Sans and Edge sat inside a cell in Sans Central Police Station, their hands handcuffed with anti-teleportation gloves developed by Science!Sans himself.
Edge glared at Sans.
"I swear to fucking god Sans, I've had enough of your shit for one day."
"pfh, i've had enough of my shit for one day too edge. you're not alone."
Edge smirked.
"Oh, so you're the humble one here now, aren't you?"
"hehe, yup."
Now that Sans wasn't being tossed around everywhere or forced to do something new, now he could actually sit down and think about-
The door to the cell shook, one of the guard Sanses unlocking it with a key.
"You two, come with me," the guard Sans said, "your trial is upon us."
Sans and Edge looked at each other, nervously.
"oh well, looks like it's now or never for us."
"Go die in a hole Sans."
"shut it you ass." The two started to shove at each other but the guard Sans got in between.
"If y'all don't stop, I'm putting you both in isolation if this trial keeps you here."
Edge laughed.
"And what are we on trial for, you pig?"
The police officer pulled out a notepad.
"Um, vandalism, annoyance, threatening the safety of multiple timelines, and ignoring a multiversal moderator."
"wait, annoyance is a felony here?" asked Sans, amused.
"It is now," laughed the police officer. Edge started thrashing in his cuffs.
"I've had it with you fucking asshole. Once I get out of these cuffs I'm going to BBZBZBZBRZBRURZBRZ"
The police officer had pulled out a taser and zapped Edge, rendering him unconscious. The officer Sans pulled out a walkie talkie.
"Yes this is Officer Hotdog 418, one of our accused just passed out…yes I tazed him…yes it was hilarious….I'll tell you later." Officer Hotdog 418 turned to Sans.
"Now you, come, unless you want to be zapped too."
Sans shrugged.
"ok."
The officer led him down twists and halls until he reached a giant set of double wooden doors.
"In you go."
Sans stared him down as he nudged open the doors with his torso and stepped into the court room. It was a lot bigger than he imagined; he didn't remember the fifty-foot tall ceiling and the sitting room for what seemed like thousands of different Sanses, a significant portion of it full. The judges panel was also elevated about twenty feet off the floor, the accused led up a floating platform to meet them. And this was all made of wood or metal.
"holy shit."
Banging came from the judge's court.
"May the accused, Classic Sans, step onto the platform."
Sans shook nervously. He held a seat on this council, and they never had a single trial since…ever. How would they handle it now?
He stepped onto the platform, which began to whir and creak as the hydraulic systems slowly began to push him upwards, where he could be seen by the judges and the rest of the Sanses observing, including the jury.
Suddenly, the platform stopped moving up and instead plummeted downward, taking Sans with it. He screamed as he crashed into the wooden circle.
"Oh ye, almost forgot." Mafia!Sans walked in dragging a passed out Edge and tossed him onto the platform. The sneaky, fedora and suit wearing, cigarette smoking gangster Mafia was not the one Sans wanted to trust. He was wanted in his AU for…a lot of things, many of them unspeakable.
Edge's skull hit the wooden floor with a crack, causing a few "yikes" to reverb from the crowd.
"well that's unfortunate." The platform began to push upwards again, and instead of taking off downwards it stopped at the top, relieving Sans of much stress. However, it instantly returned when he saw the court.
Sans' seat as the Head Judge was empty, just as he suspected. Although, if it was filled by himself, he knew there were some identity theft charges to be had later that day. Thank god that wasn't there. The name tag for his seat was labeled "sans the skeleton" in Comic Sans, his font. The spinning chair was covered in black leather, just like the rest of them.
Dream and Ink were seated next to his, left and right respectively.
"heh, now that i'm not doing a bunch of stuff i can actually focus on winning this case."
Dream, a happy-go-lucky kid from a moderator AU, had his bright staff leaning against the judge's giant podium. His face, normally bright and cheerful, was replaced with a disapproving stare. Being an embodiment of good, he and his brother Nightmare constantly fought over the stupidest of things, including apples. Of course it was apples they had to of eaten to gain their powers. Sans knew that he would have to appeal to Dream's optimistic side rather than his rarely shown "shook" side in order to get his vote.
Ink, one of the top AU moderators, ran the Creative Realm, a place where he could monitor most of the AUS through small drawings on paper. He always had a sash with his paint vials strapped on, his giant paintbrush his main tool for fighting. He had a copy of Sans' hoodie jacket tied around his waist (Sans still didn't know how he got it), with a small black splotch of ink just to the left of his chin. His eyes always changed to represent his mood, and he occasionally vomited whenever he got nervous or excited. His eyes were thunderstorms today; no luck for Sans or Edge.
"hey ink, hey dream, how's it going," Sans laughed. Ink sighed and shook his head, his paintbrush strapped to his back.
"Sans, don't try to play buddy buddy with me, it's not going to work."
Edge moved from the ground, holding his head, prompting "oohs" and the occasional "ha, you owe me ten bucks."
"Urgh, what the fuck happened?" Edge tried to grab his head but he realized his hands were still cuffed. His red eye returned and he slumped over.
"Dammit, we're still in this shit of a mess." He wormed his way up the side of the platform to stand up.
"Now, Sans, Fell," said Delta!Sans, who sat to Dream's left, which was right from Sans' perspective.
"You two are accused of vandalism, annoyance to fellow Sanses, and threatening the safety of this entire Sans utopia. Do you understand these charges?"
Delta came from an AU where he came desperate enough to absorb one of the human souls to gain its powers, in this case the Bravery soul. This changed his personality from a Classic Sans to a fusion of Classic + Bravery. Not the typical kind of thing you'd see. He could be a bit reckless and crazy, but his powers benefitted enough that he was a force to be reckoned with. Just like with Dream, staying on his good side would end well for him.
"Why would you-" Sans stared at Edge with his aqua/yellow eye, causing Edge to shut up. Sans didn't want Edge messing anything up here.
"yes, we understand. but where's our lawyer?"
"Look behind you Sans," gestured Ink. The shadow of a giant stood over Sans, their face and body much taller than his. Or anyone's here, in fact. Smoke spewed off of their face, blocking the light.
Oh wait, it's just Carrot. The Underswap Papyrus had managed to find his way into Sans Central, even though Papyrus Place is where you should typically find him. Apparently someone had decided to call this judge over to this hangout. Blue's older brother, nothing could exactly faze him. He was much more similar to Sans than he was to Sans' Papyrus.
"Heh. Wassup Sans." Sans stepped back, shocked.
"one, how did you get here. two, why are you here?"
"Ink invited me. And I'm your lawyer."
"You're our f-" Carrot's right eye glowed orange in the back of his eye socket, shutting Edge up once again.
"Not around my brother you fool."
"S-sorry…" whispered Edge.
Science!Sans, the Sans who came from the AU where Sans was Alphys, was to Ink's right. He wore these giant glasses whose frames continuously changed shape, contrary to what ordinary physics would suggest. He built robots, served under the royalty, and made some pretty cool stuff, like the cuffs Sans was in.
"Guys, I suggest t-taking this a bit faster, my c-chemicals are going to overflow in a few-"
"Gah, Science, we told you we should have scheduled this earlier," laughed Delta. Science fidgeted with his glasses.
"uh hey, are we going to start, or…"
"Yeah guys, maybe we should begin." Altertale!Sans coughed on the side, taking the last seat next to Delta. He came from the AU where Sans was in Toriel's place, a generally gentle fellow who made some pretty damn good homemade hot pockets. He had a soft heart, but his love for puns was no weaker than any of the others in this room. Except for maybe Sans himself.
Error's seat was empty, as expected. After being banned from Sans Central, the AU hunter had gone missing for quite awhile. It was decided back when the Council of Sanses was formed that a force that wasn't necessarily "good" should be added to the Council in order to balance it out, in case someone like Dust or Nightmare came up as the accused. The chair on Sans' far right, next to Science's, was just collecting dust at this point.
"We will now begin the trial," shouted Dream, who slammed a mallet on the wooden circle.
"Will you two plead guilty to these charges?" asked Ink politely, following council protocol. Unfortunately for Sans and Edge, Carrot wasn't interested in doing such things.
Carrot slammed his hands on his podium.
"Sir, neither of my clients are guilty of what you have accused them of sir. They were just trying to protect this place from a rogue Sans, and that is all that there was to it. I do not see how they maliciously made an attempt to kill all of you."
"Let's show them the evidence then," muttered Delta, nodding to Ink, who pressed a button on the podium. A giant holo-screen appeared, showing security footage of Sans and Edge fighting each other, proceeding with Sans blasting the reactor. Sans shrunk into his hoodie, ashamed.
"hehe…"
Carrot sweated a bit.
"As you can see," explained Altertale!Sans, "Sans was the one who broke the reactor core."
"it was on accident," shouted Sans, "can't we get this over with?"
Delta hit his leg on the table standing up, holding his knee in pain.
"S-so…you admit it. You damaged the core."
"yes?"
Edge continued to stay silent.
"Regardless of what else could possibly happen," stated Dream, "you are still responsible for the damage posed on our reactor. Luckily for us, Engineer!Sans was able to save the day."
Cheers erupted and the Sans on the rocket beach chair raised a beer. Whoever decided to combine the TF2 engineer and Sans was a genius.
"Ahem," coughed Edge, "does anyone here have any idea that this is fucking stupid? I mean like, nothing here is being taken serious, you guys are just mad that we captured Saness, and I want out of these fucking handcuffs."
Carrot waved his finger in the air, dissolving the handcuffs.
"Couldn't you have done that before you fucking asshole?"
"Watch it Edge, or I'll put them back on."
"ORDER IN THE COURT!" shouted Delta, who decided to use his head as the mallet.
"I will not have you stain our court with this mockery."
"heh, you have no guidance without me at the helm. you all know that, deep deep down."
"Sans," sighed Ink, "this isn't helping your case."
"well why wouldn't you just-"
Suddenly, loud footsteps came from below. A guard Sans had stumbled through the doors, blood oozing out of his mouth. His dark blue uniform was riddled by bullet holes and covered in blue wires. The crowd of Sanses gasped in shock.
Sans' eyes disappeared. Only one person could deal such a thing.
The platforms fell down to the ground as the guard Sans fell to the ground, chuckling to himself. Ink ran over to the fallen Sans and lifted him up so he was leaning on the wall. His eyes were darting everywhere, blood pooling on the ground.
"Ha…so this is how it ends for me, huh?" the guard muttered. Ink kneeled in front of him and looked into his eyes, his own both white circles. Ink was taking this very seriously. Most of the others were surrounding Ink and observing from the outside.
"Hey, stay with us. What's going on out there?"
"He's…he's back."
"Who's back?!" shouted Dream.
"Him. The AU Destroyer." All of their eyes vanished.
"Error." The guard's eyes closed and his head slouched back, motionless. His body slowly began to turn to dust until all that was left was something that resembled snow and a pile of a uniform. Ink stood up, solemn. A Sans playing TAPS on the trombone could be heard in the background.
Ink turned to the group of judges and accused, Carrot included. He nodded to the Papyrus, who vanished from the scene with a pop. There was no need for Carrot to be involved in this Sans quarrel.
"judge, are our charges dropped?"
Ink looked around towards the others, searching for any help. They were all more focused on preparing to fight Error rather than charge Sans.
"Yes Sans, for now." He smiled and waved his paintbrush around.
"We're going to have some fun," Ink laughed. Blue jumped down from one of the stands and landed next to Sans.
"MWEH HEH HEH! ERROR IS HERE?!"
Ink's eyes turned purple.
"Yes, Blue."
"I WILL TURN ERROR INTO A HOOMAN THEN CAPTURE HIM!" Blue's eyes turned into stars, confusing Sans.
"where did that come from?"
Ink shrugged.
"Doesn't matter. What's important is stopping Error before he can destroy Sans Central."
Sans and most of the other Sanses in that group teleported outside, their eyes blazing. Ink appeared from an ink puddle in front of them, leading the group.
"Oh, looks like he's just trying to have coffee," laughed Science. Altertale!Sans rolled his eyes.
"If by coffee you mean picking up Bone Appétit and shaking the building with his wires, then yes. He's just having some coffee," he muttered.
Error was supported mid-air by support wires, his glitchy voice laughing maniacally. His body was covered in red, blue, and black Error signs, which transferred over to other things that came close to him. What seemed like hundreds of blue wires extended from his body, lots of them shaking the coffee house/restaurant Sans and the group were in only a few hours ago. Occasionally, Error would spot a rogue Sans trying to flee, then would wrap that Sans' body in blue wires and corrupt their soul.
"Grrgh," grumbled Ink. He dropped back into his ink puddle and reappeared on top of the coffee house.
"O-Oh, Ink. It's s-s-so nice to see you again." Ink pointed his paintbrush at Error.
"Come on Error, we talked about this! You can target any place but this. Of course, I'll still stop you either way."
"Huh, still as cocky as ever Ink. Y-you never learn."
Ink cursed to himself and teleported back.
"No luck. You guys wanna fight him?"
Sans shrugged.
"i mean, it's up to you guys in the end."
"I'm tapping out of this one," muttered Science, "I have places to go." He tossed up a metal disc, which unfolded into a portable portal (heh).
"I'm with Science on this," replied Alter, "I'm going to go back home now."
Dream walked over to Ink and put his hand on his shoulder, causing Ink to turn and look at him.
"I'm going to have to go back to my AU and check to see if Nightmare is causing any trouble. Sorry about this." Dream summoned a light portal and disappeared, followed by Alter and Science, whose portal followed them out. Ink turned to Delta, Sans, Edge, and Blue.
"Well boys, what do you say about a little tussle with danger?" boasted Delta.
Sans chuckled and summoned a Gaster Blaster, eager to join the fun.
"even though you may have a human soul d, you can't beat the original."
"MWEH HEH HEH!"
"Fucking hell…now this?"
The other three turned and stared at Edge.
"Okay okay, I'm in…against my own will."
Ink nodded.
"Let's do it."
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter of Sans, Sans, and Sans. If you liked this story or have constructive criticism for me, please let me know.
All AUs and the original Undertale belong to their creators, I do not own any of these characters.
See ya next time!
-Blox