AD 2010.12.29 08:15:35:78
I was pretty sure at the time of my decision, but now I began to have doubts.
I stood in front of the door of the Future Gadget Laboratory. Though it was difficult for me, I walked here in the Kirari costume. If I said that I would do it, then I would make Mayuri happy, and Okabe will have succeeded in his unorthodox plan. If I turned back now, then I could save myself from being humiliated in front of thousands of people. Gulping down my fear, I knocked on the vault-like door in front of me.
"I'll get it!" Mayuri chimed.
Quickly, I checked myself to see if anything was out of place and straightened my hair. A few seconds later, the door made an unlocking noise. The door opened, and revealed a surprised Mayuri. Her face quickly turned to joy, and she hugged me tightly.
"Ruka! You're actually wearing my cosplay on your own!" She cheered.
"Ma-Mayuri, please calm down!" I begged.
"Don't try to break the poor thing, Mayuri," Okabe said.
Eventually, she let go of me so I could come in.
"So, did you come to go with us to Comima?" Mayuri asked.
"Mayuri, I don't think that he is here for that. He might be returning the costume," Okabe said.
"That doesn't make sense, considering he doesn't bring a spare change of clothes," Kurisu said.
"Unless he came to let himself be undressed by Mayuri so that sh-"
"-Save us your perverted dreams, Daru," Kurisu interrupted.
"In any case, we still don't know why he's here," Okabe said.
I mustered my courage, and spoke.
"M-Mayuri is r-right; I-I came to go with the Future Gadget Lab to Comima!"
It was silent for a few seconds, and then Mayuri broke the silence.
"Hooray! Ruka is coming to us for Comima!" She cheered.
"This is definitely unprecedented. He was always against cosplaying, especially in public," Kurisu stated.
"Yeah, I'm still wondering about that myself. I didn't think he would actually join us. Nevertheless, we shall restart the mission!" Okabe exclaimed.
"Commencing Operation: Baldr, Second Phase!"
This was the second time I've seen Big Sight, the building where Comima is held. The first time i came here, my nervousness made me scurry away, but this time, I was determined to stay with Mayuri. Eventually, we got to the registration table.
"You are already signed up," the man at the table said.
"We require one more pass for our cosplay friend," Okabe demanded.
"Alright, just sign in the information here," he said.
I filled out the registration card, but hesitated once it got to the two check boxes: "male or female?" Nervously, I checked "Male," and handed it to the man.
"Thank you for signi-" he stopped mid sentence. He gave a careful examination from top to bottom. He had a strict expression on his face.
"Are you truly male?" he asked.
I can't do this. If I stay I'm gonna get apprehended by security!
"I-I..." I hesitated.
"Yes, he is a guy, and he is the cutest guy that anyone will ever see!" Mayuri proclaimed.
He sat back in his chair, and began to ponder.
"Well, the Comima rules state that technically cross-dressing cosplay is accepted, but security had stated that I should prevent crossplayers from going in," he said.
He gave me another glance, then sighed.
"I suppose security wouldn't notice," he decided, "Here is your badge, and make sure to have fun at Comima."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Th-thank you," I said.
With that, we made our way into Comima, and prepared ourselves for the all the insanity that the convention had to offer.
We had split up into 3 groups: Okabe and Kurisu, Faris and Daru, and Mayuri and I. Okabe told us to separate among these groups to "expand our presence to all corners of Comima." I'm not sure about the others, but I think Mayuri and I had the biggest audience. Everyone kept staring intensively at me from all directions. All that attention felt even more embarrassing than the times the lab members saw me in my costume, but it was a lot better than when I ran away in the streets of Akihabara. A lot of them asked for pictures of me, and Mayuri said it was fine (she didn't really ask me for my consent, but I just went with it). A few people who loved the costume would ask me if I made it, and Mayuri would step in at that point. It felt really unnerving most of the time, but seeing Mayuri happy made it worthwhile for me to be here. It's pretty much what gave me the courage to brave on. It made me forget the issues that clung to my mind the last few days, and push them aside.
After walking around for what felt like hours, Mayuri and I sat on a bench.
"Waah, Mayushii's exhausted!" Mayuri breathed out.
"Tell me about it," I responded.
"I need a month-long break after this. Preparing Kurisu's costume, Faris's costume, and studying for my exams were all really tiring," She said.
She did all of that in such a short time frame? I know she likes going to Comima, but that is an awful lot of work to do for one convention, let alone for a strange cause that Okabe created out of nowhere. I'm amazed at Mayuri's devotion.
"I am really amazed, Mayuri, doing this all for Kyouma," I stated.
"Huh? What do you mean?" She replied, confused.
"I mean Operation Baldr. Even though Kyouma's idea was pretty demanding of you, you still made it possible."
"Actually, to tell you the truth, Operation Baldr wasn't Okarin's idea," She denied.
"I-It wasn't?" I asked.
"It was Mayushii's idea; Okarin just gave it a nice name," Mayuri admitted.
"W-why? Why have Kyouma cover it up?" I asked.
Her gaze moved down to her lap.
"Well, to be honest, I did this for you, Ruka," Mayuri explained.
What? She did this for me?
"You seemed so down yesterday when you said you didn't feel comfortable about being a boy. Even though you said it was fine, Mayushii could still see that you were sad. I didn't want you to feel depressed, so Mayushii planned all this so that you could feel happy again. It was actually really easy; I just asked for the costumes Kaeda and Fubuki had as spares to put on Kurisu and Faris."
"I-I don't understand. What were you h-hoping to do?" I sheepishly asked.
She started to move herself closer to me. I could see her hand moving closer to mine. What is she doing?
"Because, Ruka, you are you. If you weren't Ruka, you wouldn't be special," she reminded.
She moved her hand over mine, and clasped it lightly, still not looking at me. I could already feel my heart racing.
"And... Mayushii wants you to feel happy about being you," Mayuri said.
I could feel my face starting to blush. The first time I felt like this, the first time I felt genuinely accepted was when Okabe had saved me from those photographers. It made me feel wanted and cared about, and it gave me feelings of love for him.
I feel so stupid.
The truth is, someone had already accepted me for who I really was and cared about me. Someone who, no matter what, always accompanied me, treated me fairly, and tried to boost my confidence. I always used to think that that person was Okabe, but now I realize he wasn't the only one.
Mayuri cared about me from the start.
"Do you feel better?" Mayuri asked.
I desperately tried to calm down. Mayuri is my best friend; it's okay to hold hands. There's no reason to get all nervous.
"Y-yeah," I said as I brought myself back to my senses, "I feel better now."
She stood up from the bench and let go of my hand.
"Okay, well, we still have more places to see! Mayushii wants to show you her favorite doujinshi stand!" she happily said.
Slowly I stood up, and followed her through the sea of people. For a while, I felt even more nervous than when I walked in. Except this time, it wasn't the attention that had me on edge. The scene on the bench stuck to my mind like a magnet, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept telling myself that Mayuri is a close friend, and it's normal to clasp hands. Nevertheless, I calmed myself down and slowly began to enjoy myself as I followed Mayuri. Flashing back, I thought of our days in middle school, where she broke my stagnant depression and comforted me in times of need all the way to high school.
I was thankful that I had a caring person that appreciated and accepted me despite my insecurities.