Disclaimer: I, Amaxing, am the rightful owner of both Phoenix Wright and One Piece.
OBJECTION!
"Hold it right there, Amaxing!" cried Zoro "In order for you to own One Piece, your name would have to be Oda-Sensei!!!
Amaxing: "Urk…..!"
"ALSO!!! Phoenix Wright is a NINTENDO game!"
Amaxing: Yeah…. so…? SO WHAT?
"Mr. Amaxing…"
"YOU DO NOT OWN NINTENDO!!!!!"
Amaxing: Urgh….ugh…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Lotipac Hill Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/01. 9:55 AM.
Zoro paced back and forth, his arms wrapped behind his back. Nami sat on a
chair close by, trying not to laugh.
"Zoro…" she began.
"Yeah?" He snapped.
"That suit… it looks ridiculous…"
Zoro looked down at the forest green blazer, robin egg blue dress shirt, neon
yellow tie, and bright crimson pants he had hastily bought the night before.
"Does not." He replied grumpily "It's… a fashion statement! That's what it is…"
"Whatever, pal." Nami said dismissively. "Just stop pacing, you'll make Nathan
nervous when he gets here."
"Too late to stop that I'm afraid, what with being charged with…" Nathan (for indeed, it was he) stopped. He looked over Zoro, then burst out laughing. "AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA…."
"Erm… Mr. Amarillo… it's not that bad, is it?"
"AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA…."
Lotipac Hill Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/01. 10:15 AM.
"AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA…"
"MR. AMARILLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zoro screamed.
"Erm… um, yes, forgive me, Mr. Zolo. That was rude."
"YOU THINK?"
"Right… you wished to speak to me, yes?"
"That was me." said Nami. "I thought of something else we needed to ask you."
"And?" Amarillo inquired.
"The victim… your master, Mercutio Cervantes… he had two brothers, right?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Well… where are they now?"
"Nathan looked away, all hints of laughter gone. "I… I don't know. They never
returned from wherever they went that night…"
"You mean the night of the murder?" asked Zoro.
"Yes… that's right."
"Do you think maybe one of them did it?" asked Nami, hopefully.
"NO WAY!!" yelled Nathan, defensively. "MY MASTERS WERE SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER, I'D BE SURPRISED IF THEY BOTH DIDN'T DROP DEAD WHEN MR. MERCUTIO DIED!!!!!"
"That's… pretty close," mused Zoro.
"Anyway, I refuse to believe one of them would kill the other, it's just not
possible."
"I'd have to say you're dead then, Mr. Amarillo," came a voice from the
doorway.
I know that voice…"William Laws" said Zoro, and indeed, it was the lanky prosecutor who stood in
the doorway, a smug smile firmly planted on his face. Next to him…
"THANKS A LOT FOR REMEMBERING ME, BUB, NOT!!!"
"Detective Spade!" exclaimed Nami.
"At least someone remembered me…" the officer said, blushing.
"Save your breath for the trial, Trace" snapped Laws. "So glad you remembered
me, Mr. Gorgon Zolo, but please, I told you before, I'm just a Bill."
"YEAH!" Spade yelled. "HE'S ONLY A BILL!!"
"AND HE'S SITTING HERE ON LOTIPAC HILL!!" Nami chimed in.
Silence.
"Aw, c'mon!" Nami pleaded. "Can you honestly say you didn't see that
coming?"
"Right…" Laws said, uneasily. "Anyway, I just came to wish you good luck, Mr.
Zolo."
"Oh… um… thanks…" Zoro began.
"Because that's the only way you're going to win." Bill finished.
Silence again.
"Aw c'mon, you got to admit, that was a good one!" Laws said, with another
smug smile.
"HA HA HA!" Spade forced. "Good one, sir!"
"Thank you, we'll be leaving now." They left (duh).
Sycophant…"OOOH! You're vocabulary's gotten so much better, Zoro!" Nami said,
surprised.
"Vacu… what?" asked Zoro, confused.
"Nothing…"
Lotipac Hill Courthouse. 8/01. 10:30 AM.
BANG BANG BANG! The judge's gavel rang through the courthouse.
"The trial of Mr. Nathan Amarillo will now come to order!"
"The prosecution is ready, your honor!" blurted Zoro, hoping to impress.
OBJECTION!
"Mr. Zolo!" taunted Laws. "I'm the prosecution, not you!"
"Objection sustained" the judge nodded.
Crap… not a good first impression…"Will the prosecution make its opening statement?" prompted the judge.
Laws' voice rang through the courtroom. "At midnight on the 31st, Mercutio Cervantes was stabbed to death in his home. The only man on the premises at the time was the defendant. Upon further examination of the crime scene, decisive evidence was found that tied the already-obviously-guilty man to the murder." Laws paused, shaking his head in disbelief. "Why bother even having a trial, your honor?"
"It does seem like a very open and shut case, yes. Your evidence, Mr. Laws?"
"The prosecution calls Detective Tracy Spade to the stand, he will present the
necessary evidence, your honor."
"Very well, Mr. Spade! To the stand!"
Detective Spade hurried up to the stand, and stood quickly to attention. "YES
SIR!" he shouted.
"Mr. Spade, your testimony please."
"YES SIR!"
"We received a call, oh, a little after midnight, we rushed to the scene
immediately!"
"We immediately arrested the only person at the scene, Mr. Amarillo!
"Upon further investigation, we found that the knife sticking out of the victim belonged to the defendant. The autopsy report confirmed that the victim had died from being stabbed by the knife."
"There's no other way, it had to be Mr. Amarillo!"
"Very well, Mr. Spade. The report and the knife are accepted into evidence."
Autopsy report: M. Cervantes died from several stab wounds, one in the head, one near the right arm, one by the right thigh, one below the stomach. All wounds were administered within the same minute.
Amarillo's Knife: A ten-inch buck knife. Covered in M. Cervantes' blood most of the way up the blade. Bears Nathan's fingerprints.
"Well then, that's convenient." Remarked the judge. "I see no room for doubt…"
OBJECTION!
"Your honor!" yelled Zoro "What about my right to cross-dress the witness!?!?!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?" yelled Detective spade.
"CROSS EXAMINE, YOU NIMROD!" screamed Nami. "CROSS
EXAMINE!!!"
"Erm… Yes, that's what I meant, your honor." Zoro stuttered.
The judge sighed. "Very well, Mr. Zolo. But this better not be a waste of time."
"Yes… thank you, your honor." Zoro left his seat, and began pacing in front of the judges bench. "Mr. Spade… are you absolutely sure that Mr. Amarillo was alone in the house at the time?"
"Yup" the detective replied, "We did a full search of the entire house. No one
else was there, not even a mouse!"
OBJECTION!
"MR. SPADE!" yelled Laws. "You will refrain from idle joking on the stand!"
"Yes sir..."
"When would you say you arrived at the house?" queried Zoro.
"Around 12: 15, I'd say. There wouldn't have been much time to mess with the
scene, if that's what you're driving at."
"And you said that report absolutely confirmed that the stab wounds were
inflicted by the knife?"
"Yes sir."
OBJECTION!
"Mr. Spade" began Zoro.
"NOWHERE ON THIS REPORT DOES IT SAY THAT!!!"
BANG BANG
"The defense will refrain from wanton yelling!" the judge declared.
"But… I like yelling…" objected Zoro.
"Mr. Zolo..."
"Ok, fine. But still! This report does not say anything like that!" He smacked his
desk. "Ergo!"
"THIS KNIFE…IS NOT DECISIVE EVIDENCE!!!"
OBJECTION!
"MR. ZOLO!" yelled Laws. "THE KNIFE WAS FOUND STICKING OUT OF
THE VICTIM'S BODY! IT HAD TO BE THE MURDER WEAPON!"
OBJECTION!
"NOT SO!" snapped Zoro. "IT COULD HAVE BEEN PLACED AFTER THE
KILLING OCCURRED!"
The crowd murmured.
BANG BANG!
"ORDER, ORDER!" yelled the judge. "Mr. Laws, do you have proof that the
knife was the murder weapon?"
"Actually, I do your honor" laws said, nonchalantly.
"WHAAAAAAAT?" yelled Zoro.
"You see… there was a witness to this crime. A WITNESS WHO SAW THE
VERY MOMENT OF THE MURDER!!!"
The court became agitated.
BANG BANG BANG!!! "ORDER! ORDER!!"
Double Crap! I forgot about the witness!
"Mr. Laws!" cried the judge. "Bring in this witness, now!"
"Yes, your honor. The prosecution calls Ms. Lily Flowers to the stand!"
The woman who took the stand next was a petite one. In her mid-twenties, with
long, flowing hair died purple.
Doesn't anyone in this courtroom have normal-colored hair?
"Well the judge has white hair," muttered Nami.
"He has a white afro though, so no. And stop with the whole mind-reading
thing."
"Witness" Laws said. "Please state your name and occupation."
"OMG!" cooed Lily "You're like, such a hottie Mr. Prosecutor!"
Laws blushed. "Um….well….name? please?"
The witness would not be distracted. "Oh, what with your crimson robes and
those leather pants, your like, on fire baby!"
"Name…."
"And you!" She said, turning to Zoro. "You look like an adorable little clown in
that outfit! Can I squeeze your… nose please?" She batted her eyelashes at Zoro.
Urk! Too…cutsie… must… run…
The fact that Ms. Flowers was now fawning on Zoro apparently did not sit well
with him (A/N: Woorrrrdy). He slammed his desk. "NAME! OCCUPATION! NOW!"
"Oh…: Lily cooed, her lip trembling. "Have I been a bad girl? I'm sorry, I'll be good." She straightened herself up. "Name: Lily Flowers. Occupation: Florist. Now: Um… it's like 10:45, right?"
The judge nodded. "Yes, indeed, it is 10:45."
Wow… thanks for verifying your honor.
Nami smacked Zoro. "Be respectful!"
"They're my thoughts! MY THOUGHTS!"
"Ms. Flowers" the prosecutor started "Could you describe what you witnessed
for the court?"
"Anything for you, cutie."
"Lets see… it was around midnight, and I was just about to go to bed…"
"I glanced out the window, and then…like, I saw it, the stabbing!"
"And the weapon… was a knife! That knife!"
That's it?
"That's it?!?" mused Nami.
"You think I should say something?" asked Zoro.
"Worth a shot."
HOLD IT!
"Your honor…" Zoro began "Doesn't this testimony seem a bit… vague?"
OBJECTION!
"Whether or not this testimony is vague, it shows one thing."
"THE KNIFE WAS, INDEED, THE MURDER WEAPON!"
Court goes through bustle and hustle.
"Mr. Zolo." The judge said sternly "you may 'cross-dress' the witness now."
Zoro sweat dropped. "Thank you, your honor…"
"Ms. Flowers… isn't it kind of dark around midnight?"
"Yeah… so?"
"How did you see a knife from across the street?"
"My light was on… their light was on… it wasn't hard, my windows on the same
floor as theirs and everything."
"Right, the window…erm… why did you look out the window?"
"Hm?"
"Well, if you were going to bed…"
OBJECTION!
"Why the witness looked out the window is irrelevant to this case!" objected Laws.
OBJECTION!
"IT IS VERY RELEVANT YOUR HONOR!!" Zoro shot back.
The judge was impressed. "Yes…well, continue Mr. Zolo."
"It's relevant?" Nami whispered.
"Well… maybe not… I just got fed up with Laws yelling objection so…"
Nami sweat dropped. "Why Zoro? Why?"
"ANYWAY!" Zoro continued. "Why did you look out the window Ms.
Flowers?"
"Well, I saw the two people… struggling."
"You saw them… struggling…y'know, fighting. The victim didn't want to be
stabbed after all…"
Well that seems reason… Zoro gasped.
OBJECTION!
"Ms. Flowers!" Zoro said, frantically "Could you say that again?"
"The victim didn't want to be stabbed?"
"No! Before that!"
"I saw the two men fighting?"
"THERE!" Zoro placed his hands on his hips, triumphantly.
Mr. Laws stared.
Nami stared.
The audience stared.
The judge broke the silence. "Erm… Mr. Zolo?"
"Yes, your honor?"
"Um… what's your point?"
"……..OH!" Zoro jumped. "I didn't present evidence, did I?"
"No… you didn't."
"RIGHT! Here's my evidence!" He held up the toxicology report. "This report from the police department says that, at the time of the murder, Mr. Cervantes was drugged with 'abnormally strong narcotic sedatives, causing a retardation in the nervous, muscular, and endocrine systems." Zoro slammed the desk for evidence. "The victim was sedated at the time of the murder, your honor!"
"HE COULDN'T HAVE PUT UP A FIGHT!!"
"WHAT?" yelled Flowers.
"MS. FLOWERS!" demanded Zoro. "The court would like to hear an accurate testimony!"
"Ms. Flowers" said Laws "if you could revise your testimony to appease this idiot, I, personally, would be truly grateful."
"Revise…?" Lily flicked her hair out of her eyes. "I have no need to revise my testimony, I know what I saw!"
"The two of them fought, or at least, it looked like a fight…"
"Then, that man stabbed Cervantes in the back! Just like the traitor he is!"
OBJECTION!
"Ms. Flowers!" Zoro yelled. "Do you mean that literally or metaphorically?"
"What?'
"About my client stabbing Cervantes in the back!"
"OF COURSE I MEAN IT LITERALLY!!" pouted Flowers. "HE STUCK THAT KNIFE IN THE VICTIMS BACK!"
"IMPOSSIBLE!!!! Snapped Zoro. He held up the autopsy report. "This report lists several stab wounds… HOWEVER!"
"NONE OF THEM WERE INFLICTED TO MR. CERVANTES' BACK!!!!"
The court was unsettled.
"BANG BANG BANG!!" "ORDER, ORDER!! I WILL HAVE ORDER IMMEDIATELY!!" screamed the judge.
"Wait…several stab wounds?" asked Flowers.
"Hm? What is it, witness?" asked Zoro.
Flowers smiled. "You've got your facts wrong, Mr. Attorney. The victim was only stabbed once!"
Laws reeled back. "WHAAAAAAAAAT??"
"Your honor!" yelled Zoro. "It is clear to me that this witness did not actually see the crime!"
OBJECTION!
"That is not what it means!" Laws countered. "It only means that she only saw the first stab!"
OBJECTION!
"But the witness has stated that the victim was stabbed in the back! A CLEAR CONTRADICTION!" Zoro snapped.
OBJECTION!
"The witness is confused your honor!!!" Laws offered.
OBJECTION!
"I'M NOT CONFUSED YOU MEANY!!!!" Flowers yelled. "I CLEARLY SAW AMARILLO STAB THE VICTIM!!!!! IN THE BACK!!! WITH THAT KNIFE!!!! ONCE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!" She pulled at her hair, her face taut with rage and stress.
BANG BANG BANG!! "ORDER, ORDER, ORDER, ORDER, ORDER!!!!! Screamed the judge. "Mr. Zolo, your thoughts?"
"She's lying!" whispered Nami. "She just wants to be a witness, she didn't see a thing!"
"I don't know about that…"
"What? What do you mean? Say that, then the trial's over!"
"But… that's not what happened…"
"Your honor" Zoro declared, "There is too much wrong with this witnesses' testimony to be a simple mistake! I can only come to one conclusion…"
"THE WITNESS WITNESSED A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MURDER!!!!"
The courtroom went into a riot.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!!!!!!! "ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT ORDER NOW!!!!!!!"
OBJECTION!
"MR. ZOLO!" Screamed Laws. "HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE WITNESSES' STATEMENT THEN? SHE SAYS SHE CLEARLY SAW MR. AMARILLO!!" Laws shook his head, and then wagged his finger at Zoro. "The only thing you've proven is that Mr. Amarillo…"
"IS GUILTY OF A DOUBLE MURDER!!!!!!"
The crowd was out of control.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The judge bellowed. The echo rang through the courtroom. Silence fell on the room immediately.
Wow… that's some voice!
"Mr. Zolo?" asked the judge. "Do you have an objection?"
"Of course, your honor!" laughed Zoro.
"WHAT'S SO FUNNY!!!?" Nami whispered loudly.
"It's so obvious… I can't believe I didn't notice it before…"
"Well?" the judge asked hurriedly. "Spit it out!"
"The window" Zoro stated simply.
"… What about the window?" The judge asked, confused.
"The window that the murder occurred in front of…"
"IT'S MADE OF FROSTED GLASS!!!!!!!!"
Lily Flowers jumped. "WHAAAAAAAT?"
"Ms. Flowers, I think you've been the victim of a cruel memory trick." Zoro explained. "The window that you observed the murder through is made of frosted glass! Everything seen through it would have been distorted!"
"THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD HAVE CLEARLY SEEN ANYBODY!!!!"
"What? No way! I… I SAW IT!!!!!!!!"
"Here's what I believed happened, Ms. Flowers. You saw a different murder take place in the kitchen that day! Then, when the police arrived and informed you about the case, your mind filled in the missing gaps, and gave you the impression that you saw Mr. Amarillo! But in actuality…"
"YOU COULD NOT HAVE KNOWN WHO IT WAS AT THE TIME!!!!"
"No…."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lily started to cry. "I…. I'm sorry, really, I am…"
"It's alright Ms. Flowers," offered Laws. "Memory is a tricky thing… it's easy to see how you could have been fooled."
"Yes…" Flowers said, wiping her eyes. Then she perked up. "You really are a sweetie, huh Mr. Prosecutor?"
"Aha…" laughed Laws. "I suppose so…"
"Can I go home now?"
"Of course… go right ahead."
"Thanks, sweetie!" she smiled, winking at Laws.
The courtroom grew excited.
BANG BANG! "Why…WHY DO I NEED TO CALL ORDER WHEN A WITNESS WINKS?" The judge was flabbergasted.
"Right…" the judge started, after the room had calmed down. "Where does this leave us?"
Laws summarized the proceedings. "Mr. Zolo has proven to this court that the witness did not clearly see the stabbing, thus casting suspicion as to whether the knife was the murder weapon or not."
Oh yeah baby! Reasonable doubt cometh!
"However…" Laws smirked "there is still no room for doubt in this case!!!"
OBJECTION!
"WHAT???" Zoro yelled. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN???"
"May I remind the court, Mr. Amarillo was the ONLY PERSON near the scene of the crime! Considering the speed at which the police arrived on the scene…" Laws laughed. "There is no other alternative, your honor!"
"Yes… very true. As you said earlier, there is no room for doubt."
What the… no! I didn't prove all that just to lose!
OBJECTION!
"Your honor."
"Yes, Mr. Zolo?"
"Mr. Laws' summary, however succinct, has left out one important detail! While it is true I have cast doubt on the murder weapon's identity…"
"I HAVE ALSO PROVEN THAT AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON WAS AT THE SCENE THAT DAY!"
OBJECTION!
"And who is that?!" demanded Laws.
"THE VICTIM OF THE SECOND MURDER, OF COURSE!!!!" Zoro shouted.
Uproar, uproar, uproar.
"ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The judge screamed. "Mr. Zolo, what are you driving at?"
"Your honor! We have proven today that two murders occurred on that night! HOWEVER! Only one body has been found!" Zoro stomped on the ground. "ERGO! Is the police search of the premises missed a dead body…"
"IT IS VERY PLAUSIBLE THAT THEY MISSED A LIVE ONE AS WELL!!!!!!"
OBJECTION!
"Your honor!" interrupted Laws. "I…. I OBJECT!!!"
His honor shook his head. "Overruled, Mr. Laws. This… is serious." The judge cleared his throat. "Some interesting questions have been raised in this case. How thorough was the police search? Where, and is there a second body? Were other people on the scene at the time of the murder? These questions must be answered before this trial can continue! This court is adjourned… to reconvene tomorrow at 10:30 am! That is all!"
BANG!
Lotipac Hill Courthouse, Defendant's lobby. 8/01. 11:52 am.
"Mr. Zolo!" Amarillo exclaimed, tears in his eyes. "That… that was… MAGNIFICENT!!"
"Don't rejoice yet, pal." remarked Nami. "You're not off the hook yet, the evidence is…well, it's still kind of overwhelming… and I bet Mr. Laws has even more up his sleeve that he didn't pull today."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Reno," Zoro grumbled. "Mr. Amarillo… I have to ask… where were the other brothers on that night?"
"I TOLD YOU!!" Amarillo yelled. "NEITHER OF THEM WOULD HAVE DONE IT! IT'S… IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!"
"Mr. Amarillo, I understand how you feel but… I need to know."
"No… they didn't…"
"We're not saying they did." Nami said. "But we've learned that two people died that night! If you don't know where they were, then there's a possibility it might have been another one of your masters!"
Nathan reeled in shock. "NO! Not… not another one…"
"Mr. Amarillo," Nami prodded softly. "Please…"
Nathan looked down. "I… I don't know… Mr. Dante said that he and Mr. Benvolio would be out for a while… but they never said where…"
"And that was around what time?"
"About 11:30 I suppose… but…" he straightened up "You must believe me! Neither of them would ever…"
"I understand Mr. Amarillo" Zoro said. "We'll see what we can do."
It's not just empty words either… I really do know what it's like to truly believe in another person… to deny the fact they might be evil… I know it all too well… Aw, Crap taking a nap! I told myself I'd stop having corny inner monologues!
"Everyone does, pal" reassured Nami, "just embrace it."
End of chapter four. The plot thickens.