Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the fmylife website.

F My Life

Sango

Today, I realized that I might actually like it when my boyfriend inappropriately grabs my ass in public. I was so mad about this that I hit him without explaining why. Now, we're both distressed. FML

On 10/11/2010 at 5:31pm – love – by toughgirl (woman) – Japan

"There's something wrong with you," Kagome said as she finished reading Sango's post; she said it laughingly, though, so Sango decided not to be offended by the comment. "You're officially calling Miroku your boyfriend now?"

"We've been dating for a couple weeks, and I don't see an end in sight. I'm not sure if I'm happy or not about that," Sango explained thoughtfully, stealing her laptop back from her best friend to scroll through the other posts on the site. "We both know I'd break his heart if I broke it off now."

"His heart or your own?" the darker-haired girl asked, for once sounding less perky and more contemplative.

Sango shrugged. "We're barely twenty-one, Kagome; I'm not making life plans here."

"I can't believe you posted that on fmylife," Kagome said suddenly, stealing the laptop back, scrolling to the top of the page, and rereading the post. "You're worse than Souta; he's never posted anything himself."

"I can't believe you're not hooked yet," Sango argued. "Kohaku only had to read it aloud for an hour before I started checking it every day."

"You're such a boy!" In response, Sango socked Kagome in the arm. The younger girl grasped her shoulder and winced but was still laughing. "You totally just proved my point."

"You're only mad because I'm immune to your charms."

"What charms?" Kagome asked defensively, getting up from her mother's couch and picking up the dishes that had piled up while the girls pigged out. "Help me take these to the kitchen," she ordered when Sango remained lazing around on her butt. The brunette immediately jumped to her feet and brought her hand to her forehead in a mock salute that left Kagome rolling her eyes. "And they say I'm the one with all the energy."

"You should go kickboxing with me," Sango suggested.

"Ha!" Kagome snorted, stacking some cups to make them easier to carry. "Like Inuyasha would ever let me do anything that might give me a bruise or a sprain or something. Sometimes I think he thinks I'm made of porcelain." She paused, eyeing Sango pointedly as the other girl did the bare minimum in clean-up. "And you never answered my question; what charms?"

"Everyone thinks you're so sweet and cute, but I know the truth."

"Which is?"

"You're stubborn and grumpy and a little naive," Sango said, holding up a finger for every characteristic she listed off. "You ramble when you're nervous, which some people think is cute, but I think is annoying because it takes forever to figure out what you're trying to say."

Almost immediately, Kagome thought back to when she'd called Inuyasha during her matchmaking attempt between Miroku and Sango. Glumly, she realized she did tend to babble when she was excited or nervous about something. Inuyasha hadn't seemed to mind that time. Maybe she should watch it, though, and not push him next time. "I don't think I'm naive," she finally said since she couldn't really argue with her best friend's other points.

"Kagome, you'd take candy from a stranger even if they were driving a creepy van with blacked-out windows."

"Would not!"

Sango snorted but navigated around Kagome to the kitchen without pushing the topic.

"Even if I am all those things," the younger girl persisted, trailing behind, "at least I don't like it when my boyfriend molests me in public. And you know what? I have a boyfriend who doesn't even try to molest me in public."

"Because Inuyasha's gay."

"He is not," Kagome snapped, but her tone lacked the bite that meant she was seriously angry. She took the bait on purpose, knowing Sango was just being snarky because her best friend was still disturbed about the realization she'd posted on the website a few minutes earlier. "Inuyasha's just—He's just emotionally constipated, that's all."

Together, the girls collapsed into a fit of giggles at the sink.

"The one good thing about Miroku's perverted ways is that I'll never have to guess about his sexual orientation. Girls, girls, girls."

Kagome worried her bottom lip, fighting the grin that was stretching across her face. "I think…"

"Yeah?"

"I think we should test that theory. Personally, I think Miroku is preoccupied with butts in general, not just girls' butts."

"What's the test?"

"We find a guy with a nice butt, cover his face, and make it so Miroku only sees him from behind, and then we see if he can help himself."

Sango snorted. "He better not help himself. I can barely handle the few times he's 'accidentally' brushed against another girl's ass. I don't think I'd be okay if he felt up some guy!"

Kagome shrugged, still grinning. "C'mon, just picture it. Oh! Oh! Imagine if we got Inuyasha to do it! He wears a pair of jeans pretty well!"

"He'd have to be drunk."

"Probably."

Sango shook her head, grabbing Kagome by the wrist to drag her out of the kitchen and back to the couch. "This is a weird conversation."

"You started it by admitting you like to be groped."

"By Miroku, not by just anyone. It's different if it's a guy you're seeing who's doing the groping!"

"So if I touched your butt, you wouldn't be happy about it?"

The girls looked at each other mutely for a few seconds before once again collapsing in a fit of giggles. "Don't," the brunette gasped between laughter, "don't ever let Miroku hear you suggest something like that again. His head would probably explode."

"Yeah, well, Inuyasha can be so jealous and possessive, I don't think he'd even appreciate a girl-on-girl joke."

"Because he's gay," Sango concluded.

"Oh, cut it out," Kagome said warningly, wagging her finger. "Seriously, though, I dropped by the apartment—speaking of which, they still haven't completely unpacked; they're so lazy—and Kouga was on his way out. He opened the door for me, which was actually kind of polite considering it was Kouga, and Inuyasha was practically seething. And if we ever all eat together? It's like Inuyasha thinks 'pass the salt' is code for 'make-out with me in the closet when my boyfriend's not watching' or something."

"I don't think Inuyasha's completely imagining it, and I think you're a little more oblivious than you think you are. Kouga does it on purpose," Sango said wisely. "I'm pretty sure he's happy with Ayame. He's just teasing Inuyasha because pissing him off makes Kouga happy."

"Boys are weird."

"Don't I know it," Sango said, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket and looking at the wallpaper she'd put up of her and Miroku with their arms around each other and laughing. After studying the innocent look on her boyfriend's face in the photo, she turned her eyes again to her laptop. The FML post she'd typed up was in the middle of the screen where Kagome had left it. For the life of her, Sango just couldn't figure out why it made her want to laugh.