Tails isn't going insane, there's just no way he's going insane...
Sonic watched helplessly as Tails slammed his fist into the wall, frustrated that he could think of nothing to do to help his friend. He couldn't deal with having failed Tails yet again, especially if he was seriously losing Tails to a dead psychopath. It had been bad enough when Esplouge was still alive, but if Esplouge was able to continue his reign of terror even after death...
How can I stop someone who's already dead?
Of course, the mere thought was ridiculous. Esplouge was dead, there was no one to defeat, no one to stop. Tails was just... He was just having some trouble with coping, that was all.
He was just having some trouble coping.
Sonic tried to repeat this to himself in his mind over and over, but with each repetition, he felt his resolve grow weaker. He knew that this was more than just mourning. Tails needed help.
"T- Tails..."
Tails looked to Sonic, glaring. His eyes just seemed so utterly empty, as if someone had stolen the happiness and childlike innocence away from him.
"You're telling the truth, right?" the fox asked finally, his voice quiet. "I really killed Amy?"
"No, Esplouge killed Amy," Sonic replied, hoping that if he refused to buy into Tails' weird little game, all of this nonsense would stop. "You're Tails. You're my little bro..."
"Shut up," Tails spat. "I have no idea what you're trying to pull, but I'm in no fucking mood for..."
Tails' hands went to his head suddenly, as if trying to hold it on. Sonic fought the urge to hold him, knowing that in his state, Tails was likely to just push him away.
I can't stand seeing him like this...
"Sh- shit..." Tails cursed under his breath. "Fucking headaches..."
Despite the oddness of their current situation, Sonic couldn't help but feel his protective instinct kick in. He knew he had to do something.
"Are you okay, Tails?" Sonic asked, making sure to say Tails' name. He refused to let Tails forget who he was.
Tails slumped over slightly and almost seemed to shrink away from Sonic. He appeared to be in so much pain, but he also seemed unwilling to let Sonic get anywhere near him.
By this point, the only good thing that could happen would be if Tails just passed out...
Sonic felt guilty for even having such a thought, but he knew it was true. If Tails were to pass out, Sonic could call a doctor, get him some help, do whatever it was he needed to do to end whatever nonsense was taking over Tails' actions and speech. He didn't want to lose his best friend to this madness.
"Tails, please let me help you," Sonic said, extending a hand out toward the fox.
Tails slapped Sonic's hand away. He looked back up the the hedgehog, glaring.
"For the last fucking time, quit calling me that."
"No."
Sonic and Tails glared at one another in silence, each willing the other to back down. Tails finally looked away from Sonic, although the glare did not leave his face.
"You always treat me like crap," Tails said. "Why do you act like you suddenly want to help me out?"
"I've never treated you like crap, Tails," Sonic said, hoping that if he said Tails' name enough times, everything would just go back to normal. He couldn't stand seeing Tails like this, like that monster.
"I'm not Tails," the fox repeated quietly.
There had to be some way to prove to Tails who he was, Sonic thought, but how was he going to do that? Tails seemed so set on believing he was Esplouge, how could Sonic convince him that he wasn't?
They didn't exactly look the same...
"What colour are Esplouge's eyes?" Sonic asked suddenly, hoping that physical evidence would finally be able to prove his point. "His fur?"
"What are you...?"
"Look at yourself, Tails," Sonic interrupted. "You don't look like Esplouge, his fur was darker, remember?"
Tails looked at the golden fur on his arms, most of which was stained red from the bleeding. But the light golden colour was unmistakable, and Esplouge's fur had been much darker than that.
"Wh- what...?"
What the fuck...? Why am I seeing him? I'm... I'm me, right? I'm still Esplouge...
N- no I'm not...
What...?
A surge of senseless thought and emotion hit Tails all in one instant, bringing memories, tearing away other memories, replacing heated and angry emotions with softer and milder confused emotions, replacing who he believed he was with who he really was...
Without warning, Tails threw up.
--
"I... I'm still me. Right?"
--
"Oh god, what the hell is going on?"
--
"Esplouge, I can't see you... Where'd you go?"
Tails felt something touch him from behind, holding him tightly. His blood ran cold.
"I'm right here..."
Tails felt his panic rise.
"Get away from me!!"
--
"What the fuck's going on?!"
--
Tails' vomiting ceased, although Tails was still shaking. His expression was one of pure horror and his eyes seemed so distant, Sonic wasn't sure if Tails was mentally there anymore. Sonic felt sick, torn between helping Tails or getting to the bottom of whatever madness was taking him over. He couldn't stand seeing his best friend in so much pain, and it was made worse by the fact that there was nothing he could do about it.
Why does this have to be happening to him? Sonic wondered sadly. Why do things like this keep happening to him?
Tails cringed suddenly, seeming afraid of something Sonic could only guess at. A little bit of awareness seemed to return to his eyes and Tails began to look around, stopping when he saw Sonic's concerned face.
"Ugh... S- Sonic...?" Tails' voice sounded frail and small, as it had when Esplouge had still been alive. It was a start, Sonic thought, although in a perfect world, Tails wouldn't be sounding so weak and helpless. If anything, it only made Sonic want to protect him more, although he was tentative to approach Tails just yet.
"Tails?" Sonic asked tentatively. "Are you okay?" Unable to restrain himself, sonic also asked; "You're you again, right?"
"What...?"
Tails felt so utterly weak, as if he were about to vomit again. His mind was so unclear, he couldn't place what had happened before throwing up.
When had Sonic gotten there? Better yet, whywas Sonic there? The two hadn't spoken much since Esplouge had died. Then again, nothing was making sense to the fox at all. He clung weakly to Sonic for support, and Sonic responded immediately by half dragging, half carrying Tails back toward his shredded bed, setting him down on the destroyed mattress. At the very least, he wanted to get Tails away from the vomit and onto a softer surface than the floor.
"Do you need anything?" Sonic asked, hoping that whatever had taken hold of Tails before was gone and never coming back. Tails wasn't crazy, he couldn't possibly be thinking he was Esplouge...
Tails suddenly felt a shiver run down his spine.
He's still here... Esplouge is still here somewhere...
Now that was a weird though. Tails had been there when Esplouge had died, when there was no longer any doubt as to whether or not Esplouge would wake up. He knewEsplouge was dead.
So why did it feel like Esplouge was somewhere nearby?
"Sonic... What's going on?" Tails asked weakly, although sounding a bit better than he had a moment ago. The nausea was finally starting to pass.
"I should be asking you that," Sonic shot back, immediately regretting the sharpness of his words. "What the hell was going on with you?"
Tails stared blankly at Sonic for a moment.
"What are you talking about?" Tails finally asked, staring up at Sonic with the eyes of a confused child. His head was starting to hurt again. He had been getting frequent headaches lately.
Headaches that tended to go hand in hand with memory loss, although he wasn't about to tell Sonic that. The last thing he needed was for Sonic to think he was crazy.
"When I first got here, you were acting really weird," Sonic explained, hoping still that it was some sick game or better yet, a dream. "You were telling me to call you Esplouge. You seriously don't remember?"
But I am Esplouge...
Tails slowly shook his head in answer to Sonic's question as he blocked the random thought out. He was Tails, not Esplouge. Why would he even think such a silly thing, even if it was just a random, fleeting thought? The whole thing was silly.
Maybe I need sleep, maybe I'm just hungry, maybe I'm just dehydrated...
"It's a river in Egypt..."
Tails could remember someone saying that to him at a point, although by now, he couldn't remember who it was.
I'm not in denial, I really haven't been sleeping much lately, and I can't even remember the last time I ate or drank anything...
"I don't remember you getting here," Tails explained softly after a short pause. "But I've been forgetting a lot of things lately. I meant to set up an experiment to figure out why, but I kept forgetting to work on it. Isn't that funny?"
Tails gave one of the weakest smiles Sonic had ever seen, mostly trying to make himself feel better rather than the blue hedgehog.
"I'm not going crazy," Tails said, his tone as weak as his smile. By his voice, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than Sonic. "I'm just... grieving. I just need some more time to cope, that's all."
"Tails, you've had two whole months," Sonic said. "Not to mention the times before when he died and came back later. You've had more than enough time to grieve for him, and considering the way he treated you..."
"Don't even pretend to know anything about it," Tails interrupted, angry emotion creeping into his otherwise weak voice. "He wasn't all bad..."
Sonic grabbed Tails' arms gently so as to not irritate the wounds Tails had carved into himself. He turned Tails' arms so that Tails could see his bleeding wrists as well as the numerous scars from when Esplouge had tortured him.
"He tortured you," Sonic said. "If you were in a room of mirrors, you'd be able to see the ones on your back, too."
"But he trusted me," Tails argued weakly, knowing there was no way he was going to make his point convincing enough. Esplouge had been completely insane, even when he had had amnesia. "He hated everyone else, but he trusted me..."
"He was insane, Tails," Sonic argued. "He hurt you. He killed two of your closest friends, as well as a lot of other innocent people. Why do you keep defending him?"
Tails was silent.
I... don't know...
Tails tried to rationalize things in his mind, tried to figure out just why he always felt the need to defend the person who had tortured him. There really was no reason to, he figured. After all, Esplouge had never treated Tails well unless he was taking advantage of him. And now Esplouge was gone, had killed himself despite Tails' desperate pleas that he stop, and yet, Tails still couldn't stop himself from defending the psychopath.
So why had he felt the need to defend Esplouge?
Sonic allowed the silence to drag on for a moment before speaking up again.
What am I thinking? Tails is hardly in the state to be talking about this...
"Come on," he said, gently tugging Tails to make him follow. "Let's at least fix up those scratches. We can talk more about this later."
Tails nodded and followed Sonic to the bathroom. It had been a long time since Sonic had taken care of him, since Sonic had taken an almost parental role to make up for what Tails no longer had. It was a nice feeling, Tails decided, to have someone who cared for him so much. It made him feel like a kid again, a feeling that had often been fleeting ever since he had met Esplouge.
So he told himself that the scratches were from falling down while playing.
If the scratches were from playing and falling, he could continue to be a kid. Yes, he had just fallen down, and big brother Sonic was helping him get cleaned up and bandaged.
Now all he had to do was think up an explanation as to why he didn't have parents. Maybe they were on vacation. A really long vacation...
Yes, of course. Everything is fine.
Everything will be okay.