{This chapter I'm regretful to inform you that this chapter is another filler and so I'm sorry but, after this is when we really get into it. It did take me a bit to get through this because I had some troubles and writers block but I think I did good for you guys. I would also like your opinion on this, in most of my other stories I write in not only the OC view but, I try to write in the other characters view as well. So I put a little part into this just to test it out so, anything in italics will be from Jax point of view. But, I'm not sure if I want to do that with this one so do you think I should? Remember to review, favorite and follow it's all important to me. I do not own the Sons of Anarchy only my own characters and anything you do not recognize.}

I was doing my hair when a knock came to my bedroom door and Jax stepped into the room. "Paige?"

"The bathroom."

I was deciding on how I wanted my hair when he stepped in and leaned on the doorway looking awkward. I knew he was still feeling bad about last night and to be honest I was feeling bad about how I had snapped on him. "Did you need something Jax?"

"I just wanted to see if you needed help putting anything into the van." He asked

I only had a backpack and a duffle bag but, he looked like he wanted to make up for last night. "Sure." I replied with a relaxed smile on my face.

"So where is the van keys?"

"The van? Oh no darling were not taking that. Grab the keys that are in the dish beside my TV in my room and go around to the back side of the cabin that's where my truck is. It's just the two bags by the door and while you're at it bring it around front but be careful with her she is my baby. By the time you do that I'll be outside."

He gave me a smile and walked away. After he walked out of my room I let out a deep sigh. What was I going to do, I couldn't be mad at him for his curiosity because I was the one that was letting my guard down. It had been years since I had done that and it felt so amazing I didn't want to stop. There was something about Jax that made him easy to talk to. I gave myself one more look in the mirror before I walked out into the bedroom. Today I had slipped on a pair of black wool leggings and a baggy white tank top that had one of rob zombie's albums on it and a red hoodie over top of that with a pair of black boots that had a buckle at the ankle. Then I had placed my hair in a high bun that was basically on top if my head. And a bandana that was folded and tied in front of it with my bangs and some hair hanging loose around it. I took one more look around my room and headed out. I walked out and Jax had already brought the truck around and was sitting in the passenger seat. "Looks you got her here without a scratch on her." I told him while I pulled myself into the truck.

"She rides nice."

"She better I put almost five grand into her so far."

"Is this the only vehicle you got?"

"Here? Yes but, I have a mustang at home and mine and Ethan's bike."

"You have a bike?"

I took note of how he skipped the part about Ethan's and really I don't understand why I haven't sold it, but anyone who has taken an interest in it I know won't take care of it like it deserves "Yes I do it's a Yamaha R1 nothing like what you boys ride but I also have a dyna but, I got in an accident with her a few years ago and haven't gotten around to taking her to a shop."

"Well maybe if we still talk after this I can get that looked at for you."

I smiled at him, "Thank you Jaxson. Did you take care of the cat?"

"Yeah."

"Good let's get going we have someone to meet."

"I thought we were meeting Charles later."

"It's not Charles, I have someone else we need meet first."

I put my truck in drive and started to drive to Oakland.

~~SOA~~

After a few short stops and couple hours later we arrived at my destination. It was just outside of Oakland and the man we were going to meet was the only person I trusted now a days. I turned the truck off and looked towards Jax. He must have been so tired as he now was passed out cold turkey in the seat beside me. He looked so peaceful and undisturbed in his sleep like he didn't have a care in the world. Before I knew it I was reaching forward to push some hair out of his face. "Jax? Hey Jaxson?"

I pulled my fingers away just in time for him to look up at me, "Hmm, are we here?"

"Yes, and Jax he isn't very fond of bikers but, I've told him about you so don't take anything he says personally? I need him to help me and dinner there isn't optional. But, after we will go stay the night at the hotel and then we will talk about your part in all this there. Deal?"

"Deal."

I leaned back and pulled the blanket that was in the back over the duffel bag and stepped out of the truck. "Paige?" I turned around to face Mike.

Mike was a six foot two pound man of muscle. He was in the army for half of his life and after that he joined up with the FBI as a sniper on a tactical team and once he retired he just helped out people like me. He was one of the people who helped me through Kristine and Ethan's death. A huge grin appeared on my face and I went running into his arms. "Mikey!"

I could feel his chest rumble at my shout and he pulled me away to give me a look over. "Oh sugar pea you look like you haven't slept in days?"

"What can I say I'm nervous?"

"Don't be I know you can do it. Is this the boy?"

"Um yes Mike this is Jax, Jax Mike." I let go of Mike and he stepped away from me to shake Jax's hand.

I could tell that Mike was trying hard to be nice as his jaw was clenched tight. They seemed to stare at each other for a few moments before they released at the musical sound of Mikey wife calling us in. Samantha was beautiful and a lot of people had taken a look at Mikey and her and didn't think they were together but, I always thought they were perfect for each other. She was no taller than me but, was really tiny in body structure compared to me. She had a dark auburn color to her hair, her hair reached her middle back that was always straight as a needle I swear to god. She had emerald green eyes, high cheekbones, very light skin and thin lips. But, one thing was sure with her that you would never expect from looking at her but, she was very big into family and when she got angry you had one of two options run or stand your ground. I had never been on the receiving end if that but, I had seen it more than once. Hell she even put Mikey in his place a time or two. We ran towards each other and gripped onto each other. She was like my mother, I loved her more than anything and I missed her so much. We pulled away from each other, "Oh Paige I have missed you so much, I got worried when I hadn't heard from you the last few months but Mike said you were on a job?" She started to lecture me, oh lord here it comes, "You know I hate your job why you don't come work with me at the bakery I will never know."

I grimaced at her meant ion of the job, I was never much into doing stuff like that, I liked the action. Don't get me wrong I loved to cook and bake but, not for a living. "Oh don't look at me like that, I'm just worried you know...well at least you didn't show up with blood on you like last time."

The last job was close to here and it hadn't gone as planned, I ended up getting shot in the arm and when I shot the guy he was on top of me. So the blood was inevitable. I was hurt and this was the only place I could think of to go. I was scolded for hours by Samantha. "Well you will be happy to know that I plan on keeping this one alive," I laughed and motioned towards the house, "Shall we?"

We all walked into the house and Jax surprised me and everyone else right away. As we entered the house Jax took off his cut and hung it on his arm, I knew he was doing this as a respect thing towards Mikey and I couldn't help but smile at his gesture. Mikey seemed to be thrown off by this and I don't blame him. Jax looked around slightly awkward before Samantha broke the silence by a clap of her hands, "Well, boys and ladies dinner is on the table let's eat!"

Jax let out a slight laugh at her enthusiasm and we walked into the dining room. She had made her family's chili with some freshly baked buns with some wine on the table. I was excited, I loved her home cooked meals it reminded me of Nana's and at times I needed that when I got homesick. We ate in silence for a while until Mikey started his interrogation, "so Jax, how long have you been a part of the MC?"

I gave Mikey a glare that warned him to be nice and after I looked to Jax whose eyes made contact with mine while he swallowed his food and placed his spoon down. "Well, ever since I could ride a bike, I guess."

"So then how long have you been a vice president for?"

"A while, when my dad passed."

"So when Clay became the president he gave you his old spot?"

"Wow you have done your research Mikey." I said with a warning tone in my voice

"Calm down Paige, I have a past with his president I'm just curious how the old man is doing." Mike replied with a wave of his hand but his eyes never leaving Jax, "So do you enjoy what you do?"

"You mean being a mechanic?" Jax smart mouthed.

We all knew that wasn't all he was but, Mike was still trying to take it a step farther. "Don't lie to me boy I am not some stupid fool. You are in my house you do best to remember that."

That was it, I stood up and slammed my hands onto the table causing everyone to look at me with alarm, "Enough! Mike you know better than to ask a club member about what they do behind closed doors. Jax has done nothing to you to deserve your rudeness. I don't care if he is lying you know he can't tell you the truth! God dammit Mike he gave you respect by taking off that cut when he stepped through your door is that not enough?"

Jax seemed to relax at my words and Mike looked slightly ashamed at his meaningless banter. I took a steady breathe before Samantha stood up and spoke, "Well I believe you lot have some business to discuss now play nice. I'll just go into the other room and get some desert."

After she left the room and I had sat down Mike finally asked, "So let's go over what you want me to do. After the handoff we will take out the people around the building and then I will stay out and watch for any surprises outside. But how long am I going to need to wait for you?"

"I have told you that I don't know it depends on how angry I am when I see him...I don't plan on letting him go easily...he tortured us for days..."

"I know sweet pea but, I'm not leaving you alone in this. I have borrowed some head pieces so that you can keep in contact with me so, I know if you're in trouble. Cuz' pretty boy here won't be of any help."

"What?" Jax asked confused

Mikey looked between me and Jax before his stern gaze fell on me. I felt like I was two inches tall under this gaze I flinched away out of habit, "You haven't told him, you kidnap him and drag him along for this yet you say nothing about what you're planning?"

"I was going to I just figured I would later, "I wanted to add when he couldn't back out to the list but, I choose to keep that comment to myself.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, "Do you at least have everything you need? I don't want you going in unprepared."

I nodded my head and after that the conversation stopped because Samantha came in with her strawberry cheesecake and everyone dug in.

(Jax p.o.v.)

I hadn't felt this stressed since Abel's birth, I know that she had warned me going in how this man was going to be and I respected that as this Mike guy was obviously important to her. But, he knew Clay and by the way he asked me about him it wasn't a happy one I knew something happened there and I had a gut feeling it was one of the reasons he didn't like bikers. I normally wouldn't have taken my cut off for anyone but, I thought it would help lower the hostility towards me and judging from everyone's shocked expressions I had managed to do that by just a little. I was even more curious as to what her plan was now after listening to her conversation with Mike. I was a little angry at the fact that apparently I won't be able to protect her and even though I doubt that she needed the protecting, after the back story of her life I couldn't help but, feel this need to protect her.

We were now leaving after Paige had made time arrangements with Mike and had received the Bluetooth she was going to be using to communicate with him. I was placing the cut on and walking down the stairs when Mike called me to the side. I was slightly nervous but, I pushed the feeling to the side and walked over to him. "Listen, I don't really know you and I'm sure you know how I feel towards your…your…profession but, she will be alone in there and I need you to watch out for her…if not for me or her but, then for her family. I can tell that there is something going on between you two whether you two see it or not, she seemed comfortable and trusting towards you and that is something I haven't seen in years. I don't know how much she told you but, after that year she was abandoned by her only living relative and she crashed for a while. This is something she needs to do but, I can only do so much from where I will be. I want you to realize son that if she don't come back in one piece you will be wishing that you were left to Charles but, that is if you make it out. She is damn insistent on keeping you alive and that's her choice but, watch her."

I knew that he wasn't meaning to come across the way he was, he was worried for her and it was obvious that she was important to him. I nodded my head and before I turned away he said, "Listen son I knew your father…your real father…John was an old friend of mine and he helped me through a lot and trust me when I say this, that crash was no accident."

I looked back at him, my face scrunching up, "Does Clay have anything to do with that?"

"That Jaxson is a conversation for another time but, your dad was a great man and his death was tragic but don't let that control what you do with your life from there. Your dad had a very different view of the world he was living in the end and I was probably one of the very few who knew as such."

Could he have been talking about what dad wrote in his journal? I completely turned to face him and was about to ask him the question when Paige called out to me from the truck. Before I had a chance to react Mike was beside me as he slapped a hand to my back, "Remember what I said."

And with that he walked away. I walked back towards Paige and I could tell she grew more and more nervous as the days passed but, he was right she needed to do this. I heard the story and may have only seen the one scar on her shoulder blade but, I was sure there was more than just that.

(End of Jax p.o.v.)

Mike called Jax over to where he stood and as curious as I was to what he wanted to talk to him about, I knew that they needed to be left alone. I walked to the driver side door and turned to give Samantha a big hug. Once she let go we leaned against the truck and she asked the one question I was waiting for all night. "Are you sure this is what you want sweet pea? We both know that this is something you have been working for, for a while but, are you sure?"

This was a question I had asked myself many, many times. I knew that this wouldn't be something my sister would want but, he did just hurt me or didn't just kill them. They torture us for days and there was still something I had left out of the story when I told Jax and only Samantha actually knew this. But, when I went to protect her…I was pregnant I had just found out and when Charles had found out this tad bit of information he thought it would be priceless to make me watch him not only kill Ethan and Kristine but also the life that had not yet grown inside me. My chance at being a mother was gone and the constant reminder was the scar on my hip. I subconsciously started to rub at my side and when I realized this I stopped and took a deep breath, "I know and I have thought about it a lot. But, it's always the same and I'm too far in to back out now. Trust me Samantha, thank you for the concern and I love you for it."

"Okay well be careful okay."

I nodded my head and shouted for Jax it was about time that we left. Mike came up and gave me a quick hug, "Okay I will see you tomorrow, drive safe."

We had arrived at the hotel which was only about a half an hour from the docks and Jax had just finished bringing in the bags, I yawned and stretched before falling onto the bed letting out a little giggle as I did so. I sat up in the bed and started to take out my hair and jewelry. Jax sat on the bed adjacent to mine obviously waiting for me to explain. I looked down at my feet and started to explain, "So here is the plan. I am going to the meet with you tied and gagged and I will hand you off to the men that Charles will have sent to meet me. Then they will take you away this gives me a chance to survey the area and figure out how many people are around me and how many I need to kill to get in the warehouse where you will be with Charles. Trust me when I say you will be safe, Charles likes to talk so I know he won't kill you right away. Then long story short I will come in save the day, kill him and we will leave together."

I knew it wasn't going to be as easy as I tried to make it seem but, it was fool proof. Jax seemed to ponder over this before he nodded his head in agreement. "So I will be going in there defenseless?"

"Well I can't exactly send you in there with a gun right? So yes you will but, I'll be prepared enough for both of us. Please just trust me?"

I know that I was asking a lot but, a lot was riding on his co-operation. He nodded his head "Okay, I'll go along with this…mind if I take a shower?"

I shook my head and he stood up to go to the shower, he took his cut off and laid it gently on the bed before he strode to the bathroom, taking his shirt off mid-way. I couldn't help but, marvel at his back and the way the muscles moved with him. it wasn't only that I loved tattoos I had a few of my own and I know that everyone in the club has the reaper on them but, his covered his whole back and I had to turn away to hide my blush. It had been about five minutes since Jax had gotten in the shower and I could hear the little pitter patter of rain hitting the building. I pulled a chair up to the window and moved the curtain just slightly out of the way. I started to toy with my necklace once again as I watched the rain hitting the ground. After a few moments I pulled out my phone and dialed a number I hadn't in years. It rang three times before it reached voicemail, I should've known she wouldn't answer, "Hey nana…it's been a while but, I just wanted to check on you and see how you were holding up…I miss you so much and I know how angry you are with me but, I'm trying to fix it I hope you know how sorry I have been lately…anyway I love you please call me back…"

I hung up and clenched the phone to my chest. I wanted to hear her voice once more before I faced this just in case I didn't make it out. I started to rub my stomach where my scar was and I couldn't help but imagine what it life would have been like if I didn't go back that day if I had let the exchange happen. I knew they both still would have died but, the life that was in me didn't need to. It was harmless and had no chance to protect themselves. That was supposed to be my job, I was supposed to be a mother. I felt the tears leak from my eyes and the salty taste of them entering my mouth. The whole time I was sitting there I hadn't realized Jax was out of the room until I felt someone finger on my face brushing my tears away. I didn't need to turn around to see that it was Jax instead I just faced forward and muttered, "I was supposed to be a mother…that's why I wanted to make this deal with you. I could've still worked without your help but, those months I watched you…I watched your son get taken away by the Irish…I went to stop them but, all of you came running down the docks…I know you almost lost him to the mothers drug choice and now you lost him again…I feel your pain…"

He cleared his throat, "Was it supposed to be Ethan's?"

"Yes…I tried to protect my stomach all the time I was being tortured and Ethan made the mistake of pleading for me to be released because I was pregnant…so before Charles left me to die he stabbed me in the side…I laid on that cold floor and clung to the life that I had just lost…the part of me that I had just lost and probably the only chance I will ever have at becoming a mother again…"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because look at me Jax I'm a wreck…I don't trust people, I'm on the run for most of my life…no one has taken an interest in me in years…besides I'm never in one place long enough to try."

"Have you ever tried to stay or get attached to things?"

"No…"

"Well, hey I'll make you a deal when I clear all this up with the club…why don't you stay?"

I whipped my head around to face him. "What?" I asked bewildered

"We could need someone like you in the future? And besides when I get Abel back…I might need some help with him you know and maybe we could work something out…you need a home Paige, if I understand anything at all it's the fact that after you do this you won't have this ultimate goal anymore right? So why not make a new one to start a new life in Charming?"

I looked at him like he was nuts at first but, the more he talked the more that it sunk In that maybe the one thing I was looking for in life was a place to call home in the end. "Listen Paige you don't have to make a decision right now, we still have a deal to finish. But, think about it?"

I nodded my head and brushed the remaining tears away. He grabbed onto my hand and I felt my heart leap out of my chest as he pulled me into his chest. It was at this time that I realized that he standing once more half naked in front of me and now my body was pressed up against his. It felt warm and welcoming compared to the hugs I had gotten from others. I felt like I molded in place and this scared me…I hadn't felt like this since Ethan and even then it wasn't like this…I prayed in my heart that I wasn't starting to fall for him but, I couldn't help the nagging thought that emerged after that…would it really be so bad?