Author's Notes:

Firstly, as always, I would like thank all those who favorite, followed or reviewed my story. Your support is really appreciated and pushes me to try harder.

Secondly, happy April fool's day!

Lastly: I do not own either "HighSchool DxD" or "SwordArtOnline"

PMH (Psycho Mother Hen) II

Three weeks had passed since her awakening and the abrupt end of SAO. Three weeks of reconnecting with her family and researching everything they had discovered about the incident and what had changed in the Underworld during her imprisonment.

Three weeks gladly enduring her mother's fussing in order to calm her down and prepare her for the proposition Argo was hoping to make.

And so, with confidence and determination Argo explained her request and how it was imperative that she be in the human world in order to invite her SAO friends into her Peerage.

She made sure that her speech was calm and rational; pointing all the logical reasons guaranteeing it was both necessary and as riskless as possible.

In hindsight, her mother's reaction was completely expected.

"Absolutely not!" She firmly declared, a worried expression clear in her eyes.

"Ever since both the Sitri and the Gremory heiresses moved into that country, it has become a literal hot-spot for trouble! If the reports can be trusted this very week the Gremory girl had an altercation with a group of low ranked fallen, there is no way you are going there!"

"But mother! The fact they are there makes it even more important that I go immediately! What if they recruit my friends into their Peerages?" Argo pleaded even though the sinking feeling in her stomach told her it was fruitless.

"I'm sorry darling." Her mother replied with a sad look. "I understand that you are eager to meet these warriors you befriended, and I'm really happy you are finally socializing with others besides Hikari-chan."

"But the simple fact is that you are not going to go gallivanting into the human world without first establishing a proper foothold and secure fall back areas." She continued, fierce determination radiating out of her in waves. "I shall personally look to that and once a proper outpost has been secured you shall be able to seek your friends with little risk."

"But that could take over a month!" Argo said in defeat, knowing she wouldn't be able to change her mother's mind.

"Indeed, but it's for the best. Now if you excuse me, the third scout party has just returned and I would like to confirm no interlopers have entered our land."

Looking as her mother hurried to the door to receive the newest report from the heavy patrols she had placed the entire land of the Dantalion under, Argo slumped in defeat.

"I'm sorry about this Tsukino-chan." Her father, a sharply dressed, slim built, black haired Devil, said adjusting his small glasses, which Argo was fairly certain had no other purpose than a fashion statement.

"I'll try to calm you mother down so you can go sooner, but you know how she can be at times." He said with a tinge of fondness, messing with her hair before going outside as well.

"That went well." Hikari said after a while, sarcasm dripping from her words. "So now what, Tsukino-sama?"

"It's quite simple Hikari." She said raising her head to look her [Queen] into the eyes, a fierce determination clear in her posture. "There is simply no way a trouble magnet like Kirito is going to be able to live normally for over a month while mother makes her preparations."

"With his luck it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if he literally stumbles into the supernatural due to some reason or another. We simply have no time to lose." She affirmed with certainty.

"So what's the plan?" Hikari asked, a mischievous smile appearing on her face.

"As a wise man once said, sometimes is better to beg for forgiveness, than to ask for permission." She simply replied, a mischievous smile of her own entering her determined features.

"Alright, here is the situation." Argo said turning to face Hikari, a series of blueprints displayed at a table, the low hum of a privacy shield guarantying no one would hear them as they talked inside her room.

"The only way to control the siege-wards is trough the central matrix interface, which is nested in a secure vault."

"The vault is situated right in the center of the compound, lodge deep below, right into the very bedrock that serves as the foundation of the entire mansion, with extensive sensor arrays all around its triply reinforced walls that can detect any attempt of approaching it, regardless if it be by magical or mundane means."

"The only way to access it is through this elevator, which in turn, leads to a long corridor that ends in the vault doors." She said pointing to a specific area in the second floor of the manor, a determined look in her eyes.

"First we have to get inside the elevator shaft that leads to the secure level where the central matrix is hosted. In order to do that, an eight digit code, that is changed daily, and an access card, whose only copies can be found with the chief of security or my parents, is necessary."

"Then to operate the elevator itself a palm scan is needed alongside voice print identification, both which are crosschecked in real time by the main security officers lodged at the central guardhouse in the ground floor." She continued, listing the growing number of obstacles placed on their path.

"The elevator shaft itself is lined with thaumic detection sensors as well as motion detection arrays, linked to a series of spell inhibition matrixes that create a powerful magic nullifying field inside it. The entire thing is also rigged to enter complete lockdown at the smallest sign of tampering."

"Once we get out of the shaft we have to slip by the corridor, which is guarded by four six feet tall enchanted golem sentries, whose destruction will result in the immediate collapse of the entire corridor by detonation of charges specifically placed in key points, completely isolating the vault with tons of rock. Not to mention even more spell inhibition matrixes located on the walls." She said in a grave manner, pointing to a blueprint showing the corridor in question.

"At the end of the corridor lays the vault door, sixty inches of treated orichalcum, covered with extensive defensive arrays and endurance seals. It's also fitted with the most advanced recognition systems ever devised by Devil-kind, using an complete energy scan that reaches down to the very genetic level in order to confirm the identity of the one opening it."

"So in a nutshell what you are saying is this." Hikari said interrupting her [King's] extensive explanations of the protections around the access point to the ward matrix.

"That in order to get there we need to: Get a code and access card, which we don't have; Fool a voice and palm scanner checked by guards located in a whole different are of the compound; Fight a group of enchanted golems, which we can't destroy; and bypass an ridiculously reinforced door featuring an stupidly advanced identification system. Is that right?" The red-headed [Queen] calmly asked, as if merely commenting about a plan to take a walk in the gardens.

"Yeah, pretty much." Argo acknowledged with a nod, staring curiously at the nonchalant attitude Hikari was sporting.

"Alright, I say we forget all this mumble jumbo and go straight to the vault trough the ventilation shafts!" She cheerfully declared, a beaming smile on her face as she offered a sagely nod to her perplexed looking [King].

"Don't be ridiculous!" Argo shouted, a complete lack of amusement clear on her face. "We are talking about one of the most heavily defended locations of my family! Do you truly believe there would be such a glaring weakness as an air duct leading straight there!"

"Of course, after all, it always works in the movies." Hikari nonchalantly replied, her grin growing even larger as she watched Argo's opening and closing her mouth without making a single sound, sheer incredulity robbing her of words.

"This is an absolute outrage!" Argo hissed, a very dangerous glint shining inside her eyes. "Once this is over I will personally hunt down whoever was responsible for this and make them wish they had been found by a Seraph first!"

"It's not that bad. The sealing at the entrance was incredibly well done and the sensor arrays and laser grids are extremely tricky to bypass." Hikari answered, attempting to mollify her clearly infuriated friend while simultaneously keeping up a spell designed to scan for magical wards.

"That is not the point!" She firmly replied as she skillfully dismantled a series of spells that were intended to alert the guards in the case of anything heavier than a speck of dust approaching them. "Who in their right mind creates a less defended alternate route into a heavily fortified area?!"

"People need to breathe after all Tsukino-sama." Hikari cheerfully teased as she followed her fuming [King] down a corner of the ventilation shaft they were traversing in route to the vault.

"Nonsense! An air purification spell would be more than enough to keep the air completely breathable! And even if this system predates that particular spell, which I seriously doubt is the case, why would any being with any modicum of intelligent thought build a ventilation system large enough for people to fit inside?!" She bellowed in rage, clearly taking this little oversight into the vault defenses as a personal offense to her family's honor.

"I told you it would work." Hikari cheerfully teased, grinning even harder at the long string of profanities that were Argo's response.

Author's Notes:

I love spy movies like Mission Impossible, but the fact that ventilation ducts are large enough for grown man to get inside has always been something that I find completely absurd. Not to mention that they always lead to heavily secure areas, while having almost negligible defenses of their own.

So that was my inspiration for this chapter, the idea of a truly staggering amount of highly challenging obstacles and security measures, being rendered utterly pointless by a measly ventilation shaft.

I also thought that it was oddly fitting for April fool's day. The building tension of the ever larger list of defenses, growing and growing, only to lead to a magnificent anticlimax!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review before leaving.