes."

"Alright, man." Hunk agreed, slightly disagreeing with Lance's decision deep down. But he decided it best to keep his mouth shut and let the blue paladin check on Keith. Lance had been concerned about the red paladin so much, it would have been unfair and even wrong to try to hold him back. So Hunk let him turn right towards the red paladin's room, as he turned left to the control room.

Several hallways down, Lance found Keith stomping to his bedroom that was just around the corner. The blue paladin could tell he was still fuming, seeing his hands balled-up, but he decided to run up next to him regardless.

All the while, as Keith heard footsteps approaching from behind him, his already flaming frustration only worsened. 'Great, here we go. Another oh-so-worried teammate running to see how I'm doing. Yep, whip out your tissues everyone, this is gonna get messy.'

"Hey, Keith." Lance huffed, meeting Keith's step.

"What do you want, Lance?" Keith stopped short and turned on his heal, barking his words at the blue paladin, anger boiling in his veins. However, Keith's "flames of frustration" seemed to have been doused ever so slightly the second he laid eyes on Lance. It was like he got punched in the head.

It felt like an eternity since he'd last seen Lance, let alone talked to him; he'd been so preoccupied with his training that he'd hardly given any of the paladins the light of day.

Keith wanted to explain everything to Lance, but his brooding frustration overtook all rational thinking and behavior. "Ya here to ask how I'm doing like everyone else?" Keith spat, extending his arms out at his sides.

"No," the blue paladin lied. "I- I just wanted to…" he stuttered, trying to keep his composure.

"Wanted to what? Pat me on the back and say 'everything's going to be alright'?" The red paladin continued reigning his fire.

Lance expected him to have a sour attitude, but it was difficult for him to remain lighthearted after being turned down so quickly. The boy had been stressing about Keith endlessly, and this was how he greeted him. "Yes, Keith, I'm here to ask how you're doing. You wanna know why? Because I'm fucking worried about you." Lance snapped, still catching his breath from running. He leaned forward as he cursed, adding additional emphasis to his words.

Somewhere deep down, Keith was surprised that Lance had cursed, but he didn't care to react to it at the moment. "Look, I'm not in the mood right now."

"Can you at least tell me what happened?!" Lance cried his with arms out, just as the two made it to Keith's bedroom door.

Keith scoffed, his door sliding open, registering his presence. "I don't have the patience to explain anything to you."

"Keith, please!" Lance demanded, stomping his foot in a childish manner.

The red paladin sighed and turned to face him once more. "You're telling me no one filled you in?" he asked with his arms crossed.

"NO! Who had the fucking time to fill me in? Hunk and Pidge don't know what's going on with you either!" Lance explained, but more accurately screamed. Keith only blinked in response, his brows lightening on his forehead. "And, quite frankly, I don't want to hear it from someone else." Lance admitted, bringing himself back down to- Aris. "I want to hear it from you…"

Lance looked to the side and crossed his arms, this time in an uncomfortable manner. He debated saying his next words, but they ended up slipping from his lips. "I miss your voice." he practically whispered.

Before he uttered anything in reply, Keith had an epiphany of sorts. His brows that had been furrowed on his forehead for so long finally lifted all the way, and his whole body seemed to relax. 'Voice?...' he asked himself, Lance's words finally registering to him. "Wait- what did you say?"

Lance popped his eyes back up to meet Keith's. He rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to divert attention from what he'd just said aloud. "Wh- um… I said I want you to tell me what's going on-"

"No, no. Before that." Keith took a step closer toward Lance, his eyes sharply focused on the blue paladin's.

Lance's face grew hot and he could only shrug in reply, uncomfortable with the sudden confrontation. 'Before that? What could I have said a minute ago, that caused you to react now?' he asked Keith mentally.

"You said you were worried about me?" Keith recalled.

"Yeah. What of it?" Lance nodded, then shrugged.

Keith didn't dare to reply. 'Holy shit. No fucking way. My mind must be deceiving me.' He told himself, finally breaking eye contact and turning his face, his brows furrowing tightly in confusion once again. 'There's no way the voice in my head really is Lance's.'

Meanwhile, Lance scratched the side of his face with a raised brow. 'Well, this is certainly a turn of events.' He then remembered what he'd done to his used-to-be-manicured nails and quickly tucked his hands away, this time into his pockets.

Trying to lighten the awkward atmosphere that had fallen between them, Lance said gently, "So…? You going to tell me what's going on?"

Keith looked at him out of the corner of his eye, his heart now beating in his head; he was knocked off guard by his sudden realization. This was all too much for the young paladin to handle. How could Lance expect him to utter anything sensible?

'That Lance. He never knows when to quit… Then again… I can't necessarily say that I do. I nearly got myself killed.'

Keith shook his head and sighed hard. "Just go. They need you in the control room." He began into his room, but was quickly halted.

Lance wasn't having it. "Keith, no!" he shouted, taking hold of Keith's wrist. "You need to talk to me, please."

Keith ripped himself from the blue paladin's grip. "Lance, now's not the time." he croaked, turning his back and stepping into his bedroom. He waited for the door to shut behind him, but a certain annoying teen stood in its path.

Keith gritted his teeth as his eyes began to water for a reason he didn't bother to place. "Lance, LEAVE!" he exclaimed into the emptiness of his room.

There was a pang of silence before Keith heard Lance swallow hard and reply with, "You're welcome."

Keith would have been surprised if he hadn't wanted to thank the blue paladin all the while.

He wanted to whip himself around and pull that doofus into the tightest embrace of his life, but he didn't. He continued to stand at the foot of his bedroom with his teeth grit and his hands balled-up in fists again. He waited for Lance to step toward him, to say something more, but he didn't. He simply stepped from the doorway and left Keith alone, like he thought he wanted.

As the automatic door finally slid shut, Keith sealed his eyes and let the river of tears that brewed finally fall down his face. With a raspy groan of pain, he crossed his arms and gripped his sides, the stress ripping at his empty stomach. He fell to his knees with a thud and cried through his teeth, gripping his head and pulling at his hair.

'Why didn't I die? I should have just died.'

'No, be grateful, you dumb fuck! Lance saved your life and you're here treating him like trash?!'

'They'd all be better off without me. I'm just creating additional problems.'

'Get your ass up and eat something! You need some nutrition; you can't live off air!'

'Who says I want to live anyway?'

The battle raged on in Keith's head. He wasn't sure what demons suddenly entered his mind and ordered him to remove himself from existence; he wasn't sure of anything for that matter.

But this much he knew: the demons were his. And only he could defeat them.

No matter how much the others tried, only he could calm the blazing thunderstorm that was his mind.

But at that instant, the red paladin didn't have the will to move from his curled-up position on the floor, let alone think.

Thank you so much for reading! Reviews and favorites are noticed and appreciated. :)