A/N: Whew! Another crazy week at work over! I sincerely apologize for the very slow updates. I hope the content is worth the wait.
Usual disclaimers apply.
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Landslide
Rebecca knew by the look in Leo's eyes that she had hurt him deeply when she had asked him to leave. But right now, the last thing she wanted was to talk to him. The image that he pointed out to her on the screen both shocked and terrified her. She needed some time to think and to get a perspective on what was happening.
There had been no indications to her that she was pregnant. Especially since the miscarriage she had experienced a few years before had been very traumatic. The doctor at that time had been skeptical that she would ever have children because of the internal damage she had sustained. She did not consider the possibility of becoming pregnant.
Watching the image on the screen, Rebecca could only stare in disbelief. The baby that she carried was so tiny, no more than the size of her thumb. At this point, he or she was hardly recognizable as human. She was obviously only weeks pregnant. But a heartbeat could clearly be seen.
Rebecca brushed her fingertips lightly over the screen, trying to make it more real. A cold chill traveled down her back. She was beginning to re-live a nightmare.
Six years earlier she had found out she was pregnant. At the time she was dating a former high school classmate. Mainly because of the broken heart that Leo had left in his wake. She was three months into the pregnancy when they were married. Four months later began the abuse and torture that was nearly a daily occurrence thereafter.
Now, history seemed to be repeating itself. Only this time, she wasn't the same person. Not the one that had felt helpless and the need to be taken care of by someone else. She had become fiercely independent and was beginning a promising career in Starfleet. She could take care of herself and had intended to continue doing just that.
What Rebecca hadn't planned on was becoming involved with Leo again. He was the last person in the galaxy that she wanted to see again. Had she known that he was also in Starfleet, she would have done a little research before taking an assignment on the Enterprise. She had held on to the hurt and anger that he had caused for a very long time. The strain that put on their current relationship was evident in the frequent quarrels they were having.
Now she was pregnant? It was the last thing that she would have considered. It was the last thing she wanted. What she wanted was to never be dependent on anyone and to always be in control. And yet, looking now at the tiny little life growing in her body, she was feeling helpless, afraid and vulnerable.
The sound of someone clearing their throat caught her attention. Captain Kirk was standing in the entryway of her cubicle. Rebecca quickly pushed the monitor screen away, hoping he wouldn't be curious enough to try and look at it. She quickly wiped away the tears that she just now realized were wetting her cheeks.
"Hello, Captain."
"Good morning, Rebecca." He gave her one of his award winning smiles. "How are you feeling?" He asked as he moved closer to her bedside.
"Very well, thank you, Sir." Rebecca gave a small smile back, pushing herself up into a sitting position. "I hope they let me out of here later today."
"I spoke with Doctor An'Le. She believes it is a possibility."
"Sir….." Rebecca bit her lip with uncertainty.
Jim waited for her to continue. "Yes?"
Rebecca took a deep breath. She hadn't had time to think things through, but right now a possibility was presenting itself. "Sir, I'd like to resubmit my request for transfer." She hoped that her uncertainty wasn't evident.
"What?!?" The captain looked at her incredulously. "I sent that to you kinda as a joke. I didn't think you would still be considering it! Especially now with a b………." His voice trailed off as he watched her facial features darken with anger. He realized, too late, that he shouldn't let on that he knew she was pregnant.
"He told you!" Rebecca could not believe it. She felt betrayed. "I can't believe he told you."
"Rebecca, he told me as his friend." Jim tried to reassure her. He sat down next to her on the bed. "He is very concerned about you right now."
"I can't believe he told you." She repeated in a quiet whisper.
"Don't be mad at him. He is so worried about you. He wants to be here, but he left because you asked him to."
Rebecca was silent.
"Why won't you talk to him?" Jim questioned. "Bones is really hurt that you are pushing him away right now."
Rebecca looked up into the captains eyes. "I can't go through this again."
"Rebecca, Bones loves you." He reached over to hold her hands in his. "I know that you went through hell before you joined Starfleet. I don't know all the details, but I know enough to understand why you are scared."
Rebecca hung her head, not wanting to continue eye contact. "Is there anything he doesn't tell you?"
Jim heard resignation in her voice. "I'm sure there is quite a bit."
The silence hung between them for several long moments. Jim reached up and gently lifted her chin. "You are too strong of a person to try to run away from this." He told her softly. "When you get discharged out of here, you need to go talk to Bones."
"Is that an order, Sir?" She asked defiantly.
He hesitated a moment. "No, I wouldn't do that. " He grinned at her and added half-jokingly, "Not yet, anyway."
He dropped his hand and stood. "You need to rest." He turned and stepped towards the cubicle entry. He turned before leaving. "He really does love you. He's a good man."
Rebecca watched the captain leave. Anger and uncertainty clouding her thoughts. How dare Leo tell the captain, it wasn't even necessary at this point. He had no right to discuss this with anyone, friend or not, until……….. Well, until the two of them had discussed it first. Something that she had refused to do so far. Why did Leo's best friend also have to be the Captain? She wondered ruefully.
If Leo was as worried as the captain had said, then where was he? Why had he left so easily when she asked? He could have argued and tried to stay. Rebecca knew she had hurt him when she told him to leave, she could see it in his eyes. She hadn't given him a chance to argue, she supposed.
Rebecca reached over to pull the monitor screen back around so that she could watch it. She lay back down on the bed and studied the image in front of her for a very long time. Lost in thoughts of the past and of an uncertain future. Trying to play out the different scenarios in her head, wondering which future she wanted to try and have. A future with Leo and a child, or a future with Starfleet. She was certain that there could not be a workable combination that would be all inclusive.
The decision she made would not be easy. She was afraid of the changes that she would have to make, regardless of the decision.
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