And you would say to me,

how great this love can be.

But you're loving all the team,

fucking everyone you see.

Cheap Sober – Evil Bitch

Sasuke clenched his fists together experimentally, unflinching when his sharp nails dug into the pale skin of his palms. He made sure to keep his eyes tightly shut, refusing to acknowledge his whereabouts, it definitely wasn't Sasuke's first visit to the hospital. There was a constant ache at the back of his head that refused to relent, he groaned in pain while wishing he had never woken up, things are so much easier to deal with when deeply asleep.

The curtains isolating him from other patients were rudely torn open as a pudgy nurse that Sasuke couldn't see stepped into the perfectly pristine area of hospital bedding in which he was residing. The nurse pursed her lips as she glanced down at the small clipboard in her hands, her eyes scrolling down what could only be assumed to be a list of patients.

"Uchiha Sasuke?" She mispronounced his name. Sasuke responded by nodding weakly and opening his eyes, only to wish he hadn't. The stark white walls closed in and invaded his much appreciated personal space bubble, while the fluorescent lighting glared down harshly and seemed to penetrate right through his fucking head. He resisted the urge to dive down under the covers and hide.

The nurse eyed Sasuke disapprovingly and clicked her tongue in annoyance. "So Sasuke, this is your fourth hospital visit?" She then continued to the flip over a page of her clipboard and scroll over a list of reasons for his hospital appearances. "It's actually my fifth, bitch." The Uchiha muttered under his breath, the nurse had either not heard what he said or had chosen not to comment. "Abusing others, gang ups, self harm… I'd recommend a psychiatric hospital for someone like you." She tapped his forehead with a long yellowing nail "Something must have gone a bit funny up inside there."

Sasuke gritted his teeth in anger, how dare this ugly old cow insult him? He was the Uchiha heir for Christ's sake! How could someone even think of implying that he was going slightly nutty? He was very close to making sure that this woman was hospitalized for severe injuries, hopefully permanently.

With his blood shot eyes tightly shut and under the pretense that the God forsaken woman was most definitely not within close proximity, he could have almost fallen asleep had she not spoken and brought him out of his relaxed state. "So, what was it this time?" Sasuke's eyes snapped open and glanced over at the nurse with what appeared to be the infamous Uchiha glare, people generally cowered at the mere mention of it. "What was what?" He deliberately hissed each word out, one at a time. The nurse pressed her lip stick coated lips together and tapped her disgustingly yellow nails against the clipboard, Sasuke could have sworn he saw one chip off and fall onto his hospital bed sheet, barely inches away from his foot. Soon, he promised himself, he would be out of this horrible hospital. "This incident. Why are you in hospital? Suicide? They pay me to work here, not to know the history of each patient to ever set foot in this building." Well, he had assumed that was exactly what the hospital was paying her for.

Sasuke leaned back with a sigh and rested his head against the sterile metal bed rest, his hands were just itching to wrap themselves around that woman's neck, didn't she know when to draw the line? He bit his lip in order to hold back the snarl that was working its way up his throat, his hands once again clenched tightly. "I got into a fight with a classmate." The nurse frowned at his reply and hurriedly wrote something on her clipboard "Who initiated it?" her pen was poised above the piece of paper, without a doubt every word he spoke would be recorded. "I did!" He snapped, clearly this fact was something he was proud of, another notch to add to his belt. Another disapproving glance was thrown his way and Sasuke could hear the sound of a patient coughing their lungs up, the nurse wasted no time in reminding him 'that the hospital was a place for the sick, not for egotistical teenagers to gloat about their battle scars'.

As soon as the nurse left, Sasuke felt that he could finally relax properly without being interrupted, soon his family would take him out of this wretched place, and he could only hope that they didn't take up the hospitals offer on free psychology counseling, what would he do if someone ever found out that the famed Uchiha Sasuke was seeing a shrink?

The curtains were pulled open once again "Sasuke, your brother's waiting for you in the car park." Sasuke replied with a sharp nod of dismissal at the doctor and got up to leave, the only reason he'd been sent to Konoha Hospital was because his mother had been worried that the blood he'd been coughing up was causing more damage than appeared, his father of course had denied it. Uchiha's were supposedly above asking for and accepting help.

The twenty minute drive home had been one of the most uncomfortable twenty minutes of his life, Sasuke had been very thankful when Itachi finally pulled up on the drive way, now he could go back to pretending that his brother didn't exist. Life just wasn't fair when your older brother bested you at everything. Everything. And especially when that same older brother had a secret life that no one but Sasuke knew about. Sometimes, escaping the Uchiha household was the only thing that kept Sasuke sane.

He waited until he was at least five blocks away from his house before reaching into his pocket and digging out a thin cigarette; his life savior. He held it between his lips and lit it up, inhaling the tobacco smoke which he assumed would relax him. The last few days had been stressful, nothing a packet of cigarettes couldn't fix though. There had been a time where he didn't have so many problems that he felt the need to turn to cigarettes, alcohol, drugs and violence, but that had been a long time ago, and Sasuke could barely remember it. He noticed that the smoke that was traveling through his wrecked lungs was becoming hotter by the second, if he didn't watch out; soon the embers would be burning his lips and fingers as well. He ripped it out of his mouth and dropped it on the lawn, stepping on the remains to put out the burning embers.

"Uchiha! What do you think you're doing on my front yard? You little punk! You're gonna clean that fucking mess up or I'm calling the goddamn cops on you! I caught you and your friend breaking into my house once already, one more offense and you'll be sorry!" A bald man yelled while slamming his front door open, Sasuke didn't doubt him for one moment; thankfully he was a very fast runner. As he raced back towards his house, he could hear the distant sounds of the mans' young daughter telling him to calm down and not upset her beloved Sasuke, he couldn't remember ever belonging to someone, especially some stupid fangirl who fancied herself in love with him.

He stood against the wall on his porch, desperately wishing for the smell of cigarettes to mysteriously disappear, it was clinging to his hair, clothes, hands and lips, his parents and brother would detect the obvious stench as soon as he stepped into the house, as far as they knew, Sasuke had only tried smoking once, and never again. He frowned as he heard the phone ring from somewhere inside, why did he care anymore if his parents caught him? There was nothing they could really do, apart from his father glaring at him and his mother constantly reminding him of how disappointed she was. But honestly, did he really care?

He cringed as the front door opened, his mother poking her head out from between.

"Sasuke? I just a call from your principal; Tsunade. She has a few concerns with your schooling… is there anything we should know about? We only want the best for you…" Uchiha Mikoto; his mother, said in a soft voice from the door way, her hand tiredly raked through her dark hair. Sasuke shrugged, none of this was their business or concern, he was tired of people trying to barge their way into his life, believing that they were helping, when in reality they were actually making a bad situation even worse. "Okay, but I want you to know that if anything is wrong, you can always talk to me." She replied with a smile, of course that was what she was meant to say, trained words, that without a doubt, would go straight to his father one way or another. "Alright, I'll remember that." Lie, he wouldn't even consider it.

He walked to his bedroom in silence, making sure not to look at Itachi as he passed him, any eye contact at all and he would have given it all away, there was a reason why his brother had excelled in psychology during his high school years, and he didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had won this little game between the two of them. It was all about pretense. He pushed his door open and stepped into the lightless room, it was nothing spectacular, but it wasn't completely devoid of anything interesting, especially if you knew where to look. You could read a person just by looking at the colors of their décor and clothes, Sasuke didn't even want to know what Itachi's purple nail polish explained about him.

"Boys! Dinner's ready!" He heard his mother call out to both him and Itachi from the kitchen, it would be just the three of them tonight, with Fugaku still at work, perhaps that was a good thing though. He walked out of his room, tensing his shoulders and wearing a permanent scowl. Sasuke pulled out an expensive modern chair and sat down opposite his brother, it was almost impossible for him to be in the same room as Itachi without feeling the urge to glare holes into his overly large fore head, although he managed to suppress his feelings this time around. Mikoto walked over to the table with her hands full of plates and cutlery, she was constantly being praised for being the 'perfect house wife'. Sasuke could no longer see how being called submissive and quiet was in any way a compliment.

Blind Obedience.

"So, Itachi, how is your job going?" his mother asked with a gentle smile, she was curious as to how he was doing since she'd heard that Itachi had landed the management role of an expensive restaurant, but she had received no details. The young man paused with his cup halfway up to his mouth; he set it down with a quiet thud "Good." Although both siblings weren't particularly good at conversations, Sasuke knew the real reason for his brother's hesitance to talk and tell the family about his mysterious new job. The reason was simple; the job he'd apparently scored never existed, it was all a lie to cover up what Itachi was really doing, and how he earned so much money, more like stole. "That's great." She replied, enthusiastic about keeping the conversation flowing "I think it's wonderful to have both you boys here for dinner together, especially since Itachi is just so busy these days." Sasuke knew why, and it wasn't because he was working, he was too busy killing people, but he guessed that was expected of gang members. He had even met a few of the other members; it had not been the most enjoyable experience.

"Itachi, can you pass the salt?" He hoped he died a horrible death, the sooner the better. "Of course, little brother." Sasuke gritted his teeth at the title, Itachi was trying to show that he had control over him, but Sasuke wouldn't let it happen again, and he would find a way to uncover the inner monster that his brother was hiding, just to see the shock on people's faces when the discover what he really was.

Sasuke had managed to focus on something less distressing by the time he had finished eating, pleased that he was able to block out the thoughts and memories by pushing them to the corner of his mind. "Itachi, can we talk for a moment?" Sasuke was going to accuse him again, Itachi, of course, would lie, no questions about it. An endless cycle that was repeated over and over again.

"Sure, what is it you want to say to me?" Itachi replied smoothly, looking at their mother from the corner of his black eyes, Mikoto would become suspicious if Sasuke asked to speak to him alone. He knew how to play this game, he'd win.

"Well, you see, I've been having these male… problems. And I thought you might be able to help me?" Sasuke smirked at his brother's dumbfounded expression.

Mikoto seemed to have heard, "Oh! I'll just leave the room! Don't mind me." She chuckled, a light pink blush on her usually pale cheeks. She stepped into the living room, shutting the door to ensure the boys privacy.

Itachi narrowed his dark eyes at his younger brother, a slight frown on his pale lips, "If this about… that. I should have you know that I don't have time for it tonight, I'm a very busy man." He said monotonously, his face never betraying his true thoughts. Although Itachi had never been an open book, he had become harder to read over the past few years, eventually becoming almost impenetrable.

Sasuke seethed, biting down on his tongue just to keep his mouth shut, he desperately wanted to follow Itachi tonight, but he knew that would not be possible. If by chance he happened to get caught by one of the Akatsuki members, he could guarantee that he would be better off dead. They would probably inhumanely torture him, and of course, Itachi would never step in to defend his younger brother.

"You know what, just forget I said anything…" Sasuke mumbled, his eyes downcast towards his feet as he trudged off back to his room.

Sasuke slammed his hand against the wall as he entered the only place he could truly relax, his teeth gritted in annoyance, marring his porcelain face. He threw his exhausted and beaten body onto his bed, groaning in pain as his head made a loud 'thunk' as it hit his bed head.

"Fucking dogs, all of them." He spat. Not at anyone particular though, nothing in the entire world could make him happy, it's just the way things were in his life.

He'd been there, done that. Nothing appealed to him anymore, he felt that horrible realness of feeling nothing at all. It took him twice the amount of drugs to get a decent hit, straight alcoholic spirits to make him even feel slightly tipsy, and girls? Nothing would ever satisfy him there, he'd had them all, and boredom wasn't something he wanted tugging at his dick.

Sasuke's pale hand reached under his pillow to grab his little bottle of pills, these sleeping tablets had been prescribed to him since he was 14, unable to sleep for no apparent reason. He reached in and grabbed a few more than he should, shoved them in his mouth and gulped them down in one shot.

Another day down, fuck knows how many to go.

"Hey man, good to see you're out of hospital now, didn't want to see that fuckhead Kiba around any longer!" yelled Neji, quickly walking faster to catch up to the Uchiha. Sasuke turned around and acknowledged his friend but didn't bother to take out his ear phones which were blaring with loud music.

"You got smokes?" he questioned, staring expectantly at Neji's bulging pocket, no doubt filled with a pack of cigarettes and maybe a joint or two if he was lucky. The Hyuuga pulled out a few smokes and handed them to Sasuke, "Here, take a few I'm trying to cut down anyway, this shit's starting to affect me pretty bad." Was his reply as the two boys continued walking to school. Sasuke looked up in surprise, his mouth slowly twitched into a smirk as he eyed off his friend.

"Good on you, didn't think you'd be the type to give up part of our bad habits."

A breeze drifted past them as they entered the school, Neji took Sasuke's words as an encouragement. Something not everyone was able to do with such ease. If Neji smiled, maybe this would have been a good time.

The day drifted by slowly for Sasuke, he was constantly checking his phone for the time when school finished, he'd been told off by the teachers a few times but none of it bothered him in the slightest.

"Okay class, find your partner and continue your research. By the end of this lesson I would like for you to have begun formulating a speech to present about what you've learnt." Ms Yuhi said, her voice stern but calm. She gave a disapproving look towards some idiot girl Tenten and some other slut who's name Sasuke didn't know, apparently the two had been in the middle of exchanging gossip.

He tapped his pen against his desk as he waited for his partner to come to him; the idea of him going to her was completely out of the option. The Uchiha watched as students grudgingly stood up and walked over to their partner for the history assignment, it seemed like no one was too enthusiastic about any of this. Sasuke honestly could not blame them. He was partnered up with some dull witted lesser version of Neji Hyuuga, after all.

"H-Hi.."

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

Sasuke looked up at the girl and scrutinized her in a way that was taken by most as a glare; he didn't note down too much except for the fact that she looked as happy about this partnering arrangement as he was. He quickly turned around on his seat to see where her eyes fell, as her vacant pale irises certainly weren't on himself.

Ah.

So it turned out he had a Naruto lover standing awkwardly in front of him, he watched as the timid girl bit her lip as she quietly eyed Naruto chatting up his history partner, a thin blonde girl with a skirt that was a few sizes too small.

If Sasuke had feelings, he guessed that this would have been the right moment in time to feel pity, and say something heartwarming and completely untrue to make such a pathetic girl feel the tiniest bit better about herself.

But as it was, feelings were something that Sasuke Uchiha's drug addled mind couldn't comprehend, so instead he looked the girl up and down for the final time and snorted.

"If you had a chance with him, it would have already happened by now." He said, face devoid of any emotion or characteristics. Just blank eyes and small flash of teeth that could have meant anything to anyone.

The lesser Hyuuga finally turned back to look at Sasuke again, her face bright red and her mouth trembling, he guessed it must have been hard for this girl to finally hear the truth. He prided himself on at least being honest about it, compared to Naruto's constant lies to each and every girl on the planet, except Saukra. Never Sakura.

"I..I don't k-know what you're t-ta-talking about.." She said, her words coming out in this slightly cute but slightly hideous stutter. Sasuke just looked up at her and raised a delicate eyebrow, the hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

"I'm telling you something that needs to be said, not something that you want to hear. Naruto would have no interest in you, he doesn't date; he fucks. And if for some strange reason he decides that he wants to get his dick wet with someone like you.." Sasuke glanced back over at Naruto to see the blonde's hand was already resting on the girls ass, "You're name would be forgetten by the next day, you'd just be another on his list, understand me Hyuuga?" he finished as he looked back to see the pale girl was almost in tears.

"I-I don't li-like the w-way you're ta-talking about yo-you're best friend." She choked out, her lily white eyes steadily focused on the floor. Her pale hands were clenched into fists as she finally slumped down in the chair next to Sasuke.

"If you choose not to take my advice, then you're an even bigger idiot than you're cousin makes you out to be. Best friend or not, Naruto is a teenage boy with wants and needs, it's only fair that a naïve girl like you be warned once and no more."

Sasuke reached into his pocket, ignoring the Hyuuga girl's solemn glances in Naruto's direction. He pulled out his phone and opened a text from the blonde boy himself, it read "gonna fuck this one tonight, she's coming back to mine tonight, wanna join?" Sasuke turned to find Naruto looking directly at him, cheeky grin on that tanned face, and the Uchiha nodded, it had been a while since he'd put a bitch on the spit after all.

The rest of the lesson was spent in silence for Sasuke as he let his timid partner do all the work for him, he stared with judgmental black eyes at the blonde girl who was soon to be his and Naruto's little play thing for the night. She was probably beautiful in some people's standards, in his however, she was nothing special, but Lord knows she would have to do.

Sasuke lit up a cigarette as he listened to his other friends in the group chatter about all sorts of meaningless gossip, inhaling the tobacco smoke and slowly letting it drift out of his lungs. He could feel Sakura's gaze burn into him as he leaned back and exhaled.

Sasuke was lying down on the grass field next to a bouncy Naruto and a few other boys and girls that he didn't really care for, unfortunately Sakura was sitting cross legged directly in front of him, staring at him intently.

Just fucking great.

He'd slept with her months ago and she was still trailing after him, he thought it had been worth it at the time. Not the best fuck, but a decent one, even if she was a little bit of a clingy slut. And then it had escalated into this.

"Sasuke!"

"What?" he replied, closing his eyes and letting the sun warm his face, taking another drag of his cigarette. "What the fuck do you want Sakura? My cock in your mouth again?" he heard a few giggles from the others at his comment. His mouth twitched into a small smirk.

"Want me to ram your ass in the shower again? Is that what you want?" he opened his eyes to find Sakura's face had flushed to a bright pink to match her hair, a filthy scowl beneath all those layers of make up.

"I want you to pay attention to me for once!" she screeched, embarrassed by the last sentence that Sasuke spat out. It wasn't any secret that the two had fucked each other, just that Sakura had grown some kind of horrible obsession with the Uchiha.

"Fuck off." Sasuke hissed, standing up and brushing grass and ash off himself, "I don't want to hear your shit, slut." He grabbed his books and walked away from the group. Smoke from where he'd left his cigarette rose, the crowd sitting in silence as they watched the raven haired boy take his exit.

Sasuke had a small frown on his face as he strode over to the library, he fastened his pace as he heard the loud thud of footsteps closing in behind him.

"What's gotten into you lately?" Naruto said as he grabbed Sasuke's shoulder and pulled him to a halt. There was not even a hint of a smile on the blondes face, his mouth pulled tight into a grim line.

Sasuke winced. "Nothing, you know what I'm like." He spat out in return, annoyance washing over his pretty face. The last thing he needed right now was Naruto badgering him for answers, so what if he'd just crushed the girl his best friend deemed himself in love with.

"I see you as a brother Sasuke, you've always understood me and who I am. But right now it's me not understanding you.. You're being a jerk, bigger than usual and I don't know what the fuck's up your ass but it needs to stop."

"Like I haven't seen you behave the same way before." Sasuke replied with, his glare fading into a look of annoyance as he prepared to walk off again. He wasn't in the mood for this, he just wanted time by himself so he could sit alone and not be bothered by the idiots surrounding him.

Naruto shook his head in disappointment, "Whatever man. I'll see you later." The blonde said as he turned away and walked back to the group, all of them watching the pair expectantly. Sakura appeared to have a tear streak running down her face, smudging her make up. She sniffed daintily as Naruto approached her with comforting glances.

Sasuke frowned.

So maybe he'd been a bit crueler than usual lately, so maybe he'd been hurting everyone around him. So what. It's not like he needed to explain himself to anyone, it's not like he needed to go to some stupid fucking counseling session and pour his heart out to some poor sympathetic old sod.

"Idiots." Sasuke ground out as he distanced himself from the concerned eyes of his best friend.

He didn't need anyone but himself.

AN: Yeah okay I'm the worst person ever, I haven't updated this thing for like 4 years now and it's been sitting here just WAITING for me to touch it again.

And then I did, and probably screwed up the entire thing :(

I'm really sorry that Sasuke is being such a dick, and that there's like nooooo pairings so far but I promise there will be soon I just need to get back into the flow of things!

Too much love for all my reviewers!