Terra-colored eyes opened groggily, much to the dismay of their owner. Kyo had only caught quick bites and snatches of sleep throughout the night, the guilt burning a hole in his stomach.
The sun was up, though just barely, the sky still pale and watery. "Damn it." He moaned, rubbing his face into his pillow before sitting up begrudgingly. Well, at the very least he could get a little exercise in before starting his day. Stretching slightly, he stepped over the pile of his clothes from the day before, only snatching a pair of boxers from the clean pile, halfheartedly tugging them up his legs.
Stumbling out of his bedroom door, he headed immediately to the bathroom, wanting to brush the stale taste of self-condemnation off his teeth and tongue.
Before his outreached hand could even touch the knob, it twisted on it's own, Yuki's body emerging from the room, followed by a thick cloud of steam from his shower, dressed in his usual - a traditional Chinese shirt, today was a white silk with pale gold embroidered around the collar.
Their eyes locked for several seconds before the cat cleared his throat awkwardly. "Are you done in there?" He asked impatiently, giving the rat the impression that he had been waiting for awhile. Yuki stared pointedly at the tanned male's handsome face, though in his peripherals it was painfully obvious that he was only wearing a pair of plaid boxers, the waistline of which clung tediously low on his hips.
"My apologies, I didn't know anyone would be up this early." He answered stiffly, retreating to his room.
Kyo watched his retreating back, nearly biting his tongue in half to keep the snarky comment from coming out. "Next time, just use the hose outside, then." Damn it.
Yuki turned slowly, eyes narrowed,his fist clenching in supressed anger. "Next time, just come in."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Kyo snapped, feeling his skin heat at the implication.
"Whenever you're feeling bold enough, Kyo."
"Big words for someone like you."
"Oh, sorry. I forgot that you're not very good with vocabulary. I didn't mean to condescend to you."
"I don't understand what everyone sees in you." Kyo scowled, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation, shaking his head. He intended to walk into the bathroom and close the door with a satisfying slam, effectively ending their conversation. The rat's next words froze him in his tracks.
"Neither do I." There, that unguarded voice again. The same one he had used when reminding Ayame about his scars. It crept from his ears to his chest, giving him chills. Their eyes met and locked again, but this time Kyo stared, really stared.
"I. . . " He hesitated, feeling anxiety swirl in his blood. "I was just kidding, Yuki."
"No." He answered, shaking his head slightly. "I know exactly how you feel. I would hate me if I were you, too."
Kyo's jaw dropped slightly at the answer. "No!" He exclaimed with such veracity that the rat flinched, startled. "I don't hate you, Yuki."
The words seemed to affect the purple-eyed Sohma physically, his cheeks flooding pink, his breathing becoming shallow. With a tiny noise in his throat, he whirled on his heel, seeking escape from the situation. It reminded Kyo too much of the night before, too much of the same feelings of guilt and confusion and frustration. Too much of Yuki's beautifully wide eyes wounded and bitter.
His hand flew out, snatching Yuki's wrist before the rat could get far enough away. Startled, he froze, staring straight ahead. The feel of the cat's fingers gripping his bare skin, firm but still somehow painfully tender caused his blush to deepen and spread from his cheeks all throughout his body.
Slowly, the miliseconds seeming like hours, he turned back to face his cousin. Kyo's face was deadly serious, his eyes burning with intensity. "I meant it, Yuki. Nobody hates you."
"I hate myself." The words tumbled out, much to his embarrassment. what was about the rough cat that made his chest ache with something he had never felt before? What was the feeling? Despair, a longing so deep it sliced into him, and the desperate need for Kyo to know him. Really know him.
The orange-haired boy took one agonizing step toward him, then another, still ensnaring the narrow wrist, where the pulse was beating a frantic melody. They were inches apart now, eyes still connected with a palpable tension. "Your eyes are hypnotizing me, like always. . ." Kyo admitted, embarrassed at the poetic words, surprised for the fact that they had come from his own brain, and the fact that they had somehow wiggled their way out his mouth. The hand not holding the rat's arm ascended gently, just barely skimming a strand of smoky locks. "I try not to look at them, but. . ."
"Good morning, gentlemen!" Shigure's sing-song voice called out to them from the living room, around the corner, sounding as though he had just exited his bedroom. "I hope you're awaaake, Yuki! Ayame just called me, and he's so excited for your little meeting today! Are you getting rea-" The dog turned the corner into the hallway, where the two teens had broken apart hastily. The dog's eyes narrowed, a smile slowly tugging his lips up. They were both panting slightly, Yuki's pale skin glowing pink. Even from his distance, he could see both their eyes dilated with lust.
"Y-yes. I'll be ready for him." Yuki answered, his voice roughened slightly with arousal, a tell-tale sign. He squeezed his eyes closed in embarrassment, trying to take deep, steady breaths.
Shigure's smile grew to a wide, toothy grin. "Are two of you feeling alright? You look flushed."
He was answered only with two slammed doors. Repressing the urge to laugh, he stumbled back into his bedroom, snatching the phone off the hook to dial Ayame.
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Sweat poured off him in waves, his muscles gleaming with the effort of his body. Fists ricocheted off the training dummy, a haphazard dance of limbs striking the right spots at the right speed. Satisifed with his progress and the ache in his arms and abdomen, Kyo leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees, allowing the cool summer breeze to give him a moment of pleasure. His sexual frustrations were becoming unbearable, and the only outlet was either this, or taking care of it himself. Which was usually satisfactory, in his opinion, except for the fact that he could still feel the rat's skin and hair on his fingertips, both as sleek as silk. He knew all he would think about during would be Yuki, which would only result in more aching and arousal and longing. Vicious cycle, he mused. Damn rat, always looking so fuckable. It's like he does it on purpose just to torture me.
"Yuki is inside?" A dull voice from behind him asked, making him turn. Kyo frowned, the pronounced spark of jealousy surprising him as he stared at Yuki's self-proclaimed admirer.
"Don't bother." Kyo retorted. "He's going to Ayame's shop today to. . . Help him with something."
"I know. I'm here to take him there." Haru answered matter-of-factly, sidestepping the cat to walk toward the house.
"Wait!" The ginger-haired male snapped, blocking the cow's way again. "You're taking Yuki to Ayame's shop today?" He asked incredulously, eyes blazing with resentfulness. Yuki was going to Ayame's today to try on that stupid skimpy little outfit, and if Haru was going with them, then that meant. . . Oh, fuck that shit.
"That's what I just said, isn't it?"
"You can't! It's, uh. . . Private, you know." He struggled with the wording. Anything to keep Haru from seeing Yuki like that. I'll kill him first, he thought begrudgingly.
Haru gave him a long, level look before tilting his head curiously. "What are you even talking about, idiot? Ayame asked me to do this."
"What!?" Kyo snarled. He glanced to the side, noting one of Ayame's vehicles for the shop was parked in the drive, a tuxedo-clad driver waiting patiently. "That stupid snake sent you?"
"He told me that Yuki's nervous, and had a rough night. He thought it might be easier on him if he didn't have to come alone, and he's busy getting things together." Haru replied, his chest puffing out with pride at the fact that Aya had considered him a good candidate for cheering the gorgeous rat up. "Now move out of my way."
Kyo considered for a moment, and decided for honesty. "You need to leave."
"Excuse me?"
"I don't want you hanging around Yuki anymore."
Haru stared at him again for several moments, before speaking again, raising his hands passively. "Look, Kyo. I don't know what you're going through right now, but I didn't come here to fight you. Just get out of the way, I have to get Yuki to Ayame."
"Didn't you hear me?" Kyo repeated quietly, eyes narrowing. "Just get the fuck out of here, Haru!"
"Didn't you hear me, you braindead fucking cat?" The gothic teenager snarled, eyes finally flashing like marcasite, having been sufficiently provoked. "You're not keeping me from Yuki, you meddling asshole. Whatever issues you have, I don't give a shit."
"I'm going to kill you!" The cat snarled, fist flying out searching for purchase in his cousin's face. The cow caught it, smiling arrogantly. Kyo tackled him, throwing his body full-force forward, their forms sliding in the dirt, grappling.
"What the fuck is your problem, anyway!?" Haru managed to growl out, panting with the effort of keeping the cat from pummeling him. They were pretty evenly matched. The question seemed to distract Kyo though, as the cow was able to sink his fist into the pumpkin-eyed teen's stomach. In response, Kyo's foot caught his torso, kicking him forcefully up and away, landing a few feet back. They both scrambled to their feet, panting, eyeing each other like boxers in the ring.
"My problem is you coming in my house like you own the world, taking Yuki out like you're some kind of gentleman, and-"
"This is about Yuki!?" Haru interrupted incredulously, huffing in amusement, shaking his head.
"I didn't say that!" Kyo denied, baring his teeth. His abdomen hurt like fire. Fucking cheap shot, he growled in his mind, unable to bear the humiliation of it.
The other teen stopped suddenly, running a hand through his two-toned hair, before giving the cat a look of patronizing superiority. "Are you saying there's something between the two of you?"
Kyo hesitated slightly, wanting to lie and oversell it, to hurt the cow, whose crush for the rat was public and flamboyant. ". . . No, not really."
"So then you're saying you have some kind of claim staked on him?" He laughed cockily, rolling his eyes.
"Maybe I am." Kyo challenged, eyes shining with anger. Haru stopped laughing abruptly, leaning forward so their faces were inches apart.
"Don't think for a fucking minute that you're good enough for him. I don't care how many wet dreams you've had, or how many times you imagined him giving you some look." He stated crudely. "He's miles and miles out of your league."
"And you think you're on his level?" Kyo scowled, his rage slowly waning. He still couldn't stand the arrogant bastard, but he did have a point.
"I'm closer than you." He hissed, straightening his punk-style leather jacket deliberately.
"This conversation never happened." Kyo warned him, eyes narrowed.
"I wouldn't dream of it, kitten." He answered sarcastically, heading into the house. Kyo hesitated for a moment, then followed him.
"Ah, hello Haru!" Shigure said happily, sipping his coffee. "It's good to see you! Would you like come coffee?" His overly-friendly attitude made Kyo frown. What the hell was the dog playing at?
"No, thank you." He answered politely. His eyes had settled back to their slate gray, placid and calm. Both the cat and cow watched as Yuki entered the room, fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.
"Yuki." Haru crossed the room smoothly, taking the rat's twitching hand and bringing the knuckles to his lips lightly, a common greeting between the two of them, but this time it made Kyo's skin crawl.
"Good morning, Haru." Yuki replied rather absently, not noticing Kyo's scowl, or the way he was staring the two of them down like a hawk.
"So you know he's here to take you to Ayame's, right!?" Kyo burst out angrily.
"Oh." Yuki blinked, glancing at the cat distractedly. "Yes, Aya called me just a few minutes ago and told me. Thank you, it's kind of you to cancel your plans just for me."
"Anything for you." Haru replied sleekly, lacing their fingers together, tugging him slightly toward the door. "Aya is waiting, you know."
"Right." Yuki smiled a little. He was nervous, but it was true that being with Haru did calm his nerves somewhat. The cow may be a bit too flirty, even downright perverted when his 'black' side came out, but overall his gentlemanly and accomodating personality was like balm to the rat's battered ego and psyche. As long as he didn't get too touchy (Which had only happened a few times), then it suited Yuki just fine. "I was thinking afterwards, we could get some lunch in the city."
"Yes, alright." Yuki agreed pleasantly, allowing himself to bed led by the hand, the cow's other hand resting gently on the small of his back.
Kyo bit back his words at the sight of them walking out of the door, repressing a snarl as the cow held the door open for the breathtaking teen, and closed it softly behind him.
"Your jealousy is showing." Shigure remarked in an annoying voice, hiding his smirk behind the rim of his coffee mug.
"Shut up! There's nothing to be jealous over!"
"You think? Haru is handsome, after all. And Yuki seems rather comfortable with him."
"I meant there's nothing to be jealous over because I don't care what Yuki does, or with who!"
"So if he and Haru have a lovely little outing today, and Yuki comes back with the lustful look in his eyes that he was giving you this morning?"
"Mind your own business!" He slammed his fists down on the table. "Damn it!" He roared, to no-one in particular.
"Then again, one can be comfortable in a pair of house slippers." Shigure commented, taking pity on the conflicted cat. "When you find yourself feeling distinctly uncomfortable in regards to a certain person, that is usually when a romance forms."
Kyo glared at him. "Like you'd know anything about romance. You lust after anything pretty, man or woman."
"Lust isn't romance." The brunette reminded him. "And I am, after all, a writer of romance." He hesitated, before setting the mug down and sighing. "I meant what I said last night, Kyo."
"About?" He eyed the man critically, suspicious of the dog's sudden serious tone.
"You're being a coward."
"You have no idea how I feel." He finally relented, weary of the pretense. It was more than obvious the idiotic brown-eyed man knew exactly how he felt about the rat.
"Need someone to vent to?" He asked, the serious tone remaining in place. As much as he teased and tormented his younger cousins, he knew it was his responsibility to take care of them.
Kyo groaned, laying his forehead onto the table. "It's stupid."
"Even so." He offered.
"How am I even supposed to approach him like that?" He asked loudly. "So hey yeah, I know you're extremely good-looking and popular and everything, but if you ever feel like slumming it, I'm here."
Shigure sighed, resting his chin on his hand, giving the cat a somewhat tender look of haughtiness. "Is that really what's holding you back? Social status? I think we both know that kind of thing doesn't matter when two people have real feelings for one another."
"It does matter. And I don't even know if he feels the same way. Why would he?"
"Why wouldn't he?"
"Because. . . " Kyo shook his head, frowning. "Because! I'm an idiot, no matter how hard I study I still only make average grades. People worship him, Shigure, you have no idea. Almost every girl or guy in our class wants to date him."
"Does he seem interested in them?" Shigure asked logically.
"That's not the point!" Kyo bristled at the patronizing tone. "It's stupid to think that he would pick me over all of them."
"But you're one of the only people who has a chance of understanding him, Kyo. And vise versa."
"He'll never understand me." He replied bitterly.
"What don't you think he'll understand?" Shigure asked, treading carefully. He wouldn't be the one to spill Yuki's secret about Akito's abuse, knowing how important it was to him.
"The curse." Kyo said flatly.
"He's seen you in that form before."
"Seeing isn't like understanding." He explained. "It's like . . . Shigure?"
"Hm?"
` "You won't tell anyone about this. Aya, or anyone. Right?"
"You have my word." The man promised, and intended to keep it. Ayame would go on with whatever plots he was scheming to get the two of them together, anyway. Kyo's inner torment didn't need to contribute to that.
He continued, seeming reassured. "When people look at me, I feel like they know. Not about the curse, obviously, that's a secret of the Sohma. But I feel like they can tell something is wrong about me. Like there is something dark and disgusting in me. Even perfect strangers." When Shigure didn't answer, he kept talking, surprised at how much he was omitting. It had been so long since he could open up to someone. . . "And then when it's someone in the family, it's almost worse. Because they really do know. They know repulsive it is. Yuki knows."
"He told you that he is repulsed by you?"
"No." Kyo laughed a little, softly, but it was caustic. "You know he wouldn't just say something like that to me, even if I provoked him. His manners."
"Oh, I don't know. I've heard some pretty colorful things come out of his mouth lately, especially when he was feeling moody." The dog answered, eyes twinkling.
"Well, at any rate. I mean, I know he has problems, don't get me wrong. With Akito locking him up and everything." Kyo said, eyes downcast. "I just mean he can't really understand how I feel sometimes. Just so. . . Filthy. And disgusting and like nobody could ever love me or even tolerate me knowing about the curse."
Shigure closed his eyes serenely, amazed at the similarities in the things Yuki had confessed to him those years ago, the way he felt about being a rape victim. "You may be surprised,if you talk to him about it."
"No. I can't. It's too humiliating."
"What is?" Shigure asked sharply, leaning forward.
"Telling him all this shit, then. . . What if he just looks at me like. . ." He trailed off. "I just can't live with it." He finished, standing suddenly. "Fucking Haru. Asshole." He spat, glaring at the front door as if his thoughts could reach them.
"In his defense, he did see Yuki first. In the figurative sense." The dog explained, smiling. "Technically, you're hunting on his grounds."
"Yuki isn't some deer!" Kyo growled, eyes flashing. "I'm not hunting anything!"
"I'm sure he feels the same way."
"Are you trying not to make me feel guilty?!" He asked, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.
"Not at all. Just reminding you not to be so hard on Haru. He feels the same way you do, you know. The both of you are in the same boat. The only difference is, that he'll never actually get to have Yuki."
"Neither will I."
Shigure only gave him a cheeky pat on the head, making him snarl in response.
I love jealous semes(: Review!